After a long day of following the cultists, the Nein ascended into the tower for pies and conversation with Dagen. They accidentally revealed some sensitive information, they hilariously experimented with a food source for one crimson weasel, discovering Sprinkle's preference for bunny pies, and several members willingly tried the bug pies Yasha delightedly requested.
As they each separated to their rooms for the evening, some of them finding rest despite feeling over-full from pie or a level of indigestion from worry, sleep found many members and dodged others.
Alone with her thoughts, Yasha struggled. She rolled onto her side for the fourth time in ten minutes, her hair strewn across the pillow, and huffed out a frustrated sigh. The imagery swirled in her mind of the day Molly had given her that four-leaf clover for luck, alternating with the image of this foreign person in Molly's body taking it from her today. She'd examined him carefully as she'd held out the clover, noticing all of the tiny ways he'd changed.
The jovial, anxious color of his personality and clothing was gone. A tear slid down her cheek, hot and unwanted, leaving a salty trail as it met the pillow. She buried her face in the pillow to wipe it, then turned over again, closing her eyes and seeing the red glow of Lucien's magic as, her imagination ran wild, and behind her lids Lucien instead held Molly up, his blood vessels bursting as the life left Molly's eyes and a scream of agony tore through him. Yasha sat up abruptly, pushing her calloused fingers through her hair, her heart pounding in the darkness.
More than an hour had passed before Yasha heard a knock at her door. She climbed out of bed, walking through to open it, revealing Jester and Beau both; Jester in a pastel pink nightgown carrying a cat snuggled to her chest, and Beau in sweats and a tank top, hands tucked into her pockets.
Yasha stood in the doorway, frowning. "Uh, hello."
"Sorry Yasha. Did we wake you?" Jester asked. "We couldn't sleep."
Yasha sighed in relief and shook her head. "I couldn't either." She stepped aside and the two women entered.
Jester walked slowly towards the bedroom, but Beau stayed beside Yasha a moment, recognizing the anxious crease to her brow. Reaching up to place her hands on either side of Yasha's face, she pulled her towards herself until their foreheads touched.
Yasha felt herself relax into Beau's grasp, her own hands lifting to cover her lover's. They stood solemnly for a moment, breathing in each other's scent, before they both followed Jester.
Yasha's bed was large enough that almost all of the Nein could have fit in it, and definitely comfortably fit the three women. They hardly even spoke as Jester sat on one side, waiting for the other two. Yasha climbed back into the covers that were still peeled back, and Beau climbed up into the middle, laying between her best friend and her favorite person. She laid her head on Yasha's shoulder, rotating so Jester would be nestled into her embrace as well, and to Yasha's relief, the comfort of the sleep-over did in fact make drifting off far easier.
When the morning came, Jester stretched and yawned, peering over to see Beau with her head nestled into Yasha's neck, one arm slung across her chest. Yasha's arm was wrapped securely around Beau's back, pulling her closer. They looked so comfortable, Jester's heart swelled with contentment and she climbed off of the huge bed as gently as possible so as not to wake them.
At the sound of the door closing, Beau began to stir. Her eyes blinked slowly open and she inhaled deeply of the scent of the woman beside her. Lifting her head, she verified that they were again alone, and pressed gentle kisses to Yasha's hair and throat, peppering up to her cheek. She pressed one tender lingering kiss to Yasha's soft lips and savored the way Yasha responded in her sleep, her hands automatically beginning to trace small, gentle circles on Beau's back.
Yasha's eyes blinked open tiredly, focusing on Beau after a moment. "Hey." A sleepy smile stretched her mouth.
"Good morning. You sleep okay?"
Yasha stretched and flexed her arms and legs, taking inventory of her body. "Mhmm. You?"
"I slept great." She grinned back down. "I think Jester left already."
Yasha turned back to meet Beau's gaze. "So we're alone?"
"For the moment." Beau's eyes twinkled.
Yasha lifted one hand and tenderly caressed Beau's cheek, leaving her hand lingering there.
Beau covered it with her own. A pit fell into her stomach with nerves and she took a deep breath.
"Yasha, with everything going on… well, I've been doing some thinking."
"Me too."
"I- Oh yeah?" Beau hesitated.
Yasha's thumb traced tiny circles on Beau's cheek. "After what Caduceus said about… about not imagining that we still have all this time. About not making mistakes when it comes to… waiting."
Beau bit her lip and gazed down at Yasha. "I mean, we haven't hesitated much when it comes to this, what we have." She sat up and faced Yasha, taking her hand into her lap.
Yasha's brow furrowed. "Hey, if you're not ready to talk yet, we don't have to."
Beau smiled back, looking down at hers and Yasha's interlocked fingers. "That's not it at all. I uh." She swallowed, but her mouth had gone dry. She lifted her eyes to meet Yasha's. "I've been doing a lot of thinking recently. Of course, thinking about Molly, or Lucien." She inhaled sharply to stay focused. "I've been thinking about people, thinking about words and what they mean, depending on who says them." Beau paused, shifting her eyes around the room, then forcing herself to look back at Yasha. "I've heard people say, you know, 'You're mine,' to their partner, and then the other person would blush or smile or… react in some way... but that never sat right with me. See, it implies something like ownership. You and I both know how it feels to have someone else talk and act like they own you, or like… like they feel like they can make your choices for you." Beau winced, wrinkling her nose and shaking her head. "I don't want that."
Yasha nodded. She didn't trust herself to speak.
Beau nervously passed a hand over her face and hair as she continued, staring down at her warm, darker skin compared to Yasha's long, pale fingers in her grasp. "The other phrase I've heard is the 'I'm yours.' I like that one better. It expresses more of a giving of yourself, instead of a taking of someone else. If someone says 'I'm yours,' they are telling you that they're choosing it for themselves. They're putting themselves in the other person's hands. It's kind of… well, I like the idea of choosing. Choosing to give, instead of someone else choosing to take. Does that make sense?"
Beau took another deep, somewhat shaky breath, and turned her face to fully address the woman before her. "I guess what I'm trying to say, Yasha, is… I'm yours. If you want that. If you want... me. And it's okay if you don't, I mean I'm a big girl, I can take it. But… you know, if you did-"
Yasha bolted upright and pulled Beau into a tight embrace. Her strong arms wrapped around Beau's small, capable frame, and held her tight against herself.
Beau hesitated, surprised by the action, but wrapped her own arms around Yasha in return. The embrace was warm and smelled comfortable, and Beau felt safe in her arms.
After a long moment, Yasha pulled back, placing a hand on each side of Beau's face to make their foreheads meet. "I… I do want you, Beau. And… I really like your words. That separation you made. The choice." She took a shaky breath. "I think… I mean, I'm sure now. I am yours, too. If you want that."