Author's Note: I'm not real sure when I'll get to what was originally planned for Chapter 16, but at the moment…I figure it'll be Chapter 18. But, it'll still be a hard chapter to write, even if it will be a couple chapters later than planned.

Other: And, a continuing thank you to my beta for this story, vrskaandrea - any remaining errors are solely my own.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Grandma's Song

Benny paced back and forth in the room, he'd tried sitting still, but he'd had an aversion to hospitals since…well, since before he was turned and now, besides as a place to get blood if the blood bank was low, he had no use for them...so, sitting still inside a hospital room wasn't going to happen. The one good thing out of this mess was that he DIDN'T still have his Soulmark, because he knew if their positions were reversed…Dean's mark would be driving him crazy. Psychosomatic in nature or not, Soulmarks were both a blessing and a curse. And, he'd questioned for many years if what psychologists were calling psychosomatic really was or if it was just referred to that way because they didn't understand Soulmarks.

Benny stopped and stood at the foot of the bed, looking at Dean's comatose body in the hospital bed. He crossed his arms and used his right index finger to begin tapping at his left bicep. Dean had suffered a concussion but his…brain had swollen, as well. His left jaw had had to be wired shut - which Benny still thought meant his mouth, since not being able to open one prevented the other from opening. His right shoulder had been completely separated which whether that simply required surgery or replacement wasn't yet known. He had also suffered multiple broken ribs. His left ankle had been shattered and his left knee wasn't any better. What Benny wanted to know was WHERE THE HELL was security when this happened?

Chuck had told him that Dean wouldn't be facing charges for starting the fight and the other guy wouldn't be facing charges since it was self-defense, which Benny knew was good. But, after telling him that…Chuck had also made him think, was it possible for him to…FIX Dean. As he'd explained to Chuck, it WAS possible, but it wasn't simple…well, it was and it wasn't. It was simple because if Benny had his blood drawn and…injected it into Dean, it could fix the damage that was done to Dean since the damage was for lack of a better term, internal. It wasn't simple however because Benny would then need to feed - and this time, he wouldn't be able to feed off of Dean. The good thing was, this time when he'd left Carencro, it hadn't been long since he'd fed. So, he knew he'd be okay for at least the next four days.

Benny also knew however, that while in theory…he could heal Dean that due to the fact that Dean was in the hospital…Benny COULDN'T do what needed to be done. It would garner to much damn attention - and not the good kind - for Dean and…there would be too many questions that if Dean answered would put Benny in the cross-hairs of one government or another, since they'd never admit to the existence of actual vampires, and would just want to bury Benny's existence. And technically, what was wrong with Dean wasn't life threatening. 'Yeah, just keep telling yourself that and maybe you'll stop feeling so guilty about NOT doing something.' Benny thought to himself.

xXxXx

Cas' eyes snapped open. He was leaned against Sam's right arm, his head on Sam's shoulder, and he just stared blankly at Benny for a minute before sitting up away from Sam, Benny pulling his left hand back from Cas' right shoulder, and Cas tilted his head curiously. 'Benny, what's going on?' Cas asked yawning and stretching his arms up above his head.

'I need a conscience and since this isn't Pinocchio so Jiminy Cricket isn't available, I figured you would make a good second option.' Benny said honestly.

Cas snorted. 'Sure, find me some peanut butter and jelly flavored coffee, a packet of honey, one sliced banana, and I'll be your Jiminy.' He said seriously.

'Uh, any chance you'd just take a PB&JHB sandwich?' Benny asked curiously.

Cas nodded quickly. 'And, maybe one of those pizza bagels I've seen you eat on a few occasions? Those look REALLY good!' He asked with a shy grin.

'Actually, where a bagel starts out looking similar to a donut, you cut it in half and one half is pizza and the other is veggie and bacon…that's how I like mine, anyways. The bagel itself is what's considered as an everything bagel. So, are you SURE you want that? I don't meet that many people that likes that combination.' Benny explained.

Cas nodded quickly, again. 'Uh huh, uh huh.' He said happily.

Benny shrugged. 'Alright, Jiminy…one PB&JHB sandwich and one bagel made to my specifications, coming right up.' He said in a voice he reserves for when he's working.

xXxXx

'So, what do you want?' Cas asked curiously, sitting in the floor in front of a still sleeping Sam, his two half-bagels sitting on two separate napkin, half his peanut butter, jelly, honey, and banana sandwich sitting on another napkin, and a large hot chocolate with extra honey sitting on another napkin. Cas took a bite out of the other half of his PB&JHB sandwich.

'Are you SURE you're a Novak and not a Winchester? You have Dean's eating habits!' Benny said honestly.

'I've grown up around Dean and Sam, so while I'm technically a Novak…I behave more like a Winchester. Besides, you've never seen some of Gabriel's eating habits, he'd put Dean to shame.' Cas pointed out.

'Actually, I have seen Gabriel's eating habits, how he isn't diabetic…I'm at a loss to understand.' Benny said honestly.

Cas laughed, before shoving the rest of the first half of his sandwich in his mouth, and Benny chuckled at the puffed out chipmunk cheeks Cas had given himself. 'You do know that you eventually have to SWALLOW your food, don't you?' Benny asked curiously.

It took Cas a minute and several successive hiccups later to respond. 'I'm well -' hiccup 'aware' hiccup 'of that,' hiccup 'Benny.' He said honestly. 'So what' hiccup 'were you' hiccup 'wanting' hiccup 'me to be' hiccup 'your conscience' hiccup 'for?' He asked curiously, before shoving the second half of his sandwich in his mouth, and re-puffing his cheeks.

Benny shook his head in disbelief, he really hoped this WASN'T Cas' normal eating habit, but thinking about Cas and Sam staying at Dean's and having seen the way Cas ate then too, sadly…he knew it really was just Cas' typical eating routine. 'I need you to give me a good reason to NOT do what I'm thinking about doing.' He said honestly.

It took Cas another minute to respond. 'Wha-' hiccup 'What' hiccup 'are you' hiccup 'think-' hiccup 'thinking' hiccup 'about doing' hiccup 'that you' hiccup 'want but' hiccup 'don't want' hiccup 'to do?' He asked curiously, before shoving the veggie and bacon half of his everything bagel in his mouth, and re-puffing his cheeks.

Benny was curious EVERY TIME Cas did that how he didn't manage to choke himself, but by what Sam, Dean, Chuck, and even Gabriel had all said…Cas had been doing that since he was able to eat without being spoon-fed and he'd yet to choke himself, so the little angel-named chipmunk had to know SOMETHING that most people did not. 'You know that I'm a vampire, right? Not Supernatural-like, but still a vamp.' Benny whispered.

Cas simply nodded. Dean knew for obvious reasons, Chuck, Sam, Cas, and Gabe were all told at different points, and Liz' side of the family were the only ones who knew…outside of what was left of Benny's old nest but without the Old Man, Sorento, OR Quentin…they'd scattered to find new nests. 'And, you also know that my blood has certain healing qualities, correct?' Benny whispered.

Cas nodded again. 'Even though the damage isn't lethal, parts of it are probably going to take MONTHS to recover from…and I want to use my blood to heal him, but if I do that…I run the risk of drawing government attention and they wouldn't want to admit to my existence so much as BURY it.' Benny whispered.

Cas stuffed the pizza half of his bagel in his mouth and re-puffed his cheeks before tilting his head curiously. 'It's happened before is the bad thing, not with me, but an entire other nest led by a female vampire named Lenore. They fed on cattle blood and…' Benny began before shaking his head 'if a human were seriously injured near their nest, they would help…but one day, one of them got caught by some government official using their blood to heal a human…and I never heard from ANYBODY from that nest, again.' He whispered.

It took a minute for Cas to respond. 'How' hiccup 'do you' hiccup 'know' hiccup 'about' hiccup 'this…about' hiccup 'what happened' hiccup 'to this other' hiccup 'nest?' He asked curiously.

Benny lowered his head. 'Eli.' He said sadly.

'Who-' hiccup 'who-' hiccup 'who's' hiccup 'Eli?' Cas asked curiously.

'Even though we were never part of the same nest and I was a hundred and fifty years older than him, we kept in contact a lot…I started thinking of him as sort of a little brother…probably because we looked so much alike. I think…I think if I had wanted to continue living in a nest after killing the Old Man, I would've headed to Montana where their home nest was.' Benny whispered.

'How do you' hiccup 'know' hiccup 'that something' hiccup 'happened?' Cas asked curiously. 'How do' hiccup 'you know' hiccup 'that' hiccup 'they didn't' hiccup 'just go into' hiccup 'hiding?' Cas continued.

'Because, Eli and I had a coded system…one that I'd taught him that I'd learnt from my père, but I also know he'd taught it to the rest of Lenore's nest…if ANY ONE of them had still been able to, they would've responded.' Benny explained.

'So what do you' hiccup 'damn it' hiccup 'what do you' hiccup 'want me to' hiccup 'do? This' hiccup 'is Canada' hiccup 'I don't have' hiccup 'contacts' hiccup 'here like' hiccup 'I do in' hiccup 'San Fran-' hiccup 'San Fran-' hiccup 'San' hiccup 'fuck' hiccup 'San' hiccup 'Frisco'. Cas said frustrated.

'Honestly, Cas…I'm willing to take the risk of doing this, even knowing what COULD happen. I can draw my own blood…I've done it before, but I need what would be the equivalent of a blood bag full…and I don't think I could…do that, by myself. The fact that I don't have the needle, IV, or a bag to do it with puts the entire idea on the shelf, because I don't have the required equipment.' Benny said honestly. He didn't add that the reason he didn't think he'd be able to draw that amount of blood was simply because there would be a point to where his mind would be SCREAMING at him to stop.

Cas shrugged. 'You would' hiccup 'need' hiccup 'a different IV' hiccup 'and' hiccup 'needle' hiccup 'then what' hiccup 'Dean's' hiccup 'already got' hiccup 'in his arm' hiccup 'for yourself…' he hiccupped before shaking his head quickly 'I can' hiccup 'make a' hiccup 'make-' hiccup 'makeshift' hiccup 'bag. And then,' hiccup 'we could' hiccup 'just use' hiccup 'the IV and' hiccup 'needle that' hiccup 'Dean already' hiccup 'has in his arm' hiccup 'for himself.' He said thoughtfully. 'I should' hiccup 'be able to' hiccup 'procure' hiccup 'what you' hiccup 'need but' hiccup 'it'll take' hiccup 'me a little' hiccup 'bit to' hiccup 'find it' hiccup 'here.' He added. 'Please, somebody shoot me!' He thought to himself, frustrated by his continuing hiccups.

'And, maybe look for a hiccup cure while you're at it.' Benny suggested, not surprised when Cas immediately started nodding and hiccuping.

xXxXx

Benny had been impressed watching Cas make a makeshift blood bag, but of course…as a police officer, Cas had basic EMT skills. But, as he watched as the his own blood began to flow slowly into the bag, Benny figured he should go ahead and tell Cas why this could end up being a bad idea…in a more immediate manner. 'Cas, there is one other thing you should know.' He said carefully, not watching the IV line but Cas.

'Huh?' Cas asked curiously.

'After this is over…once the bag is set up for Dean…I'm going to need to feed, it won't be an option.' Benny said reluctantly.

Cas who had been steadily watching the IV line and the makeshift bag to make sure there was no problems, his eyes snapped up to meet Benny. 'Well, you can't feed from ME!' Cas' voice rose a couple octaves.

'Well, Dean isn't going to be an option…or else, this whole process will have been a complete waste of a risk.' Benny said honestly. 'And, I'm not asking Sam!' He added.

'But - but -' Cas said nervously. 'I - I - I have HIV. You can't drink from me!' He whispered but his voice was still stressing the words.

'Castiel, I'm a vampire…we can't contract human viruses…even one like that.' Benny said seriously. Oddly, that statement combined with what Cas was doing for him, it made him wonder about -

Cas squirmed as much as he could without jarring the bag he was holding. 'I have time to consider this, right?' Cas asked nervously.

'Yes.' Benny said immediately.

A minute or two passed before Benny thought to ask a new question. 'Cas, I know that your mothers name is Naomi...but outside of the joke about Chuck since the character based on him in Supernatural is supposed to eventually be revealed to be God…but since he's too young to even be YOUR father and you're the youngest Novak…who is your father?' Benny asked curiously.

Cas shrugged. 'I have no idea. I know he's a former FBI agent - now, retired. And, that aside of Michael and Gadreel…none of us kids have anything to do with him. And, I honestly don't know WHY Gadreel does when our father had him put in a federal prison when he was seventeen…and Gadreel is almost forty.' He explained.

'What did he do?' Benny asked curiously.

Cas shook his head. 'Nothing, absolutely fucking NOTHING! But, our father used his contacts to drudge up some bullshit and…yeah, Gadreel is doing life in a super-max facility.' He explained disgusted.

'Sounds like your father is an absolute asshole.' Benny admitted.

'Naomi isn't any better.' Cas admitted.

'But, at least she didn't -' Benny began.

'No, but anyone who didn't conform to her ideals…she would put through the wringer and take our inheritance. Mmm, Michael didn't have to worry about her because of his close connection to our father…most of the rest of us lost our inheritance…except for Gabriel who was the only one of us who fought her and actually WON…the difference was that since he'd already started acting in Dr. Sexy…he didn't even need it. So, what he did was to put it into an inheritance of his own in case I ever have a kid. I guess he wants to make sure the kid thinks of Gabriel as their favorite uncle.' Cas explained.

Benny shook his head in disbelief. 'Do you even want kids?' He asked curiously.

'No. I want to start my own bee sanctuary. But, I know from listening to Sam about Jess or Eileen…even on occasion, Lucifer…that HE DOES want kids. I think once we get further in our relationship, we'll probably look into adoption. I know Gabriel has no desire to have kids of his own since he's still to much of a kid himself. Of course, he also has an inheritance set up in case Dean ever gets Ben back…but he hasn't told Dean about it…because Dean could have honestly done that himself, but Gabriel only thought it was fair if he was doing that for one Winchester's kids, he might as well for the other…at least, since I'm best friends with Dean and soulmates with Sam. Despite everything else shitty about the Novak family…the one thing I know with all my heart, mind, and soul is that Gabriel loves me.' Cas admitted.

'Don't feel bad about not wanting kids, I've ended up with too many in life…I honestly don't want any more. I think if Dean wanted one though, I'd look into it. But, I don't really think he does either after that disaster with Ben.' Benny admitted.

'It's funny, isn't it? His sons name is Benjamin but he goes by Ben and his soulmates name is Benjamin but you go by Benny.' Cas said with a smirk.

'Yeah, it actually is funny.' Benny said with a laugh.

xXxXx

Benny watched the blood bag and the IV line as the blood began to slowly flow into Dean's veins through his arm.

Cas watched the IV line before his attention was drawn to Benny as he started to visibly tremble, it was apparent that Benny was gritting his teeth and clenching his fists. 'Are you SURE it would be safe for you to drink my blood?' Cas asked hesitantly.

'Yes.' Benny gritted out the word.

'O-okay.' Cas said hesitantly. 'I guess…it's okay.' He added nervously.

Benny wondered briefly if he should mention the side-effect to Cas, but that ended up being a VERY brief thought. He'd given to much damn blood to be thinking entirely coherently, at the moment…and it was a WORSE hunger - THIRST - then when he'd fed off Dean for the first time.

Between one second and the next, Benny had Cas pined up against the wall, with his fangs sunk deep into the left side of Cas' neck. The choked moan that Cas gave off - not sure why he was finding this so damn arousing - had Benny jamming his left wrist into Cas' mouth as a gag of sorts, not realizing the danger/stupidity in THAT decision until he felt Cas' teeth clamp down on his wrist and it was only a moment later that Cas' body was bowing against his own. Benny jerked back like he'd been stung and he was across the room, backed into a corner with his hands on the top of his head, his fingers interlaced together, his eyes were brimming with tears.

Cas was using the wall behind him just to stay standing, he felt…off. 'What was that, Benny?' He asked, out of breath.

'Shit!' Benny thought to himself as he saw the hint of blood on Cas' teeth. 'I'm sorry, Cas…I'm so, so sorry, Cas.' He said through the tears that had begun to run down his face.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Author's Note: Honestly, this is probably the longest chapter of the story so far, but with what happened…it need to be.

Reviews/Comments/Constructive Criticism welcome!

Flames will be used to roast marshmallows and then promptly deleted!