Kou had asked me if I wanted to run an errand with her, but I had to decline since Kaori and Koji were coming home for dinner. Not that I was particularly excited. I've said it before, but I'll say it again: Koji and I don't get along. My mother was usually the referee between us. She tried her best to remain neutral, but most of the time she ended up taking my side. Koji didn't visit as much since he left for college, which has taken a weight off my shoulders. Kaori comes home a few times a month. I look forward to seeing her every time.
"I'm home," I called as I took off my shoes.
Mom called to me from the kitchen, "Go get changed so you can help me cook." She probably had dinner started already.
I hurried upstairs to change, not wanting to waste any more time. I was back in the kitchen within a minute.
Mom looked up at me as I entered the room, "How was your day?"
I shrugged, "Alright. I put up some posters around the school. Hopefully we'll get another member."
"So the boys can swim the relay, right?"
"Yeah."
She handed me a bowl of dough, "Your father told me you helped him with that design. He sent it in and is waiting to hear back."
I figured my father told her because he was proud of me. He didn't know I wasn't interested in coaster design; mom had kept it from him. I'm lucky to have someone who's there for me and will be happy with whatever I choose.
"Yeah," murmured, looking down at the dough I was kneading.
"He just wants what's best for you. You should tell him how you feel." She put a hand on my arm and gave me a reassuring smile, "I'll be right there with you when you do."
"I still don't know what I want to do. When I figure it out, I'll tell him."
She smiled again, grabbing me into a side hug with the hand that wasn't holding a knife. Sometimes I think of the what ifs, but I try not to dwell on them too much. It won't change the past, and things could be much worse.
I was pulled out of my thoughts when a bang echoed through the house.
"I'm home!" Koji called from the front door. My heart dropped just from the sound of his voice. I thought Kaori would be the first to arrive since Koji was known for his tardiness.
"Hello Koji," mom greeted as he entered the kitchen.
"Hey, ma," he gave a mock salute, then glanced at me over his shoulder. "Is ma giving you tips on how not to ruin a meal?" he sniggered, running a hand through his hair.
"I've been cooking almost every day—not that you would know," I pounded the dough probably a little harder than necessary. Koji let out a disgusted sigh before he left the kitchen to go find our father. I let out the breath I was holding when he disappeared from sight.
.oOo.
Dinner was on the table when Kaori arrived. Koji grumbled something about finally getting to the main event, and I felt my stomach clench. It would just get worse from here.
"How's college, Kaori?" mom asked.
"It's incredible! I actually met this really cute guy, and now we're dating. You guys have to meet him!" she beamed.
"He'd better not keep you from your studies," my father added, picking up his chopsticks.
"He actually helps me study! It's a big help."
"That's great, Kaori. We'll have to have him over for dinner one night, right darling?" mom eyed my father pointedly. After a moment's pause, he nodded and turned back to Kaori.
"I'll let him know," Kaori said, and then she nudged me with her elbow. How's everything in your life going, Riku?"
"Pretty well. I helped start a swim club at Iwatobi, so now I get to compete again, I smiled.
Koji smirked, "It'll be just like the good old days. But hopefully you won't fall in love with one of the swimmers only for him to move away and never speak to you again." I watched as he scratched the back of his head in mock guilt, "Sorry to bring up something so painful, but I just don't want my little sister to get hurt again."
I didn't offer a response; instead looking down at my food as my father began to talk about changes in the new coaster design—the one I helped create last night. He couldn't stop talking about how proud he was of me. Father rarely said those words these days—he probably saw it as a way to encourage me to follow in his footsteps.
.oOo.
Koji's words played through my mind like a broken record. I tossed and turned all night, unable to quiet my thoughts. It brought back all the emotions I fought to keep hidden. Koji always knew how to hurt me. It's like he enjoyed pushing my buttons. I knew that in the morning I would be even more tired than usual. I was never a morning person, and not getting enough sleep made me feel more sluggish than normal. But nevertheless, I dragged myself out of bed and got ready for school.
.oOo.
"Sorry to make you guys wait. I didn't sleep well," I yawned, waving weakly to Makoto and Haru.
"Is everything okay?" Makoto asked, eyeing the obvious dark circles under my eyes.
"Yeah," I shrugged. "My brother and sister came home for dinner last night, so I got a late start to my homework. I tried to excuse myself from the table after I finished, but you know how my dad is," I lied.
Then I tried changing the subject, "So, do you think Nagisa convinced Ryuugazaki to join?"
"I'm not sure," Makoto said, "But I hope we do get another member so we can enter the relay." I hoped so too, but I had a feeling Haru would be the deciding factor, and I didn't think we had much of a chance at convincing him.
For the first half of the day, I doodled more than paid attention. Koji's words were still bothering me. Our father never realized Koji's jabs were more than just light teasing. He always thought his "concern" for me was genuine. At least Kaori and I finally started getting along when she got to high school. The bell rang—it was finally time for lunch. When I looked up from my desk, everything was hazy.
Nagisa brought my attention back into the real world when he burst into the room to tell us how it went with Ryuugazaki. I pushed myself out of my seat to look over Nagisa's shoulder—it looked like Haru was going to draw another poster for the club.
"It didn't work. I think he hates the water," Nagisa hung his head.
"Then we don't need him in our club. Don't let him in the pool," Haru didn't even look up from his paper.
"Keep your voice down. You can't let anyone hear you talk like that," Nagisa shushed him. "That kind of attitude is a real turn-off for people who might want to join." He began immediately listing off other options. Haru's face became more and more horrified with every word. As soon as Nagisa mentioned the idea of lifting weights and jogging in the winter, Haru turned away.
"Then we might just have to go with our contingency plan, the one featuring Ama-chan, " Nagisa stroked his chin, lips splitting into a devilish grin.
"That's never going to happen. You heard what she said," Makoto reminded him.
"Then let's reverse it!" Nagisa cried, lighting up at the thought he'd just had. I sighed—this could only go badly.
"Reverse it?" Makoto asked as Nagisa slammed his hands on Haru's desk.
"Yeah! What if when someone joins, they get to strip down for her!"
"That's a ridiculous idea. Nobody's gonna wanna do that." I rolled my eyes as Haru went to write that down.
"Stop, don't write that crap down!" Makoto grabbed Haru's hand. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Amakata-sensei approaching us.
"You know I can hear you, right?" she smiled, but her eyes were murky. I shivered; she was intimidating even with that smile.
"We're sorry!" we cried in unison. I apologized too, even though I had nothing to do with it. Amakata-sensei returned to her desk, leaving the four of us in silence. Then Nagisa sent a glance my way.
"Not happening."
.oOo.
Finally, the school day ended. I let out a sigh of relief—I just wanted to lock myself in my room and be alone with my thoughts. I couldn't believe Rin was affecting me so much since he came back. It was years since I've been hurt this badly. I felt my head drop as I began walking out of the school.
"Hey Riku!" Kou called, running up to me.
I stopped, "Hey Kou, what's up?"
"Do you wanna run an errand with me?"
"Didn't you just run an errand yesterday?"
"Uh...yeah," Kou scratched her head. "Well my mom texted me asking if I could pick up some food. I figured you could come help me and we could spend some time together," she smiled.
It would be nice to spend some time with Kou outside of the club. I would have considered helping her bring groceries home, but I wasn't ready to see Ms. Matsuoka yet.
"Sure, lead the way."
I sent a quick text to my mom. I just said I was going out with a friend. I didn't want to tell her it was Kou, or that she went to Iwatobi and was also the manager of the swim club. She would have so many questions.
Kou's eyes lit up, grabbing my sleeve and tugging me along. She said something about taking the train, but I didn't think much of it; at least, until we got off the train. We made small talk as we walked. Things looked slightly familiar, but I couldn't place the feeling. But when I got a glimpse of Samezuka Academy, I stopped in my tracks.
"Kou."
This was the last place that I wanted to be. Kou tricked me.
"I knew you wouldn't come if I told you where we were going," she gave me an apologetic grin. "Since we don't have access to an indoor pool, I thought we could talk to Rin about holding a joint practice."
"I have no interest in seeing or talking to him," I said.
"Not even if it means having a chance to swim in an indoor pool?"
This was the last place I wanted to be. It was nice that she was going to ask for a joint practice indoor before the season started, but she didn't have to drag me along with her. With what happened last night, being here felt like way too much right now. Kou was looking at me, expecting an answer. I let out a groan; it was too late for me to turn back.
"I'll come with you, but I'm not talking to him," I sighed. Kou beamed as she led me to Rin's dorm. I followed her, albeit reluctantly.
I got more nervous with every passing step. I pulled out my phone to text Yukari. I needed someone else to talk to. She could get me through this.
Me: I'm at Rin's school with Kou. (–_–)
Yukari: Why?! Are you going to confront him?
Me: No, Kou wants to ask him if we can schedule a joint practice.
Kou turned to me. We were there. She didn't knock on his door until I was leaning against the wall next to it. I hoped Rin would stand in his room instead of the doorway. He didn't need to know I was here.
Yukari: So why did you go with her then?!
"Hey big bro! You didn't answer your phone, so I thought coming here would be the next best option," Kou spoke airily, trying to make this seem like a spur of the moment visit. My eyes were glued to my phone—I wanted to look uninterested as possible in case he did end up seeing me.
Me: Kou tricked me into coming.
"What is it Gou?" Rin asked, annoyed. Just then, my phone buzzed. I cringed—that would get his attention.
"Riku?" surprisingly, his voice wasn't hostile, but he didn't give Kou a chance to answer. I looked over to see Rin just outside the open door in a tank top and sweatpants. I groaned internally. Why did he have to be so hot?!
"Hi," I said curtly, looking down at Yukari's message.
Yukari: Are you gonna talk to him?
"Why are you here?" he asked me. I glanced at Kou before replying.
"Kou wanted someone to keep her company, and I was the only one available," I went back to my phone.
Me: I wasn't going to, but when you texted me...I had no choice but to say something. T_T
"I did this for Kou, not you," my voice was icy. I wasn't sure if Rin was shocked or annoyed at my words.
"Anyway, I wanted to ask if you could talk to the swim captain about holding a joint practice," Kou changed the subject. She probably didn't want me to start a fight. It could also hurt our chances of having a joint practice—even though I had a feeling Rin would say no.
"Really, Gou?" he let out an exasperated sigh, running a hand through his hair. "No, I have some things to do before practice."
He shut the door.
I pushed myself off the wall and linked arms with Kou, who looked like she had a plan, "Where are we going next?" I asked.
"The pool," she hummed.
I had a feeling Kou was going to talk to the swim captain herself. When we entered the pool, the captain's eyes lit up. It wasn't hard to see that Captain Mikoshiba had a crush on Kou. He brought us into the hall so we could talk privately.
I was quiet as Kou explained what she had in mind. At first, I thought Mikoshiba was going to say no, his expression stern. But then he grabbed Kou's hands with a grin, agreeing that it would be a great idea.
Then Mikoshiba turned to me, "Are you a manager too?"
"No, I'm on the swim team," I rolled my eyes. Everyone seemed to assume that.
"Awesome! We don't have a girls locker room since we're an all-boys school, so you'll have to change in one of the school bathrooms," Mikoshiba held out his fist for me to bump.
"That's fine. I'm just happy I get to swim competitively again," I returned the gesture. Mikoshiba's attention was captured by the members filing onto the pool deck. I grabbed the fabric of Kou's jacket and tugged. She turned to me with a question on her lips, but I gave her a silent "we should leave" look because I didn't want to run into Rin; especially since Kou went over his head. Kou turned back to Mikoshiba to confirm the date for the joint practice, which was in two days' time. Great. Not that we were having any luck with getting a new member, but now we had a time limit.
Hopefully we could find someone by then.