Chapter Seven: Falling

POV: John-117

Date: 2530

Reference: During Chapter 6 of Chipped

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Tawny was in the middle of a throng of soldiers, dancing with Second Lieutenant Davidson. Her eyes were bright and her movements fluid, if a little unpracticed. I could tell she didn't dance much, but Lieutenant Davidson did.

He twirled her around as they talked with high spirits. Tawny, in the sweatpants and t-shirt provided by the UNSC, looked out of place. Most of the soldiers were in civilian clothes, but they were more collared button-up shirts and somewhat dressy slacks.

Tawny didn't seem to care. She was thoroughly enjoying herself.

I hadn't wanted to come to the event, but watching her have fun was entertaining in its own way. This was a tolerable way to pass the time.

Warrant Officer Jeffery Phong walked up and said something to Davidson. The remark drew a notably less amicable response from the marine.

As they threw verbal javelins at each other, Tawny's shoulders tensed fractionally. They grew tighter with each remark until she slipped away from the soldiers and wove through the mass towards me.

I'd stayed by the door, on the wall. I didn't like the idea of being in the middle of the crowd.

Tawny walked up to me, backlit by the massive green hologram in the middle of the room, and asked, "Would it- would it be too much to ask for a dance?"

I was genuinely caught by surprise.

I didn't want to dance, no, but with her? Her hands in mine, her breezy green eyes on me.

I wouldn't say no to that.

But I must have stayed silent for too long, since Tawny smiled a bit and said, "Thought so."

There goes that opportunity.

"I've never been one for crowds, u-unless they're all happy. Then it's great." She let out a little breath. "Overwhelming, but great. When there's tension, though, I can't stand it."

I had to agree; I couldn't understand anyone who was drawn to crowds of people. People like Kurt, or even Fred. I would never comprehend it.

"Wanna go back?" Tawny asked, leaning against the wall beside me.

I couldn't tell if she was asking purely for my benefit or not, but I did want to escape the noise. So I nodded once.

"Good, because I was getting tired. This many people is exhausting."

Despite her claims of exhaustion, her body wasn't tired. Was she lying?

"You'll miss the gift exchange," I pointed out.

"Oh, I'm not getting any gifts," she said dismissively. "I-I would be giving a few, but I don't have supplies."

I conceded. "Fair enough."

The conversation ended there. I didn't have anything to say, and Tawny didn't seem to either.

I took a minute to watch her from the corner of my eye. Her skin was flushed from dancing and there was a bounce in her step, but her eyes were listless. She was tired but she was good at hiding it.

There was a strange feeling in my chest when I watched her. It had gotten stronger when she was dancing. I liked seeing her like that; happy and carefree.

I wanted to hear her voice again.

"I've never acknowledged Christmas," I said.

She blinked. "Really? Never?"

I could feel her eyes on me so I didn't look at her. "It wasn't ever important."

"'Wasn't'?" she asked with a note in her voice. "Past tense?"

"Past tense."

She looked down in thought. "But you didn't do much celebrating in the rec room."

Her head shot up.

"Wanna celebrate in my room? I-I can't offer much, but they usually televise the celebrations on Earth. We could watch those."

She was looking up at me with bright hope in her eyes. They were vivid through my HUD, green like lush vegetation. They were full of life.

I would get to spend more time with her if we went to her room together. I was risking reprimand but it seemed worth it.

"That sounds a lot better than the party," I said.

A smile lit up her face. "It does, doesn't it?"

There was a happy cadence in her movements when she took the lead through the halls. She was getting better at navigating the ship on her own; she wouldn't need me for long.

Dr. Halsey would make sure I stayed with her, but it would be redundant. She didn't need help anymore.

The hallway outside her room was empty when we walked in. Her room was dim.

I stood at the foot of her bed while she set the holotank up. To my right was her desk; I could see her purse and a datapad in the corner.

Tawny sat down on the foot of the bed, less than a foot away from me, and said, "You could take your armor off, if you wanted."

The thought was kind, but, "I can't take it off without a machine."

"Oh." She blinked. "Y-you can still sit down. It's just the floor but…"

She'd given permission, so I settled on the floor beside her. She was taller than me from her perch on the bed. Backlit by the dim lights and her holotank, she looked remarkable.

Divine, I thought.

I looked away from her and pulled my helmet off. "What's the point of televising the festivities?"

"For this, I guess," she shrugged and faced the hologram and the light hit her face at a flattering angle. "People who want to be festive with-without dealing with other people."

"It's melancholy, don't you think?"

But watching the hologram, it didn't seem melancholy. The civilians were happy and carefree and safe, and it drew some shallow part of me in.

"I guess," she said. "I like it, though. I-I've always wanted to go to Earth."

"Why is that?"

"Eridanus II is nice, don't get me wrong, but it gets old after a while." She shrugged but the nonchalance looked forced. "I knew everyone there was to know, an-and some people had skeletons I'd rather have stayed in the closet."

"Like what?" I looked up to study her.

"Just...weird things," she eventually said. "One man was having several affairs, another was secretly funding a drug ring using the money she got as superintendent of the school system."

Drug rings were often found giving money to the Insurrection, I remembered. It was something they'd taught us growing up.

"A-and then there was Johnny," Tawny murmured.

My heart dropped and my head shot up. "Who?"

She looked at me with concern in her eyes. "Johnny. He-he was a kid I knew at Facility One-Nineteen. My parents were friends with his parents..."

There was something familiar about this, I knew. My mind jumped to conclusions that I couldn't voice aloud.

"He, um...he died when he was eight," Tawny said. "I don't remember him much, I-I was only six when it happened. His parents went crazy; they couldn't take it. Every time I was around them all I could feel was their pain. It was...I couldn't bear it."

Her voice had gone quiet and there were tears in her eyes.

"They eventually stopped leaving their house. I haven't heard from them in years." Pain flashed through her eyes. "They're...they're probably dead now, anyways, since Eridanus got glassed."

When she didn't say anything else I asked, "Are those tears for Johnny or his parents?"

"His parents. I-I didn't want him to die, but we weren't really friends." She scrubbed at her eyes with the back of her hand. "He was- he was kind of a bully. He didn't like when people called him Johnny. He said he was too big for it. I didn't know that, a-and he taught me the hard way."

The familiar feeling was back, and so were the suspicions. I refused to get my hopes up but it wasn't impossible.

"He calmed down a few years before-" Tawny cleared her throat and winced- "before he died. But-but then he started having medical issues and didn't really come to school much."

Her eyes lowered.

"One day he just...had a seizure, and that was it. No one really noticed for a few days."

She laughed but it wasn't a happy one. It was quiet and sad.

"He'd probably be about your age, right now," she said. "I feel so sorry for his parents."

So did I.

oOOOo

Tawny was asleep. She was asleep on me, resting back against my chest. Her breath had slowed, her body was limp.

I didn't want to wake her up. She was tired, and she looked comfortable. Her body seemed to meld with my armor, pressing into it without being hurt by the hard angles.

She was so soft. For a moment I wished I was able to take my armor off and feel her hair, her skin, with my fingers.

Everything about her looked delicate and tender.

I resigned myself to watch the festivities on the holotank while she slept. It was somewhat entertaining to watch; I was unfamiliar with the unrestrained joy of the civilians in the hologram, but I didn't dislike it.

I realized that this is what I fought for. For these civilians, for their safety to have fun without looking over their shoulders.

That was my job. I would protect civilians like this everywhere, across the galaxy. Starting with the one in my arms.

oOOOo

I woke up with Tawny in my arms. She looked at peace, still asleep, pressed against me.

But I shouldn't - couldn't - let this desire distract me from my duty. It would be wrong of me. So many people depended on me, and I couldn't afford a distraction like this.

I slid my right arm under Tawny's legs - my left arm was already under her back - and held her to myself. Careful to keep her safe; this armor would crush her accidentally.

I pushed myself up and looked down at her for a moment. Taking in her beauty in the low light.

Her eyes flickered partially open. They took me in hazily, then closed again. She burrowed into me with a sleepy hum.

I would not let my selfish desires take over me.

But I desperately wanted to stay there forever, holding her in my arms.

I laid Tawny down on her bed and pulled the blanket up to her shoulders. A tiny whimper left her lips, tugging viciously at my heart.

I couldn't do this.

Shaking my head, I reached desperately for my helmet and pulled it on. Pushed myself out of Tawny's room, a haven that I couldn't afford to get used to.

I barely acknowledged Warrant Officer Phong when I walked out of the doorway and down the hall. I needed a distraction. I needed to hit the gym.

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Author's Note: Here ya go! And in case I haven't said it yet, John Is Babie

Love y'all!