Hey guys!
So, this took a slightly different turn than the one I expected but I couldn't get this idea out of my head, therefore here comes chapter 5!
I always knew I wanted to add Edmund and Lucy's lives in England from time to time and I feel like this is a good place to start and that it will be interesting to develop. Sorry for the angst but I promise that chapter 6 (which I've already planned) will be fluffy and really entertaining! Also, the plot is really going to start from there.
Disclaimer: Do not own anything.
Hope you guys like this! As of right now, I'm rotating my updates between this fic, "The Prince, The Girl, The Lion" and "Going The Long Distance" but the next chapters are all planned out so it shouldn't be long before the next update comes up!
Cheers for reading!
Chapter 5. "Home...and Home."
The week after their return to England was especially difficult.
Not only had they left their home but also, they were not four anymore. For, while in spirits the Pevensie siblings would always be together, the fact was that in reality, the crossroads of their lives took them to different places.
Now, the High King and the Gentle Queen of Narnia were blessed with a lifetime in their one true home. Meanwhile, the Just King and the Valiant Queen had been doomed to depart Narnia once again.
Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy had formed a bond based on the trials and tribulations they were forced to face. The war, their journey to Narnia, their lives as monarchs, they had made the foursome a certainly closer group of siblings than most but still, one might agree that it was the only way they could survive.
By working as a King.
The tales from the Golden Age all spoke of how the Kings and Queens of Old were equally important to each other and to the safekeeping of Narnia. Peter might have been the High King but each of them were as essential as the next, this partially accomplished by their different skills, their different strengths, their different priorities, and their different weaknesses. It had taken them a minute, learning how to work together, but once they learned they became the most accomplished leaders and diplomats of the region.
Sure, the Golden Age of Narnia had been reached because of its people, because of the battles won and because of the enemies defeated - all of this being a common effort - but still, it doesn't take much wit to recognize that without a good leader, a country is not fated to enjoy a peaceful situation for long.
Peter's decisiveness, Susan's intelligence, Edmund's wisdom and Lucy's empathy, those had been large culprits of Narnia's good fortune.
Unfortunately, good things were not meant to least.
With the four Pevensie's disappearance, not only had Narnia's stability crumbled but also, the siblings' dynamic had disrupted.
And now, after yet another journey in Narnia, their dynamic had been altered yet again. Now, the issues between them had been mended but at the same time, they had been split.
Edmund and Lucy would always be elated for their siblings and their opportunity to live in Narnia for good. Susan and Caspian deserved the chance to be together and Peter, he had never been as happy as when he had been in Narnia. After all, they had lived in Narnia for most of their lives, forming attachments, memories, experiences, that not even a century in England could erase. Their hearts, souls and minds belonged in Narnia and the two youngest Pevensie were quick to agree that they could not fault the others in staying Home.
The thing was, that their situation was uncertain. Edmund and Lucy, they did not know whether they were going back to Narnia at all. And if they did, they were not informed on when they were going back, and of whether they were going to see their siblings again.
During their last hours in Narnia, while the four siblings had said goodbye, both Edmund and Lucy were confident in the fact that their siblings were as heartbroken as they were.
But now, as they settled back into their lives in dreary England, they couldn't help but doubt.
It was regrettable, of course, but they couldn't really help themselves, and their situation couldn't be any worse. Suddenly, they were back in England, back in their lives as normal kids, back in the place in which they were supposed to listen and follow orders, as if adults knew better. Not only were they sans their two beloved siblings but also, they were back in school.
All in all, it wouldn't surprise anyone that their train ride to school was spent in complete silence.
Their schools being particularly strict when it came to extra-curricular outings, Lucy and Edmund hadn't been able to see one another until the first Saturday since the beginning of classes, when the older Pevensie went to pick up the younger and took her to the café a few blocks from their schools.
The walk there was relatively painful as rain seemed keen to pour down on them during the entire weekend, the wind managing to chill their bones regardless of the warm jackets they'd worn over their uniforms. Still, they were once together and, as of right then, their immediate future consisted of hours in which they would be able to speak of nothing but of Narnia.
Eagerly, Edmund and Lucy sat down by a table slightly apart from the others, the window to their left. They left their coats hanging from the back of their chairs and, as a waiter took their orders, Edmund requested two coffees for them with the cheerful tone of someone who expects to enjoy their next few hours.
So, when their coffees arrived and they had no option but to stare at each other in overwhelming silence, it seemed as if the irony of it all was laughing right at them.
There just was so much to say.
To an extent, they knew what the other was thinking and what they wanted to say to one another. And it would have been easy to speak, to confide in the other, if it wasn't for the possible pain implied in the subject.
Everything they wanted to say had the possibility of hurting and troubling the other. There was so much going on. The loss of their siblings, of Narnia, of Aslan, it was all so fresh and raw in their hearts, so present in their minds that they wanted to talk about nothing else. And, of course, who else could they talk to? Yet, that was precisely the issue?
How were they supposed to ask for comfort and support from the person going through the exact same thing? How could they ask the other to help with their pain, when they didn't think they could take anymore of it?
Suddenly, they found themselves facing the harsh reality that no one but the other would ever know what they were going through. For yes, Peter and Susan had also been separated from their siblings but they got to stay in Narnia.
Edmund and Lucy had to go back. Had to switch worlds again.
"Do you think it will stop? The pain?" Lucy finally asked, refraining from rolling her eyes as she felt the bewildered stares at the sight of her drinking black coffee. "I should have gotten hot chocolate or something. This is just ridiculous."
"Don't mind them sister," Edmund replied, glaring at the customers nearest to them before leaning forward and cracking a side smirk. "We had to come back to the land where it always rains while our brother and sister wear crowns and attend balls. If you want black coffee, you will have black coffee."
Lucy chuckled before lowering her eyes to her cup. "I wish we could be there."
"I know," Edmund nodded, sobering up instantly. He looked down at his cup with a dark gaze. "We should get to be home."
"Do you think our home is still here?" Lucy wondered, her voice dreamy as she gazed out of the window. Edmund followed her gaze, smiling against his will as he noticed how she seemed to be trying to find any spark, colour or tone that would make England slightly warmer or more magical.
More like home.
"I don't know." Edmund shrugged. "I suppose our mother and our house will remain our home in England. Honestly, I cannot help but doubt where exactly is my home."
At that, Lucy looked up with startled eyes. "Dear brother, you cannot possibly mean that Narnia isn't your home either!"
"Of course I don't mean that," Edmund scoffed. "But I just can't help but hate how fast they discarded us. I am King of Narnia and therefore, I will always respond to my people's needs but the moment the war was over and others could take over, you and I were sent back with a quick goodbye."
"You heard what Aslan said, Ed," Lucy replied softly, smiling as reassuring as she could in order to ease her brother. "When we're ready, we'll get the chance to stay too."
"How exactly will we be ready?" Edmund questioned with a quiet snort. "Far be it from me to argue with Aslan's plan but Lu, really, how is Peter ready and not the two of us? Our dear brother spent the last year in England fighting, only to then pick up a fight with Caspian only because our brother doesn't like to share the leadership-."
"I see what you mean, Ed, but Peter has since made amends," Lucy cut her brother off, her faith in her oldest sibling compelling her to defend him. "The man we left in Narnia was not the same man that went there with us in the first place."
Edmund looked at his sister for a long moment, his mouth slightly opened as if he wanted to argue her point. Then, he seemed to desist on it, instead choosing to lean back against the back of his chair and looked out of the window with a sigh. "I know. I think...I wish I could be him. I don't want to be here."
Lucy bit her lip as she studied her brother, taking in his blue uniform, his usual hat hiding his messy raven curls. His eyes were trained on the street just outside the window but still, Lucy could see the bags under his hazel eyes, his gaze squinting as he faced the white light of the gray sky above them, almost as if he hadn't seen enough light this last couple of days.
"That's not everything, though," Lucy stated, her eyes piercing his as he turned to face her again. "There's something else because you look horrible and you never look like this without a good enough reason."
"You're insulting me now, sister? How is it that your harsh words will make me answer?"
"Out with it, Edmund."
The Just King sighed. "I guess I keep trying to figure out why it is that the two of us always get cast aside. Peter and Susan - the legendary High King and Archer Queen - they always seem to be better esteemed. Maybe it is because we are the little ones and they are the oldest but I'm tired of watching from the sidelines while our brother and sister get to begin their happily-ever-after' crap before we do!"
"Edmund Pevensie!" Lucy exclaimed, bewildered by her brother's curse.
At Lucy's outburst, and the faces that turned towards them, Edmund lowered his head as he felt his cheeks and neck flushing rapidly. "Will you stop? What, you're taking Susan's motherly duties now?"
"No, I'm not, but you're the only brother I have left so I will not allow you to embarrass me!" Lucy whispered harshly, her eyes widening as she took in the words she uttered. For a split second, she prayed for her brother to have not heard her but then, she noticed how he froze. Utterly embarrassed, Lucy grimaced. "I'm sorry. I mean until we see Peter and Susan again. Aslan always does what's best for us. He'll take us back to Narnia and we will see Peter, Susan, Caspian and all of the others again. We will get to live our lives in Narnia, we have to get the same chance they did. We just have to be patient, Ed, I know we'll go back."
"You know I'm not the only one left, right?" Edmund replied instead, completely ignoring Lucy's rambling. He reached across the table and clutched Lucy's hand in his own. "They are still here. Even if they are not with us, they still love us, Lu."
"I know that," Lucy smiled before she bit her lip as she felt her eyes welling up. Laughing uncomfortably, she wiped her eyes irritably as she gazed outside to gain time.
"But?" Edmund cocked his head softly, his own insecurities forgotten as he studied his pained sister.
"But you are the only one who didn't leave me. I know we had no choice but to come back but Peter and Susan, they did have a choice. I would have never asked them to choose to leave Narnia for good only so we could be with them but still, there was no hesitation," Lucy shook her head, as if the very thoughts plaguing her mind were cause for her to feel endlessly guilty. "I keep remembering all the times Peter was our overprotective brother, and how we teased them for it...and part of me, as much as I hate it and even the thought of it brings me so much pain...a part of me cannot help but doubt whether all of that was real."
Edmund allowed her a few minutes to gather herself before he straightened, his own eyes burdened as they took his little sister's grief. "Lu. Look at me."
She hesitated but Lucy faced him, ignoring the lone tears that rolled down her cheeks. It was for nothing that she had been named as the Valiant Queen.
Edmund smiled in support before brushing those tears away. "As much as I would have rather lived without Peter's overprotective syndrome, I don't think that he is that good of an actor. He is as overprotective because he means it, regrettably."
Lucy choked out a laugh. "He is rather annoying."
Edmund smirked. "Look, I think we should make a pact. What's happened is in the past and we cannot change it. Right now, we just have to make sure we survive our time here before we go back. Then, we will be able to scream at our beloved siblings but we won't be able to do so if we are not sane...or mostly sane, that is. Do you agree?"
Lucy giggled before nodding in mock seriousness. "Of course. Carry on, Your Majesty."
Edmund bowed his head.
"We need to let go of all that. We're back and they are gone and until further notice, this is our new reality. If we think of what it could have been, we will lose it." The older Pevensie then sobered up and gazed at Lucy thoughtfully. "We need to stick together. Lu, you are the person with the most unwavering faith. If you cannot make it here then I don't know who can. We need to hold onto each other until we go back home, Lu, and I don't think we can allow our strength to waver, not even for a second."
"So we fight together," Lucy mused before sticking her hand for Edmund to shake. "It wouldn't be the first time, dear brother."
"Nor the last," Edmund replied as he shook her hand.
The rest of their afternoon was spent on a happier note, as they reminisced on their time in Narnia both while they fought the Telmarines and during the Golden Age. They discussed balls, wars and trips across the country that both of them knew they'd discussed before but now, it was under a new light. Now, the group in which they could place their complete trust had become shorter. There were only two left but those two had become closer because of the experiences that united them and because of the wars they had yet to fight in order to fight. So, they talked about the same things they'd talked about before, but with a new confidence, for they had never trusted in anyone like they trusted in the other.
It wasn't until Edmund dropped Lucy at the front gates of her school that the other topic of conversation was touched again.
"It wasn't that I didn't have a choice, Lu. I would have never left you."
That night, Lucy went to sleep with a light spirit for the first time in a week.