Battles of the Heart

Chapter 9

Bpov

I was so shocked with myself for the way I was acting. I had said goodbye to my best friend, the one person I had known and trusted my whole life, I had basically joined a whole other family full of strangers I had never met before, and I had just hopped into bed with a complete stranger and agreed to travel with him. Sure nothing but a weird kiss had happened after hopping into bed with him but I still didn't even know him. I definitely wanted to though. Thinking about him gave me butterflies and I couldn't wait for him to get back here.

Bella. Grow up! Look at you, look at him. LOOK AT HIS FAMILY! You don't belong here. You don't fit in with them and you never will. Get real.

The disappointment I felt when I had thoughts like that was unreal. Peter made me feel like I really did fit in with them and that they really wanted me around. But if my own mother didn't even want me then why would they?

They wouldn't, idiot. They're bored on the road and they're doing it all to mess with you.

I decided then and there that listening to that little voice in my head wouldn't be the best thing to do from here on out, especially considering Peter had managed to get someone to pick up my car and get it ready for shipping already. Almost like it was planned all along. This is what I liked about them. They were no nonsense, always ready and there was always a plan in place. They were like a bunch of beautiful boy scouts who spent all their time indoors so were really pale.

Seriously what's up with that? Ford is right, they're weirdos.

Seriously, that voice wanted to stop and go away otherwise I might start taking some pills to make it go night night.

Understood Captain, going dark.

Rolling my eyes at myself, I tried to concentrate on the TV I was supposedly watching but just couldn't. I turned and caught Peter and Charlotte having some sort of silent, wordless conversation. When he caught me looking he smiled and involved me.

"Bella, how long was this trip originally meant to last? Only, we would love if you could be with us on the ranch during the season that the kids all come to pick their own pumpkins. It's beautiful out there! All the colours changing and the air smells different. It's magical. What do you think?"

He's asking you to be free labour to help them with their ranch and pumpkin patch. Say no Bella. You work for money or not at all!

Shut. Up.

"Well that sounds perfect! I wasn't planning to be away that long, but maybe I could lengthen my trip to spend a bit of time on your ranch before I head home. I've never really worked with horses or pumpkins but I'm great with kids and willing to learn."

Idiot. You sound like a desperate fool. 'Ohhh love me, love me! Nobody else can understand me like you!' Ugh. Pathetic.

"We would love to have you for as long as you want to be there. There's plenty of room in the houses and plenty to do there if you really mean it?" Charlotte was beaming from ear to ear. She really looked happy for me to be there. Not like she wanted free labour at all.

See? Suck it!

You really must stop talking to yourself. People might start to realise why everyone in your life leaves you.

Well that was a depressing thought. I smiled through it and told her of course I wanted to be there. She squealed and started reeling off plans to Peter to make the houses more suitable for me as if they lived in houses with no plumbing or electricity. As long as there was a tub, a bed and a light to read by, I was golden. I didn't need all the latest tech or equipment, I was happy with what I had. And all I had at home was a room above a garage, where Helen, Trafford's mom, kept all their old paint cans and whatnot. There was a small bed, a desk to work at and a mini fridge with a camping stove. I had to go over to the main house to shower and poop. I was really looking forward to getting away from there but with Helen charging me rent to live there I couldn't afford to save up for my trip AND a place of my own. My mind started wandering back to when Jasper would be back with my stuff so I could shower and get into some fresh clothes. After driving all morning and then trekking all over Fort Sumter the day before I was starting to feel like the clothes were wearing me. Finally the door opened and revealed Jasper, but the smile that had appeared on my face disappeared just a quick when I saw how angry he looked. And that he was without luggage. He walked in, slammed the door and threw a small envelope at me.

Sky & Aaron

I knew that messy scrawl. This was Trafford's writing.

Oh god. Oh no, what's he done now? What have I done? Have I pushed him away? My brother? My oldest friend? What have I done?

Oh shut up, he deserved it. He never treated you right. Surely you can see that I was right about him now? Which means I'm right about everything.

Oh yeah, like you were right about the time that Jacob boy that hangs out with Leah wanted you. Oh wait no. No you weren't were you? Made me look a damn fool.

That shut the voice up. Jasper was looking at me funny and I realised I was talking to myself just a little too long without doing anything else to hide the fact that that's what I was doing. I started to open the letter and read the contents.

Sorry guys, I never wanted things to go this way

but Bella has pushed me to my limit by

entertaining those freaks. I wish I hadn't brought

them into our lives. I have taken Bella's stuff with

me back home. That way she has no choice but to

follow me, allowing you two to come back too.

Forgive me, Trafford.

"HE DID WHAT?! THAT SNEAKY LITTLE NO GOOD FUCKIN' SNAKE!" Wow. Did that really come from me? My throat hurt a little after shouting like that. Is he serious? He had really stolen all my stuff in an attempt to make me go back home? Peter held his hand out and I gave him the letter. He seemed to read it in a second and Charlotte read it over his shoulder. I could have sworn they were so mad that I saw their eyes get darker.

I told you they were weird.

Ignoring the voice again I started to panic. What was I going to do? It had worked. He'd managed to ruin my trip and make me leave early and follow him home. I couldn't afford to buy more clothes and there was no way I could just carry on wearing what I had on. Tears had started to form, blurring my vision a little when Charlotte stood in front of me and held my face in her hands.

"Sugar, don't you worry about any of that right now. You go and get a shower, do a bit of relaxin' and you can wear some of my clothes until we can figure out something else later on. Is that okay?" I could have cried at how nice she was being.

See? Nice! Not weird. You just have the worst view of everyone.

Red flags just look like flags when you're wearing rose tinted glasses.

Again I rolled my eyes at my thoughts. This voice, the nasty little bitchy one, had been with me for years but chose the worst moments to make itself known. Like when I had three people staring at me waiting for a response but I was too busy arguing with the voice in my head.

"Charlotte that's way to kind! Are you sure?"

"Anything for family. You're one of us now Sugar, we'll help with anything you need." Peter and Jasper both nodded firmly, making sure that Charlotte's statement was believed.

I nodded and went to go and start the shower.

Thank god for good hotels. This water pressure is amazing. And I'm alone in my head. NO MORE VOICE.

Excuse me bitch, I'm right here.

Nope. No more voice.

JPOV.

Walking into that room hurt. Bella had been so happy to see the door open and then when she had seen it was me, her smile disappeared. She hadn't wanted it to be me. The disappointment was clear on her face, but her feelings were fuzzy. I entered the room and threw the letter at her, going to join Peter and Char on the other side of the room.

"Trafford left and has taken all of Bella's stuff with him to attempt to make her follow him home. We need to help her. I can't let her put her life on hold for him again. Apparently this is the sort of thing that happens all the time. He kicks off because they're not doing what he wants to be doing and she just follows him and does what he wants. Sky and Aaron think it's because she feels like he looks after her and she's always looked for a parent who will tell her what to do instead of it being the other way around. She now officially has nothing with her, no clothes or anything. Char, as soon as is possible I want you to take her to a mall or something and use my credit card. Peter, she listens to you. Please convince her that it's okay to come with us and stay away from 'home'. She already feels like she belongs with us. Well sometimes. We need to show that she belongs with us all the time."

I made sure I wouldn't be heard by Bella but she was still just staring at the letter and hadn't read it yet. Her feelings were coming to me like they were wrapped in a blanket. Unclear, and it was like they weren't really there. I was having real trouble reading them now when just earlier they were as clear as day.

What is going on with this girl?

Special. Mine.

The Major was rearing his ugly head, which was never a good sign. It usually meant that there was a danger I wasn't aware of. Bella looked over to us and started opening the letter, watching me for my reaction. I realised that my face must have held some of the confusion I was feeling at the Major's return and quickly changed it look encouragingly at her but she had already looked away. She must have thought I was looking at her funnily. This was not good. I was constantly doing the wrong things! She was going to think I didn't like her, when the complete opposite was true. I maybe liked her a bit too much.

She is not mine. She is not mine. She is not mine.

MINE!

This was all too much. Had she read the letter yet? It really wasn't that that long. What was taking her so long?!

"HE DID WHAT?! THAT SNEAKY LITTLE NO GOOD FUCKIN' SNAKE!" Wow. That was quite the potty mouth on her. That was fuckin' hot. The anger and betrayal she was feeling was extremely clear too. And then they were tamped back down again so I couldn't feel them again.

What the fuck is she?

Peter held his hand out towards her to have her go to him, being the overprotective brother and she just brushed him off, staring into space and handed him the letter. I could have laughed had I not been so annoyed by the fact that I couldn't feel what she was feeling. She turned to look at them and they had to read the letter so she didn't know that they already knew what had happened. Their eyes grew darker and their anger towards a certain human grew deeper. He was starting to remind me of my ex-wife. I would not like to be him when Charlotte caught up with him.

She moved now to stand in front of Bella, and held her face in her hands gently. "Sugar, don't you worry about any of that right now. You go and get a shower, do a bit of relaxin' and you can wear some of my clothes until we can figure out something else later on. Is that okay?" Bella looked so emotional but I couldn't feel a thing she was feeling. This was so frustrating.

"Charlotte, that's way too kind! Are you sure?"

"Anything for family. You're one of us now Sugar, we'll help with anything you need." Peter and I both nodded firmly. I would make sure she was happy with us. Bella nodded back and went to start the shower.

As she got under the water it was like I could literally feel her body relaxing as if it were my body but I couldn't feel anything she was actually feeling.

"I'm just going to step outside to make a call, you'll stay here with Bella?" I asked them, already knowing what the answer would be. They nodded their answer at me while Charlotte was rooting through her bags looking for a comfortable outfit for Bella.

I left the hotel and stood outside, deciding now was as good a time as any to call Emmett. I took out my phone and it immediately started to ring.

"Hello?" I answered the phone, the number unknown.

"Jazzy-Poo! Oh Em Gee! You're alive! You've been gone from my visions for a while and I had to check and see if you were okay and you are! What wonderful news!"

Fuckin' Alice. How had she got this number? No wonder she called on a blocked number, she knew if I was alive I never would have answered it.

"Alice, what a pleasant surprise. To what do I owe this honour?" I greeted her in a monotonous voice, hoping she would take the hint that it really wasn't a pleasant surprise. Apparently that was too much to hope for.

"Well Jazzy, like I said, I just had to check on you. I know you met up with those… people you call your family and then you just disappeared. I thought maybe they had given in to the animals they truly are and killed you. I was so worried about you. We may no longer be together but I look back on our lives together with great happiness and love. I do still truly care about my Jazzy-Poo. When will you come back home? This place is not the same without you in it." She meant that she couldn't just have a bitch to anyone about the people there because Em and Rose refused to talk to her and Edward was too much up Carlisle's ass to possibly bad mouth anyone. Dillon and Fortuna were only accustomed to Alice's 'nice' self and she would never admit that there was this awful side to her that hated humans.

"Alice, I won't be returning to live with you all. I have decided to stay with my real family. That's not to say that I won't come to visit. I miss Emmett, so I'll be there to see him and Rose. Actually I was about to call him. Is he there?"

"No. I am alone in the forest so Dillon doesn't find out I am calling you. He wouldn't be very happy with me if he found I was still in contact with you. Please come home Jazz. I can't take it any longer. You were a way better mate than he is. You let me get away with anything I wanted."

That bitch. She missed me because I was her doormat.

Well not anymore you poisonous pixie.

"But Alice, we were never mates, remember? You manipulated everything so that life would be exactly how you liked it and then you went and fucked all that up by pissing everyone off. Well I have nothing for you anymore. Goodbye Alice." And with that, I hung up the phone with her indignant screeching on the other end. I quickly typed in Emmett's number and pressed dial.

"You've reached the man mountain, you know what to do" BEEEEEP

Ahhh dammit, voicemail. I left a message to let him know it was me and left it at that. As I finished my message and hung up the phone, a truck pulled up next to me with Aaron in the passenger seat and Sky peering around him from the driver's seat.

"Hey! We all ready to go or am I parking up and coming inside?"

With that there was a noise behind me of huffing and puffing. Bella was carrying mine and some of Charlotte's bags.

"She insisted. I couldn't have stopped her if I'd wanted to!" shrugged Peter when I looked at him questioningly.

Charlotte had given her a plain white V-neck tee, light blue skinny jeans, a brown leather jacket and some scuffed up brown cowgirl boots. Her hair was pulled back in a messy bun and her face was bare, her makeup being god knows where with Ford.

Good fuckin' choice Char!

MINE!

There he was again laying claim to the human girl struggling with the bags in front of me. OH THE BAGS! Suddenly remembering that I was a gentleman, and a vampire to boot, I took the bags off her, unloading Charlotte's back onto Peter.

"My truck is in the basement guys. Let me go get it and I'll be right back up." I started to walk away towards to the stairs to the basement when I heard someone running towards me. I spun around only for Bella to try to come to a stop too quickly, not manage it, and run right smack into me. I caught her with my right arm, my left still holding my bag, and I held her upright and close to me. "Well hell Darlin', if you wanted a hug you shoulda just said!"

Her beautiful blush made its way across her cheeks and her scent was divine. She smelled so sweet I couldn't get enough of it. She was intoxicating.

"I just wanted to come with you down to the truck. Sorry I ran into you like that." She apologised, pulling away slightly but linking her arm through mine the same way she had the night before.

I nodded and continued to walk to the stairs and down to my truck with not another word passed between us. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence though, not like the ones you would normally have with strangers. It felt good, it was natural. It didn't need to be filled with inane chatter and quips about the weather. We got to the truck and I unlocked it, throwing my bag in the bed before I hopped in the front next to Bella. We drove up to the front of the hotel and as I pulled up in front of Peter and Char, Bella rolled down the window and pulled her tongue out at Peter.

"Shotgun, you fuckin' loser!" she laughed so hard I could smell the tears forming in her eyes at the look of pure shock on Peter's face. Even Charlotte let out a giggle. She was absolutely perfect. I was the luckiest vamp on this planet.

She is not mine. She is not mine. She is not mine.

Author's Note.

Another huge thanks to everyone reviewing and adding to their faves. I hope you enjoyed this little look into Bella's mind. As you can see, it was going to be extremely short again so I had to beef it up with a bit of Jasper. Not that I mind a bit of Jasper of course.

Also I want to apologise to my wonderfun Beta ValdanTwilight... Sarah I'm so sorry I didn't send this to you! This weeks I had both the kids off school and it got a little crazy! I swear I will send you the next one.

Also, we are coming to an end of my prewritten chapters. I will try my hardest to keep up with this but I am only human (unfortunately) and a busy one at that!

See you all again soon! Stay safe and stay beautiful *hearts*

OH! And blessed be to you all on this Samhain.