Chapter 9: Finally Talking, Pt 1

"No, no, it's fine. Let's just move on. The pizza should be here soon; do you want to pick out a movie? No horror and no romcoms. They laughed as they tried to agree on a movie, which turned out to be an especially difficult task this week. They were still laughing when the doorbell rang.

Jane stood up and pulled cash out of her back pocket, "That's probably the pizza." As she walked towards the door she noted, "Wow, they were fast today."

"Very fast," Greg added from his position on the couch.

Jane opened the door to the last person she expected to be standing there.

"Maura," Jane said in a whisper so quiet only Maura could hear her.

Both women stood frozen in the door. Greg stood up and walked towards the door, "Is everything okay, Jane. Do you need more money for the pizza?"

"N..n..no," Jane tried to respond, but she was so shocked she couldn't get the words out of her mouth.

Maura on the other hand realized that Jane had someone at her house, probably on a date. She quickly said, "I'm so sorry, Jane. I didn't realize you weren't alone. It was stupid of me to assume." As she finished her apologies, she swiftly tried to turn around and leave Jane's front porch as fast as she could. Just as she was stepping down to the sidewalk, she felt Jane's hand grab her wrist.

"No, Maura, don't go. Please just come inside." Jane pleaded.

Maura turned around, but she made no move towards the door nor did she say a word.

In the meantime, Greg had realized who the woman at Jane's door was. He had gathered his things and put on his shoes. As he walked through the door, he said to Jane, "I'm going to head out. You can keep the beer. Have a good evening and text me tomorrow."

"Thanks, Greg," Jane said to him before turning back to Maura.

"Please come inside," Jane said as she gently tugged on Maura's wrist. Maura started walking forward and Jane ushered her through the door. However, Maura seemed frozen in the entryway. Jane walked around her so that she could face her. "Maura, what are you doing here? We didn't have a planned visit, unless I missed something? Not that I'm complaining. I'm glad you're here, just a little confused." Jane's voice rose as she started to panic, "Did something happen? Are you okay? Is Ma okay? Frankie, Tommy, TJ, Nina, Korsak…"

"Jane, Jane, stop," Maura interrupted Jane's panicked tirade. "Your family is okay. I promise. Everything back in Boston is just fine."

"You avoided saying you were fine though…" Jane noticed. "What's wrong?" Jane added as she took a step towards Maura.

Maura exhaled loudly, closed her eyes, and said, "You RSVP'd no to my wedding."

"Oh," Jane said as she quickly stepped away from Maura. "Yeah, I can't be there. Please don't tell me you can all the way down here to convince me to come to your wedding."

Maura didn't say anything. She could feel herself starting to panic. Taking a deep breath, Maura tried to continue, "No, I didn't come here to convince you to come to my wedding. I came here because…" There was a long pause. Jane was confused, but Maura felt as though her emotions were going to explore out of her and they did.

"I didn't come here to try to convince you to come to my wedding. I came here because I realized it was more important to me that you were at my wedding than whether Ian was at my wedding."

"What?" Jane tried to ask.

But Maura wasn't listening. The floodgates had opened, and she couldn't stop her words now, "I broke off the engagement with Ian and kicked him out of the house. I've been an idiot, trying to make a family where there isn't one. I should have learned as a child that you can't make other people conform to your idea of a family." Maura knew she was rambling, but she kept going anyway. It felt good to get this off her chest, "I couldn't marry Ian. We didn't want the same things. Besides, it was obvious to him that I didn't love him. I'm not sure if I ever did. I think maybe I was in love with the possibility I thought he offered. But, the potential for a family isn't worth losing you. You, Jane, are the most important person in my life. You are the person I need above everyone else. I know we're in different places in our lives and all that, but I want to rebuild our friendship. Jane, I love you. I'm head over heels, crazy, lose my mind in love with you and I have been for years. I know you don't feel the same way and I know you never could. I'm not asking you for anything more. All I want is to be friends again. I miss my best friend. I need my best friend. I…"

Jane stepped into Maura's space and pushed her against the wall, cutting off her rant with a loving kiss. Just as Jane was going to deepen the kiss, she felt Maura's whole body go limp. She took a step back without letting Maura fall and lowered her to the floor.

"Maura, Maura, can you hear me? Maur?" Just before Jane started to get hysterical, Maura opened her eyes.

"Hey, there. Are you okay?" Jane asked softly.

"Um, I think so," Maura said as she tried to sit up.

"Oh no, don't sit up yet. I don't want you to lose consciousness again."

"How long was I out?" Maura asked.

"Less than 30 seconds. Should I call you an ambulance?"

"No, I'll be fine. It was likely a combination of my lack of nutrition and dehydration combined with swift changes in blood pressure."

Jane looked confused, "Uh, in English please?"

Maura smiled, "My meal schedule is off today, and I haven't been drinking enough water, hence suspected dehydration. Also, when I was talking, my blood pressure was relatively high as a result of anxiety. Then, my blood pressure dropped because…"

"Did you go vasovagal because you lied?" Jane asked, not sure if she actually wanted to hear the answer.

"No, Jane. I didn't lie. I just don't know how much of what happened actually happened vs what happened in my head while I was unconscious," Maura said quietly.

DING DONG

"Seriously, they have the worst timing," Jane said looking down at Maura who was still on the floor with a confused look on her face. "It's the pizza."

Jane jumped up, opened the door, gave the delivery guy way too much money, grabbed the pizza and shut the door all in under 5 seconds.

"Well, that was a bit rude, Jane. You should have been more polite with the delivery person."

Jane placed the pizza on the coffee table before turning back to kneel next to Maura. "It's fine. I gave him a huge tip. He'll leave here happy."

"But still…" Maura stopped when she saw Jane rolling her eyes.

"Now, where were we?" Jane asked with a smirk.

"I was saying I didn't know what was real," Maura started, but Jane didn't let her finish as she leaned in to capture Maura's lips in a sweet kiss.

"Does that help answer your question?" Jane said smiling.

Maura just laid there with her mouth hanging open. "You okay there, Maur?" Jane asked her.

"But..but, I…I thought…" Maura stuttered.

"Yeah, I thought too," Jane said cryptically. "Here, let me help you lean against the wall." Jane pulled Maura up so that she was in a sitting position against the wall. "I don't think you'll need these," Jane added as she took Maura's shoes and set them neatly by her purse near the entryway. "I'm going to get you water and orange juice. That's good for you after you pass out, right?

"Yes, that would be perfect. Thanks," Maura answered her.

"Good, because other than beer that's pretty much all I have," Jane told Maura as she headed to the kitchen. She brought the drinks back to Maura, "Here start with these. I'm going to go grab plates and napkins for the pizza. Then I'll help you to the couch, okay?"

"I can move to the couch on my own," Maura stated.

"Please, just let me help you," Jane pleaded.

"Okay," Maura conceded.