A/N:
SaintHeartwing: Because Lucia has never attempted to mock, hurt, or murder Frisk. Also, the funny thing about speculative fiction is that it's speculative. Because wendigos don't exist in the real world. So the finer details of a monster's dietary requirements often depend on the setting.
From One Adorkable Loser To A...
"Greetings, Doctor Alphys." said the woman who was sitting behind the receptionist's desk.
"O-oh, uh, h-hiya? … Wait, how did you… know my name?" Alphys asked.
The human stopped typing at her computer to give Alphys a blank look.
"Your yellow scales and unwashed lab coat made it obvious. Also, there's nobody here right now except for you and me, not to mention that my employer anticipated that you would arrive at a convenient moment for him." said the human.
Fidgeting slightly, Alphys suddenly became acutely aware of three things.
First, everything that the human had just said was rather true.
Second, the events that had happened between speaking with Papyrus and arriving at the mayor's dwelling were now quite foggy.
And thirdly… her choice to inquire after that business card might have been a mistake.
"Doctor Alphys?" the receptionist called out, patiently waiting for a reply.
"H-huh?" Alphys looked up. "U-uh…"
Alphys couldn't quite find the words to express how she felt, so she clammed up.
The two women stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity… but in reality, it was merely sixty-nine seconds.
A laugh escaped from Alphys's mouth as she coughed.
Then, she deliberately coughed a few more times.
The receptionist blinked.
Alphys began to blush.
The scientist looked for a way to change the subject.
"U-um… Miss?"
"Yes?"
Fidgeting some more, Alphys couldn't help but question something odd about the human's attire.
"Your name tag. It says… 'The receptionist?'"
The receptionist looked down for a moment.
"Yes, indeed it does."
"…Why?"
"Because… bit character."
Alphys blinked twice.
"I.. have no idea what that's supposed to mean."
"I know… and I don't blame you. I don't know if anybody understands anything anymore. I mean, think about it. We're all told that if you work hard and believe in yourself, then everything is guaranteed to turn out fine. But it's pretty obvious that things don't work out for everyone and that's why we have grim-derp, soul-crushing tragedies. And if that's true, then what's the point of investing in anything when your happy ending can easily be yanked away from you at any moment because a creator in the multiverse decided to be a nihilistic, obnoxious douchebag for no reason? And if…"
As the receptionist continued to monologue, Alphys found that she was short of breath.
Her hands felt clammy, and she felt a painful throbbing in her forehead.
She opened her mouth to scream-
Opening her eyes, Alphys was greeted with the sight of a large, blue planet with some scattered continents and cloud contrails.
Sitting up, she noticed that she was surrounded by a rocky landscape that was both barren and gray.
The sky was black, and there were no stars.
Everything was quiet… aside from the music.
Lonely violin notes, plus the vocals of a talented female singer.
The piece in question was a cover of 'Don't Think Twice,' by AmaLee and Taylor Davis.
There was no way for Alphys to know this specific detail, of course.
She did like the lyrics, though.
Very catchy.
Alphys found that amusing, in a rather surreal manner.
Music.
In space.
On the Moon.
Plus oxygen.
Oxygen?
Alphys took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, and then exhaled with a sigh of relief.
Definitely oxygen.
In space.
On the Moon.
Good to know.
But that still didn't answer the question of how she ended up on the Moon in the first place-
"A mayor did it." came a grunt.
Alphys shrieked, nearly tripping over the mayor of Riverview City, who was looking up at the Earth while sitting with his legs crossed.
His smartphone was playing the music from earlier, but he decided to turn the volume down.
It would be repetitive to go over the mayor's appearance again, so the words would be better spent on other matters.
This would be an appropriate time for an exposition dump, but we all know that exposition is boring, so let's skip over it.
"Did you understand all of that?" Kenneth asked.
"Uhh…. n-not… really? It kinda feels like you just said a b-bunch of stuff without conveying anything meaningful." Alphys quietly replied.
"Well, it's a literary paradox. If an author tries to have the characters explains things that they should already know about in-universe, then it becomes irritating for the audience whenever it involves the overused phrase, 'as you know.' But on the other hand, if the author tries to avoid providing any exposition at all, then that's also irritating."
"Uh…"
Alphys wasn't quite sure of what Kenneth was taking about, but it seemed rather important to him.
"Do you have any thoughts on the matter, Alphys?"
"Umm… well… maybe you could try providing… exposition? …In a more tasteful way? I think that's what you were asking, r-right?" the lizard replied, chuckling nervously.
The werewolf lowered his head and looked away.
"Mister Livingston?" Alphys inquired, feeling a strange sense of… familiarity?
"Define tasteful."
Alphys perked up at that, excited by the prospect of being viewed as helpful and intelligent.
"Oh, I know that one! The definition of tasteful is… 'showing good aesthetic judgment or appropriate behavior.'"
Alphys faltered when Kenneth looked back at her.
"I-I mean… I -mean… uh… I'm sorry! I didn't mean-"
"No, that's the right definition." Kenneth reassured, startling the younger monster. "It's just that… definitions don't make it easier to handle the drudgery of everyday life."
Alphys fell silent, sensing that it was appropriate… in her eyes, at least.
"I mean, the meaning of 'good judgement' varies wildly depending on who you're asking. And the same goes for 'appropriate behavior,' because a joke that one person finds funny can easily end up triggering the person next to them! And then you have a clusterfuck of angry, screeching lunatics who can't be reasoned with because they don't even want to be reasoned with!"
Alphys wasn't quite sure if she understood the context of the word, 'triggering,' but she decided to take a stab at it.
"Um… wouldn't it be better to… not? Get involved with those people? They sound really unpleasant to handle. I try to keep away from people like that and focus on happier things, like… um… the first and only season of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie?"
"Hm. I suppose that's one option. Just ignore all of the bad things in life to focus on all of the good things you enjoy. That's enough for most people… but…"
"'But?' Why would there be a 'but?' If there's a situation that you can't fix, then you don't have to torture yourself by dwelling on it all the time!"
"That's easier said than done. You of all people should know that."
Alphys shuddered as a chill went down her spine.
"It's true that with time and practice, it's more than possible to change your habits in a positive manner. That's why introverts can pass themselves off as extroverts because it's an important life skill. But some successful individuals make it look so effortless… hmph. Obnoxious pricks, the lot of them. They always fall back on that ironic, self-deprecating high school speech about the woes of procrastination. It's the same exact speech. Every… damn… time."
Alphys twiddled her claws.
"And after hundreds of nihilistic tales that do nothing but attack the very concept of escapism, it's become more tempting than ever before. It's because people dream about having the power to make the world a better place. Because the real world is a horrendous, soul-crushing hellhole full of screeching activists, outrageous double standards and the sea of hypocrisy that pre-emptively protects itself from any and all valid criticism under the guise of 'tolerance' and 'political correctness.'"
Kenneth took a deep breath.
"No one is invalidated, but nobody is right. That's why I prefer to keep my head down and keep myself busy with hard work. It doesn't matter what the goal is, because coming up with goals was always the tricky part. I suppose that's what happens when working hard is the only thing that matters to the people you constantly have to appease in order to 'fit in' and be a more 'productive' member of society."
The two monsters shared a look.
"But… that can't be the only way to live. That sounds so miserable…" Alphys shook her head.
"It's better than being a lazy, pretentious douchebag like Sans, wouldn't you say?" the werewolf retorted, tapping his right thigh with his index finger. "Some of us actually believe that we have the right to exercise free will without being chided by an infinitely large horde of cosmic nihilists."
Alphys had no response for that.
"And in the end… I suppose that's my wish fulfillment. To live in a world where people are allowed to reap the benefits of hard work with no strings attached. A world where it really is possible to earn your happy ending without being forced to let people take it away from you because you're supposed to be the 'hero' of a tragedy."
Looking up at the bright blue planet, the werewolf smiled.
"That's the world I want to see."
As the strange mayor took his time with conjuring up the portal that led back home, Alphys couldn't help but dwell on what had been discussed.
Sure, his words were rather dismal and unsettling… but…
They made feel… calm.
Calm?
A world where things will work out for you if you learn to mind your own business?
A world that won't judge you for wanting to stay home and binge-watch anime all the time?
Yes… that did sound rather nice.