Sonica watched Ratchet fix the T-cog to the best of his ability and wearily insert it into the yellow scout as he laid waiting in stasis.
This was the moment of truth.
As she had returned with the Autobots, an exchanged glance between her and Bumblebee was enough to say the plan was a great possibility at this point.
Optimus had also asked where she was and she confessed hitting Starscream in the face. However, she's earned the slight suspicion he had at her short story.
When this is over, he'll be pulling her aside to interrogate her more.
Ratchet nervously interrupts stasis and it's a waiting game for the next several, long cycles. The dear doctor kept checking things on the screens and paced in his thoughts trying to be sure he did everything.
When Bee wakes, Ratchet's paranoia changes to hovering dread.
Bumblebee was excited to wake up though; ready and very hopeful as he was before stasis. Those phrases were also his cues to Sonica to hold off longer.
But when his body didn't transform, the exchanged glance from earlier returned.
Ratchet's dread hit and Sonica bolsters some courage.
The churning metal noise that they normally don't hear on a daily basis, is suddenly the most beautiful sound in the world. Bee makes some circles, opens his door, and calls for Raf who doesn't hesitate to hop in.
Sonica giggles at Ratchet's laugh as they speed off and Optimus smiles with pride in his old friend. She's finally able to relax...sort of.
Once her's and Optimus' eyes meet, the heat is on again.

She's always liked his make-shift office. It's simple and comfortable despite his recharge bed off to the left. He's also kept all the postcards the kids find for him and they're all taped on the wall by his desk.
He takes his side of the desk and she passes on the chair against the wall.
"Sonica,"
She locks her hands behind her back and finds it hard to look him in the optics.
"I just want to share some confidence with you concerning what you do and do not tell me. Firstly, I understand that your past lives have cemented experiences into your behavior that justify your caution. I also understand that worthy sparks are those you can trust and that is solely your call to make.
"I'm not bringing you in here to pry, but to re-communicate to you that you can tell me, if you deem me trustworthy."
She internally cringes, "But you are, Optimus. Out of all Cybertronians I have met, I have the greatest respect for you and your Autobots. I've always been more comfortable here and I deeply care about all of you."
He smiles and nods once, "Thank you, Sonica. I only wanted to clarify as you've seemed a little distant. Communication with had been scarce before my anmesia and now that you've returned, I've noticed some fearful tendencies in your actions."
"Really?" She blinks a few times.
Optimus slightly tilts his head, "Yes... Just little things. I'm not worried about your connections with us and I have full respect of your judgments. Again, my only intention was to clarify, in case there was something we did do that might have influenced your opinion."
Sonica decides to take the chair and sit herself down. Now that Optimus has mentioned it, she sees it. That fear she felt when he became rigid after she'd blurted the ill-will she suffered, plus the shyness about telling him about Starscream... which she does feel she should talk about.
"I don't think it's you bots," She tries a smile, but it doesn't stay; unusual for her, "I guess...I'm just not used to having people I can confide in."
Optimus nods somberly, "I understand that very well."
She looks up, prompting and waiting. He debates how much he wants to say and the pause stretches tight like a cable about to snap.
"Being a leader can be lonely, can't it?" She smiles softly and he reciprocates.
"It's hard, but not any harder than what others, like you, go through."
"Don't measure pain or struggle," Sonica shakes her head and her tendrils clink on her shoulder fins, "You only belittle your own in the end."
For a meaningful moment, they connect and her smile lifts.
"I don't know how much help I can be...I'm not a leader in anyway...but I do have a flexible mind, plus historical connections, that could aid you when you're feeling stuck. If nothing else, I'm an excellent secret keeper, actor, and listener."
His smile deepens, "That sounded like a resume."
She laughs; the tune of it skipping and pleasant. His chuckle compliments as it rolls like bass to a song.
"Don't tell the others, but, you're my favorite."
He tries a soft suspicious look over his smile.
"I mean it though," Her trademark tease kicks in again, "When you re-join the AllSpark, don't tell my past friends. If I ever go there, I couldn't look them in the face if they knew."
She had hoped to get another chuckle but the ever pensive and curious Optimus can't leave new information alone, "'If' you ever go there?"
Sonica tries to shrug it off but since Optimus is aware of her nervousness, she is too. Despite her efforts to hide, it shows, "I don't like talking about it because of how it seems... Of course, I don't know how it works, exactly, but the fact that all my past sisters are present within me kind of scares me."
He looks down, wisely, so she can't read all of his concern. She's grateful because this is the only subject that can cause her despair. She doesn't want to learn that her eternity involves being bound to a body she used to inhabit. Even if she is able to be one with the AllSpark, she sees herself stuffed in a corner with her sisters, away from friends and lost to them.
Optimus raises his head, about to say something but she cuts him off.
"I guess I should tell you I gave Starscream a sample of green and silver energon."
He stares, and all she has for him is a sheepish grin.

Yuck. That could've gone better, Sonica keeps thinking, though a few solar cycles have passed.
Oddly, it's been extremely slow, and Bumblebee is itching to do something.
They have gotten into so much trouble with Ratchet. He does not appreciate his tools wrapped in paper and he especially hates when they throw large tarps over his screens behind his back. They tried to keep them mild after he cursed at them for tying a ribbon on his antenna. That might have been too far, but it wasn't until Optimus found a painted, slightly suggestive, portrait of himself on the outside of his door, that they realized they'd hit a limit. Optimus took it down and they felt worse than they assumed.
Sonica and Bee thought about doing something to Arcee, but those ideas ended in calculations of death, so they resist.
But Bulkhead has been a great sport. His courtesy laughs are felt as he sweeps confetti out of his room. And his deadpanned looks are appreciated when he almost falls over expecting his weights to be heavier then they made them look. That one is a favorite, but it had to stop after Bulk tried to get them back by throwing it at them. He missed and scared the slag out of Ratchet before he watched them bounce on the ground.
Nevertheless, Bulk tolerates the locking him out of his room and the holes near the top of his glass of energon. He's been so nice, they decided to try Optimus' prank on him. For that, Bulkhead shouted down the hall at them while they were gathered in the main room. Just one word: DUDE!
He may have been a little disturbed by the labels they put on there: drum tum, slammin' shoulders, 'huh?' hips, hot heels, charmer chin, bodacious booty, and front-of-bodacious-booty.
That prank may also have backfired. Bulkhead kept the thing out of spite and it still hangs in his room. He calls it "evidence" that Sonica and Bee admire him. Arcee loves it, and likes to bring it up: "Get anymore gifts from your admirers lately?" To which, Bulk will respond proudly, "I think they're working on it. They wouldn't risk hurting my feelings."
Rude. So, Sonica painted Bulkhead on a pole and that's when Optimus strongly suggested a cease fire.
The truth is this has all been a distraction for which Sonica is desperate to keep rolling. Her talk with Optimus containing the touch of the touchiest subject, inspired yet another dream. In the mix of the normal ones of her going berserk, she dreamt of a curse. A curse that Unicron put on her as she was trapped somewhere. It's too real. She struggles to brush it off every waking cycle.
Thankfully, Wheeljack arrived and spiced things up the normal way. Blowing up a gas station instead of Dreadwing was the most exciting thing in several days. Sonica was the only one who thought it was funny and was still fighting laughter when Fowler stomped in yelling. Bee shook his head at her. But she did stop when Optimus and Wheeljack had a short stand-off.
After he left, Bulkhead left, and Sonica quickly searched for a distraction. It's uncanny the way she feels Unicron casting the curse on her. She can almost see where she was but it's drowned by the paralyzing fear of being trapped. Why can't she shake this?
Though she wasn't there for Wheeljack's hunting down Dreadwing with Bulkhead, she did hear about all the aftermath when they settled down back at base- after Bulkhead dragged Wheeljack to his room to show him the "evidence of his admirers". Once the Wrecker composed himself, he admitted that was the most he had laughed in forever.
A time later and following many stories, Bee, Bulk, Jackie and Sonica left pranks behind and started a new game. Since Wheeljack was learning more about her and her abilities, he made a comment that started it all.
He was looking up at her as she hung from the ceiling that held a pipe of energon to the ground bridge, "Wow, you must be pro at hunter games."
She agreed and challenged them; saying they couldn't catch her with all the tricks she can do. The game began, also starting the worst weeks of Ratchet's life.
Even the kids got into it and the bots built some net-launchers. Wheeljack became the strategist and team leader during his visiting days. He'd fan them out according to plan, and they would spend the next several cycles hunting her.
To be fair, she held off on the black energon, but she used red and orange to get away. It drove them nuts until one day, she finally explains from the ceiling that she's not using her biggest trump card.
Telling them that got everyone more interested in the game.
As her nightmares have consistently played and kept her from a full recharge, she figures taking advantage of the hunting game would not only be educational but excellent preparation. As she was downplaying what they called "cheating", she piqued the interest of Ratchet, Optimus, and Arcee.
This was how she introduced them to black energon; disappearing and reappearing at their side, pushing Bumblebee, who suddenly had to catch his balance, and then showing up properly seated on Bulkhead's shoulder.
What she didn't expect...for some reason...was what Wheeljack got excited about.
"This is great! With your abilities, we can end this war once and for all."
Her hesitation was offensive, "I will not be a weapon."
"You don't have to be," Wheeljack shrugs and his grin has faded into a stubborn smile, "Just give us the black energon, we'll go in and take them down ourselves. We'll finally avenge our fallen comrades."
"And avenge you for all you've been through," Bee adds, remembering her statement of Megatron almost terminating her.
Optimus only watches for now, but he observes her closely.
Sonica is brimming with guilt. All her sisters whisper and recoil, filling her further with embarrassment. Doradus the First steps forwards, scolding her, and readies to destroy unworthy sparks. Sonica manged to keep Murderer at by but has never won a fight against Doradus.
Bulkhead hammers a fist into his hand, getting pumped up, "I say let's do it! This has gone on long enough."
"I want to try this black energon," Bee pipes up.
Even the children get into it.
"Arcee, imagine you with it!" Jack's chuckle almost sounds nervous, "You're already stealthy and with that..."
She grins at him, "You know it. After we hit Megatron's ship, I'm finding Arachnid next."
"We will not be getting revenge," Optimus cuts in.
Wheeljack waves his comment away, "With what powers she has to offer, we won't have to terminate them. We'll be formidable enough to keep them prisoner."
"Then she could fuel the Nemesis and the space bridge," Arcee's smile climbs her faceplate.
Bulkhead throws his arms in the air, "And we could go home!"
He and Wheeljack bump chests.
"She could re-energize Cybertron," Ratchet looks to Optimus in awe, "She has said she could do that with enough energon, plus the healing white one."
Prime glances at them all and nods before turning to Sonica.
She's frozen in place, her optics are wide with fear and her mind is elsewhere, far away.
Optimus tries her name a couple times, but gets no response. The group's excitement fades and they watch her. He tries again. Carefully, he moves his hand towards her, to set it gently on her shoulder, but she reels and leaps backwards.
"No. No. I won't do it."
The offense sifts in between the surprise.
"What?" Wheeljack is first.
"Sonica, we need to end this war, do you know how many bots we've lost?" Arcee's tone is sharp but the wounds underneath shake her voice.
Ratchet steps in from the outside of the circle, "What about our home?"
Optimus tries to move to her side, but she takes a step back.
"No. I won't turn you all into monsters."
Wheeljack pushes past Ratchet, "Monsters? Do you know what I've had to do as a Wrecker? Maybe you haven't seen war before, but we already are monsters."
Sonica throws a plate of orange energon into Wheeljack and he is swung up and over everyone to crash into the rock by the exit. The plate is gone before he hits, and they all turn towards her in alarm. Optimus takes front, protecting them.
"Sonica Doradus, we mean you no harm."
Her body shakes and her wide optics are shifting towards everything except their faces. "They never do. They never mean it. They just want it to be over..."
Optimus keeps his Autobots quiet and back behind him.
"Sonica Doradus, look at me. Come back to us."
Mourning cries start to pour out of her, "Come back to me. Come back. I'm sorry..."
Optimus tries her name again and reaches just a little; with no intention to touch her.
She reels and screams.
They wince and cover their audio receptors until it suddenly cuts off. She used black energon and now they have lost all track of her.
Wheeljack gets up and brushes himself off, "Slag.'
They turn to him but still glance around for Sonica.
"Are you alright, Jackie?"
"I'm fine," but his movements are sharp and rough.
Optimus takes the center of them, "Keep an eye out for Sonica. If you see her, do not engage. Inform me immediately and let me handle this. No one is to speak to her until this passes."

Sonica burns black energon as she sits on top of the silo, hugging her legs to her torso.
As the team cheered, her sisters started to share memories. Many friends, even past conjunx, have changed when she gave them these powers. Maybe a one time use didn't change them, but giving the types to them allowed them to reverse engineer it and produce more. They had even found a way to dilute it so she couldn't control it.
The types don't make anyone immortal; enemies have also stolen the types by bleeding out her choice sparks.
Doradus has had to join wars against trusted allies to extinguish the knowledge she gave them. Being the only one that can shift between the 7, outside of regular and dark energon, she managed. But numbers often overwhelmed her, and it took a few sisters to complete the purge.
Anytime anyone knows of her true capabilities, she's been hunted, stalked, imprisoned, even dissected; making it difficult to end conflicts on her own. If she succeeded and her employers didn't betray her, Doradus became their obsession.
Twice, she has been single-handedly responsible for renewing most, if not all, of Cybertron's populations. Both times started with loved ones she trusted; if they weren't changed, someone else was, and Doradus had to suffer them being a hostage.
Sonica recalls these memories just as if she lived them. Perhaps she has as she waited her turn for life.
The memories play again and again. The spilt energon, dodging those in black energon and catching up to those with red. Her opponent in the most difficult battles would return because of white energon after she barely survived the last encounter. She remembers their faces and tries to drown out the cries of the few that were used as bait. Their screams ring in her mind with throbbing spark-aches of terminating them to save them from torture.
Amidst her torment that night, her mind suddenly drifts to Breakdown. Bots like him would change and bots like Optimus would be used as hostages.
The agony squeezes out of her in long wails and moans. With black energon, no one will hear, she's truly alone and that's how it should be. Regret accompanies her guilt. She shouldn't have told them about the energon types. In her attempts to avoid her nightmare, she's caused it. Now that they know, she might have to cut them down too...Starscream, the Autobots, maybe even Prime. She can't risk anyone knowing what they shouldn't.
As much as she'd like to fight for her past decisions and say they were good, the experiences that say otherwise have more weight. She never should have even implied there were more. Now she's put them all in danger.
Breakdown returns to her thoughts and takes place beside her.
"If it happens again, come to me, Sonica. I'm bigger and should be more effective."
He opens his arms for her, and she dives in. She lets out all her pain until it starts to fade. Breakdown waits patiently as she settles down, then he rubs her upper back carefully.
"Happy to help."
Doradus the First seems to step out of nowhere as Sonica's mind drifts in sorrow, "Will you be her Guardian, Strong Spark?"
Breakdown looks intently at her, like he's learning something Sonica can't hear. "Yeah, I'll do that."
Doradus turns to Sonica, "You'll be free when this is over, Sly One. Be sure to thank your Guardian."
Their gazes meet and Breakdown grins at her. His smile shines through his eyes.
"I'm not sure I understand." She's so tired, is this supposed to mean something? Isn't she dreaming?
"Don't worry about it. It's a long time coming but I'll see you then."
Sonica tilts her head at him then glances at Doradus then him, and back again, but the second time she turns to him, he's walking into the distance and waving over his shoulder.
"If I can only ask one thing of you, my friend, please return to the Decepticons someday. They need you."
The thought fades and Sonica finds herself looking into the horizon. Realization drops on her like a meteor.
"No..."

Megatron turns from the computers, "It's all too clear by our inability to track him, but tell me: why were you not able to recover his remains?"
Dreadwing bows, "Forgive me, Master. If you wish, I'll continue the search."
He waves the suggestion away. Dreadwing was gone a long time and is a good soldier. If he didn't find the remains, then they weren't there somehow. If the Autobots didn't find Breakdown, then perhaps the humans that kidnapped him did. Only time will tell.
He dismisses Dreadwing and returns to the computers but doesn't see them. Deep in thought, he reflects on Breakdown and his influence on the ship and naturally, along with Knockout, he recalls Sonica.
Then he gets an idea.
Politely, he asks Soundwave to put him on the visual coms to address his troupes.
"Decepticons," He begins with false solemnity, "Tonight I bring you terrible news: Breakdown is one with the AllSpark. With this, I cannot help thinking about how Sonica Doradus is out there and unaware that one of her supposed, dearest friends has perished.
"I say 'supposed' because I'm recalling our history with her as well, and I've realized a more spark-breaking conclusion: she saved the traitor and deserter Starscream...but not Breakdown who was loyal to the end.
"She came here professing to be a comrade and guest, and promised help but then she left us for the cursed Autobots; leaving Breakdown to perish...and not just him but others before him. Our numbers are decreasing because we fell for another Autobot lie."
He pauses intentionally and lets the information sink in.
"Decepticons, if you are still my devoted army, I promise you that this lie from Sonica Doradus will not go unpunished. Our comrade will rest in peace when he knows who keeps their promises. We will never forget, and we will never forgive."

"How long have you known her?" Wheeljack shrugs with his forearms in the thickness of the atmosphere.
Prime's deep voice has a slight edge, "We've known her since before we left Cybertron. She is genuine. Her mourning was real."
"I'm not asking if she cares about Cybertron, I'm asking if you think she cares about us."
"Jackie, she does care. I've seen her look out for each one of us."
"Does she care if she's staying out of a war that she could've ended before it started?"
"She was put in stasis before the war began." Optimus is patient, "There was nothing she could've done."
"But she follows you here, to this planet, you find the Decepticons and you lose a bot...but what does she do? If she could stop this, why didn't she?"
Bee's winged doors aim down the same way his brow does, "She has her own way of fighting this. She wants peace as much as we do."
Optimus puts up a hand, "Bumblebee,"
"It's fine, Prime, I got this."
"That's not my intention..."
"I know, but I can answer this," Wheeljack turns to Bee. "Doradus, the Endless Fountain of Energon, she's supposed to care about life and care for Cybertron. Where has she cared about life? Am I wrong to assume that caring for life would include sustaining it?"
"Wheeljack," Optimus adjusts his stance, "Firstly, every soldier knew the price for the fight of freedom. Second, she has been through lives that we cannot begin to imagine and has gained much wisdom; if she fears for us, I believe her. Thirdly, it does not matter how powerful one is; natural consequence is part of all life."
"So, the Wreckers were just a consequence? Was Cliffjumper a consequence too?"
"Watch it!"
Bulkhead nervously hovers a hand near Arcee and tries to get Wheeljack's attention again and warn him to be careful. But his efforts are in vain.
"In part, they are. Choices we have made versus the choices Megatron has made collide and there are gains and losses on either side. It is not fair to ask someone like Sonica to stop the forces of the universe. She is not omnipotent or all-powerful. Nor am I, though I carry the Matrix and all its power."
"She could at least keep us alive to finish this- which we can't do with our numbers. You're also forgetting the fact that she's keeping all those abilities to herself."
Bumblebee growls and takes front, "Are your optics working? Did you see her distress? Optimus did just say she's lived many lives. Do you think, if it really helps us to fight with her powers, that it would've given her more confidence? Clearly, it did NOT help our predecessors and now she acts to prevent history from repeating itself."
"We're not the same generation, are we? Is our war less important than theirs?"
"No."
They turn and find Sonica in the hallway.
Optimus stands between her and Wheeljack, "What all have you heard?"
"Enough," She stares seemingly at the ground a couple strides ahead of her, but her optics are vacant. Her voice is empty of all her usual joy.
"Then maybe she can answer my question," Wheeljack moves around Prime despite Bulkhead's plea. "Is our war less important that you keep your abilities to yourself?"
When she does look up, it's from under her brow and steeled with anger.
Optimus stands by and lets this run its course.
"You haven't been here long enough to see my efforts, Wheeljack, so don't claim that I keep everything to myself. You dare point fingers at me for withholding powers that I've seen corrupt bots like Optimus, and call me selfish when millions of bots like you played a part in destroying Cybertron because you couldn't control mere anger? Why would I give you powers if you can't even do that?"
"I realize you missed a lot so allow me to correct you: this war wasn't just because of anger. We've been struggling this whole time for freedom and just want the fight to be over."
"But you let Cybertron die."
"Exactly why we want it to be over. You could've stopped further damage the moment you woke up, so why didn't you? Maybe you could've ended it all yourself, but you didn't."
"You wouldn't understand if I told you why. I already plan to clean up your mess but I'm trying to do it without draining every one of you."
The silence rings in their audio receptors.
Sonica's legs shake, "If I'm to save Cybertron...I want to make sure everyone left will not injure it again. That includes, dissolving factions and preventing you from changing into power-hungry thieves. Even my past sisters have been tainted...and I am far from clean myself. As long as another way remains, that doesn't include me being a weapon or handing over the types, I'll take it. End of discussion."
Wheeljack turns and walks away before he transforms and drives off.
All composure drops out of her. She slumps and sits herself on the ground. She hides her face and grieves audibly.
Bulkhead goes after Wheeljack. Arcee decides on patrol and Ratchet tries to go back to his work. Bee moves carefully and crouches beside her and cautiously sets a hand on her shoulder. Optimus talks to her for a long while.
During that time, they learn about Breakdown and how she saw him on his way to the AllSpark.
Then they receive a high frequency embedded message from Starscream.

Starscream tried to get her outside, asking for her to heal him instead of Ratchet. She hears all of this from the communications computers and gives the rouge a shout.
"Hey Scremlin, I hate to tell you, but my healing requirements are you must be near dead and dying. That's just how it is. Let Ratchet take care of you this time. I have my hands full, at the moment."
"What?"
She sighs and she can't fake it anymore, "Starscream, I'll catch up with you another time. Please leave me be for now."
"What happened?"
Ratchet growls for the information he claimed to have and he gives it choppily. Then he insists on seeing her and she doesn't have a choice. She doesn't want to lose another Decepticon friend. She walks through the ground bridge.
Starscream winces as he shifted wrong in trying to sit up more, "What are you hiding? What's wrong?"
She sits next to him while Ratchet works; he keeps an eye on them almost as well as Bulkhead does, who's flat-out staring.
"Breakdown is..."
"Ah," He nods unfazed until confusion hits him, "Wait, how do you know? I just learned this from Arachnid."
"If I told you, you'd laugh." She bends her knees up and rests on them.
"Would I?" He teases, "Did you see his spirit or something?"
She shakes her head, "How can you joke about him like that? He was a comrade."
"Surely with all your past lives, you've learned how." He touches the end of a tendril that hangs over her shoulder, "I've had a much smaller number of stellar cycles of practice and I'm a professional."
Sonica dismisses his comment, stands, and nods to him, "Good night, Starscream."
"Good night, my dearest Sonica." He chuckles, "I'm sure you'll get over it."
Bulkhead aims his gun closer, "Don't talk to her like that."