A/N: This is such a pain in the ass but there is no strikethrough option here (or at least idk how so those supposed to be strikethroughs look like this /sample/. See more notes in the end!

Dear Mikasa,

/I've been very stupid, Mik/

/Wow, time flies by so fast. It's been four months since I last wrote to you, huh?/

/Why haven't you wrote back?!/

How are you? I hope you are safe and healthy and sleeping well at night. Armin told me you've been accepted in the university student paper, congratulations. I'm sure you will be doing a great job. It's good that Armin and Annie visit you once in a while, even if the drive is a pain in the ass. So, you and Annie get along well, huh? Though it isn't too surprising for me because you're kind of alike, in a way.

/Well, I'm very sorry, Mik. I haven't written because, well you haven't responded, and I just don't know what to say/

/I have thought about a lot of things from the last time I wrote/

I stayed for four months in Hanoi, not only because the cost of living was relatively cheaper, but the calming atmosphere in the rural areas near the city really appealed to me. I went hiking there several times, which was tiring and a bit costly, but the peaceful feeling that came with the experience was simply worth it. I could just walk and walk and walk and hear nothing but my breathing and the birds and the leaves rustling with the blowing wind and my shoes scraping along the ground. It felt like meditating while walking, if there's such a thing.

The mixtape was lovely, thank you. I listen to it every night before falling asleep. Helps me forget that we haven't talked for a very long time, and it eases the pain of missing you, even though the apartment caretaker must have been so annoyed every time I asked him if there was a letter for me. Deep inside, I was hoping that you would change your mind and decide to write to me again.

I met someone. Her name's Hitch, she's a few years older than us and was a backpacker from UK before deciding to settle permanently in Hanoi. She was living in the same apartment complex I was staying at, so we often saw each other. I was actually grateful meeting her because she made the adjustment a whole lot easier— helping me find a temporary job in the office she was working at, introducing me to Vietnamese culture, and teaching me useful Vietnamese phrases, although thankfully a lot of people here know how to speak English.

I think she liked me. She said I could stay with her there and start a new life, told me bluntly that I looked like a lost child searching for a home. Maybe she was right. But did I like her back? I was wondering too. But I got my answer the night before I left for Tokyo. I want to spare you the details, Mik, but I think it's important for you to know. And this is definitely not a way to hurt you or anything. Please don't throw this in the trash.

She kissed me. And I know I'm the biggest asshole on Earth for hurting people who cares for me, but all I could think of /while kissing her/ was you. How it would feel like to kiss you, how your lips would taste like, while I run my fingers through your hair, and your hand on my nape pulling me in for more. The only image that my poor, useless brain could summon was you. Just you, Mikasa.

And just like that, everything came crashing down on me like cold shower early in the morning, jolting me awake. So yeah, I asked for Hitch's forgiveness. She was a wonderful woman who could easily find someone else, and I left for Tokyo as planned.

And now I'm here, thinking of how to say to you that I want to take my chances with you. That is, if you still want me.

/I think I'm in love with you, Mik./

/Maybe I'm in love? Kidding. I am./

/I want to be with you. I want to kiss you every day and hold your hand./

/I am in love with YOU, Mikasa./

Eren slams his fist at the table in frustration. He stares mournfully at the paper that is now nearly torn from all the erasures and scratches he made, before finally burying his head in his arms. Tired. So tired, he thinks, and he knows that it isn't as simple as fatigue from the plane trip or from climbing six flights of stairs to his room.

Since he arrived in his hotel in Tokyo, he immediately sat down and started to compose his letter, afraid to let the precious moments of clarity slip away from his fingers.

Yet four hours later, he still isn't satisfied, and he's starting to resent the universe, feeling betrayed that the right words seem to elude him at this most crucial time when he finally knows the answers to his questions. He likens the exhilarating feeling to that moment of comprehending a complicated math formula, when everything simply made sense to him.

But he just can't find the perfect words to express how he feels to Mikasa.

He lifts his head and stares some more at the letter.

"Screw it," he crumples the paper and runs out of the door.

"Mmm. Hello?" A groggy voice answers a call from an unknown number.

"Shit, what time is it there— ah, fuck— Mikasa? It's me."

Despite her half-asleep state, Mikasa's brain registers the familiar rough voice on the other line. She wonders if she's dreaming of hearing his voice again. It won't been the first time she mistook someone else's voice as his, anyway.

"Eren?" She asks softly, eyes still closed and hovering between wakefulness and hallucination.

"Yeah, it's me, Mik."

The voice sounds more solid this time, and her eyes fly wide open. She brings her phone to her face and stares at it. There is someone on the other line. She looks out of her window and gazes momentarily at the dark sky, before sitting up in her bed and checking the time— 2:34 am. What in the world is happening? She stares at her phone once more and pulls it back to her ear.

She could hear his heavy breathing, some fidgeting, and— distant car honks?

"I'm sorry, you must be really sleepy, I forgot about the time difference. I'll just call again in the morning—"

Shoot, she forgot to speak.

"No, no, please—" Mikasa quickly cuts him, anxious to keep the line. She curses herself for failing to hide the desperation in her voice, but she just needs to hear more of him. "—I'm fine. I... I think I'm awake now. A-Are you okay? Where are you?"

"Oh. I'm alright. Just a little tired. I arrived here in Tokyo today. Listen, Mik," Eren clears his throat, "I'm sorry."

She blinks rapidly, and places a hand over her chest— she could feel her heart beating painfully against her ribcage. This is the first time in a year that they will be having a conversation.

"Sorry? For what?"

"For not writing to you for several months, and for hurting you. You don't deserve that."

Oh.

Sure, it has crossed her mind that she may need to prepare herself for this conversation once he returns home, probably drawing up a speech where she would say that their friendship means more to her and to just forget everything in the letter and in the mixtape, but she did not expect this day to come so soon— not over the phone, not in the middle of the night, and definitely not when the heartbreak is still fresh on her mind.

"It's okay, E-Eren," his name doesn't roll off her tongue easily anymore, after not speaking his name out loud for months since she received his last letter. For her, it was a symbolic act that she will be strong without him, accepting that maybe this is all they will ever be: friends. She hardens herself and carefully utters her next words.

"I... I've been thinking about, uhm, a lot of things recently. Everything I said was a bad idea. And... you need your time and space. I, uhm, understand if you don't feel the same way, and it's okay, Eren. Please don't think about it anymore—"

"No!" Eren suddenly barks angrily on the other line, making Mikasa flinch. "I'm sorry— no— that's not what I— that's not true. I mean it is, but—"

Well, this is going fantastic, Eren shuts his eyes and breathes deeply. "Okay. I'm sorry for shouting, Mik. But also, no, you're wrong, just wrong."

Mikasa's brows furrow, confusion evident on her pale face. Is he trying to break my heart again? Does he really need to say those things to me again?

"Eren…"

"No, Mikasa. Let me finish first because long distance calls here aren't really cheap and I think I only have a few Japanese bills here."

She swallows hard and stays quiet, readying herself for Eren's painful words to fill the tense and uncomfortable silence.

"I tried writing to you earlier, but I just couldn't find the right words to tell you all this, it's so fucking frustrating.

"Look. I really was confused of my feelings for you, Mik. There were doubts, like are you my friend? Are you like the sister I never had?" Then he lowers his voice and mutters to himself, "Although I really am stupid, you don't wonder how it feels like to kiss your sister because that would be gross—"

"What?" Mikasa asks in a high-pitched voice, thinking if she heard Eren's words correctly.

"N-nothing! What I'm trying to say is—" here goes nothing, Eren exhales, "—I love you, Mikasa. I really do. And I'm so dense for not recognizing them early on, and I'm a coward for refusing to admit them for what they are.

"In fact, maybe I have loved you for so long, too. And maybe my doubts were always kind of true, because I do know you like a sister, I trust you like a friend, and I love you, uh, romantically, or whatever you call it. So it's a win-win for us, right?" Eren chuckles, finding his reflections quite amusing.

On the other hand, Mikasa finds herself tongue-tied upon hearing Eren's unexpected words. No, this isn't right, she thinks, as the armor she built in her heart dodges Eren's tender words. She couldn't accept this easily. For so many years, she has learned to live with the belief that her love for his childhood friend will forever be unrequited, this belief even strengthened by his last letter. Eren suddenly returning her feelings now just seem too good to be true. But—

"A-are you sure? Don't take this lightly, Eren," Mikasa bravely asks, still in complete disbelief at the turn of their conversation.

"I know, Mik. I'm sure. And even if I don't know what love means, I am definitely, completely, unquestionably sure that I want to be with you and learn how it feels like to love you every single day of my life. I don't want to waste any more of my time and just let something this big and meaningful pass by. I want to make you happy, Mik. I want to tell you every day that you're beautiful. I want to be there beside you."

Mikasa tries to fight back the tears that are now starting to fall, but they're just so adamant to leak out of her tear ducts. In the end, she stifles her sobs with the back of her hand.

"Uhm, Mik? I think now's the time to talk… Although I really understand if you've stopped waiting for me or you already have someone else or something because I would never presume that you would just lie around waiting for me when there are boys smarter than me who—"

"I love you, Eren," Mikasa blurts out in between her hiccups and sniffs. "I love you so much. There's no one else. There never will be."

Eren grins, his tense shoulders visibly relaxing. Armin's right, having one's love reciprocated is indeed the greatest feeling in the world.

"I love you, Mik. Please don't cry. I miss you so, so much. I'm coming home."

"Really? Wh-what about travelling?"

"Well, at first, going on a trip alone sounds fun and exciting, but eventually, I learned that it isn't as satisfying to discover the world on my own. That wherever I go, I always think of home, and my home is where the people I love are. But if I hadn't gone alone, I would never have known that. So, yeah, still no regrets.

"Besides, I think I have travelled enough to satisfy me for a decade. By then, we could go together, you know, when we're both not busy at work, you as a lawyer and me hopefully with a decent job. The world will be there for the both of us."

Mikasa smiles to herself, relishing over the fact that Eren thinks of their future together. The armor in her heart starts melting away, unable to contain the fullness that she feels.

"Okay," she wipes away the tears of happiness still streaming down her face.

"Okay, Mik. See you soon."

"See you later, Eren."

A/N: Please play "You, Me & The Sea" by Green River Ordinance at the end for maximum feels (it's also included in Mikasa's mixtape for Eren). The song expresses best the ending I want for the both of them, in this fic and even in canon. :)

Whew, I can't believe I finished this thing that was at first just a random idea to distract me from the latest SNK chapter. It's a short multi-chaptered fic, but I feel proud finishing something. Little wins, amirite?

I hope you enjoyed it, and please don't forget to leave feedback! You don't know how much your notes and comments mean to me. I remember them always. 💖 Again, thank you so much to everyone who read this, even if I'm just a newbie who got inspired by all the amazing fic writers here. See you soonest! If you want to connect, i'm polaris-thehunter at Tumblr!