Them

Auther's note: ...sooooo... this was a billion times harder to write than I thought it was gonna be but still I had fun with it. I really really liked the idea of Harucchi being non-binary and wanted to do some family fluff with Ryouskue...the timing just worked out ok. While I myself am not non-binary I do experience dysphoria (whaddup fellow trans-guys) so some of these descriptions and experiences are based loosely on my own. One hell of a fucking trigger warning for dysphoria because I know how shitty it is and don't wanna accidentally trigger anyone. please feel free to leave a review and let me know if there is any grammar, spelling shit I need to fix. Hope you like it!

'Aniki, I need to speak with you.'

Harucchi had sent that text ten minutes ago, and now, they were seriously starting to regret it. They loved their brother so damn much, and they knew that Ryousuke would be ok with it, but it's still not easy to come out. Especially with something as big as being non-binary.

Harucchi knew it since about the start of the school year. They had always known something was up with them, even as a little kid, but they just pushed it away. It wasn't until this year when they really put some thought into it, did they figure out the proper words to put to how they felt for so long. It honestly felt so freeing to finally understand that what they were feeling wasn't odd or wrong, they were just coming to terms with their gender identity.

They took a deep breath as they neared Ryousuke s door, attempting in vain to calm some of their nerves. They knocked quickly on the door twice and waited. Ryousuke answered it, grinning at Harucchi.

"Hello there, little brother," Ryousuke greeted. Harucchi winced involuntarily at Ryousuke unintentionally misgendering them, but the realization hit that they wouldn't have to deal with that much longer. After they told Ryousuke everything, it would be all good.

"Hi Aniki," Harucchi said shyly. Ryousuke threw an arm around them and led them over to his bed. Ryouskue plopped down on the bed, dragging Harucchi down after him. Harucchi grabbed one of Ryouskue's pillows and held it in their lap. They ran an anxious hand through their hair.

"You said you needed to talk?" Picking up on Harucchi's nervousness, Ryousuke kept his tone soft and comforting.

"I-I needed to-to tell you something," Harucchi stuttered. Ryouskue grabbed their hand.

"You can tell me anything," Ryouskue smiled brightly while ruffled Harucchi's hair affectionately. Harucchi took a deep breath.

Harucchi had always done what they felt most comfortable with throughout their life. Whether it be how they dressed, how they acted, or what they chose to do in general, They always did what they wanted to. Choosing to come out to Ryousuke was no exception.

They partially had Ryousuke to thank for helping them find out their gender. Ever since they were young, people always had a fixation with seeing them in cutesy clothes. Especially Ryousuke. Things like dresses, skirts, and anything else that was light and pretty.

At first, they didn't like wearing that kind of stuff, but as time when on, they started to enjoy it more and more. They would always get complimented by people telling them that they looked "pretty" or "adorable". Words like that always made them feel good in a way they couldn't describe though they now knew the feeling was gender euphoria.

It also helped that they didn't look stereotypically masculine. They had a rather pretty face with soft features. Because of this, they were never too uncomfortable with their looks in general, and all they had to do was dress to accentuate that to make them feel good about the way they looked. So if it weren't for Ryousuke forcing them into all those clothes as a kid, they didn't know where they would be now.

Harucchi squeezed their eyes shut for a moment, trying to calm down.

"I-I," Harucchi stammered, unable to force the words out of their mouth.

"It's ok, take your time," Ryousuke encouraged, grabbing Harucchi's hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I'm non-binary," they squeaked, barely above a whisper.

"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that," Ryousuke gave a small laugh in an attempt to ease some of Harucchi's obvious nerves. Harucchi took a long, shaky breath.

"I'm non-binary," Harucchi choked out, loud enough for Ryouskue to hear this time. Squeezing their eyes shut again, Harucchi waited for Ryouskue to say something.

They knew they should have no reason to be worried about what Ryousuke thought. They were about as close as siblings could get, and nothing could ever come between them. Also, the fact that Ryousuke was a flaming homosexual helped to quell some of Harucchi's fears of him being unaccepting. But at that moment, all rational thought went out the window and was replaced with panic. Ryousuke could still be transphobic even if he was gay. He could think Harucchi was lying for attention. He could not give a damn and go around telling everyone. He could—

"Hey," Ryousuke murmured, cutting through Harucchi's thoughts. Harucchi pried their eyes open to look at their brother. "Hey," Ryousuke spoke in a soft tone as if speaking with a frightened child. He brushed his thumb along the back of Harucchi's palm, trying to comfort him.

"Harucchi—" Ryousuke started but then cut himself off. "Is Harucchi still alright to call you or do you go by something else?" he calmly asked. That's when all of Harucchi's worries about what Ryousuke would think melted away.

They burst into tears and flung themselves into Ryousuke's arms.

"D-did I do something wrong? Oh I'm so sorry if I did," Ryousuke said nervously, griping onto Harucchi tightly.

"No," Harucchi sobbed, "no, you did everything right, and I love you so much."

Ryousuke let out a sigh of relief, "good," he breathed.

"Harucchi is still ok to call me, but the pronouns I use are they/them," they explained with far more confidence now knowing Ryousuke was going to be supportive.

"Consider it done," Ryousuke said while nodding. Harucchi let out a small giggle of excitement.

"Damn, I can't call you little brother anymore," he muttered. "'l'll need to think of something else," Ryousuke thought for a moment, "how about Kiddo, can I call you Kiddo?" he asked Harucchi. They smiled and nodded.

"Good," Ryousuke hummed, "now time for the inevitable string of questions I'm gonna ask you." Harucchi smiled again. This was going just as they hoped it would.

"If you're ok with questions," Ryousuke said seriously.

"I am," Harucchi nodded in confirmation.

"Alright," Ryousuke shifted so Harucchi was sitting pressed up against his side with his arm around their shoulder, "So how long have you known?"

"Well I've officially known since the beginning of the year, but I feel like I had some vague idea about it for most of my life," Harucchi explained. Ryousuke nodded.

"Have you told anyone else?" he questioned.

"Yeah Eijun, but he's the only one I've told,"

Harucchi thought back to the night they told him. Ok, so told might be a strong word...they kind of had a mental breakdown in Eijun's room and explained what they now knew was dysphoria, but at the time was just a collection of horrible feelings.

Eijun sat quietly and listened to Harucchi talk about how they hated when people referred to them in conversation, the interesting relationship with clothes they had had for their whole life, how small seemingly innocent comments about the way they looked would make them feel terrible for hours on end, how sometimes they couldn't stand the sight of their own body, and how everything made them want to scream because they just didn't understand why they felt this intense feeling of, just, something being wrong for their entire life.

Eijun sat and held Harucchi as they cried, then he explained what dysphoria was. He was so sweet, saying that he didn't want to tell Harucchi what he was feeling, but that it might be worth looking into. They sat there for hours that night, researching anything and everything that could possibly help Harucchi out. As soon as they read about being non-binary though, it clicked for them. Everything made sense, and they finally had the language to put to how they felt. It was so freeing.

"I take it he was excepting, because if not..." Ryousuke cracked his knuckles threateningly.

"No, no, no. He was so sweet about it, don't worry Aniki," Harucchi exclaimed.

"Good," Ryousuke gave a satisfied smile, "do you think you are going to want to tell anyone else on the team?"

"I will eventually but...not quite yet. I'm not ready," Harucchi sighed.

"Of course, take as long as you need," Ryousuke ruffled their hair, "but if you do ever want to tell them, I'll be happy to help if you want me to."

Harucchi grinned.

"Thanks, Aniki!" they cheered, looking up at Ryouskue happily. They both giggled. "I'll definitely want your help telling mom and dad though," Harucchi murmured.

"No problem, I got you Kiddo," Ryousuke gave Harucchi's shoulders a tight squeeze. "Is there anything you want to try out, like, I mean maybe wearing some make-up or jewelry?" Ryouskue questioned.

"Ya'know I've never thought about it before but now that you mention it, both those things sound like fun!" Harucchi laughed.

"I can definitely help you out with the make-up," Ryousuke grinned and fluttered his eyes, showing off the winged eyeliner he was wearing.

"Yeah, you're really good with make-up," Harucchi said.

"Awww thanks," Ryousuke nuzzled his head into Harucchi's shoulder.

"Aniki," Harucchi whispered. Ryousuke hummed in reply.

"Thanks so damn much for being so supportive and... and I just love you and—" they choked back a sob.

"Kiddo, I'm always gonna be there for you no matter what, and I'll always support you because you mean everything to me, and I love you," Ryousuke gave Harucchi a tight hug.

Harucchi just nodded and leaned into the embrace.

"Enough with all this serious shit though. Wanna just play a video game?" Ryousuke asked.

"Hell ya," Harucchi laughed, "Mario Kart?"

"Always," said Ryousuke.

They spent that whole night together talking, playing video games, and Ryousuke teaching Harucchi everything he could about make-up. Harucchi could not have asked for a better experience coming out to Ryouskue.