Thanks again to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I really appreciate it! I hope you enjoy the next chapter.

The next day after I got up and was sitting in the living room Alice rolled up the thin mat I had been sleeping on and brought it upstairs. Today went the same as yesterday; I wanted to go outside again and so I did. Alice dressed me the same and I went out to sit, thankfully it was another mild day and Edward sat next to me. After about an hour we heard the back door slide open and I turned first to my right to see who was approaching then remembered I could barely see out of that eye and turned the other way.

Charlie was approaching from behind me with shock written on his face 'Hey kid.' He said trying to reign in his facial expression. Edward got up as Charlie approached and offered him his seat, half-heartedly explaining his need to be somewhere else. 'How are you doing?' he asked as he approached me.

'I'm alright.' I told him as he sat next to me.

'Not too cold?' He asked me.

I shook my head 'No, Alice has me sufficiently layered.'

We sat in silence for a few minutes before he spoke again. 'It's good to see you outside Bells.'

'It's good to be outside.' I told him.

'Been a while, huh?' he said.

'Since the summer.' I agreed.

Another brief silence then 'How have you been holding up?'

'Better.' I said quietly and he nodded.

'You look a lot better, you've gained some weight and you have some colour in your cheeks.' He observed.

I nodded at this, not knowing what to say.

'You look more like yourself Bells; I can tell it's you behind your eyes now.' He continued.

'Eye.' I corrected him. 'I don't think I'm behind the eye I can't see out of.' I tried to make a joke but it just sounded sad.

'So you haven't got any of your vision back yet, huh?' he asked quietly and I shook my head at this. 'Have you heard about getting a new cornea at all?'

I shook my head again 'I think it's one of those things where I get called the day of.'

'Yeah you're probably right.' He said with a light sigh.

'How have you been?' I asked him, realizing I hadn't asked him this in a long time, not since before all this happened.

He huffed a laugh 'I'm fine.' He said.

'Seriously, Dad. How are you doing?' I turned to look at him critically on my left side.

He sighed this time and didn't answer turning to look at the forest. We sat in silence for a few minutes as I allowed him to gather his thoughts and put them to words. 'I find…' he said eventually 'That my well-being has been dependent on yours. So the better you are doing the better I find myself doing. But I can't seem to shake the anger in me.

'I'm angry, really angry about what was done to you, I find myself wishing that I could have been the one to finish that monster that hurt you. This I know is not healthy and I have decided I need to see a therapist about this.' Another short silence. 'Speaking of therapists, I hear you're still refusing to see one… Do you want to talk about it?' he asked me quietly.

I turned from him then and it was my turn to lapse into silence as I stared into the snow-covered leaf-less trees. 'Bells?' He asked me after a long pause and I sighed.

'I…' I started to speak but words failed me and I was silent again for a few moments before I tried again. 'Not… thinking about it is the only thing keeping me… sane.' I said struggling to find the right words. 'Whenever it's spoken about, or whenever I dream about it I- I… lose myself. I'm starting to come back to myself… I don't want to lose it again.'

I could feel his eyes on me, scrutinizing me 'You are doing remarkably well.' He said to me, 'But keeping everything inside, not talking about what happened to you and not talking about what you're feeling will eat you up inside eventually.' He told me.

'I don't want to be what I was again. I don't want to retreat inside myself. I see how it affects everyone around me and it's not fair to any of you when I dissociate or hear voices or try to hurt myself. I don't want to be that anymore.' I said and I could feel tears welling now.

Charlie turned in his chair to look at me now; I couldn't look at him though. 'Don't you dare worry about anyone else; we're all here to make sure that you get better. And if that involves helping you through a relapse then so be it. I hate that you might have to go through it again but you need to learn to sort through your memories and feelings and not suppress them. One day all of that pain and sadness is going to explode out of you and you won't be able to stop it.'

The silence hung heavy after that, I didn't know how to respond.

'How about I make you a deal.' He said and I looked over at him then meeting his eyes. This had become easier in recent days. 'If you see a therapist, I'll see one too.'

I looked deep into his eyes for a few moments before responding. Damn him. He knew exactly which buttons to push to get me to comply. I sighed deeply then nodded begrudgingly.

'Those are dirty tactics.' I muttered at him and he laughed. I sighed and leaned back in my chair resting my head against the wooden back. 'Fine.' I said.

'That's good, Bella.' I didn't look at his face but I could hear the smile in his voice.

Therapy, I soon figured out, was not for me. My therapist, Dr. Chalmers was a lovely lady in her late 30's early 40's, she had dark skin, caring dark eyes and beautiful tightly curled hair. She was sweet and caring with a calming voice and gentle demeanor. She was a fantastic listener and gave great advice. My issue with therapy wasn't my therapist, my issue was the flashbacks.

The only way I had gotten through what I had to this point was to keep my thoughts to myself, stop myself from thinking about the horrible things that had happened to me. Speaking about it, even the minimal amount that I had, had me reliving it over and over. Since therapy started I had gotten much worse than I was before, I felt like a shell again. Sometimes I would become almost catatonic barely responding to stimuli and other times I would be a terrified mess, hiding under the bed frame of the bed that still sat unused in the corner of my bedroom.

I caught snippets of conversations during my more lucid times and could hear Carlisle and Edward talking about reinserting the feeding tube that had been removed just days before therapy had started. I had been laying on the couch during this conversation and had been more lucid today than other days. I lifted up the blanket that was laying on me and noticed that indeed my ribs were becoming prominent again. I hadn't realized until just now that I really hadn't been eating much since this started.

'We need to stop this, Carlisle. It's making her so much worse.' I heard Edward's voice say in hushed whispers, he sounded upset.

'Not yet, Edward. Dr. Chalmers said that it's common for people to get worse before they get better, we need to give it more time.' Came Carlisle's calm voice in response. It sounded as though they were in the kitchen behind me.

'It's been a month Carlisle!' Edward's voice was raised now and I squeezed my eyes shut at this, raised voices still stressed me out. 'She is the same she was when we got her back.'

'Out, both of you.' Alice's voice sounded from by my head, she must have been sitting in the arm chair at the end of the couch. Silence greeted this and I was sure the three of them were having a silent conversation of mind reading, facial expressions and hand gestures. After a few minutes I heard them both walk up the stairs and close the door behind them.

'Hey.' She said after a few minutes and I opened my eyes, she was sitting on the floor in front of me. 'Sorry about them.' She said and I shrugged. 'Seriously Bella, they shouldn't have had that conversation down here.'

'He's right to be annoyed with me.' I said and I could hear how hollow my voice sounded, I couldn't remember the last time I had spoken.

'He's not annoyed with you Bella, he's worried about you- we all are.' She said.

'You should be annoyed.' I said 'I'm right back to where I was, like he said. I'm a useless mess; I should be back to normal by now.'

'Bella… It hasn't even been two months since we got you back, it would be impossible to hope you'd be back to normal by now. And honestly, it is unlikely you will ever be exactly the person you were before, it's impossible not to be changed by something like this.' Alice said sadly.

I didn't have any answer to this, I just looked beyond her.

'I cooked some dinner for you.' Alice said and this was enough to surprise me, when had an entire day passed by? 'Will you sit up and eat some?' she asked me and thinking back at what Edward said and what my body looked like I nodded even though I wasn't hungry.

'Will you come over to the table?' she asked me and I nodded.

When I stood I noticed how weak I felt, not only that, but I noticed that the newer clothes Alice had bought for me since my body was filling out a bit more were once again loose on me.

'Are you okay?' Alice asked me, noticing my change of attention.

I nodded and then continued to walk towards her and sat at the table. She had made me sausages, green beans and mashed potatoes. She had cut up my food for me, the same way she or Edward had done every day since I got back since I still didn't have use of one of my hands. I ate a couple of bites and realized that I was famished.

'Easy, Bella.' Alice warned quietly 'Not too much too fast or you'll be sick.'

It was at this moment when Alice had warned me against the speed with which I had been eating that I realized that I hadn't received permission to eat. Immediately I was back there and it wasn't Alice in front of me but Paul.

I stood suddenly and backed away from the table 'I'm sorry.' I said suddenly breathless and brought my good hand to my throat with the sudden panic. I dropped my eyes and went as quickly as I could to my bedroom.

'Bella, no… what?' I heard Alice say as I limped by her. I just barely registered that it was her voice speaking to me.

Once in my room I passed my mattress on the floor and crawled under the bed next to it curling up into a ball in the far corner. I closed my eyes and subconsciously began rocking back and forth trying to self soothe. That was when the voices started again, it had been so long since I had last heard them that it was harder to remember that they were just voices in my head.

You're worthless… useless… Then don't love you, you're a burden, a BURDEN! It would have been better for everyone if you had just died. He should have killed you; he would have done everyone a favour. You thought that you could just go back and live a normal life? You're nothing, less than nothing. You deserve NOTHING.

I didn't even realize that I was banging my head against the wall until I heard the bed shift and felt a pillow placed behind my head against the wall. 'Bella, it's okay, you're okay. Please stop.' Edwards voice this time, I had no idea if it was real or fake so I just curled more tightly into myself.

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry.' I muttered as the tears started, I didn't know what I was apologizing for or who I was apologizing to but I whispered it a few more times as if this might make things better.

I heard him say more to me but I was lost to it, I was lost inside of myself and once more fell asleep sad and afraid.

The next morning I woke up and noticed that I had been pulled out from under the bed while I slept and placed on my mattress. Next to me sat neither Edward nor Alice, not even Charlie but Dr. Chalmers my psychologist. While I was surprised to see her I was too exhausted to react.

'Good morning, Bella.' She said sadly with a small smile.

I was laying on my right side facing her and as the memories of last night came back to me I closed my eyes in embarrassment at how badly I had lost myself last night.

'Want to talk about it?' She asked me delicately and I shook my head. I most certainly did not want to talk about it.

'Your family told me what happened last night but I'd love to hear your perspective. Could I ask you some questions?' she asked me and I opened my eyes and nodded, resigned that this conversation was happening whether I spoke or not.

'Did Edward's and Carlisle's conversation upset you?' I shook my head no.

'Alice said that you thought you were useless and that everyone should be annoyed with you for not being back to normal by now.' I stared at her, this wasn't a question.

'Now that time has passed do you feel any different?' she asked me and I shook my head. She frowned at this 'Bella you went through a horrific life changing experience, no one expects you to be back to normal yet. Edward said what he said because he was concerned that you have been worse since you started therapy. He doesn't begrudge you for being worse, he's just worried and he wants what's best for you.' Again, not a question so I didn't answer, I just listened.

'Will you tell me what happened at dinner last night?' she asked me and I shook my head, I didn't want to talk.

'Can I ask you questions about it?' she asked and I nodded.

'Were you upset that Alice told you not to eat so quickly?' I frowned at this, of course I wasn't. I shook my head again.

'Did her words remind you that you hadn't had permission to eat?' She asked delicately and I swallowed before nodding, the memory stressing me out all over again.

'Flashback.' I whispered remembering how the Cullen's basement had turned into Paul's cottage and Alice herself had changed into Paul.

She nodded at this 'You were banging your head again after this, why was that?' she asked me.

'Voices.' I whispered staring off into the distance.

'You haven't heard these voices in a while, have you?' She asked and I shook my head.

'Yesterday was the first time in a long time.' I whispered at her.

She nodded and was thoughtful for a moment before speaking again 'Do you want to talk about how you've been feeling since you started therapy with me?'

'Lousy.' I said.

She nodded at this again before saying 'Unfortunately when you start talking about the things that trouble you it brings back unwanted memories, and in your case flashbacks. This will not last forever.' She really emphasized this last part. 'This is all part of the healing process, you would have experienced this eventually whether you started talking to me or not.'

'One thing I worry about though is how deeply depressed you are. I worry that you won't be able to get over this depression on your own.' She looked at me for a moment before saying 'How would you feel about taking anti-depressants?'

I shrugged at this; I was apathetic towards this recommendation. It wasn't lost on me that this was a symptom of depression.

'Will you try them?' she asked me and again I shrugged.

'Is that a 'you don't know' or 'you don't care'?' she asked with a small smile.

'Don't care.' I said quietly.

She nodded 'I avoided them at first because I wanted to get a feel for you first and I believe that the next step in your recovery is medication, I really don't think you'll get over this without it.'

'Whatever you think.' I said quietly.

After a few weeks on anti-depressants while still continuing therapy, things did indeed begin to improve. The medication improved my mood and made me more willing to participate in therapy. It made sharing slightly easier and the aftermath of the therapy sessions less traumatic. It also improved my appetite; I was able to again gain back the weight that I had lost.

I began going upstairs more often and sitting in the Cullen's living room with the family. While I wasn't quite ready to participate in their boisterous conversations and games I was finding it easier to sit among them. I was finding everything easier these days, making eye contact, holding a conversation and I had even managed to eat a meal or two without permission. At every meal Edward would give me a chance to try to eat without permission. He would wait a minute or two and if I wasn't able to manage it he would give me a gentle 'It's okay Bella, you can eat.'

Another thing that changed in this time was I was allowed to take my arm out of its sling. I wasn't allowed to do a lot with it yet but I was able to start some gentle stretches and strengthening exercises with it and I began trying to use it to cut my own food. My arm had become quite weak in its time in immobility and I was now trying to use it as often as possible.

Edward had become my physiotherapist and had been helping me with range of motion and strengthening exercises twice a day. My hand, wrist and elbow were all coming along well but it still hurt my upper arm to lift my shoulder too high. All things considered, my arm was doing much better than I would have thought possible after how badly damaged it was.

One morning I woke up and Edward wasn't next to me, I was alone in the bedroom. This happened so rarely that it always sent me into a mild panic. I got up quickly and walked to the door, I still had a slight limp in my gait and threw my bedroom door open. When the door swung open my sleep addled brain had trouble comprehending what I was looking at.

A confusing mixture of brightly coloured balloons and red and white Christmas decorations decorated the basement apartment and I paused in the doorway shocked.

'Hi Bella.' I heard a familiar but unexpected female voice say and I turned to look at the living room. Looking like she had just stood up from the couch along with Alice and Edward was my mom.

'Mom?' I asked, shocked. She nodded at me and gave me a small sad smile looking like she was going to cry.

'Yeah love, it's me.' She said as she walked towards me. I took the last few steps to meet her and we embraced. I felt her hands appraising my body, especially my ribs. Even though I had gained back some weight I knew I was still a lot smaller than I was before all of this happened and she confirmed it by saying 'Oh Bella…' sadly and holding me tightly.

'You didn't tell me you were coming.' I said into her hair.

'I wanted to surprise you.' She said pulling back from me and putting her hands on either side of my face appraising me. I could tell she didn't like what she saw but she didn't say anything.

'I'm definitely surprised.' I said as she let go of me.

'Really? No one spoiled it?' she said looking excited and I smiled back at her and shook my head enjoying how excited she was.

I then remembered the bizarre decorations around me and looked around 'What holiday threw up in here?' I asked.

'We missed Christmas and your birthday,' she said sounding sad 'I wanted to make it up to you.'

As much as I had no desire to celebrate anything let alone Christmas and my nineteenth birthday, one look at my mom's face had me reverting to my old ways and wanting to make her happy. I forced a smile and said 'Thanks mom, I've missed you.'

'Oh honey, I missed you too!' she said and then pulled me into another hug. 'How about breakfast?' she asked me and I had no choice but to say yes. I went to the bathroom and cleaned myself up and changed out of my pyjamas. When I was done I went and sat down with Edward and Alice on the couch.

'Thanks for giving me a heads up.' I murmured to them as my mom puttered around the kitchen making lots of noise drowning out our conversation.

'Sorry Bella, Alice wouldn't let me say anything.' He said as he put his arm around me.

She rolled her eyes at this 'I saw all of your reactions to every possible way this could have gone and I tailored it to you perfectly. You will have a great day.' Alice said and smiled smugly.

I smiled at her certainty shaking my head and leaned into Edward's side where he wrapped an arm around me protectively. Alice got up to help Renee while Edward and I sat on the couch for the next little while watching TV unable to hear it as the two of them made an inordinate amount of noise in the kitchen.

After a while we heard the door at the top of the stairs creak open and the heavy footfalls of someone who was definitely not a vampire coming down the stairs. I turned to look and saw Charlie enter the basement wearing a blue dress shirt and slacks and carrying a gift wrapped box and a bouquet of brightly coloured flowers.

'Hi Dad.' I said smiling at him.

'Hey Bells.' He responded with the same smile, happy to see me smiling.

'Gifts go upstairs!' Renee said with barely a glance at my father.

'Yes ma'am.' He muttered and sighed as he put the flowers on their side and climbed the stairs to put his gift upstairs.

As nice as it was to see him I felt my gut twist 'How many people are coming?' I murmured and Edward rubbed my shoulder reassuringly.

'That's it, just your parents.' He told me and I nodded, relaxing. 'Are you okay if Alice and I leave while you and your parents eat breakfast? Wanting to give you guys time alone will give us an excuse not to eat this meal. If you want me to stay that's okay too.'

'Of course.' I murmured 'I'll be fine.'

'Okay,' he said kissing the top of my head but if you need anything just whisper my name and I'll make an excuse to come back down.'

'Thanks Edward.' I said to him and he kissed my head again.

'Breakfast is ready!' My mother called as Charlie could be heard trudging back down the stairs. Edward stood and offered me his hand to help me up and I gratefully accepted still having trouble rising from the couch on my own. I noticed that my injuries were more sore than normal then I remembered the storm on its way and it made sense. I now ached when inclement weather was on its way.

Due to this I limped pretty hard because of the pains in my right thigh and ankle and needed Edwards support for the first few steps. Though they tried to be nonchalant I could feel my parents concerned eyes on me as I pulled my hand from Edward's and walked with some more confidence trying to control my limp better making it less pronounced.

I sat at the head of the table as had become habit, it was easier to see everyone sitting at the table when there wasn't someone immediately to my right who I wouldn't be able to see. Charlie came and settled on my right side and I turned to look at him.

'How are you doing today, kid?' he asked me.

'So far so good, a little worried about what's going to happen today.' I admitted.

'Oh come on Bella,' Alice said bringing a large plate of pancakes over and sitting it on the table 'don't you trust me?'

I looked at her skeptically and said 'You really want me to answer that?'

She gave me the saddest expression I'd ever seen and said 'I'm hurt Bella.' It was comically sad and I laughed slightly at her.

The hurt expression stayed on her face and I said 'I'm very sorry Alice, of course I trust you.'

Her expression changed immediately to her usual happy self and she said 'Good! Edward and I are going to go upstairs and finish getting things ready while you guys have breakfast.'

'You won't stay for breakfast?' Renee asked putting down a bowl that I had to turn my head to see, fruit. I noticed that Charlie didn't even give a second thought to the Cullen's not eating with us; he was so used to it by now. I wondered what he thought of that, how he rationalized having never seen any of them eat before.

'No thank you Renee, we want you to have a family breakfast just the three of you. We'll eat upstairs.' Edward said from behind me somewhere.

'Oh, alrighty. Well if you change your mind come on down, there's lots.' Renee said and Alice and Edward said thank you and walked up the stairs. Renee came around and put orange juice in front of all of our spots then went and grabbed the flowers Charlie had bought me. Someone- I assumed Alice- put them into a vase for me and Renee put them in the middle of the table.

'They're beautiful.' I said quietly, 'thanks dad.'

'Of course Bells.' He responded in the same tone I had used.

'Alright everybody, dig in!' My mom said.

'Thanks for breakfast, Mom. It looks really good.' I told her. 'And thank you for coming down, it's so good to see you.'

'I'm sorry it took me so long to get here, but there's nowhere else I'd rather be.' I smiled at her, she was too nice to say that she was told not to come until now.

'That's okay,' I said quietly 'you came at the perfect time.' I said and it was the truth. If she came while I was still so completely broken it would have broken her too. I couldn't do that to her.

She smiled at me sadly before shaking herself from her reverie and said 'Eat, eat!' Charlie needed no more prodding and started loading pancakes and fruit onto his plate, buttering the pancakes and putting syrup on them. I followed suit and shakily stabbed my fork into a pancake with my right hand and lifted it over to my plate. I was trying not to panic at the thought that Edward wasn't here to give me permission if I found I was unable to eat without it.

I took my time buttering the pancake and putting syrup on it. It also took me an inordinate amount of time to cut the pancake with my weak and uncoordinated left arm that was recently freed from the sling. Charlie had been able to refrain from asking if I wanted help, knowing that it was best for me to struggle. Renee on the other hand wasn't used to seeing me have such difficulty with basic tasks and asked me if she could help, I turned her down saying I needed to get used to doing these things for myself again.

Once the pancake was cut up I found that I couldn't put off eating any longer and I stared at the plate in front of me willing myself to eat it. With my fork in my right hand, my left hand clenched tightly into a fist as I felt my anxiety rising as I willed myself to just eat the damn food.

I could feel both of my parents eyes on me and heard my mother start to say something but was quickly cut off my something Charlie did, I couldn't see as he was on my right and I wasn't turned to look at him. At this knowing I was stressing them out I closed my eyes released a long slow breath, stabbed a piece of pancake blindly and put it in my mouth before I could second guess myself further.

I felt Charlie's warm hand on my forearm for a moment and I turned to look at him to see that he was smiling warmly at me. I gave him a small smile in response and looked back down at my plate not wanting to see Renee's expression. Sensing how uncomfortable I was with everyone watching me Charlie thankfully started up a conversation with Renee to divert attention from me. I was eternally grateful to him. It was in moments like this that I realize how alike I am to my father and not at all to my mother.

'How long will you be in town for Renee?' Charlie asked her.

'Oh,' she said, clearly distracted by watching me. I could see her turn to Charlie and say 'Just for three days unfortunately, they couldn't get a substitute to fill in for me beyond Monday.' I thought about this, today must be Saturday. I realized I had no concept of days of the week lately.

'That's too bad; at least you get a few days though.' Charlie said.

'I'll be glad when the summer comes, I'll be able to spend a lot more time down here.' Renee said then hastily added 'If that's what you want of course Bella.'

I smiled at her reassuringly 'I'd love to have you visit more.' I said genuinely.

She smiled back at me and turned to her food again and I did the same. I was very grateful that Charlie pushed to make small talk with Renee again asking about her life knowing that she would carry the conversation all on her own and I'd be free to eat with less scrutiny than I would if it was silent. I managed to finish a whole pancake and eat a few grapes when I sat back feeling full.

'Do you want more Bella?' My mom asked almost immediately after I leaned back and I shook my head.

'No thanks Mom, I'm full.' I told her and she gave me a skeptical look so I said 'Honestly I am, I can't eat as much as I used to.' At the look on her face I clarified 'It's getting better though, I'll be back to eating normal Bella amounts soon.' I reassured her and she smiled sadly at me and nodded.

Even though Renee and Charlie ate a lot more than I did they still finished before me. They had resumed their conversation when I reached my hand out to where I knew my glass of orange juice was on my right side. I stupidly didn't turn to look at it and my hand collided with it sooner than expected and I knocked it across the table towards Charlie who quickly backed his chair up to avoid it.

What did I say about MESSES?! Paul's enraged voice roared through my head and quickly stood from my chair toppling it with the force of my stand. I took a few small steps backwards and stopped when I felt the feet of the chair touching my heel and calf.

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.' I quickly whispered in fear covering my mouth with my hands unable to comprehend how stupid I was. He was going to beat me for this for sure; he made it very clear that he wouldn't tolerate messes. With chest heaving in terror I saw a man approaching me and I tripped over the chair trying to back up more. I fell hard banging my back and head against the counter, I had tried to catch myself with my right arm which helped to break my fall a bit. I was thankful I didn't try to use my left arm.

I was huddled behind the fallen chair with my back pressed firmly against the counter of the kitchen island with my knees pressed to my chest and arms tucked between my legs and chest protectively. I could feel myself shaking slightly from fear as I saw a man slowly approach me and sit on the floor a few feet in front of me. I saw the chair move from in front of me pushed somewhere out of my reach.

'Bella?' I heard a familiar male voice ask 'Bella it's okay, there's nothing to be afraid of.' I huddled in on myself further tucking my face against my knees whispering 'I'm sorry.' Over and over again.

The room was silent for a few moments before the sound of a chair scraping gently across the floor broke the silence. 'Bella?' I heard a woman's voice ask. A woman's voice? Why would Paul have a woman here? I wondered to myself. 'You're okay Bella.' She said to me and it was then that I realized I knew the voice.

I looked up at her then still unable to clearly see the man on my right whom I thought was Paul. 'Mom?' I asked looking up at her and she smiled and nodded at me scooting a little bit closer to me. She was on her knees on the floor in front of me. Why would my mom be with Paul? I asked myself then looked to my right and realized the man I thought was Paul was my father.

I felt sick; I couldn't believe that even for a second I had thought my own father was my torturer. I pulled my hands out from between my legs and chest and covered my face with them groaning softly. 'I'm sorry.' I said again but this time it wasn't a whisper but a sad groan.

'You have nothing to be sorry for Bella.' My father said. 'Do you know where you are?' he asked and I nodded.

'Cullen's basement.' I said face still behind my hands. 'I'm so sorry.' I said again for what felt like the thousandth time. 'For thinking you were him.'

The room was silent again for a few minutes and my mom asked me 'Where did you go sweetheart?' I pulled my hands down off of my eyes but left them crossed over my mouth for a minute as I thought about this.

'Back in time.' I whispered pulling my hands free from my mouth and tucking them securely between my legs and body once again. 'Flashback.' I whispered and set my chin on my knees.

'What caused the flashback Bells?' Charlie asked me gently and I turned to look at him. 'Was it me?'

I shook my head, 'Mostly spilling the juice.' I said then was quiet for a moment before saying very softly 'He… he didn't tolerate… messes.' Another silence before I spoke again 'When you stood suddenly I was back there… I thought he was going to hit me.'

'I'm sorry Bells…' Charlie said and I shook my head.

'Don't be, you didn't do anything wrong.' I whispered and watched him as he slowly slid himself across the floor to sit on my right side, his left side barely touching my right. I found myself immediately leaning into the warmth of his body and resting my head on his shoulder closing my eyes. I was proud of myself, the fear of the moment passed as soon as it had started.

Charlie wrapped his arm around me gently and I enjoyed the warmth of his body realizing that the fear mixed with sitting on the floor and my terrible circulation had made me quite cold. I heard the floor creaking then felt my mom take my left hand into her hands.

'Sorry Mom.' I said quietly 'I had plans to pretend I was normal… that went belly up immediately.'

'You don't have to pretend for me, Bella. I want to help; I can't do that if you pretend that you're fine.' My mom said to me holding my cool hand in her warm ones.

'I know, you're right, I'm sorry. I really am improving, I promise. I don't want you to go away thinking you're abandoning me and I'm a broken mess. I was a broken mess but I think I've improved, not sure if other people think that.' I said looking to my father.

'You have definitely improved.' He murmured 'That's the quickest I've seen her snap out of a flashback.' He told Renee.

She smiled at me comfortingly 'I'm so proud of you, sweetheart.'

'Thanks Mom.' I said quietly, gently squeezing her hand.

We sat in silence for a few minutes before my dad shifted, clearly uncomfortable sitting on the floor. I sighed 'Sorry,' I said 'we should get off of the floor.'

'We should probably head upstairs soon before they come looking for us.' My mom said.

'Do we have to?' I groaned. If I didn't want to be celebrated earlier, my distaste for it increased tenfold after having this episode.

'Oh it will be fine.' My mom said standing up and offering me her hand 'We wouldn't make you do something that you would hate or couldn't handle.' When I looked at her skeptically she said 'Do you think Edward would have even entertained the idea if there was a chance you would be uncomfortable.' I thought for a moment then assented giving her my good hand to help me up.

I went off to my room to get ready then and felt my anxiety continue to build in my chest.

Let me know what you think!