Journal Entry Seven
I'm not sure how long I have to write this entry, at the moment I'm hiding since Hydra has chosen to show themselves. Agent Hand and myself have implemented the last part of my undercover mission that we had started a few years ago. Now, I am pretending that I am a Hydra soldier, loyal to Garrett, but I am a triple agent. I am a SHIELD Agent, loyal to the very end, loyal to my team, my superiors, and loyal to my government. I will bring down Hydra from within. Going into this mission, I knew I would have to make difficult decisions, but I am now realizing that I might have to do things that I will regret. Hopefully, the contingency's that Agent Hand, Hill and myself will work. I have already done a few things that I have already regretted, though I am grateful that Agent Hill is already on top of it, that I was able to send a message to her before all of this began. I just hope that my teammates will forgive me. And I think that is the main reason for this journal, that just in case something happens, there will be a record, an explanation of the reasons, of the actions that I took.
So, at the moment I want to discuss the actions that I have taken in these last few days, and hopefully give a good explanation. Once Hydra was revealed to be out in the open, Garrett revealed who he really was working for. While taking Garrett to the Fridge, Agent Hand and myself implemented the plan. I had shot Hand and the two trusted SHIELD agents that came with us with an ICER, however, I had made a few modifications. Instead of a blue dye, it now had red dye, the sedative works longer, looks like a real bullet and was shot with a regular Glock, so it looked like an actual gun. Once that was done, I was able to convince Garrett to drop them off in a field of grass where I had activated a beacon, then we left. I went and freed Raina from prison. I remember her asking how I could betray Coulson and my team, I just put up a mask of indifference and told her a skewed version of events, she left me alone after that. We then went to the Fridge so that Garrett could release the prisoners and cash in on some weapons, however, luckily, Hand had gotten my message, the weapons were moved, although, they didn't have time to move the prisoners. so, they were able to escape. However, Garrett and Raina found out that they couldn't get into the flash drive, so I needed to go back to my team. I managed to find the secret base and when I learned from Skye that to get into the flash drive was location base, I dreaded what I had to do. Of course, apparently Skye had quote unquote found out that I was Hydra, I knew I could never truly hurt anyone from the team, so she was able to escape eventually and without injuries. Of course, she now hates me as I'm sure the rest of the team does as well, but that is for the best at the moment. If they truly believe that I'm Hydra, then their reactions will be genuine, and my cover won't be blown with Garrett. I'm hopeful that both Hill and Hand are able to pull off deceiving the team until I'm able to get enough information to take down Hydra.
So, now I am hiding out on the BUS, luckily, I know it better than anyone else currently on the plane. Hopefully, now the team is together again, and Garrett still can't get into the flash drive, I can now truly focus on taking down Hydra and Garrett without worrying about my team. Of course, knowing my team, they wouldn't take my betrayal sitting down. I am hoping that Garrett won't ask me to do much now, now that the flash drive is useless.
So now that I've explained what has happened, this journal is truly about my emotions. So here it goes; I am nervous, terrified, frustrated, angry and most of all sad. I hate being in the presence of Hydra, and especially Garrett, since they believe that they had truly broken me, that the torture that they put me through made me give up the values and morals that is instilled inside of me, that the pain of what happened erased all of the good inside of me. What they don't know, is that the pain, the despair, that is what has kept me going until the end. The need to save innocent lives has invigorated me with the strength and courage to keep fighting. To fight for the truth. To fight for the underdog. To fight for the men and women, to keep them safe and whole. They are the ones who made me who I am today, and they don't even realize it yet. That the day when they took me and tortured me, was the beginning of the end for them, and soon it will be their reckoning when I take them down. It will give me great pleasure, when looking into their eyes and Hydra realizes that they didn't break me.
Anyways, I should be going before someone starts to miss me. I don't want anyone to get suspicious of me and start looking at me more closely.