"Midoriya! You should not be sleeping before class! It is highly disrespectful!" UGHHHHHHHHHH!

"And it's rude to interrupt someone while they are sleeping. Your point? Actually, I don't want to hear it. I'm traumatized enough. I don't need you adding to it, Iida."

"What- Midoriya, you are still in school! You can not be sleeping during school time! You are representing the class in a terrible matter!"

"Sir, I barely made it to school because of depression and my body being completely numb. Please leave me alone before I knock your ass out."

Of course, the man who made me this way has to call out from his nap, "Five minutes."

I shut the fuck up after that. I am not willing to kill myself because my cursing. I'll just curse in English. He can't count that towards me, right? Not everyone is that fluent in it.

Either way, welcome to my hell! To give you an idea of how bad it is, Mom was so worried I was going to pass out on the way to school that she walked with me! 10/10 mom skills! This is after the fact I passed out the moment I got home on the couch and did not get up for even food! DO YOU KNOW HOW SCARY IT IS TO MOM FOR ME NOT TO GET UP FOR FOOD?! BITCH, IF I'M SICK LIKE A DOG, I STILL ASK FOR SOMETHING! SURE, IT'S PROBABLY BREADSTICKS, BUT IT'S STILL FOOD!

Of course, after Mom managed to get me to talk about what happened, she said, "Maybe you will learn something here."

UH, NOT IF I DIE FIRST!

Eventually, class does start, and the bane of my existence goes to the front of the room, "I looked over your stimulations." Aizawa starts, and he goes over what everyone did wrong. Honestly, I don't pay attention until he reaches Kacchan, "Bakugo, you have the potential to be a good hero. However, blasting your classmates with that kind of firepower was unnecessary and illogical. Sometime this week, you're required to visit Hound Dog once."

YES-

Wait. Hold up.

I, someone with actual mental problems, am being beat up by Aizawa. Meanwhile, Kacchan gets therapy?! AND HE CAN DO IT WHENEVER?! WHERE WAS THIS OPTION FOR ME?!

I tap on my desk to get Kacchan's attention, who is in front of me, "Hey, I'll trade one detention with Aizawa for that therapy."

Kacchan scoffs, "Get lost, Deku!"

Aizawa sighs, looking at me, "We'll talk about that later. For now, good job on using your intelligence instead of your quirk. The only problem is that you can't punch people after the session. That detention is still valid." Damn it!

He finishes explaining everyone's issues and moves onto something else, "Today, I have some bad news," He goes quiet, and you can see the kids freaking out. Honestly, I'm invincible after Aizawa's workout, "You will be choosing a class president and vice president. I don't care how you do it. Just have it done by the end of class."

With that, the man goes into his bright-yellow sleeping bag and passes out.

Immediately, everyone starts screaming that they want to be it and reasons why.

Here's the thing: class president means work. I'm too lazy to do work. Therefore, I don't want to be class president.

I clear my throat, catching everyone's attention somehow, "Look, I don't care who gets it as long as it isn't Mineta. If he gets it, I'm dropping out and becoming a vigilante."

Mineta, a fucking perverted grape boy, interrupts to try and defend himself, "HEY!-"

Before he has a chance, my head crashes on the desk to sleep.

You know, I expect to either be waken up immediately by Iida or after class.

I didn't expect to be in the middle of class.

I am nudged by Ducktape Boy beside me, "Dude, you might want to wake up."

I don't get a chance to sit up when screaming fills my ears, "WHO IN THE HELL CHOSE THE NERD?!" What is Kacchan yapping about? I am so confused.

"Uh, what happened?" I ask hesitantly.

Iida clears his voice awkwardly, "Well, we did a voting on who should be class president and vice president. You won president and Yaoyorozu won vice president." It takes me a moment to respond.

"Excuse me, I think there was a glitch in my hearing. What?"

"Youare president and Yaoyorozu is your vice."

I sigh, "Aizawa-sensei is probably going to kick me from that position, so I'm recommending you for president. Besides, I'm not willing to put in the effort to watch over y'all."

Iida becomes nervous, "I do not think that is allowed, Midoriya-" Thank fuck I don't have to argue with him more because Rock Boy comes into play.

"If that's who Midoriya votes for, I can agree with me!" Other classmates join him, making my life much easier.

Iida accepts his fate, "I promise to uphold classroom standards and support everyone here to the best of my ability!"

Okay, he can shut up now.

After Aizawa confirms the two, he gets on with class.

Overall, it's a simple day. It had lots of sleeping and talking about musicals with Present Mic.

That simplicity is ruined at lunch.

"Hey, Deku! Come sit with us!" Uraraka calls from her table with Iida. I don't remember approving that nickname, but it could be worst!

I sit down with my goddamn sexy Katsudon, and we start a normal conversation. Impressive for me, right? Anyway, it lead to Iida revealing he is Ingenuim's brother (shocker) and wants to follow the family line of heroes and that Uraraka is becoming a hero for the money. Kind of. Her family owns a construction company that's currently in the shits right now, so she wants to become a hero to finance that. I guess it can be seen as going for the money, but it's for her family. I can't criticize that. There are different ways of being a hero besides saving people, after all.

Either way, that's not why my lunch was ruined.

IT WAS RUINED BECAUSE THE GODDAMN PRESS SOMEHOW BROKE IN!

I mean, I don't think they broke in specifically, but the teachers should be smart enough to figure that out. They would be heroes if they had that kind of quirk.

Let me rewind to that scene.

Uraraka, Iida, and I are having casual conversation when the alarm goes off.

"What the fuck is that?" I ask with a snap. I don't like being interrupted when I am eating.

Iida informs me, "That is a level three! That means somebody has broken onto the premises! We should evacuate!"

I almost get up to do such thing, but the moment I see a sea of children crowding the door in a panic, I decided against it.

"Sir, you must be insane if you think I will go in that. Those fuckers can kill me after I eat my Katsudon, " I say casually as I start to eat. However, when I look out the windows, I only see the press, "Uh, I don't think we have anything to worry about when it's just the dogs."

"That is inappropriate to say about somebody!"

Uraraka, thankfully, defends me, "I mean, he ain't wrong."

I clap my hands, "Bless. Now, before you stop this Mister Class President, I would like to test something."

Iida chops the air, "Is this really the time to do it?!"

"Yes," I say, standing up for the most important moment of my life.

I clear my voice, and scream, "HIT OR MISS!"

A familiar voice from my class echoes through the crowd, "I GUESS THEY NEVER MISS, HUH?!"

"YOU GOT A BOYFRIEND, I BE HE DOESN'T KISS YA, MWAH!"

"HE GONNA FIND ANOTHER GIRL AND HE WON'T MISS YA!"

"HE GONNA SKRRT AND HIT THE DAB LIKE WIZ KHALIFA!"

I grin, spinning the Iida and cutting him off before he can complain, "Kaminari Denki is now my new best friend. Okay, Uraraka, could you levitate Iida to the front?"

Uraraka nods, "Uh-huh!" She must have known he would lecture me because she slaps his hand and starts flying him there without his permission.

When Iida reaches the front, he replicates the exit sign, "Everything is fine! It is just the press! Everyone please return to class!"

Wait, I have to go back to class instead of finishing eating?! NOPE!

I took my entire plate with me into the classroom. Did I get looks? Yes. Did I get detention? Surprisingly, no. In fact, Aizawa told me to keep eating. Probably to shut me up, but I'll take it!

Hero class didn't happen. I assume All Might went over his time limit. Either way, that means I had to deal with Aizawa talking about quirk laws he slammed into my head.

Obviously, that does not stop my brain from wandering off and coming up with a brilliant idea. I pull out my phone right in the middle of class and text Yagi to meet me at the beach after detention.

Now that I did get detention for, but it will be worth it! When Aizawa ask about it in detention later, I quote,

"Do you seriously want to know what I text on my phone when you know who I am?"

That got him to shut up, but now he is requiring me to turn my phone in at the beginning of the day and pick it up at the end. Oof, but oh well.

Before the end of class, I slip my number to Kaminari to text me later. Somehow, I manage to skip Aizawa's radar. I guess he is only human, so I'll take my luck!

Honestly, this is all irrelevant to me, so time for the actual tea!

"Young Midoriya, are you okay?!" Yagi has the nerve to ask as I stumble to the beach like a drunk person.

I offer him a wide grin, "Never! But this is really important!"

"What is it, my boy?"

"I have come up with the perfect way to save our asses in case we get caught!"

"Language, but what is it?"

"It's time for your daily meme test!"

Yagi nods, "Alright, I'm ready."

"You know that one Starwars meme?"

"Uh...the father one or baby Yoda?" I nearly start crying.

"OH MY GOSH, YOU KNOW BOTH OF THEM! I AM SO PROUD! I'm talking about the father one. Can you say Darth Vader's line?"

Yagi shifts into his form for this, "I am your father!" Of course, he drops into his depression after, but he does it perfectly.

Now I am crying.

Yagi immediately approaches me, "Young Midoriya, are you okay?!"

I nod, "Yeah. I'M JUST SO PROUD! YOU'VE GROWN SO MUCH!" I clear my voice," Anyway, you passed. The reason I asked for that scene is because I believe we should act that out whenever people are suspicious of us, we just act that out. They will question it so much that they will forget what they were doing!"

Yagi taps his chin, "I don't see why not. It would be amusing to see that."

"You're starting to pick up on some of my traits."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Nope! It's perfect! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go die on the couch because those detentions are ruthless! See you, Yagi!"

Yagi says a hesitant bye as he watches my pitiful self stumble out of the scene.