-One month later-
It was half past three in the morning. Aster walked down the cracked sidewalk of the neighborhood, her hands shoved deep in her cloak. She wandered aimlessly, and ended up at the park a few blocks away from 12 Grimmauld Place.
Sitting on the swing, she swayed back and forth slightly, dragging her feet through the woodchips. It was different, living at the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. All things considered, she supposed she was adjusting well.
The Weasley family had arrived a week after she and Sirius had, and Mrs. Weasley had spent a lot of her time attempting to fix up the house. Sirius and Aster hadn't done much in ways of cleaning, Sirius because he kept harping on Kreacher to clean, and Aster because she barely came out of her room. Then Harry arrived a month later, and Aster had spent time trying to know her brother.
Harry was nearly expelled from Hogwarts, because a dementor had attacked him and his cousin- their cousin- Dudley. What an awful name that was. Harry was saved by Dumbledore, thankfully, but there was something that still troubled him. Aster and him were not quite close yet, as she spent most of her time in her room, but she knew he talked with Ron and Hermione.
Kreacher was an interesting house elf. He was kind of a dick, but he liked Aster just a little bit because she was a Slytherin. He absolutely hated Sirius, and the two of them would go at it near constantly.
As for Sirius, Aster found she really liked him. The first week she stayed at Grimmauld Place, before everyone arrived and the place became a bustle of activity, he would spend the days with her in her room. Aster wouldn't leave the bed much, and Sirius just spent time with her, telling stories of her parents and the mischief they got into. He didn't pressure her to leave the room, he didn't tell her she should be coping better, he just gave her company.
Mrs, Weasley, on the other hand, made her wake up every morning and at least have a cup of tea. She wouldn't let her leave the table without eating a piece of toast, no matter how much Aster protested. She learned it was better to swiftly drink the tea and choke down the toast, before heading back to her room. She knew Mrs. Weasley wanted to force her to do more, but Sirius stepped in for her.
Aster was trying to cope better. Honestly.
That was why she would take her midnight walks, when everyone in the house was silent and asleep, while she laid awake staring at the ceiling. So far, no one had seemed to notice her walks. She figured they would have said something, if they had. Especially Mrs. Weasley. Aster had never had a mom, but if having a mom was having someone breathing down her neck nearly all the time, then was glad she didn't have one growing up.
Approaching footsteps grabbed her attention, and she dug her feet into the ground, glancing down the road where the sound was coming from. A big black dog was trotting over to her, wagging his tail.
"'Lo, Padfoot," Aster greeted, gliding her fingers over the top of his big head. He sat on his haunches, butting his head against her leg. "Glad it's you who found me and not Mrs. Weasley."
Sirius let out a bark that sounded more like a laugh, his tail thumping the ground. Aster scratched his ears.
"I'm glad Harry finally got here." Aster paused, biting her lip. "I checked on him, before I left. I heard him say Cedric's name, in his sleep. It sounds like he's been having nightmares."
Sirius whined, rubbing his head against her leg.
"I didn't really think how his death would affect him," conceded Aster, exhaling loudly. "I forget sometimes, that he was there when- when it happened."
The flames licked at Aster's caved out chest, and she held her arms against herself. Sirius rested his head on her lap, a sigh coming out from his dog nose.
"He was really mad at Ron and Hermione," continued Aster, pulling an arm away from her chest to scratch at Sirius' ears. "He was so upset that he was left at the Dursleys… I almost want to pay them a visit, see what they're like. I know you said Petunia is nothing like my mother was, but still.. They're family. That counts for something, doesn't it?"
Sirius shook his head, a sharp bark coming from his throat. Aster smiled slightly, shaking her head.
"Guess not," Aster sighed. "Oh well. Sounds like it isn't much of a loss. I feel bad for Harry.. Can't he just stay here with us? You know, after we both come back from Hogwarts? It's a good thing he didn't get expelled."
Sirius whined, thumping his tail, and Aster nodded. "Right." The blood protection spell. Dumbledore had explained as much to them already.
Aster got off the swing, and began walking further down the street. Sirius trotted alongside her, his tongue lagging out of his mouth. He was content to be outside, she knew, because he wasn't allowed out of Number 12 Grimmauld Place hardly ever. Aster enjoyed his company.
As the sky began to lighten, turning a murky orange shade, Aster made her way back to the house, Sirius following alongside her. She normally would not have stayed out so late, but with Sirius she felt safer to do so.
Unfortunately for them, Molly Weasley was bustling about the kitchen as they entered, and no matter how quietly they crept in, Sirius remaining in his dog form, that woman had ears as sensitive as a cat.
"Just where do the two of you think you're off to?" Molly demanded, emerging from the kitchen with a wooden spoon in hand.
Aster shrugged, a yawn escaping from her mouth. Sirius tried to creep into the living room, but Molly swished her wand, causing the rug he was on the fling backwards, sending him tumbling towards them.
"Sirius, you are a grown man, change back, now." demanded Molly once more, crossing her arms and giving them both a crass look. "To the kitchen, now."
Sirius changed back into his human form, giving Molly a sheepish grin as he followed Aster to the kitchen. They sat at the dining table, Aster's chin in her hand. Sirius gave her a playful grin, and Molly Weasley huffed at them as she entered the kitchen after them.
"You both know how dangerous it is to be out there, alone, with no protection." Molly began, slamming the cupboards around.
"I was protecting him, he was protecting me." Aster replied blandly, raising an eyebrow.
Molly glared at her. "What would've happened had a Death Eater stumbled upon the two of you? You can't use magic outside of school yet, and Sirius isn't even supposed to be around!"
"Well," Aster drawled out, annoyance flashing through her. "I guess if a Death Eater would have came across us, I would have been killed, and Sirius could run off into the forest like he was just a regular old dog scared of the green light. He would have come back, I would have been dead, I see no downsides."
"Do not speak like that!" Molly shouted at her, slamming a cup down in front of her. "Think of what that would do to those who care about you!"
The flames licked at the hole in her chest, and Aster became angry. "Who exactly might that be, Molly? The man who raised me as his own no longer speaks with me, my boyfriend is dead, and all you like to do is bitch at me! Sirius cares about me, but at least he's got Harry and Remus. He'd be fine! For anyone else, it would be just another day."
Aster stormed off from the table, ignoring the words Molly and Sirius called after her. She ran to her room, ignoring the portrait of Sirius' mother who started screaming once she had stomped past her, and slammed her door hard. She locked the door with her wand, ensuring no one would be able to enter.
She tore the covers off her bed, and laid on the bed. She stared at the ceiling, breathing hard. Today was supposed to be a good day. Having Sirius with her on her midnight walk was supposed to bode well for the rest of the day. Why did Molly fucking Weasley have to ruin it?
As always, when she found herself alone and upset, her mind went to Cedric. He would have been so shocked to hear her outburst, as she was never like that before. And if he had witnessed it, he would have followed behind her, and laid with her on the bed. He would have whispered calming words in her ear, tracing circles on her arm.
Tears burned at her eyes, and she blinked them back. They spilled out of the corners, wetting her hair. Another setback. She had thought she was doing well. What was she going to do when she got to Hogwarts? She couldn't have constant breakdowns like this.
Somewhere in her thoughts, she ended up falling asleep, and she woke again, it was to the sounds of hushed whispers outside of her door. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she quietly crept to the door, and placed her ear up against it.
"Sirius, this cannot keep going on as it has," The muffled voice of Molly Weasley came through, sounding concerned and upset. "This is not normal behavior. She is not coping, and allowing her to stay locked up in her room all day isn't helping! How is she expected to attend Hogwarts, if she cannot last more than ten minutes out of her room?"
"Maybe she isn't quite ready to go back to Hogwarts," Sirius responded quietly. "How d'you think it will affect her when she goes back and everywhere is a reminder of him?"
"Sirius, you stop that thought right there," Molly bit back sharply. "First, you were upset that Harry wasn't actually expelled from Hogwarts so he wouldn't live here with you. Now, you're suggesting Aster doesn't return just so you can have her instead? Merlin, you are selfish!"
"I'm just trying to think of her mental health, Molly," Sirius snarled the name, his voice hard and mad. "As much as I don't want them to leave me again, I know they need an education. But you weren't here that first week! She was so awful, Molly, you haven't a clue. How would you feel if she went back to Hogwarts and offed herself from the Astronomy tower?"
"Why on earth would you even put that thought out there?" Molly nearly shrieked, and then quieted again. "She has friends at Hogwarts, and you know my children will watch out for her."
"Oh yeah, friends," Sirius mocked. "Like Pansy Parkinson? You haven't talked to her, Molly, you have no idea if she's got friends. I have. I know that no one in Slytherin is friends with a girl as kind and sweet as her."
"All the more reason to make her come out of her room and make friends with the kids!" Molly huffed out. "Sirius, have you even really looked at her? The poor girl is skin and bones! She was never like that, she used to be so beautiful, I saw her at the Final Task, the girl now is a mere slip of the girl that used to be!"
"Aye," someone cleared their throat, and Aster recognized the gravelly voice as Alastor Moody. "You lot realize she's hearing every word you say, behind that door?"
The door unlocked, and Aster stumbled back as Moody opened the door. Sirius and Mrs. Weasley both looked sheepish and apologetic as they looked at Aster.
Aster didn't know what to say. Her heart thudded in her chest, as she looked at the two adults that had been arguing about her.
"I'm not going to off myself." were the intelligent words that came out of her mouth.
Mrs. Weasley and Sirius both opened their mouths at the same time, but Moody cut them off.
"Aster," Moody fixed her with a look. "Get dressed, I'm takin' ya with me to Diagon Alley."
"Alastor-" Molly began, but he shut her off with a look.
Aster nodded woodenly, and shut her door. She slipped her robes off, and the cotton pants and tank top she wore underneath, and paused as she looked in the mirror.
Molly had been correct. As Aster looked in the mirror, the hatred for herself grew. She could see every rib, count them individually. She could see where her hip bones jutted out, the sharp lines hard and jagged across her pale skin. Her once luscious curves that had made Pansy jealous were all but forgotten. Her face was so much sharper, her cheekbones taught and spider web lines of yellow and blue etched onto her features. Deep purple sat under her hollowed out eyes, and her nose looked so much harsher with her skin pulled so tightly across it.
Tears came to her eyes, and with her bony fingers she swiped them away. She had thought she was coping, maybe not good, but at least okay.
The mirror was haunting her. She quickly pulled on her short black skirt and a white sweater, tugging her plain black robes on after it. As always, Cedric's scarf remained around her neck.
Moody was waiting for her downstairs by the fireplace, his arms crossed as he leaned into his cane. Sirius was waiting as well, and he pulled Aster into a hug when she crossed into the room.
"I'm sorry you heard us," Sirius said into her hair. He pulled away, and touched her chin. "We're all worried about you."
"I know." replied Aster quietly, stepping towards Moody.
"Alright then, we're traveling by Floo," Moody held out a jar of the green powder. "And please, for the love of all, speak clearly. Don't end up in Knockturn Alley like your brother."
"It was one time!" Harry's voice came from the other room, followed by laughter.
Aster felt hollow. She didn't know why it bothered her to realize that the Weasley kids and Harry hung out so much. Maybe it was because she didn't have a friendship like that.. It was probably just her jealousy.
Moody went first, into the flames, and Aster went next. She spoke clearly, and they ended up in the loud, busy Diagon Alley.
"I've just got to grab a few things from Slug and Jiggers," Moody grumbled, limping along with his cane. "Then, got to grab a new robe at Madam Malkin's. This one's got little life left, and Molly keeps harping on me."
Aster followed along as Moody barged into the apothecary, grumbling to the owners and shoving a list to them of what he needed. Apparently, they were well versed with dealing with Alastor Moody, as they had all of his things ready within ten minutes. Moody slapped his payment down on the table, and hobbled out. Aster mustered an apologetic look to the annoyed looking shop owners, following Moody out of the store.
"Alright, you need anything?" Moody asked Aster, who shook her head. "Right then, here. Go get yourself something from Fortescue's. I've got some errands to attend to in Knockturn."
Moody shoved a bag of coins to Aster, who took them with caution. She wasn't sure if she should be left alone, and knew Mrs. Weasley would lose her mind, but she found she didn't care much of her wellbeing. Worse thing that happens, she dies. Oh well.
"Make sure you get a big order, now." Moody narrowed his eye on her, the magical one spinning around in directions so fast it made Aster dizzy. He walked her to the ice cream parlor, and then left, grumbling about something Aster couldn't make out.
Aster shook her head, and entered the shop. She ordered a double scoop, clotted cream and Earl Grey & lavender, taking her treat to the small table nestled in the back of the shop. Severus used to take her here when they would go back to school shopping, but they never ate inside. They would take it back to Spinner's End, and eat at the park down the street from their home.
The thought soured her mood, and she fingered Cedric's scarf as she slowly ate her ice cream. The cold sweet froze her mouth, and she savored the taste of the clotted cream. It was her favorite, although the lavender was a close second.
Cedric had always loved the cherry chili flavor. Aster thought it was absolutely disgusting, especially when he would mix it with Butterbeer. He then had made it into a game to find the worst possible flavors to mix together, and the two of them had corresponded last summer with their findings for nearly the whole time. The worst was when Cedric had stuffed random Bertie Botts Every Flavor Bean into a chocolate frog, and sent it off to Aster to try. She had been sick the minute she chewed the thing. It had made Cedric nearly double over in laughter when she told him on the train, and then he had spent the rest of the ride cuddling her and tracing circles on her arm to make up for it.
Aster didn't realize she was crying until her tears dripped off her nose and onto her hand. She rubbed furiously at her eyes, and threw her ice cream in the trash. She felt absolutely pathetic, getting so upset over a single memory. The flames in her chest flared, and she kept her arms wrapped tightly around herself as she left the parlour. She hoped for Moody to be back, but he was nowhere in sight.
She had some leftover money from the ice cream, so she figured she may as well stop by the bookstore to see if they had a book about sleeping potions. She hadn't gotten around to making any this summer, as she didn't have the knowledge or the energy; but if she wanted to survive Hogwarts, she knew she had to try.
It was fairly easy to find the book once inside the shop, but it was up a few shelves too high for her. The glittering lettering declaring Sleeping Potions and Other Magical Healings: a complete guide to healing injured minds and bodies seemed to twinkle tauntingly at her, and even as she stood on the tips of her toes she was unable to grab it. Her fingers just barely grazed the spine.
As she stood there, reaching for the blasted book, someone stepped behind her, an arm reaching over her to grab the book with their long pale fingers.
"Need this?" Draco Malfoy had an eyebrow raised, a cocky smirk on his handsome face.
"Erm," Aster cleared her throat. "Yes."
Draco handed her the book, his long fingers grazing hers. Something about him… seemed different. Kinder, maybe. Or perhaps it was just that he wasn't around his idiot goons. Or, perhaps it was the fact that he had grown a few inches taller and wore his platinum locks loosely around his face, no longer neatly arranged in place.
"Thanks." Aster nodded awkwardly, a black wave falling into her face. She brushed it off, noting how Draco seemed to be watching her movements.
"You're welcome," Draco paused, running his eyes up and down her frame, leaning against the bookshelf. "How has your summer been?"
The question hung in the air, awkward and painful, and Draco seemed to realize how tactless that question was. How great could her summer have been, after having her boyfriend die?
Aster shrugged, biting her lip. "S'okay, I suppose. How about yours?"
Draco gave her a cocky grin, seeming relieved with her answer. "Wonderful. I've been made Prefect, this year, with Pansy."
Aster laughed, surprising herself with the sound. It had been awhile since she had laughed at anything besides a story Sirius had told. "I bet Pansy loves that."
Running a hand through his platinum hair, Draco shook his head. "She does, unfortunately. It's rather annoying, actually, she doesn't ever take a hint."
Aster was a bit taken aback. This was the longest conversation she had ever had with Draco, and it was rather pleasant. He seemed.. human. It was bizarre.
"I was under the impression you and her were a thing." Aster said the words lightly, looking at the price on the book. Her face fell, she didn't have enough Galleons.
Draco noticed. "She certainly thinks we are. What's wrong?"
"It would appear I don't even have enough for this book," Aster gave a dry laugh, rolling her eyes. "Why would I, honestly?"
"You never were this bitter last year." Draco crossed his arms, looking down at her.
"Cedric was alive last year." replied Aster without much thought, reaching to grab the edge of the scarf around her neck. She could feel tears coming, again, and it made her angry. Why did she have to cry so much?
Draco looked like he was unsure of how to respond, and Aster took that moment to shove the book back onto a shelf and leave the store. She fled without bidding Draco goodbye, nearly tripping as she navigated through the narrow shelves and out the door.
She stopped short outside, as she could see Moody was still not near the parlour. Stepping into the shadows of the bookstore, Aster wiped roughly at her eyes, willing the tears to stop. Now, she wasn't sure if it were sadness or anger causing them to fall, but she decided it was both.
Focusing on her breathing, she attempted the exercise Sirius had taught her. In deep, out deep. In deep, out deep. In deep, out deep. By the fifth time, she had gotten control of herself and the tears stopped.
"Aster," she turned to see Draco walking towards her with a purple bag in hand. "Here."
Draco held the bag out to her, and she saw the potions book inside.
"Draco," began Aster, biting her lip. "You didn't-"
"Look, just take the damn book, I've got to go meet my mother and I don't have use for it or time to return it." Draco cut her off haughtily, impatiently shoving the bag towards her.
Aster took it cautiously, their fingers brushing together. Draco left once she had the bag in hand, not sparing her another look. Aster felt something stir inside her hollowed out chest, and she placed her hand over it.
"Aster!"
Moody was hobbling towards her, an irritated look on his face. "Where the bloody hell did you disappear off to?"
"Sorry, Moody," apologized Aster, hurrying over to him. "I picked up a new book."
Moody gave her a strong look, discontent etched across his face. "Right. We best be getting back now, shouldn't we?"
Aster nodded, following the intimidating man back to the Floo Station. As they took turns stepping into the flame, Aster's mind kept finding its way back to Draco Malfoy.
hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! i tried to make Draco as canon as possible within his scenes. let me know your thoughts, please, as i love feedback and was a tad disappointed that i hadn't received any on the last update. i just want to make sure you all are enjoying the story and that its flowing well! thank you to everyone that has followed and favorited this story so far!
-TheFlyingGraysons