When Morgana woke next, a sudden clatter drew her eyes to the chair beside her bed. Merlin hovered awkwardly nearby, shuffling a book on the table and clearly trying to look like he hadn't just been watching her - needless to say, he was failing miserably.
As she watched, he glanced back at her, obviously trying to look casual, and, seeing her eyes open and on him, turned properly to face her. He cleared his throat. "You couldn't... stop that, could you?" He asked. "It's giving me a headache."
She looked up at him, confused. "What?"
"You know... with your magic?" He said it so normally, so unconcerned, that for a moment she didn't even realise what he'd said.
When she did, she started in surprise. A look of realisation flooded her features, mixed with panic, as the buzzing flow of magic was cut off. Mostly - a small trickle still escaped her, despite her efforts. He gave her a small smile, though to her it felt bittersweet. There was a time when that innocent, guileless smile would have made her smile in return. That time was long past. The last time she'd looked at that smile with anything other than suspicion and the hollow pain of betrayal it had been encouraging her to "have some water, before I finish it." Encouraging her to drink the poison. Smiling at her. A smile shed trusted. Trusted with her most dangerous secret. A smile that had helped her, understood her.
So in a way, she could understand why he was so comfortable referring to her magic. He knew the longest. Helped her, made it seem that it didn't matter to him, like she was still just her, and for so long that was the only thing that kept her tied to her life here. Until he betrayed her. Tried to kill her.
That was when she finally gave up on her life as it had been. Finally gave in to the hate and the darkness. He turned his back on her when she needed him most. And after that, she turned her back on them all.
All this went through her head before she was stopped short by a sudden realisation.
Her magic was free.
It seemed such an obvious thing, considering that only moments ago it had been flowing unrestrained from her. But it came as such a shock. It made sense, though. The shackles that had bound both her and her magic were gone now. But she couldn't quite process it. Couldn't quite believe it. Maybe this was just a dream after all, but - the tight pressure had eased. Her blood still thrummed with magic, but it no longer felt like it was overflowing. She could handle this. And after so long… it was more than she had dared to wish for.
Tentatively, she reached out a hand towards the low table beside her bed, staring with intense concentration at the small cup of water there. "Alíese."
Hope flared in her as movement flashed before her eyes, only to be drowned in disappointment when the cup promptly shattered, water flying everywhere. She frowned at it as she was struck by a wave of sudden dizziness and sunk back down in her bed, squeezing her eyes shut tight with a wince.
"You may struggle with that for a while." A voice sounded from above her and she looked up to see Merlin leaning over, holding another cup out for her to take. She pushed herself up carefully to sit leaning against the wall and he continued speaking.
"Your magic has spent a long time building up - it will likely tend to explode uncontrollably for a while. Just try not to kill anyone in the meantime. But you're in no state to even be trying to channel that level of power yet – It's dangerous for us and for you. You're exhausted." He pointed out.
He made it sound so reasonable. As if he was half-joking. As if she hadn't tried to kill them all before.
It was a little unnerving. It reminded her too much of the boy who had helped her, had kept her secret, had never seemed scared by her power, back when she first discovered her magic.
Right before he stabbed her in the back.
He offered her an encouraging smile and held the new cup towards her, and she realised she'd just been sitting staring at him.
She looked down at the cup he held, and couldn't help the irrational fear that kicked in.
Last time he'd offered her a drink like this, it had been poisoned.

She had long ago stopped being able to trust him. Even with something as simple as this.

She shook her head. "I can't." She said, but it came out as a whisper
His mouth popped into an "O", and he hastily withdrew. "Right, sorry, I forgot. You can't move your fingers." He cringed at himself.
She what? She moved a hand to rub against the fingers of the other, and realised he was right. She couldn't even feel them.
Tears welled in her eyes, threatening to spill over.
Merlin awkwardly reached out with the cup. "Do you want me to... ?" He hesitantly moved it towards her lips.
"No!" She all but shouted, jerking back violently and knocking the cup from his grasp.
It clattered to the floor and the water splashed down with it.
He held his hands up in surrender. "Ok." He said. His voice sounded calm but his face betrayed his surprise. The worry in his eyes looked so real, but he'd shown her long ago that he never really cared for her.
She turned away, unable to bear the sight of him. The boy who once held her together, before he broke her apart.
His betrayal had stung the most. Still did, after all this time, after all she'd been through.
The tears fell down her face, but she was facing the wall, and he couldn't see them. Only the slight shake of her shoulders as she sobbed silently into her hands.

...

Gwen wasn't quite sure what shed expected to find when she walked into the physicians chambers. Perhaps Gaius leaning over some bubbling potion, or studying a book. But not Merlin kneeling on the floor in a puddle.
Now, if she was being fair, there was a reason for this - the cloth in his hand and the bucket he was wringing it out over were evidence of that. And, well, given Merlin's ability to knock over or lose or bump into or break or spill or - well, just generally make a mess of - almost anything, she really shouldn't be surprised.
In that way, Arthur was right - Merlin was pretty clumsy. Even if he was a good friend.
"Merlin?"
He jumped at her voice, and she laughed as he bashed against the bucket, grabbing it with a yelp as it tipped precariously, almost toppling over, and some of the water sloshed out back onto the floor.
"Gwen." He said, standing. "Did you come for any reason other than to laugh at me?" He tried to sound grumpy, but couldn't quite hide the smile that broke through.
She smiled at him and he gave up with the hurt look.
"I just came to see how she's getting on." The queen nodded to Morgana, who was sleeping - again.
Merlin glanced distractedly at the figure covered in blankets. "She's... okay, I suppose. All things considered. I think we need to get her up, so she can regain her strength. She can't just stay there forever."
Gwen laughed at that. "Merlin, she only arrived here a few days ago. After who knows how long of imprisonment."
Merlin nodded. "I know. But I just think this is important. Being able to move about could really help her recovery. It's got to be worth trying. We can do it gradually. But... she's been in the dark too long, Gwen. I can't help but want to let her spend some time out in the sun."
Gwen nodded, the simple movement somehow conveying all the understanding of how he felt.
"I think we should do that. Tomorrow, we can see if she's strong enough to walk just a little way. She does look a little better already. A little less fragile. She might just manage it. Even if we could just take her into the courtyard."
"Sounds great... except for one thing. I don't think I should do this with you."
"Why?" Gwen asked, confused.
"She doesn't trust me." He grimaced at the half-cleaned up puddle of water on the floor.
"Oh." Was all she could think to say.
She didn't hear him mutter quietly to himself as she left a minute later. She wouldn't have understood what he meant anyway, but she might have been surprised at the bitterness in his voice.
"You're the only one that hasn't betrayed her yet."

...

A/N - Another update! *Yay* I hope you like! Thank you for reviewing everyone and i hope you keep telling me your thoughts because it makes my day and honestly some of the ideas you've given me are amazing!

PadrePedro - Thanks so much for your reviews and i hope you like all the chapters to come :)

Maricate - I know i said I'd put the first idea you gave me in this chapter, but... it ran on a bit. But i have set it up for it to happen in the next chapter! Don't worry, I'll make sure Aithusa gets helped, especially as I think she's really important to Morgana so I couldnt just leave her. I like Aithusa too much anyway :) Thanks for reviewing and i hope you like!

SherlockHolmes4884 - Thanks for your review, And you've given me a great idea for a little bit later on in the story!