Disney songs sung by Star Wars characters: (PURE GOOFY STUFF, BUT KINDA MAKES SENSE TOO)

Mother Knows Best: by Owen Lars

(Song from Tangled)

Seventeen-year-old Luke Skywalker flew across the sands of Tattooine on a rattling speeder bike. His blond hair fluttered around his fair head in the hot wind, and he squinted against the rushing air in his face. But despite the discomfort of riding at top speed without a helmet, the teenager didn't slow down. He had some exciting news. Uncle Owen had sent him over to a neighbor's farm to collect a borrowed hypospanner from Clide Darklighter. His son, Biggs Darklighter, had been Luke's best friend since they were both little. Today, Biggs had been shared something wonderful with him, and Luke couldn't wait to get home and show Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru.

"Uncle Owen!" he hollered as soon as he reached the domed house. "Uncle Owen!" Running at top speed, Luke left his bike and burst into the humble little desert dwelling, face flushed with sunburn and slicked with sweat.

His Aunt Beru peeked out of the kitchen and waved cheerfully at him. "Luke! Your uncle's in the garage, do you need –?"

"Thanks, Aunt Beru!" Luke yelled and left the house again, in a whirlwind of energy. He dashed across the hot sand to the garage and found his uncle inside, lying on his back under the family landspeeder, covered in grease and sweat. "Uncle Owen!" he shouted happily. "There you are! I've got something really amazing to show you …"

"If you're back, you'd better get to work, Luke, the 'vaporators won't regulate themselves," the weathered man grunted.

"But Uncle Owen," Luke persisted, yanking a folded sheet of flimsi out of his pocket and waving it in the air. "Look what Biggs showed me! He's gonna apply to the Imperial Academy this year and hopefully get into the pilot program! Did you know they have a pilot program? I'm gonna turn old enough this year, and I want to apply too, so can I please, Uncle Owen! Please!"

Owen Lars slowly clambered out from under the speeder, wiping his calloused hands on a filthy rag. He looked troubled. His gray hair was short and crooked, and his worn, lined face looked older than he was. The twin suns of Tattooine did that to people.

"Uncle Owen?" Luke asked in a lower tone, his excitement quickly waning. "Are you … gonna say something?"

"You know what I've said before, Luke," Owen said in a gruff tone, attempting to be kind. He laid his rough, grease-streaked hand on the boy's skinny shoulder. "I just don't think you're quite mature enough to be thinking about something like that yet."

"But Uncle Owen, I'm old enough now!" Luke protested, gazing pleadingly up at his uncle. "The pilot program will accept kids as young as sixteen, but I'll be eighteen next Empire Day!"

"Luke …" Owen sighed, running his other hand through his short gray hair. "Remember when you smashed up my speeder last month?"

"Well, yes, and I'm really sorry, and I fixed it too, but I don't know …"

"What about the time you stole that T-16 and flew it off for a test run, scraped the sides and nearly got yourself killed?"

"Uncle Owen, that was last year!" Luke exclaimed, jumping out from under his uncle's grip. "And it wasn't really me, remember? Fixer was the one messing with it, I just managed to keep us alive!"

"I'm just saying I don't like the idea of you leaving home just to become a pilot," Owen said in a kind tone. "You're a danger to yourself and others."

"I wouldn't be if you'd just let me practice more," Luke grumbled, folding his arms stubbornly. "How am I supposed to get better at something unless I do it more often? Besides, this is the Academy we're talking about! I'd go there to learn! Why won't you let me go?"

Owen Lars shook his head and rubbed the stubble on his chin.

You want to leave the planet? Why Luke, Owen smiled, trying to be understanding, but also stubborn.
Look at you, you're sure to come to harm
Still a little sprout, just a pup
You know why we stay here on the Farm?

"I know, but," Luke stammered, stretching out his hands pleadingly. Owen nodded, interrupting his nephew.

That's right, to keep you safe and sound, son
Guess I always knew this day was coming
Knew that soon you'd want to leave the nest
Soon, but not yet

"But!" Luke protested. He was interrupted again by his uncle, who raised his broad hand, a stern expression on his face.

Hush! Trust me, boy
Uncle knows best!

Luke scowled and crossed his arms again, turning away from his uncle defiantly. He had heard this lecture before, and resented it more each time.

Uncle knows best
Listen to me, Luke
It's an evil galaxy out there
Uncle knows best
One way or another
Something will go wrong, I swear!

Luke rolled his eyes and sat on the workbench, still refusing to look at his uncle. As for Owen Lars, he went on in his "patient" voice.

There's pirates out there
Bounty hunters, black holes
TIE Fighters, mynocks, Hutts!

"No!" Luke shouted rebelliously.

"Yes!" Owen nodded sagely.

Luke jumped up, determined to change his uncle's mind. "But!"

Also space slugs, Owen continued sternly.
Stormtroopers, criminals,
And stop, no more, you'll make me angry!
You belong right here, with family to protect you
Son, here's what I suggest:
Stop daydreaming, hear my meaning,
Uncle knows best.

Luke Skywalker shook his head angrily. "I'm never going to be a good farmer, Uncle Owen!" he exclaimed. "I want to be a pilot, and I can't do that here, can I?"

Owen shrugged and sighed in a long-suffering manner.
Go ahead, get eaten by a rancor
Go ahead, get kidnapped and sold as a slave
Me? I'm just your uncle, what do I know?
I only raised and taught and carried you
Go ahead and leave us, do we deserve it?
Make your Auntie cry, be my guest
When it's too late, you'll see, just wait
Uncle knows best

Luke's face screwed up in his determination not to be moved by his uncle's argument. "Uncle Owen …" he faltered.

"Don't you trust me, Luke?" Owen pleaded. "We want what's best for you. And I promise you'll go to the Academy, when you're ready."

"You promise?" Luke asked hopefully.

Owen nodded magnanimously and came forward to put his arm around his nephew.

Uncle knows best
Take it from me, Luke
On your own, you won't survive
Sloppy, unprepared, immature, whiny

"Hey!" Luke protested. Owen laughed and poked the boy's arm teasingly.

The Empire will eat you alive!
You're gullible, naïve, inexperienced
Clumsy and a bit, well, hmm, vague?
Plus, I believe you're needed here
I'm just saying 'cause I love you
We both understand
We are here to help you
All I have is one request, Luke?

"Yes, sir?" the boy raised his blond head, trying not to show the hurt and disappointment in his bright blue eyes.

"Please don't ask to leave the farm again," Owen said sternly. "At least, not until you're over eighteen."

Luke sighed. "Yes, Uncle Owen," he murmured.

"I really do love you, Luke, even if you don't realize it."

Luke squirmed. His uncle rarely told him things like that. "I … I love you too, Uncle," he almost whispered.

"I love you more than you can imagine," Owen insisted, giving his nephew a firm hug. He took Luke's chin and tilted it so he could see his eyes.

Don't forget it, you'll regret it
Uncle knows best

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Fun Fact: I've never actually seen Tangled, go figure. But I've heard the songs and I'm thinking of doing one of 'When Will My Life Begin?' starring Rey on Jakku.

Tell me what you think of this one. Mother Knows Best when applied to grumpy Owen Lars can't be anything but weird.