You come back to the waking world slowly, your head slightly foggy but not enough to distract from the steady warmth enveloping you. Your hands are curled loosely, pressed up against the firm source of the heat, and you let your head fall forward as you instinctively shift closer.
This new position causes something to tickle against your left cheek. It happens every other moment or so, coinciding with the rise and fall of the chest beneath your palms–
Your eyes fly wide open at the realization as the blurry memories all come rushing back to you. You'd thought it'd just been a dream, something your brain had conjured up to force your body to rest and relax.
But the sight before you in the dim light is no hallucination.
Wolffe's peaceful face is illuminated by the light of your kyber crystal that lays on the pillow between you and him. He looks so young like this, his stress and worries washed off his features while he sleeps. You can't help but slide one of your hands up to softly caress his jaw, to really confirm that this isn't some trick of the Force. Your touch has the last of the tension in his brow dissolving, and you have to hold in a surprised squeak as his arm tightens its hold on your waist and pulls you even closer to him.
He may still be asleep, but his unconscious desire to hold you more securely in response to your physical affection brings tears to your eyes.
He's so tranquil, in this secluded hollow of your room. And warm. He radiates life and safety.
You wonder if this is how you would've felt in his arms if you were conscious when he carried you off the battlefield.
As your eyes begin to drift shut again, you become afraid that when he wakes up– when you wake up– you'll be alone again.
But your kyber whispers happily in a corner of your mind, and it's never led you astray before.
Your hand splays protectively above Wolffe's heart as you succumb to sleep once more.
When you wake again, your instinctual reaction is to whine disappointedly and hide your face against Wolffe's chest, feeling how sore you still are from your healing injuries and hoping to avoid the sensation in sleep once more. But this time, your movement doesn't have him pulling you closer.
Instead, you feel his arm slowly unravel from around your waist, and coax you backwards so there is space between your bodies once more. The distance means you can now look at each other, something that is important for the conversation you know is coming, and yet… the gentle rejection is also a reminder of the constant ache in your chest that existed due to Wolffe always pushing you away.
"It's ironic," you mumble to yourself, your eyes holding steady on his chest. If you look up at his expression, you're afraid you'll finally break.
"What is?" His voice is rougher than normal from sleep, but he keeps his tone on the same soft level as yours.
You bring your hand up to wipe at your eyes before finally tilting your head back to look at him. His eyes are intent, but the rest of him is guarded as he waits for you to answer.
"That the only time you let me close to you is when one of us is gravely injured," you chuckle emptily, your gaze automatically flickering to the long scar slicing down his face. Part of you longs to reach out and touch it, but you don't want to scare him away.
Wolffe's brow furrowed. "I don't know what you're talking about."
You pause, unsure now of your next words. "In… in the Halls of Healing. At the Temple?"
Wolffe seemed even more confused. "I was unconscious while the healers worked on me there. I woke up only after being transported to a recovery ward."
"Wolffe…" You can't help the shock that floods your body at his recollection. "You were in the Halls of Healing for two weeks. I was one of your main Healers." Your chest begins to feel tight, and you try to focus on the soothing thrum of your kyber crystal as you force yourself to continue. "The trauma from your injury was severe, the leas Healers had to operate several times, and once more after your body initially rejected your cyber implant. I— I was there the entire time to keep you stable."
You press your lips together, hating yourself at being the one to explain such painful things to him as you see the effect each additional word you say has on the commander. "I was there when you first woke up. You smiled up at me and said you didn't expect…"
He urges you on after your voice dies off in anguish. "I said what?"
"You said that you didn't expect death to have such a warm embrace."
You finally stop talking now, both because you're not sure if you can continue and you think it's best that Wolffe isn't any more overwhelmed.
"I thought that was a dream," he says after several silent moments. "I just remember… feeling safe. I didn't…"
Your hand is moving to cup his cheek in an attempt to comfort him before you even realize, but luckily you regain your senses before you can touch him without his consent. "Do you mind if I…?"
Wolffe's gaze is filled with an emotion you can't identify. "I've never let anyone else touch my scar," he admits, nervousness bleeding through in his tone.
You stare at him emotionlessly, not wanting to let the swirling feelings within you affect him in this moment of self-discovery as you reach slowly towards his face. He sucks in his breath as your fingers brush against his temple but he doesn't flinch, not even as you leave a warm trail against his skin while lightly tracing the length of his scar.
"You may not remember the last time I did this, but your body hasn't forgotten who guided you down the path of healing." He unfreezes when you draw your hand away and let it fall limply onto the sheets between you, your shoulders slumping as you try to smile. "It's funny how you pushed away the only person you ever let in."