Chapter Nine: The Big, The Bad, and The Brutal
Chris: [narrating] Last time on Total Drama Reloaded, it was a day full of surprises, it's like it was a birthday party of sorts...for me anyway. [chuckles] The Pulverizers and the Punishers were merged into one and as if things couldn't get any better, we found ourselves bringing back Emerald to spice things up amongst the cast and so far, she seems to have her goals set in mind, making everyone else's lives at camp as miserable as she can make 'em. [sighs] It's always nice to have some assistance in that department. Next, the remaining contestants were tasked with completing a three-legged race which contained a few more surprises along the way. In the end, it was Emerald and Rufus who crossed the finish line without a scratch, though the same thing couldn't be said for everyone else. [chuckles] However, if you thought that was surprising, in the times before the challenge, we got to see Balto, Steele, and Rufus coming together to form a wolf pack alliance with one another, though it appears to be more than an alliance. Meanwhile, Axel and Robin continued to warm the viewers' hearts by being all mushy-gushy with one another, even the two of them taking a punch with each other. Aww, such a display of true romance. However, it wasn't enough to save the two from elimination, when being clever old me, I announced another surprise that called for Robin and Axel to walk the Dock of Shame for being the last ones to cross the finish line, as well as Rufus having to share his victory with Emerald. [on-screen] Man, am I good or what? We're down to the final six contestants and we're about to kick it into high gear! Who'll be next to take their leave from the show and lose out on a chance of one million dollars? Find out right here on Total...Drama...Reloaded!
[cue theme song, the episode continues]
[scene shows the night sky with the full moon gazing over Wawanakwa Island, the sound of a wolf howling in the distance echoing throughout. It then cuts to the exterior of the spa hotel before fading into the interior where Rufus is seen being tended to by the masseuse]
Rufus: [sighs contentedly] This feels good...after a long day of hardship, this is heavenly…[sighs]...although, it would be better if I had some proper company...that Emerald has been watching me like a hawk ever since we were paired up together and it's putting me on edge...oh, how I wish that Balto and Steele were in here right about now, they'd have lightened this place up, more so than...her...you get what I'm saying, right?
[the masseuse silently nods at this before going back to tending to Rufus' calves]
Rufus: Hmm...you lot don't talk much, do you?
[the masseuse nods]
Rufus: [sighs]
[static buzzing]
Rufus: You know, it's ironic that I'm the one now in the panic seat, first it was figuring out whether or not Balto and Steele would accept me and now it's making sure Emerald doesn't murder me in my sleep. They say that victory tastes sweet, but right now, all I can taste is...hollowness.
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to Emerald walking through one of the hallways as she suddenly comes across the library and notices a paper and pen laying on the desk. She curiously enters the room and sits down at the desk and contemplates to herself]
Emerald: Hmm...I wonder…
[static buzzing]
Emerald: Winning today's challenge was an excellent accomplishment, but seeing as I'm clearly not in everyone's good light, not that I care myself, it's probably best that I start marking down a plan to make sure that I can secure my victory to the very end. After all, I didn't become one of the highest-ranking elite gems for nothing. All it takes is a little careful planning.
[static buzzing]
[Emerald picks up the pen and begins to jot something down on the paper]
Emerald: Step #1, eliminate the contestants that pose the most of a threat to my plans…[on the section below, she begins listing the names in the exact order from most intimidating to least intimidating: "Steele...Jo...Rarity...Balto...Rufus"]
[static buzzing]
Emerald: This chart shall keep my thoughts organized for what I intend to do for the competition, as you can see, I have listed down who I see needs to be taken care of sooner than later, the next step will be making sure that I stay in the winners' circle for as long as possible to avoid the chance of elimination. That way, one by one, every one of those weaklings shall fall, leaving me to crush the weakest of the herd in the final two.
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to the outside of the spa hotel and then shifts over to the cabins where Jo is seen brooding on the steps as she kicks a stone]
Jo: Bah!
[static buzzing]
Jo: Well, isn't that just great? With Robin and Axel out of the game, I'm the only member of my team left standing. Gee, thanks a lot, Chris McAss!
[static buzzing]
[as the jockette continues to sulk, the door to the females' side of the cabins is heard opening]
Rarity: [off-screen] Oh, Jo, would you like to come inside?
Jo: Huh? [looks back] Oh, it's you…
Rarity: [on-screen] Um, yes, it is...you're not in the best of moods, are you?
Jo: I dunno, if you were the last member of your team standing against several members of an opposing team, that might make someone a lil peeved.
Rarity: Uh, right, I see...still, you could use a bit of company, why not come inside and talk with me, have a little girl to girl chat?
Jo: Hmmm…
[static buzzing]
Jo: I'm not into the whole fru-fru girly business like little Miss Fashionista, but at this point, she might be my only chance at a suitable ally, in case something else pops up. [sighs] Might as well suck it up and take one for the team, but don't you dare get any ideas that I'm gonna start talking "fashion, darling".
[static buzzing]
Rarity: I figured that Jo would be a good place as any to start on the subject of allies. Seeing as Emerald is evidently out of the question and I can't exactly be sure of the guys, Jo is my best shot at someone I can trust for the remainder of the game...provided she doesn't backstab me first.
[static buzzing]
Rarity: [sits on the bed and pats down to her right] Come, sit, sit.
Jo: Ugh, I'm not a dog, you know. [begrudgingly sits down to the right of the unicorn]
Rarity: Yes, I'm aware, I just wanted the two of us to sit down and have a chat about our current positions in the game.
Jo: Huh, I figured for sure that you were gonna start off with a question about fashion, but I don't disapprove of this.
Rarity: Even fashionistas have to keep their heads above water, darling. After all, this is a game that's unpredictable.
Jo: Hmph, I'll say...so, what have you got for me?
Rarity: Well, I was thinking that the two of us would form a kind of girls alliance with one another, given what we're up against.
Jo: Hmm...I see what ya' mean, but if I do this, I want your word on one condition.
Rarity: Alright then, what would that be?
Jo: That you won't vote for me under any circumstances in case neither of us wins invincibility.
Rarity: Well, I believe I can do that, darling. And I expect that you will do the same for me.
Jo: Yeah, sure.
Rarity: I mean, by the way, I don't want to form an alliance with someone who will doublecross me at the first chance they get, so I need your utmost sincerity that you will not vote for me as long as I don't vote for you.
Jo: [stares at the unicorn stunned for a moment, before she blinks and recomposes] Alright, I see your point. [sticks her hand out to shake] Deal?
Rarity: [extends her hand out to shake] Deal.
[static buzzing]
Jo: Huh, seems Rarity's got more gumption than I pegged her for. In a way...I sorta respect her for it. Maybe she's got what it takes to face me off in the final two, even if I'd obviously come out on top.
[static buzzing]
Rarity: Well, I'd say that worked out smoothly. Now that I've got an ally on my side, the next step is winning the next challenge.
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to the beach where Balto and Steele are seen walking alongside each other]
Balto: You know, I feel bad for Robin and Axel. Getting eliminated because of a twist that Chris couldn't bother to announce earlier?
Steele: In his words, "it would have spoiled the surprise". Not like we didn't have enough of those for one day, but I guess that host just like f**king with us for the fun of it...if you could even call it that.
Balto: Yeah...you know...do you ever think about them…?
Steele: Who's "them"?
Balto: I mean...your old team and colleagues...do you ever think about them...or is that too much of a touchy subject…?
Steele: To answer your question...sometimes, I do think about them...but I wouldn't be surprised if they never thought about me after the whole...debacle...no doubt they joined in on the bandwagon in turning my name into mud…
Balto: Well...you're not wrong there, Kaltag and Nikki were particularly vocal about that, almost to the point where I felt rather...uncomfortable...like, the more I thought about, the more I began to see that they had no position to take the moral high ground by sucking up to me. Star is the exception to this because I remember he tried to be nice to me beforehand, but the other two? I mean, they practically threw me off the race track at one point, Nikki even going as far as kicking me in the face.
Steele: Aaaaah, those two are a bunch of spineless f**ks. Between talking s**t behind my back and then trying to pull the pity party card by being all buddy-buddy with you, I'd argue they're no better than I once was.
Balto: Yeah...you're right there...well, I think Kaltag has kinda softened up a little as of late, if not just for the sake of Star, and I think there's something going on between the two of them...Nikki's still a bit of a jerk though.
Steele: Heh, I always figured Kaltag had a thing for the runt.
Balto: Well, I think they look rather cute together, even if Kaltag's still got that urge of bonking Star on the head.
Steele: Hmm, I see some things never change. Still, I guess you could say they are...fitting for one another.
[static buzzing]
Steele: To my former teammates, I would just like to say a few things to you. Kaltag; you were my most trusted partner back in the day, and while I give you credit for your little thing with Star, I'm not gonna resist the temptation to kick your ass for your little pity party to wolfdog. Nikki, the same applies to you and here's a tip, stop being such a virgin loser. And Star, you may still be small in size, but in a way...I'd say you've got the biggest heart. Take it as you will, but do not expect me to start going all soft on you. I'm just letting you all know that I'm still riding high as I ever was, just that I'm not as...malicious as before, you could say.
[static buzzing]
Balto: You know, having your supposed "blood rival" to be the one who understands you the most is honestly quite surreal to think about. Still, I don't mind seeing this side of Steele, the side of that shows him being more...human, in a way. That, and his...physique…[blushes]
[static buzzing]
Steele: In other words, it sucks that Rufus' gotta stay in that hotel with you-know-who.
Balto: Yeah, I feel bad for him, and just when we'd all gotten together...I hope he's alright in there...Emerald was being rather...rough with him today…
Steele: If he comes outta that hotel the following morning without a single scratch, I'll be genuinely surprised.
Balto: Hmm…
[scene cuts to morning as the camp is still at rest with only the sounds of the forest waking up. It then cuts to the interior of the spa hotel where Rufus is seen eating breakfast while Emerald watches on the opposite side of the table. The vulpine has a rather uncomfortable expression on his face under the green gem's gaze]
Rufus: Um...can I help you with anything…?
Emerald: [continues to glower at Rufus without a word]
Rufus: [blinks] Um...okay then...I'll just...go over here…[walks slowly away from the table, a few bullets of sweat prominent on his forehead]
[static buzzing]
Rufus: Seriously, what is up with that gem? It's like she thinks I'm holding a gun behind my back...if anything, she's the one with the gun, that glare of hers is enough to put the phrase "if looks could kill" to the test.
[static buzzing]
Emerald: I don't care how uncomfortable that insignificant lifeform feels, all he needs to know is that I'm watching him and everyone, I know they're probably plotting against me at this very moment, but the joke's on them because my plan will get rid of all of them.
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to the loudspeaker as it suddenly blasts a loud rock tune which echoes throughout the camp, prompting the contestants to scurry out of their respective quarters and meet in the center of the field]
Rarity: Ugh, talk about a rude wakeup call.
Rufus: [notices Balto and Steele and breathes a sigh of relief] Oh, this morning just got much better.
Balto: Hey, Rufus. So...sleep well last night?
Rufus: Without your company, it was like sleeping on a rock. Especially considering...she's been watching me like a hawk this entire time.
Steele: Hmph, stupid bitch.
Emerald: I heard that, you peasant!
Steele: Good, want me to say it louder?
Emerald: Go ahead, I dare you.
Jo: Huh, already a fight in the morning and I've got no popcorn for the show.
Loudspeaker: [off-screen] Attention, campers! [on-screen] As much as I'm sure we'd all love to see Steele and Emerald tear each other to shreds, today's challenge is probably gonna tear you all to shreds regardless! [chuckles] Meet me in the center of the forest in ten where your challenge awaits!
Emerald: You got lucky this time around...next time, you'll learn to hold your tongue…[walks past the malamute with a haughty look on her face]
[static buzzing]
Steele: More like next time, you're gonna end up in pieces on the ground. I reckon you would make a fine necklace.
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to the contestants arriving in the center of the forest where Chris is standing in a military uniform]
Chris: Well, it's about time you maggots got here, you're burning up precious daylight standing there and not enduring the daily dose of pain I so lovingly give you all.
Jo: Oh, can it with the sappiness, McLean! What's with the GI getup, find it in Chef's closet?
Chris: Actually, Jo, this outfit is meant to symbolize exactly what each of you are going to be put through today, a good ole obstacle course that the military deemed too brutal to put the troops through, so I decided to take that and put you all through it! Think of it as a callback to the All Stars season in the form of the Obsta-Kill Kourse!
Rufus: [gulps] And...what exactly will we be going through…?
Chris: Why, I'm glad you asked, Rufus, because you're going through: the Rings of Fire which you will jump through and pray that you don't end up getting burned. Next up is tightrope walking across the Crocodile Walk, careful that you don't end up becoming their lunch. [chuckles] After that, it's the Monkey Bars of Mayhem, rigged with all kinds of surprises that'll give you something to look forward to, provided you don't fall in the pool of piranhas. And finally, you'll have to race across the rickety old bridge to make it all the way to the finish line on the other side. I'd suggest you mind your step, or not and see what happens. [chuckles]
[static buzzing]
Jo: Obstacle courses are something I know, been through all kinds of 'em and have always come out on top in the end. It's safe to say that I got this challenge in the bag.
[static buzzing]
Chris: [as the contestants line up at the starting line] Oh, one more thing I'd like to mention, in addition to the first person completing the race and winning invincibility, the last person to make it across will be the one going home tonight. See, I didn't surprise you on that one, I can be nice when I want to.
[static buzzing]
Balto: [sarcastically] Well, that couldn't have been delivered anymore condescendingly.
[static buzzing]
Chris: Anyways, ready, maggots?! Get set...GO! [blows the air horn]
[the contestants dash off from the starting line, Jo in the lead, followed by Emerald and Steele, behind them is Balto with Rarity and Rufus trailing at the back. The jockette is the first to make it to the Rings of Fire]
Jo: Watch and learn, chumps! This is how ya' do it! [leaps through all the rings without skipping a beat or getting burned]
Emerald: [gasps as Steele cuts in front of her to jump through the rings] Hey!
Steele: [as he reaches the end of the rings] Snooze, ya' lose, sucker!
Emerald: [growls as she vigorously leaps through the rings without a single burn mark] You'll be eating those words soon enough…
Balto: [as he jumps through the rings] Whoa! YIP! Hot!
[static buzzing]
Balto: Okay, make a mental note never to do something like that ever again.
[static buzzing]
Rarity: [as she skittishly jumps through the rings] Fire! Fire! Fire! [examines herself after she makes it through the last ring and breathes a sigh of relief] Still as fabulous as ever!
Rufus: [as he haphazardly jumps through the rings] YIP! GAH! OH! [makes it to the other side looking slightly singed] Oooh, stupid rings…
[scene cuts to the Crocodile Walk as Jo is the first one to attempt the wooden beam]
Jo: Alright then, tote bags, I'm gettin' to the other side and ain't none of you gonna stop me!
[several of the crocodiles try to snap up at the human girl as she walks steadily across the beam]
Jo: Whoa! Stand down before someone gets hurt, namely you!
[at that moment, Steele and Emerald arrive at the tightrope]
Emerald: Out of my way, you fur coat! [roughly shoves the malamute aside as she stands on the beam]
Steele: Fine then, it's your funeral.
Emerald: Hah, you underestimate me! I've done this before, I can do it ag-[suddenly, a crocodile snaps up at her, causing her to stumble]-YIP! [her loss of balance causes her to fall, but clings onto the beam by her hands as her legs drag down to the awaiting reptiles]
Steele: Well, looks like someone's in a bit of a predicament. [begins to walk the beam himself] Allow me to assist with that. [purposely steps on Emerald's hands, causing her to wince] Try not to let the gators get ya', or do, ain't no weight off my back!
Emerald: [as Steele makes it to the other side] Oh, just you wait, I'll get you back for that! [props herself back onto the beam and begins to walk across]
[scene cuts to Chris watching with a pair of binoculars]
Chris: Looks like Emerald's got her work cut out for her. Will she be able to steal the lead and win another night at the spa hotel, or will she go out with a dishonorable discharge? Or maybe someone else will take her place in that endeavor, find out what happens next when we return on Total...Drama...Reloaded!
[scene cuts to black, the episode continues]
[scene shows Jo approaching the monkey bars overlooking a large pool of piranhas]
Jo: Alright, still in the lead and just two more obstacles to go!
[scene cuts to Steele running towards Jo when Emerald suddenly appears next to him]
Emerald: Remember what I said about making you pay for that? Well…[slashes him on the muzzle with her arm, knocking him down to the ground with a grunt]
Steele: [rubs his nose] Gah...that s**t smarts...oh, you're asking for it now…[recomposes himself as he charges toward the monkey bars]
[scene cuts to Jo starting up on the bars as Emerald stops just behind her]
Jo: Heh, you're lookin' a little green there, Emerald. Must be green with envy to see me ahead o-[the bar she grabs onto snaps and sends her down into the pool]-GAH!
Emerald: [as the sounds of Jo exclaiming in pain from the piranhas are heard off-screen] Now then, time to get back to where I rightfully belong…[as she begins to climb the bars]...in first place.
Steele: [as he climbs onto the bars] Ooooh, no ya' don't! You ain't winning that easily!
Emerald: Oh, why don't you just-[as she tries to grab onto the next bar, it snaps in two, causing her to dangle by one hand on the current bar]-GEP!
Jo: [slowly makes her way out of the pool as she throws the piranhas off her one by one] That'll teach you, ya' little varmint!
Emerald: [gasps and then starts to swing about until she both kicks Steele in the chest, causing him to nearly lose his grip and then pounce onto Jo before she can start running] OOF!
Jo: AGH!
Emerald: That'll teach you to talk sassy with me! [steps on the jockette's back as she runs off towards the bridge]
Jo: HEY! You're gonna pay for that, you bitch!
Steele: [coughs] Tell me about it…
Rarity: [pants as she approaches the monkey bars] These...aren't meant...to be running...boots…[begins to make her way across]
Balto: [as he approaches the monkey bars with Rufus alongside] Hoooooo...I haven't ran this much since the second day I was here…
Rufus: Tell me about it...not to mention, did you see the way that croc nearly bit off my tail?! [flips his tail upwards to hug it] Don't worry, I'm here, sweetheart, I won't let the two of us part ways…
[scene cuts to Emerald reaching the bridge with Jo and Steele several yards further back]
Chris: [on the other side of the bridge near the finish line] This is it, people! All ya' have to do is cross the bridge and you're safe, except the person who arrives last cuz that means they'll be going home!
Emerald: Right then, I've got a clear lead to the finish, why stop now? [begins to cross the bridge, just as Jo and Steele arrive as well. Unbeknownst to the contestants, the ropes holding the bridge on the side to the viewer's left are starting to give way]
Jo: Hey! You just wait till I get my hands on you, you slimy f**k!
Emerald: You'll have to catch me first, you dirty sc-[her foot suddenly gets caught on a loose plank and she falls forward on the wood]-ARGH!
Steele: Heh, you were saying about-[his foot also gets caught on a loose plank, causing him to collide with Jo as they fall onto the wood]-OOF!
Jo: What do I look to you people, a landing target?!
Rarity: Look, the finish line!
[as Rarity, Rufus and Balto begin to cross the bridge, the ropes finally give way, just as Emerald nearly reaches the end of the bridge. The rope bridge smacks into the cliff face, leaving the contestants dangling on the wood and ropes for dear life]
Rarity: [shudders in fear] Ooooooh...will somebody please help us?!
Rufus: [looks down wide-eyed at several feet of trees down below] Don't fall, don't fall, do not fall…
Emerald: [strains as she tries to pull herself up to the end of the bridge] Geh...no...I am...not losing this...challenge! [finally pulls herself up to the end of the bridge and runs the final leg to the finish line]
Chris: And Emerald wins the challenge! Meaning she's safe from elimination!
Emerald: [panting] Yessssss…[plops down onto the ground in exhaustion]
Chris: Now, as for the rest of yooooou…[trails off as he notices the ropes on the current side give way, sending the contestants falling into the trees]...um...huh…[walks off whistling innocently]
[scene cuts to the groaning contestants as they're seen scattered on the ground, covering in brambles and leaves]
Steele: I…[spits out several leaves] hate that man…
Jo: [picks out a branch from her hair] Agreed…
[scene cuts to black, at the Campfire Ceremony]
Chris: Well, it looks like you all had a fun day, played a little bit in the forest I see. [chuckles as the contestants glower unamused expressions at him, Rarity even removing a remaining twig from her mane]
[static buzzing]
Rarity: I swear, every time that man laughs, it gets more and more frustrating.
[static buzzing]
Chris: Now then, seeing as Emerald has invincibility for completing the race first, that means the rest of you are on the chopping block. Now, as I'm sure you recall, I said that the last person to cross the finish line would be the one going home.
Jo: In case you didn't notice, nobody other than her crossed the line!
Balto: Soooooo, does that mean we're going to vote as normal?
Chris: While I wouldn't put it against you for assuming that would be the case, I say, Balto, it appears that you're the one going home tonight!
Balto: [gasps] What?!
Rufus and Steele: WHAT?!
Balto: But...why me?
Chris: Oh, Balto, allow me to explain to your uninformed mind...you see, when you all landed after the bridge collapsed, Balto was the one who landed farthest away to the left, meaning he would have been the last one to cross the line, meaning...it's time to say sayonara!
Balto: Oh…[sighs sadly as he stands up]...okay...if I must...
[scene shifts over to Emerald holding back the urge to smirk at the wolfdog's misfortune]
[static buzzing]
Emerald: Well, that's another one down for the count, and how fortunate was it to be that spineless little hybrid. Such a shame...if it were actually so.
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to the Dock of Shame with the remaining contestants standing at attention as Balto walks past to board the Boat of Losers]
Balto: [sighs sadly]
Steele: Hey, wait up!
Balto: Huh...Steele...Rufus…
Steele: Well...sucks that this had to happen to ya'...
Balto: Yeah...it does…
Rufus: Well...you don't suppose that...we could...you know…
Steele: Well, so long as wolf…[trails off as he clears his throat]...so long as...Balto's fine with it…
Balto: [blushes] Oh...well...I suppose it wouldn't be too bad of a-
Steele: I'll take that as a yes~ [proceeds to pull the wolfdog into a kiss which causes him to give a muffled sound of surprise before settling in]
Balto: Mmmm…[pulls away from Steele and then turns to Rufus]...and as for you…[goes down to the fox's level and kisses him gingerly on the lips]
Rufus: Mmmmmmm…[feels the contact pulled away] ooooh…
Balto: [boards the boat] Well...so long, you two...win for us, won't you?
Steele: ...Heh, yeah…
[the boat sets off from the dock and into the night before it disappears into the distance]
Chris: Well, it looks like Balto's finally gone and it won't be long before someone takes the next ride to Loserville! Will the wolf pack manage to survive the rest of the competition, what kind of devilish plans has Emerald have left up her sleeve, and will I continue to enjoy watching these guys practically maul each other? The answer to that is yes, so stay tuned for more Total...Drama...Reloaded!
[scene cuts to black as the episode ends]