Hope you guys don't mind an opening theme for the fullest episode-like experience. Let me say thanks to a loyal reader who's been following my story for giving me this:

Rise... of the...
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!
(Rise of the!) Teenage Mutant Mutant Turtles!
Heroes in a half-shell
Turtle power!

Rising up against evil, paint the city green,
Hiro's ready for a fight, Hoku's making a scene.
Mon's (Got!) got mad skills, Basho (Rocks!) rocks machines.
With each other they discover their destiny and rise!
Booyakasha!

Rise of the...
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!
(Rise of the!) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!
Heroes in a half shell
Turtle power! (Rise!)

Nothing Butaniku Trouble

In an empty corner of an uneventful neighborhood block in Osaka, the turtles were getting down to business sneaking into a closed and unoccupied restaurant.

It took a few seconds of sneaking to the front door without being seen and Basho using his gadgetry to pick the lock and also disable security systems, not to mention stay clear of police surveillance of the immediate surrounding area. After all, all of the turtles – particularly Hiro and Hoku – had briefly gotten into a tangle with the yellow tape before arriving at the door.

Opening the door, the guys snuck into the dark unlit restaurant, taking care not to bump into any of the tables and jostle the chairs sitting upside-down on top of them. Even though they already knew where to go, none of them could help leaping around every corner of the establishment to take an extensive look-see.

Basho was fiddling with the napkins and cutlery in a nearby waiter's basket using the robot arms extended from his battle shell. Hiro allowed himself to do a dive-roll through the kitchen doors to have a look at the room in which the master chef spent much of his culinary days in. Mon hopped right behind a bar counter and let his fingertips ding the upside-down wine glasses a bit. Hoku took to the ceiling, briefly grappling onto the iron black chandelier which swung a bit upon his first touchdown.

After a few minutes of surveying the area, the turtles regrouped back in the main dining hall. "It doesn't look like he's here," Hiro updated everyone quietly. "Hey Basho, you sure we didn't miss all the rooms here?"

Basho lifted up his goggles. "What if I told you that I already did a thorough analysis of every cross-referenced photo of the restaurant for ten straight minutes before we got here?" The other guys still waited without a word. Basho concluded, "No. That's all the rooms."

"I still can't get over how we're literally standing inside 'Shatō-Puretanshē' right now, seeing it in all its glory!" Mon squeaked in elation.

"Former glory, Mon," Basho corrected his little brother. "Don't forget that this joint's been closed down about a week ago ever since the owner vanished."

"Well, it still feels nice to actually be at the scene," Mon conceded.

Hiro turned to give the whole area another scan with his eyes. "Okay. We know that pig-mutant's snuck in here with the silverfish-mutants he bagged up earlier. There aren't any other back doors in the place, meaning there's only one way in and out, but he's nowhere in sight. That can only mean he's hidden somewhere, which means there's gotta be a hidden room."

Basho went right back to showing the results of his scanners on visible screens, careful to lower the brightness on those screens to avoid blinding his brothers in the dark. "Well, I did do a preliminary scan of the building's foundation while you were talking and it turns out there is a tunnel going underneath us, right next to the restaurant in question."

"Wait, so you mean to tell me he just phased through the wall and went underground on the next street over?" Hoku laughed, leaning on his sword. "And I thought ghosts were beyond your suspension of disbelief." He leaned forward to get right next to where Basho's ear would be. "Didn't we all see the guy walk into the building that had only one door?"

Basho crossed his arms and smirked right back. "Not unless he never went into the restaurant to begin with. Did you see him walk past the building first before sneaking into hiding underground? I know I did!" He finished off by lightly bumping his hip into Hoku's for an extra point.

"Sure you did," Hoku muttered, rubbing his affected hip.

Hiro was fired up once again after hearing Basho's previous input, like he usually was. "Perfect! Let's get right to following that guy's trail and saving the day and the restaurant…and the restaurant's owner…whoever he is…"

Somewhere in the spacious underground tunnels below Osaka, neighboring the subway tunnels that wove across the city's underbelly, the turtles searched for their suspected mutant target. Following the sounds the aforementioned mutant was making, they traced him to an empty alcove, fiddling with several assorted kitchen items under some shoddily installed lightbulbs.

The guys watched as the tall and rotund pig-mutant apparently boiled the small silverfish he collected earlier in a cauldron filled with a boiling green soup. He then reached to another part of his cooking space to grab a salt shaker and a few slices of lemon.

"A pinch of salt, dispersed lemon juice, and then a simmering stir before being left to boil should do the trick," the porcine said out loud to no one but himself. "With those steps, that should really bring out the symphony of the palate. As I say," he snickered, "Aji o tokihanatsu!"

"Aji o tokihanatsu?" Mon gasped from his hiding spot. "But how would he know that catchphrase unless…" Mon's eyes slowly widened, his hands clutching his head at the implications. "Oh no. Could he be behind Uchinaga's disappearance?"

Hiro, who was near Mon, also looked concerned from hearing Mon's words. "What are you saying, Mon? You telling me this guy kidnapped…who, again?"

"Yuma Uchinaga," Mon clarified frantically, "the celebrity chef of Namba, the host of the Mikudasu-Daidokoro show, the culinary master who screams and smacks at up-and-learning cooks on TV 'til they give up their dreams? He's the founder and owner of Shatō-Puretanshē!"

Mon reminisced on the last time he watched that show involving the aforementioned chef, particularly in an episode where Uchinaga was disciplining a cooking contestant with a slab of pork. He could still hear the man's words:

"Sore wa butaniku no rizotto o tsukuru hōhō de ~ehen! Aji o tokihanatsu tamedo tsuku hitsuyō ya!"

The little turtle sighed. "He's my role model."

The porcine mutant added one last dab of herbs to the soupy broth, licking his lips as he watched the little leaf fragments sink into and become part of the mixture. The turtles watched him slowly reach towards the broth with one hand.

"Oh no, don't tell me he's actually going to eat that," Basho recoiled in repressed horror, his other brothers reacting similarly with Hiro averting his eyes, Mon covering them, and Hoku trying to stifle an urge to puke. But strangely enough, the pig-mutant didn't seem to eat it the way the turtles expected with any other creature alongside humans.

Slipping off a glove, the mutant slimily unwound his exposed arm like untwisting a braid, causing the arm to change from a single limb to a bunch of tentacles. Directing the tentacles to the contents in the cauldron, he allowed them to snake their way into the soup he prepared, pulsing and gyrating as they began sucking it all like straws. The turtle bros still found it disgusting.

However, at least for Basho, he expressed wonder at observing how spots of glowing green appeared to climb up the pig-mutant's tendrils through the veins and into the core of his body, causing him to react with positive exhilaration.

"Ahh, yes!" the porcine let out an ecstatic cry. "I can feel the rush of your delicious energy!" He continued to drain from the pot when his nose twitched and then sniffed, catching a whiff of something he didn't know about until now. "What's this now?" he grinned, "Am I smelling the faint freshwater fragrance of mutant turtle?" He licked his lips again. "I can taste it now: a terrapin tenderloin softened by a low boiling simmer, then sizzled over a fish oil spread and sprinkled with basil, cilantro, and a tiny pinch of wasabi."

"Mm, that sounds good," Mon drooled from what he heard from the barrel he hid behind while rubbing his hands together in anticipation. All that earned him was a hand on the mouth from Basho.

"I believe he was talking about eating us," Basho tiredly corrected his littlest brother.

Mon huffed, grabbing and pulling his older brother's hand down. "Well excuse me for expressing flattery at getting eaten in style!"

Hoku turned to Hiro. "Okay, big bro. What's our plan on nabbing this hog?" There was no reason for him to wait for Hiro's answer, however, as the bigger snapping turtle was no longer with the other three.

The pig-mutant's inquisitive smell-search was interrupted when the sound of feet landing with a boom on top of some barrels startled him, making him spin around with a jump. Standing on the barrels in front of him, Hiro was hunched and ready for a fight. "Dinner time's over, buta-han!" he declared with a Tonfa pointed right at the pig. "We're gonna need you to come with us!"

The pig grinned instead, reaching behind to pull out an anvil-sized hammer that was spiked on either end and supported by a handle shaped like a bone, which gave the impression of a meat tenderizer. "Come with you?" he leered, "Perhaps I will, but first, why don't you join me for dinner?" With that said, he made the first move, rapidly moving away from his 'kitchen' and preparing to throw the first swing with his hammer, though he also took a moment to use his other arm to snatch one last slurping bite of his own cooking along the way.

Hiro tried to sidestep the pig's hammer and counter with a punch of his own. It did knock the pig's head back a little, so Hiro tried landing another. The pig mutant briefly tanked that strike as well before going at Hiro's chin with the butt of his hammer's handle, striking the turtle so hard he was sure the shock traveled to his teeth too. The pig mutant then flipped his meat-tenderizing hammer to give Hiro a full whack, sending him flying shell first into another bunch of barrels like a bowling ball to pins.

"And it looks like we're flying by the seat of our shells again," Hoku slumped before coming out of hiding to help Hiro, with Basho and Mon predictably following behind him closely. Hoku went from behind the mutant and jumped off a few barrels, coming down upon the pig with his sword raised. The pig mutant could still smell Hoku though, making him turn around and raise his hammer to guard his front, allowing the turtle's sword to clang against the block of metal. That move was a convenient opening for Mon to use his weapon to momentarily tie the porcine up and throw him in another direction. The pig mutant rolled on the hard gravel for a bit but then slowed himself down with his feet scraping across the ground, but by that time, Basho was upon him with his spinning rocket hammer. One swift swing was enough to send the pig mutant staggering in Hoku's direction. Hoku felt excited, as he saw that as a chance to try out a new trick with his portals. Before he did so, he made sure to take a swing at the big guy, making him bounce back in Basho's direction, though he didn't go far. Once he got him moving, the red-eared slider waved his sword to open a portal and jumped in. Another portal opened up next to the pig mutant, with Hiro flying out of it to deliver another strike.

"How would you like your kushikatsu done?" Hoku taunted after putting some distance between himself and his adversary.

The pig mutant didn't let his hungry grin drop once, opting to smash a barrel under his hammer. "With a dressing of teriyaki, perhaps, as I…Tear into you?" Lifting his hammer again, he did an underhanded swing at a bunch of other nearby barrels, hitting them hard enough that he sent them rolling through the air at Hoku, Basho, and Mon. Unsurprisingly, the guys were nimble enough to jump between those barrels while standing on top of the ones still standing on the ground.

The pig mutant swung his hammer behind himself to block an attempted sneak attack from Hiro who had recovered from his knockout earlier. Hiro improvised by interspersing his fisticuffs with a few light hopping sidesteps. He put his fists forward in different angles, hoping to score a strike in an opening, even if accidental. "Chew on this!" came Hiro's battle bark, throwing a red aura-charged punch at the mutant's face. Despite said mutant dodging his strike, Hiro threw a punch that combined both of his Tonfa-held fists. "You really give quite the workout for your size," Hiro panted energetically as he noted the pig's surprisingly nimble movements, "Ware wa niku ga ase wokaku yau ni mi!"

"Ooh, so you want to pound this pork, huh?" the pig-mutant leered. "Well, allow me to show you how it's done. I'm wanting to know your flavor!" The guy jumped into the air and raised his hammer over his head, arcing in Hiro's direction. Hiro managed to jump to the side, letting the spiked hammer smash into the gravel that it made a crater. Hiro spotted a few extra barrels next to him and remembered the trick the pig-mutant pulled earlier. Charging up his fists, he used one punch to toss a barrel into the air and the next punch to launch it at his foe. Unsurprisingly, the pig moved to the side as he knew exactly the kind of trick that was being used against him. Knowing he was running out of tricks pretty soon, Hiro impulsively knocked a couple more barrels into the air and jumped at the same time. With both his fists charged up again, Hiro hammered them down onto the falling barrels, right on top of the giant mutant porcine, unknowingly doing it so hard that the guy actually sank into the ground.

It was when the dust started to settle after being blown into the air that Hiro recoiled at the realization of what he did. Taking a short side glance to his three younger brothers who looked at him wordlessly, he couldn't take the silence. "Uh…is he okay, guys?" he asked meekly, twiddling his fingers together while weakly pointing at where he had just smashed the guy into the ground.

"I sure hope he is," Mon piped up first. "I'd hate for anything to happen to him before he tells me what he's done with Uchinaga-han!" The little box turtle smashed a fist against his palm for emphasis, making even his older brothers flinch. None of them had time for an answer though, as they all picked up the faint sounds of chatter, like the squeaky gremlin-like voices of something miniature. The crushed barrels that laid on top of the pig mutant were suddenly slammed off and back into the air, but it was the origin of that phenomenon that caught the guys off guard.

Instead of the large-framed and top-heavy porcine from earlier, there were now multiple smaller versions of him, only with a more squat shape. Mon would've thought that they were cute in their own way if it weren't for them jumping at him and swarming all over his body, doing the same with the other three turtles. The guys ran in every direction, trying in vain to swat the little piglet versions of the enemy mutant off their shells. Hiro, Basho, and Hoku were able to run out of the 'kitchen'-room to get more space in swatting them off.

Mon followed closely behind his brothers and tried to do the same thing, but it led to him falling flat on his face, one of those gremlins having grabbed and yanked him by his ankles. Mon hollered out to his brothers for help as the gremlins all over him dragged him back into the 'kitchen'.

At the same time, the other three were busy trying to neutralize the other little piglets once they felt they were clear.

"Amazing," Basho couldn't help gasping in astonishment for a bit. "It seems that this pig mutant's absorbed the mutant-silverfish's ability!" He even marveled at how the little piglets seemed to have copies of the original's hammer weapon too, wondering how that power also applied to separate inorganic entities such as that.

Hoku improvised by attempting to use his sword's portal powers to send the piglets in all sorts of directions. At the very least, they were easier to goad into whatever direction he wanted – he just had to let them all chase him in one group so he could pull a last-minute jump while opening a portal, giving them no time to avoid running into it before he opened a second portal to send them out in an undesirable direction. "Back in the pigpen for you!" he mocked the horde as he watched it get thrown in an unbelievable direction between portals.

"Hokū,-betsu no jōdan o ii, uchi wa jibun o kanden-shi sa seru tte chikai ya!" Basho growled under his breath when he heard his blue-masked brother making his one-liner nearby, all while fending off another batch of piglets with his spinning convertible staff.

Hiro did his best to pound and knock away every piglet that leapt in the air after him, even making sure he knocked them out good against several concrete pillars and derelict subway cars. He kept going at it, making sure to make each hit a little harder than the last to make sure the lesson he taught them stuck. With his strength, he managed to send all of the little piglets running away, and he saw that Hoku and Basho were able to do the same. But there was one detail he noticed. "Guys! Where's Mon?"

Back in the 'kitchen', the original pig mutant had just reformed himself, every little piglet having fled the turtle team and grouped back together instinctively. He nonchalantly resumed his preparation activities, cutting vegetables and grinding herbs on his makeshift counter and cutting board. At the same time behind him, Mon was wriggling furiously within his bindings as the pig had tied him to a pole that worked like a spit, a fire crackling underneath him. Things were not going his way, as he could see. It was bad enough that he was facing the impending fate of being eaten by that pig-mutant, but it was worse that he still couldn't figure out what said mutant had to do with his cooking idol Yuma Uchinaga.

"Sonen'u na shinsende ~eyarakai hyōhon'ya," the pig-mutant said to Mon without turning to face him, "it seems you are the youngest of the lot, which I can anticipate terrapin veal…'aji o tokihanatsu' this will, indeed!"

Hearing him say that catchphrase again really got Mon back on edge. "Don't say that like it's your own gimmick!" he cried indignantly, though he didn't sound upset enough to actually be dead serious. "What'd you do with Uchinaga-han?"

The porcine turned his head slightly to let Mon glimpse a half-smirk that implied he pitied the boy. "Tell me, do you know the technique for enhancing the silvery texture of bluefin tuna tempura?"

Mon remained silent for a second as he took in the pig's seemingly random question. "Uh, yeah!" he answered rather proudly, "you gotta press and roll it like a cross between ironing clothes and spreading raw pastry dough."

"And how is that performed?"

Mon turned his eyes away from the large porcine mutant for a moment so he could recall his knowledge. "Uh…hmm…I'd need to use a metal rolling pin that's soaked in boiling water and still has steam billowing from it. I never got to see him use it, but once he's done from behind the curtain, it looks mouthwatering."

The porcine narrowed his eyes as his grin grew even wider. He leaned down to the little turtle. "Would you like to see it? I can show you."

Mon's eyes widened at the question laid out to him. "But…no one knows. No one's even seen him do it. It's never been shown on TV or live stage ever!"

The pig mutant then made the widest grin ever, exposing every one of his crooked teeth. Turning back to his makeshift kitchen counter, he fished out a metallic cylinder-shaped tool from the bubbling cauldron he was no longer cooking in, which Mon recognized as a rolling pin. Watching the vapor dancing off the rolling pin's surface, Mon saw the pig place a strip of leftover mutant silverfish on the cutting board and push the steaming rolling pin onto it, an audible hiss emanating from it. The large mutant slowly rolled the pin over the slab and when he was done, he grabbed the finished meaty piece and held it right up to Mon's face. "Donaizo," he goaded the little turtle, "have a look and take a whiff."

Initially hesitant but won out by curiosity, Mon slowly and carefully moved his head closer to the piece of meat held in the pig-mutant's hand. He examined it meticulously to find familiarity in the way the meat's silvery texture shone above the flames and when he took a deep breath through his nose to inhale the expertly cooked aroma, his eyes widened like saucers. "Oh me gosh," he gasped voicelessly, "you can't be…"

The tall porcine was snickering. "Oh, but I can be, and I am." By that point, he had a blade in each hand, a kitchen knife in his left and a cleaver in his right, sharpening them with each other with a piercing shing. "What peon would be dense enough to try and imitate the legendary Yuma Uchinaga, let alone succeed?"

Mon was still reeling from the shock of the revelation that this predatory pig mutant was none other than his own cooking idol. This truth that opened right up to him in his face was enough to make him wish he was about to be eaten by a loony fan instead. He was already sweating and dripping grease off his body into the fire below. This wasn't as stylish as he imagined it to be. He closed his eyes, hoping something nice would happen, but felt himself being rudely jostled from his place over the fire. He cracked open one eye to find a bunch of familiar faces having grabbed hold of the pole he was tied to as they carried him away. "Ware-tachi wa!" he said, quietly but elatedly.

"We gotcha, Mon," Hiro whispered to his little brother with his recognizable tone of assurance. "No turtle left behind!"

By the time they ran fast and far enough away, the porcine mutant – Yuma Uchinaga – had picked up their scent and hurried after them with his meat-tenderizing hammer back in his hands. "Koko ni modotte koi! I used a whole tub of butter on him!"

The guys were racing back the way they came, hoping to ditch the pig-mutant by reaching the surface before him. It's not that they didn't have a chance, but that they'd rather not waste their time with the voracious villain as their hands were already full. As they made their way around another corner in the dark, Mon couldn't help but speak up, since they were no longer undetected anyways. "How'd you guys find me? I thought you were fighting those little versions!"

"Oh, we did," Hiro tried to answer his brother humbly. "Beating them all off was like swatting flies. Then we hid in a subway car to plan on how to rescue you. It took work, but I made a plan."

"Yeah, after you took three minutes to try and come up with something workable and I gave you all the hints," Basho cut in. Hiro looked embarrassed.

The guys made it within several meters of where they first entered the underground when Uchinaga caught up to them. They all jumped as they split up to avoid him throwing the hammer down their way.

"You'll get the teeth for making me waste my meal!" the porcine snarled irritably. He then readied his hammer again and even unwound his other free arm into an array of tentacles. Without further hesitation, he whipped his tentacled arm at the turtles who split up once again, with Basho and Hoku coming at him first as a distraction while Hiro looked for a place to hide and untie Mon. Hoku slid and deflected a strike from the pig's hammer while Basho had to move his body in a rough dance when the pig's tendrils got a hold of his staff.

Meanwhile, Hiro was just finishing up taking the last of the rope off Mon to free him from the pole he was stuck on. "Alright, free like a bee! Ready to help sting this hog?"

"Sure thing," Mon limbered up the joints in his shoulders. At the same time as he took out his Kusari-fundo, he leapt over Hiro as he told him from other his shoulder, "You're not gonna believe what I found out about the pig-guy!"

Basho and Hoku were doing a good job of making the porcine scramble on his feet, constantly having to move his body as he looked for the agile turtles hopping left and right above among the concrete columns. Getting tired of being led on like this, Uchinaga went over and started smashing the columns to pieces using his hammer. He was further inconvenienced when Hiro had charged right behind him and dove at him in a football tackle, sending him falling down and sliding on the gravel.

Hiro didn't get long to hold him down though, as the pig reached at him with his tentacled arm and grabbed him, lifted him into the air, and threw him aside. Such a move against him should do nothing else to him apart from making him have to take some time to get back on his feet, but for some reason, he was feeling somewhat weaker than usual. "Whoa," he groaned, feeling as though his head was swimming, "Where'd all my juice go?" Even his steps were uneven.

The pig regained his confidence, his tentacled arm pulsating with green glowing energy slithering up its flesh as it reformed into a proper arm. "I like the way you taste," he hissed, watching as Hiro collapsed onto the ground, "maybe I prefer you raw." He walked towards the large and incapacitated snapping turtle leisurely, his meat-tenderizing hammer dragging along the gravel.

"Hiro!" Hoku yelled with worry, traveling to where Uchinaga was by creating another portal. When he jumped out of the portal, he got ready to slash at the guy, but the porcine simply swatted him away with a fist, sending the turtle flying in Basho's direction. He flew fast enough that Basho couldn't react in time, leading to both turtles tumbling onto the ground in a heap of enmeshed limbs. All the while, Uchinaga stopped right in front of Hiro and leaned towards the snapping turtle's face, his drooling toothy maw widening itself around his head.

"Hey, Uchinaga-han!"

Uchinaga, apparently now being called by his human name, looked up to where the young voice yelled at him, and saw Mon standing on one of the concrete support rafters above. Mon didn't waste a second. "Just wanna know: How do you get your pork so tender?"

Hearing a question about how he cooks – his signature style – had Uchinaga in a more positively boosted mood. "Why, you just have to pound every part of it –" he managed to say before he realized what he was looking at right this moment.

Mon was holding the chain of his Kusari-fundo, which was extended past the turtle and trailed below him to a bundle of barrels on the ground, being wrapped around them and tied in place by the little sawblade ball on the end of it. With a smirk, Mon heaved the chain-tied bundle of barrels off the ground, over his shoulder, and hurdling down at the pig. Uchinaga only had enough time to stare the incoming bludgeon head-on before the barrels slammed down on top of him, burying him in a metal-dented pile.

Once the dust had settled, Mon leapt off the rafter and touched down on the ground. With a hand on his hip, he faced the crumpled pile the pig was under. "And that's why Hiro thinks you're the 'Nikuase'!" he yelled with a pointed finger. With that said, he turned around and kicked the gravel behind him for emphasis. He noticed that Hoku and Basho were standing around him and looking at him with a bit of concern, but felt curious as to why he was being looked at that way.

Hiro had just sat back up when he recovered enough from the previous energy drain he was subjected to. "Ugh!" he groaned, rubbing his head, "Imanani ya ga yatta no?" Hoku and Basho didn't answer, only pointing to Mon silently and awkwardly.

New mutant! Introducing "Nikuase" (ニクーアセ | 肉汗), whose name is literally taken from Meat Sweats, the character he's so blatantly based off of. He was originally a regular Japanese human, a Kansai native, who went by the name of "Yuma Uchinaga" (内永 優真).

His restaurant's name, "Shatō-Puretanshē," (シャトー プレタンシェー) is exactly the same as the restaurant from the original show, "Chateau Prétenche", spelled in English but transcribed in Japanese phonetics. For a visual example, the restaurant's sign is written in English letters, but pronounced with Japanese syllables when read out loud.

Namba (難波) is a district in Osaka that sits between the wards Chuo (中央区) and Naniwa (浪速区). The Dotonbori canal area is located there, along with one of Osaka's newest office/shopping complexes, 'Namba Parks' (なんばパークス).

Dialect Phrases:
Aji o tokihanatsu (味を解き放つ): "Unleash the flavor"

Mikudasu-daidokoro (見下す台所): Condescending Kitchen

Sore wa butaniku no rizotto o tsukuru hōhō de ~ehen (それわ豚肉のリゾットを作る方法でぇへん): "That's not how you make a pork risotto!" | Standard: Sore wa butaniku no rizotto o tsukuru hōhōdenai (それわ豚肉のリゾットを作る方法でない)

Aji o tokihanatsu tamedo tsuku hitsuyō ya (味を解き放つためどつく必要や): "You've got to pound it to unleash the flavor!" | Standard: Aji o tokihanatsu tame tataku hitsuyōda (味を解き放つため叩く必要だ)

Buta-han (豚はん): "Mr. Pig" | Standard: Buta-san (豚さん)

Ware wa niku ga ase wokaku yau ni mi (ワレは肉が汗をかくやうに見): "You look like the meat sweats" | Standard: Omae wa niku ga ase o kaku yō ni mi (お前は肉が汗をかくように見)

Hokū,-betsu no jōdan o ii, uchi wa jibun o kanden-shi sa seru tte chikai ya (ホクー、別の冗談を言い、うちは自分を感電死させるって誓や): "Hoku, you make another joke, and I swear I'll electrocute you!" | Standard: Hokū,-betsu no jōdan o ii, boku wa omae o kanden-shi sa seruto chikai yo (ホクー、別の冗談を言い、僕はお前を感電死させると誓よ)

Sonen'u na shinsende ~eyarakai hyōhon'ya (そねんうな新鮮でぇやらかい標本や): "Such a fresh and tender specimen" | Standard: Sono yōna shinsende yawarakai hyōhonda (そのような新鮮で柔らかい標本だ)

Donaizo (どないぞ): "Here you go/Go ahead/Enjoy" | Standard: Dōzo (どうぞ)

Ware-tachi wa (ワレたちわ): "You guys" | Standard: Omaetachi wa (お前たちわ)

Koko ni modotte koi (ここに戻ってこい): "Get back here!"

Imanani ya ga yatta no (今何やがやったの): "What just happened?" | Standard: Ima nani ga atta no (今何があったの)