CHAPTER 5: BEHOLD THE WORLD

"My heart is so small
It's almost invisible.
How can you place such big sorrows in it?
'Look,' he answered,
'Your eyes are even smaller,
Yet they behold the world.'"
[Rumi]

The girl spins around so swiftly that Ah-Un stumbles backwards in surprise. Her eyes are shocked and, when they land on him, they flare wide as they dart over the tattered half of his face. He remains impassive, staring at her, waiting for the inevitable.

"Sesshomaru! Oh my God, are you alright?!"

"Nothing you need concern yourself with," he answers without thought, wanting to move along the conversation. It is only when her brow furrows in confusion that his mind catches up to the question she had asked him. It his turn to feel a frisson of surprise tingle along his nerves. "I – " He cannot remember the last time someone had asked him that. When they saw his face always, without fail, if they said anything at all, it was 'what happened' – that was the only question he'd heard. From Jaken, from his advisors, his staff, the courtiers. He has not had to answer that question so he does not know what to say. "Yes, I am… sufficient," he settles for.

Her eyes, so big and blue it is easy to read every play of emotion darting through them, still seem unsure. Her mouth is pursed. She looks… honestly worried about his well-being. It might not be as hard as he had originally thought to earn her trust. "If you're sure…"

"Quite sure, miko."

"It's Kagome."

At first, he is not going to deign that with a comment, because it is meaningless information to him. But using her name might endear her to him and he nods his head in acquisition. "Kagome."

She blinks and her cheeks dust a delicate shade of pink. "Uh… yeah, anyway, I came to ask you a question."

"Indeed." He had an inkling of what her query would be and was not in the mood to come up with a diplomatic answer.

"Do you… happen to know where Inuyasha is?"

He blinked.

"It's just that, I was… away and when I came back everyone was away and I went to find Miroku because I didn't want to deal with Inuyasha and Kikyo and now I'm lost and I heard you lived near here and I thought that maybe you would help me?"

He blinked again. And then once more, trying to unravel the strung together story she'd spewed at him, none of which sounded like Inuyasha had sent her here as a spy to see if his brother was weak enough to take his title. "My brother did not send you here?"

"What? No! No offense, but he hates you. He'll be so pissed when he find out I came here."

"Then you are honestly here because you sought me out… yourself?"

"Um… yes?"

"In order to see if I would assist you in reuniting with my brother's party?"

"Yeah…"

"Even though you knew it would cause strife between you two?"

Her mouth morphed into a little moue as she frowned. "Well, he doesn't seem to care about running off to see Kikyo the moment I'm gone, so I don't really know what business it is of his if I come see you."

She wasn't really coming to see him but he decided to let that go. He had learned with Rin that many times, with human women, it was better not to correct every comment. It resulted in tantrums and tears, so he'd learned to pick and choose his battles with women as he did with enemies. "Indeed."

"And besides," she continued, "Kikyo is dead, so me seeing you is so not as bad."

What a strange young woman his brother traveled with… Sesshomaru watched her through their conversation for a sign of pity or revulsion, but found neither. Once he had told her he was fine and that his injury wasn't her concern, she seemed to take his answer at (no pun intended) face value. Her eyes never strayed across his face, tracing the contours of his ragged flesh. She did not look towards his blind eye, looking for a reaction. She held a conversation with him as if he were as he had always been. It was… unexpected.

"Well, as I have no desire to see my brother in this state," her face fell, "I shall have to come up with another means to return you to him."

When she grinned at him, he could almost see the sparks of spiritual power in the air around her. "Really?"

He nodded at her. "Unlike my brother, this Sesshomaru would not abandon a woman in distress." He squared his shoulders when she looked up at him with wide eyes. "I would implore you to stay the night while I come up with a suitable plan to return you whole and hale to your companions."

Kagome doesn't even have time to answer, to thank him for the offer. She doesn't have time to wonder if that's a good idea and try and come up with a reason why she shouldn't do that.

Because there's a loud squeal and she's suddenly slammed around the middle by a small, dark-haired projectile.

"Oh, Lord Sesshomaru! Is she going to stay with us? Is she going to live here? Does she know any stories? Do you know any stories?" The last question is the only one that is directed at her, with wide, innocent brown eyes and a gap-toothed smile. "I love stories but Master Jaken is terrible at telling them!"

"Rin, cease your manhandling of the poor girl."

Kagome glances sharply at Sesshomaru, her brows crinkled. "No, it's okay." Reaching down, she lifts Rin up, just like she used to with Shouta when he was young, resting the little girl on her hip as easily as if she's done it a thousand times. Rin seemed delighted, wrapping her legs around Kagome's hips and reaching out to twine little fingers in her hair. "I know a lot of stories, little one."

"My name is Rin!"

Kagome grinning back at her. "I'm Kagome!" This little girl was the biggest, if not the only reason, she had absolute faith that Sesshomaru was not a bad person. She looked happy and healthy, no matter the state of the house she was currently living in. No one who was a bad person could hold the heart of a little girl so fully.

"So are you coming to live with us, Kagome?"

"Oh, no, I'm just here for some help – "

"But you're staying tonight?" Those puppy-dog eyes were really too much to handle.

"I – "

"Perhaps you should show the miko to a room, Rin." Sesshomaru cut in smoothly. "Whichever one you like."

"I get to pick?!" She seems thrilled with the idea. She turns back to Kagome, her grin so wide her eyes are mere crescents. "Oh you just have to stay the night now! You can stay next to me and tell me stories tonight!"

"I – " Kagome turned to Sesshomaru, gaping, but he merely arched a brow at her, leaving it to her to break the heart of this little girl by telling her she was going to leave instead. The subtle smirk on his lips revealed that he was well aware Kagome would not have the heart for such a thing. She slumped. "Alright, Rin. You win."

"Yay!" She struggles down from Kagome's grasp, straightens her dress, pats down her hair, and then grins up at the miko, before taking ahold of her hand and beginning to tug her down the path back towards the castle.

She flashes Sesshomaru what she can only assume is a terrified look at being manhandled so succinctly by a little girl. If she didn't know him better she would swear he holds back a chuckle, or at the very least a bemused smirk, at her plight, before he falls into step beside her, Rin in the lead.

Kagome tries to eye him discretely from the corner of her eye.

He's placed himself so the profile she's confronted with is the pristine and perfect face of a taiyoukai. She's almost positive that it's an intentional placement. From this angle there is nothing amiss with him, no injury, she cannot even see his missing arm. Perhaps it is just to make sure she is always in his scope of sight, and she does not become invisible to him on his blindside. But she's seen him fight in pitch black miasma, so Kagome knows that sight is only one of the senses a powerful demon like him relies on. She wonders if he even notices that he did it.

It's a terrible injury. Like he'd had acid thrown on his face. He looked like that villain from the Batman comics her brother was so fond of reading late into the night. But Sesshomaru's eye, once golden and focused, was glazed over like ice over frozen glass, as vacant as an empty bottle. It looked painful. The skin around his eye was stretched tight as a drum, but his forehead and cheek and parts of his throat and ear were made of tattered and frayed skin, like sand dunes. His nose dipped on one side. The only thing that had escaped injury was his mouth.

She ached with curiosity to ask what had happened, but knew that another reminder of such a dilapidating injury would probably rouse his ire. She wanted to know what had been done to help him, mostly, knowing what amounted to medical treatment in this time was leeches at best and prayers at worst. It could be infected, and that could be hindering the demon healing process that she knew should have already knit the skin together. The fact that it hadn't, and the fact that he made it sound as if the injury did not happen recently, was fairly alarming. She wondered if it was the reason they hadn't seen him in over a year.

"You are thinking very loudly."

She tripped at his quiet voice. "Um… I was just wondering…" He slanted his gaze down at her, pinning her with one almond-shaped golden eye. "I was just wondering what happened here?" She gestured at the garden they were walking through, making it clear that it was its state of neglect she was referring to and nothing else.

Her exhaled softly through his nose as he turns his gaze away. But his answer is interrupted by Rin, who blabbers over him excitedly.

"The castle is the seat of the Lord of the Western Lands and is linked to his power. But when the Lord is injured or sad then it gets all gloomy and dark here."

"Rin." Sesshomaru's voice has a rumbling growl in it, a warning to cease speaking. Kagome wonders if it's the reminder that he was injured enough to let this happen to his home, or the insinuation that he was sad, which couldn't possibly be true.

Rin, either not hearing or not caring about the tone, grins over her shoulder at him. "But now that Kagome-chan is here, she'll make everything better!"

Again he slants an unwavering, impenetrable gaze down at her and she feels it shiver through her strangely, how focused he is when he looks at her and only her. "Perhaps she will."

There's nothing much she can saw to that because she doesn't understand it. And if she learned anything from Inuyasha, it was just to ignore it when demons said weird things that humans weren't meant to understand. It had served her well when dealing with Inuyasha and Koga and Shippo, and it would, apparently, serve her well when dealing with Sesshomaru. Luckily, she's saved from being forced to answer by their arrival back at the castle. Rin let's go of her hand to run inside and the older pair follow her. Sesshomaru does not look to the left or the right and Kagome does her best to do the same, not wanting to have him notice her noticing the disrepair of the castle. Could it possibly be connected to his power in the same way the garden was? Does that mean he was weaker than before or was Rin right and he was just depressed?

Rin leads them up the stairs that Kagome had ignored on her first entrance and down a long hallway. "This one! This one!" The door has intricate carvings sculpted into the dark wood – graceful dog demons on clouds of flowers.

"Rin." Sesshomaru's voice has a strange inflection to it that Kagome cannot place. "Are you certain you wish to place the… Kagome… in this room?" She does not miss his hesitation over saying her name, or his correction of it.

She turns to her guardian with a pout, stomping her foot in the beginning of a tantrum. "You said I could choose!"

There's a pause. "So I did." He gestures her forward. "Continue."

Rin's apparent tantrum fades like the summer rain and she grins at Kagome. "My room is just there," she says pointing to the door to the right. "And Lord Sesshomaru's room is just there." Here she points to the left.

Kagome turns to him, the blood vanished from her face. "Oh, no I couldn't – "

There are wheels turning in his head, she can see that, but she cannot read the expression on his stoic face. Finally, he says, "It is of no consequence, I am not often in this wing of the castle." He gestures again. "As Rin commands, these will be your quarters." She's still eyeing him warily, but, when Rin pushes the door open with a groan, she turns away from him and steps inside.

It's stunning.

No, stunning does not adequately describe the artful beauty of the room, the high ceilings and intricately carved molding. The bedposts are carved, the dresser, the chairs. Kagome feels like she could spend weeks trying to pick out all the subtle images in the artwork of carvings. The ceiling is a bright expanse of paint – clouds and flowers, geisha and samurai, demons and priestesses. It's… awe inspiring.

And, Kagome notes, there is not a single piece of dust of grime to be seen. It looks like she's stepped into a completely different castle. Or stepped backwards in time. The room is pristine and perfect. A time capsule, just waiting for someone to come and stay in it.

"It's so beautiful," she breaths out into the silence.

She doesn't turn when Sesshomaru speaks, but she can hear the frown in his voice anyway. "Rin, did you send Jaken here to clean these quarters?"

"No, my lord!" She chirps, as bright as a bird. "They're always like this!"

"Hn."

It's a noncommittal sound, so neither Kagome nor Rin respond to it. Kagome takes a few steps into the room, turning in a slow circle, her head tilted upwards to take in more of the paintings. "This looks like the set from a movie."

"What's a movie?"

Kagome jerks to a halt and looks down at Rin, who's staring up at her innocently. "Hm? Oh nothing, just something from my home." She sighed, looking at the big, plush bed. She bet it felt like sleeping on a cloud. It would be worse if she slept on it one night and then left, she knew, but she hated sleeping on the hard ground. She was actually sick of it. "This is the nicest room I think I've ever been in."

"Then you'll stay, right?"

She laughed. "For tonight, little one. Then I have to go back. I'm actually surprised Koga hasn't made it back here with Inuyasha in tow." The last sentence she muttered to herself, but she forgot about how keen youkai hearing was.

"Why would the wolf prince be on his way back here? When was he here at all?"

She blinked up at Sesshomaru owlishly. "Well, he dropped me off. I told him to go tell the others where I was, but not to come and get me, and that 'd make my own way back."

"And you believe he'd listen to you?"

Her eyes flashed. "Well if he and Inuyasha don't want a purifying arrow between wedged into their thick, dog brains they will! And stop yelling at me, I didn't do anything wrong!"

"You led that whelp right to my front door!"

"It's not exactly being guarded, Sesshomaru! And I waltzed in here easy as you please so it's not like you were paying attention anyway!"

His swiftly indrawn breath is coupled with his standing to his full staggering height and he stares down at her with his eyes flashing. "You dare speak to this Sesshomaru in this manner?"

She squares her own shoulders, though the effect is lost since she is a great deal shorter than him. But her voice is still steady with her ire. "And you dare to speak to a priestess in this manner?"

"You try my patience, woman."

"Then by all means, let me leave. I know where the door is."

"No!" Two mouths snap closed at Rin's shout and turn to look down at the girl. Her eyes are glossy with tears and her lower lip is trembling. "Kagome-chan said she would tell me a s-s-story."

The anger melts out of Kagome in a whoosh and she drops to her knees in front of the child. "Oh, I will, baby, it's okay."

"T-then you'll s-s-stay?"

"Of course, Rin."

The door slams shut as Sesshomaru turns on his heel and leaves.