I deeply apologize for the long delay. Classes are kicking my butt much harder than I expected and I just haven't had the time or energy to work on this story. But, hopefully this long ass chapter makes up for it!
WARNINGS: mentions of torture, flashbacks, implied/referenced suicide, implied/referenced child abuse
This chapter gets dark, for your own mental well-being DO NOT read if it is going to trigger you, please.
Previously:
Glancing at the clock, he decided that was enough for the night, and headed
off back to the comfort of his bed. But as he lay there in the dark, staring up at his ceiling, his
thoughts began racing again, the distraction his quirk analysis had provided gone. He cursed as
he got up, making his way to the kitchen for another cup of coffee.
"Fuck."
Izuku didn't sleep that night.
Tuesday Morning
Izuku sighed as the sun started to filter in through the window and birds began chirping. He had stayed up the whole night, compiling quirk analysis packets for class 1-A. He had finished the last one at least an hour ago, and had spent the rest of the time until sunrise going through his morning routine. Shower, coffee, get dressed, coffee, brush his teeth, coffee…
There was an unhealthy amount of coffee consumption going on.
"Fuck off, I can't sleep so I'll stock up on as much artificial energy as I can. You know I burn through the effects of caffeine way too quickly for it to matter."
Someone's testy today...
"You bet your ass I am."
Healthy or not- it was a lot of coffee...
Not seeing the point of sticking around his apartment any longer, Izuku decided to go ahead and make his way to UA. It was a little early, but hopefully that meant there wouldn't be many people there to question who he was. He really didn't feel like dealing with even more new people today. Meeting all of 1-A had been nerve-wracking enough. And not only had he met 1-A, he had offered to adopt a kid. What the fuck was he thinking? He's barely a functioning adult by himself-
"Hey!"
- how was he going to handle taking care of a kid? He wouldn't go back on his word though, of that he was certain. Shinsou deserved better than that shitty orphanage that tormented him for his quirk. He deserved better than Izuku, but seeing as there weren't a lot of options, the kid would just have to live with a slightly less shitty guardian. Izuku wished he could be a good guardian for him, he really did, but he knew for a fact he wouldn't be giving up his vigilante activities, wouldn't stop throwing himself into danger head first. At least the kid was guaranteed not to lose him, nothing had been able to kill Izuku yet. He may not be the perfect guardian, but he would be a permanent one, so there was that, at least.
"Can't really argue with you there. I have no idea how to parent a kid."
The one benefit of being up so early was the train ride to UA had been fairly empty, which gave Izuku time to gather his thoughts, to center himself in the here and now. He could handle another day, he'd already made it through one. All he'd have to do was avoid the other staff as much as possible, help the kids with their quirks, and then go home and actually get some sleep. Should be no problem, right?
Izuku scoffed to himself in disbelief.
When were things ever so simple?
Izuku regretted his decision to make a pot of coffee in the staff room. He had thought it would've been fine, seeing as it was still so early, but no sooner had he poured himself a cup, none other than Present Mic and Midnight walked in. He had to work extra hard not to just blurt questions at them, his brain to mouth filter a little faulty after no sleep. As it was, he just ended up staring at them like a deer caught in headlights.
"Well, well, well. What do we have here? Fresh meat?"
"Hey there little listener, what are you doing here?"
Izuku's eyebrow twitched, he knew he looked a little younger than his actual age due to his quirk, but he was plenty tall. He most certainly was not 'little'.
"I'm Midoriya Izuku, I'm a new teacher here. It's nice to meet you both." Izuku bowed, as was polite, but quickly made his way to the door as the other two moved to the coffee pot. "I'm very sorry, but I really should be going now. I look forward to working with you both in the future." bowing one more time for good measure, Izuku practically ran out the door and to the safety of class 1-A. He would just hang out in the relative privacy of the classroom until the school day started.
Izuku was tired. It was more exhausting than he thought it would be, observing niceties with the other staff he inevitably ran into throughout the day. Dealing with 1-A was a piece of cake compared to that.
As expected, the kids had lots of questions after reading over their individual quirk packets, but Izuku had been more than happy to answer each and every one.
He would much rather theorize about quirks with the kids than continue to try and dodge Midnight and Present Mic in the hallways. He wasn't sure what he had done to cause such a reaction, but the two seemed to pop out of nowhere any time Izuku left the classroom, trying to engage him in conversation. But then they always ended up devolving into bickering, and Aizawa would drag Izuku off with an annoyed huff. Perhaps it was normal behavior for them, if Aizawa wasn't concerned about it- though to be fair, Aizawa didn't seem to be concerned about a lot of things. Despite Katsuki telling him stories about it, Izuku was still shocked when the man had pulled out a sleeping bag as soon as homeroom started, taking a nap and leaving Izuku to deal with the kids. He would have to remind himself to thank Iida later, the boy had been very helpful in getting the others to ask him questions one at a time. Honestly, dealing with all of 1-A's questions had been the highlight of his day. It felt good, helping them. One of the first students he had met, Kaminari, seemed particularly grateful to have Izuku answer his questions. Izuku had guessed, after seeing the negative side-effects of his quirk the first day, that he might have some learning troubles. Izuku would have to talk to Nedzu about implementing some after-school program or something, because he was certain Kaminari was not the only one who could use it. Quirks were incredible, amazing in the vast amount of feats they could accomplish, but they were not without their repercussions. There was always a drawback, and some worse than others. Kaminari did have some bad luck in that regard, but it couldn't all be blamed on his quirk. The adults and teachers in his life should've realized that frying his brain by overusing his quirk was not healthy,-
Hands, the hands were back.
They were strapping him to that chair again.
-they should have stopped him.-
He screamed and flailed but he was no match.
They didn't listen.
They didn't care.
He hated the chair. It was the worst.
They always put rubber in his mouth.
It tasted disgusting.
But then they'd turn the chair on.
And he couldn't even scream as his muscles clenched involuntarily and his nerves burned from the inside out.
-But, what's done is done, and all Izuku could do now is help the boy deal with the consequences. Some things were just going to be a little bit harder for Kaminari than for others, but that was okay, Izuku would be there to help. He would make sure the boy achieved his dreams.
'Shit, I've kind of adopted another one, haven't I?'
Izuku sighed to himself, running a hand through his already tangled curls anxiously. He couldn't get rid of the feeling of apprehension in his gut. It felt like something was just on the verge of happening but he didn't know what and it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. There was no way he was getting any sleep tonight either.
Glancing at the clock, Izuku decided it was still too early to head out for his vigilante activities, so he would do some research instead. Perhaps he could even find some clues to where that group of jewelry thieves would be tonight. They had been evading the police quite skillfully so far, and usually Izuku wouldn't interfere in petty theft, but a child had been injured and their last escape and that Izuku could not let slide.
Wednesday 1:25 am
As it turns out, Izuku was able to find the information he was looking for. He had found someone on one of the message boards that vigilantes tended to frequent who had given him a tip. Izuku thought they could have chosen a more interesting name, ashtray69 was hardly clever or fun... But it didn't really matter, they had information and had been all too happy to give it to Izuku. Vigilantes tended to have at least one code- and that was you didn't hurt children. Period. Izuku knew he wasn't the only one who was looking for these guys, but he was the one who lived the closest. So he had thanked ashtray -
"They really couldn't have thought of a better name? I mean come on! That's so boring!"
Let it go, Izuku.
"Maybe I should come up with a new name for them! You know, as thanks for the tip! Ooooo, I know! How about-"
-and he had gathered his gear, taking to the rooftops quickly. It was much quicker to travel that way, and most heroes patrolling the streets didn't bother looking up.
As Izuku was approaching his destination he suddenly froze, something tickling at the back of his mind. He glanced around wearily, wondering if he was being watched and-
There, crouched on a rooftop several buildings away, was Aizawa. Izuku froze, holding his breath as he waited for the man to turn and see him.
But he didn't.
The man's back remained turned the other way, watching the streets below.
Could he not feel Izuku nearby? Why had Izuku felt him then? How strange…
Smirking, Izuku decided not to question this stroke of good luck too much, and quickly hopped down from the rooftop, taking to the streets instead. He knew it was inevitable that he would cross Aizawa's field of vision, as he didn't have much time left and his destination was in the direction Aizawa was scanning. That was fine though. It would be fun to mess with the man. Izuku knew Tsukauchi had invited the hero onto his case, the detective had told him when he asked if Izuku had any new information he could share. And he also knew the detective wanted Aizawa to gather intel, that the erasure hero wasn't likely to try and catch him on the first encounter. Really, it would be such a waste of a perfect opportunity if he didn't mess with the hero…
Perhaps he held a tiny bit of a grudge for the whole damaged bond thing… Well, that, and he just liked screwing with people.
He blamed Nedzu.
Izuku was pleased, when as predicted, the man began to tail him from a respectable distance. If it weren't for the bond, Izuku probably would have never even noticed the man. He was good, but tonight, Izuku was lucky.
As he stopped at the mouth of the alley, Izuku had to put extra effort into suppressing his chuckles. He knew the man was watching him closely, so he couldn't let Aizawa know that he knew the hero was there.
But it was hard.
Even just imagining the look of bewilderment on the heroes face after Izuku pulls off his plan- which, of course he will- made him want to burst out laughing.
He couldn't wait to see it. And he would, his plans rarely failed, not with such low ranking villains as this group was.
Izuku focused back when headlights began approaching.
It was time.
Izuku chuckled to himself on the way to the train, just remembering what had gone down a few hours ago. He had stuck around after tying up the thieves, getting a good vantage point from the roof across the street. The confused expression on Aizawa's face was even better than he had imagined! It had improved his mood significantly, sleep deprived and anxious as he may be, to see the usually stoic man react like that….
He may or may not have snuck a picture of it.
And he may or may not have sent it to Nedzu.
Over an entirely secure and encrypted line, of course. He wasn't an amateur. He knew Nedzu would never turn him in, but if Izuku was ever discovered, it would give the rat plausible deniability.
Izuku sighed, amusement fading as he remembered exactly where he was heading. There was something he needed to do today, and he knew, in his current mental state, it was not going to be easy.
But it was unavoidable, it needed to be done.
Thankfully, the curiosity of the new staff member seemed to have died down a little bit, and the other teachers let him be that morning- well, except for Midnight and Mic, those two were still being weird. Izuku didn't get it, nor did he have the mental capacity to really worry about it at present.
But, overall, not a bad morning.
Now came the hard part.
He needed to talk to the Todoroki boy.
Thankfully, Aizawa had already slumped out of class, well before the lunch bell, so he wouldn't question why Izuku needed to pull aside his top student.
"Ah, Todoroki-kun, can I talk to you for a second?" The kid looked nervous as he walked up to Izuku in the quickly emptying classroom, the other kids rushing off to lunch without hesitation.
"Did I do something wrong, Sensei?"
"No, no! Nothing like that, I promise." Izuku chuckled nervously, unsure how this encounter was about to go. Todoroki was fairly closed off, he may not take to Izuku's meddling well…
But it needed to be done.
Izuku waited until the last student had left before closing the door. He was sure this wouldn't be a conversation Todoroki wanted others to overhear.
"Todoroki-kun, I'm going to get straight to the point, if you don't mind?"
"Yes. What is it, Sensei?" Izuku took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for the ensuing conversation.
"Does your father abuse you?" The boy's eyes winded, almost comically, and there was a moment of silence as the boy fumbled for the words to respond.
"I-is it because of the scar? It's not new, I promi-" Izuku cut him off, shaking his head.
"It's not the scar, Todoroki-kun. I watched you yesterday with your classmates. You were closed off, you held everyone at arm's length and any sudden movements they made around you caused you to flinch. Those are not the habits of someone who lives in a safe environment." Izuku stared earnestly at Todoroki, hoping he could tell that Izuku was sincere in his concern, that he was here to listen and help, no matter what.
"Well, he does get a bit overzealous with training sometimes...:" The boy glanced away, unable to look Izuku in the eyes. He felt his stomach sink. That action alone had pretty much confirmed his suspicions.
"Todoroki-kun, if I may ask, when did he start training you?"
"I was 4… Maybe 5. I can't remember exactly. It was after my quirk first appeared… I was the perfect combination of his and my mom's quirks. I have thre- two older siblings. But they didn't have good enough quirks, nothing but failed experiments to him-"
Izuku hated it when he was alone. But he hated it more when the mean men came. There had been one boy, he seemed close to Izuku's own age, who was nice. Izuku wasn't sure why the boy was forced to help the mean men, but he always apologized to Izuku after it was over.
He liked that.
But then the boy had stopped coming. After the mean men with the too white coats had finally forced his quirk to manifest, he hadn't seen the boy.
Izuku was so lonely.
He wished his friend would come back.
Had he done something wrong, was that why had disappeared?
If only he could see the boy again, he could apologize to ᴍ̵̬͂̑͑̄̕̕̕ᴓ̷̰͐̑͐̆́ᶕ̶͙̦̪̜̮͐͗ᵩ̸̢̡͚͈̖͒̓͌͒͒̚͠ᴧ̷̢̩̝̪̣̝͑̅ᵽ̷͚̪͆͂ for whatever it was he did, and everything would be alright.
They could be friends again!
Then he wouldn't have to be so lonely anym-
"-idoriya-sensei… Midoriya-sensei!" Izuku jerked as a cold hand landed on his shoulder and it took everything in him not to lash out. He was aware enough to know he wasn't actually stuck back in those memories, but his body was in fight or flight mode regardless.
Focus.
He needed to focus.
There was a very worried and definitely abused kid that needed him right now.
"Ye-yes, Todoroki-kun?" The boy looked wary as he slowly withdrew his hand from Izuku's shoulder.
"Are you okay? You weren't responding…" Izuku sighed, running a tired hand through his hair.
"I-I'm fine Todoroki-kun, just a bad memory. Please ignore it." The boy looked unsure, but nodded anyway.
"If you say so…"
"Now, back to what we were talking about… I need you to tell me straight out, are you and your siblings currently in danger living in that house?" Yes, that's right, he needed to focus on what matters right now. The ghosts of the past can wait.
"I- no… Not right now. He's away on a month-long mission." Izuku let out a sigh of relief. At least he had some time to plan now. Endeavor was the number two hero, it wouldn't be easy to discredit him.
"Alright, that's good. I'm going to get you all out of the house Todoroki-kun, I promise. Here," Izuku pulled a piece of paper out of his bag, scribbling on it quickly, "this is my cell number. Call if anything happens, I promise I'll be there as fast as I can." The boy looked shocked. Izuku didn't blame him, it was a lot to process.
"B- Wh- Sensei… Why?" Izuku sighed, a pained look clouding his usually shining emeralds.
"Because, Todoroki-kun, no one deserves to grow up like that."
'No one deserves to grow up in fear of their life, especially not from their parent.'
If the boy shed a few tears, and clung to Izuku for support, well, there was no one else around to see it, and Izuku wouldn't be telling anybody.
Izuku didn't end up getting lunch that day, but he thought a missed meal was well worth it.
As soon as Izuku headed home that day, he went straight to his computer, trying to find any dirt he could on Endeavor. It wasn't easy, the man was the number two hero, after all. He had more than enough money to pay the right people to cover his tracks.
And that just pissed Izuku off more.
He hated that powerful people like Endeavor could get away with his crimes simply because he had the money and influence to cover his unseemly actions up,-
Izuku was disoriented, his mind and vision hazy.
What had the man given him?
Why couldn't he move?
Why couldn't he speak?
Who was touching him?
He didn't like the feel of those hands on him.
He wanted them off.
He wanted them off now!
"Now now, don't try to fight it, you'll only make it worse, Izuku-kun. It would be such a waste to ruin the experiment already, I paid quite the large sum for you, you know? So be a good boy, won't you? It'll make it easier for both of us, I promise."
Lies.
Lies.
Nothing but lies spilling from lips he couldn't even see.
He suddenly felt like there was some war waging in his body.
He was sweating profusely.
He was shaking from the cold.
What was happening to him?
What had the man done?!
-money should not be enough to cover such corruption. It was wrong. It was unfair. But it was also just how the world worked. Izuku didn't care though, if he couldn't find the evidence he needed, he would just have to take matters into his own hands. He would 'kidnap' the Todoroki children if need be, hide them until he could find proper evidence. He was not going to just stand by and let them be hurt any longer.
Izuku ran a trembling hand through his hair, refusing to acknowledge how bad that last memory had shaken him. That was the clearest memory he had had in a long time…
It was time to find a proper distraction.
Thursday 2:00 am
Izuku was wound tight. He was anxious, he was angry, and he needed to let off some steam. So tonight he had decided to leave all his weapons behind. They would only slow him down in a close combat fight, which he very much planned to get into.
He was prowling the streets tonight for the express purpose of taking out this restless energy on whatever poor villain crossed his path first. He wasn't picky, he just needed someone to fight. Someone who could use a good punch in the face.
And what perfect timing.
As soon as Izuku rounded the corner, he ran straight into a fleeing villain, a bag clutched tight to his chest. There was blood on the bag that clearly didn't belong to the villain.
"I don't think that belongs to you, Mister." The villain growled, stepping back.
"That's none of your fucking business, hero. " Izuku let out a sharp bark of laughter as he ran forward, punching the larger man square in the face, causing him to drop the bag.
"I'm no hero."
It hadn't taken him long to subdue the villain. It was disappointing, really. Izuku would have thought for as large as he was, he would have put up a better fight. Sighing in frustration, body still tense and restless, Izuku tied the man up, calling it into the police on his burner phone. He had beaten the villain up pretty good, the least he could do was make sure the police found him quickly. Which they should, the idiot had been running away straight in the direction of the station.
As Izuku turned to leave, ready to find another villainous punching bag, the hairs on the back of his neck suddenly stood on end as he could feel that familiar presence at his back.
When had Aizawa gotten there?
How long had he been following Izuku?
Why hadn't he noticed him sooner, like he had last night?
Izuku made sure not to falter in his steps though, it would do no good to alert the man that he knew something was up.
Perhaps he could find his stress relief tonight in messing with Aizawa again. It had worked wonders last time, after all.
Decision made, Izuku kept up his moderate pace as he led Aizawa in loops around town, aiming to confuse his sense of direction as he made random twists in turns down the numerous allies of the area. He only stopped when he thought the man was turned around enough to not realize how close to Katsuki's- and therefore Izuku's apartment he was.
Knowing the man would continue to keep his distance, most likely from the rooftop across the street, Izuku entered the little convenience store. He frequented this place as both Akabana and Izuku, and he was on good terms with the family that owned it. They have never brought up the vigilante thing, and it remained an unspoken secret between them. After all, why would they turn in the one who protected their store from villains and thieves?
"Hey Bana, long night tonight?" Izuku sighed as he moved to the back, grabbing himself a coffee, as well as one for Aizawa. He made an educated guess on which brand the man would enjoy, hopefully it would be alright.
"Make that long nights. It's been a rough week." The kid nodded in understanding, ringing up the two items.
"On your tab as usual?" Izuku nodded, ripping a sheet off the little notepad he kept with him and scribbling the erasure hero a note.
"Yeah, I'll swing by in a few hours and pay it." Izuku set the note on the counter, leaving it beside Aizawa's coffee as he picked up his own can. "Eraserhead is probably going to come through those doors any minute. Can you do me a favor and give these to him?" The kid lifted an inquisitive eyebrow, but nodded.
"Eraser huh? They're really getting desperate to catch you, aren't they?" Izuku chuckled, slipping the can of coffee into the pocket of his suit jacket.
"Yeah, they are. Well, I'm off now, can't afford to hang around any longer."
"Okay, see you…. Take care of yourself Bana, you know how Mom worries."
"You too, Tetsuya-kun. And tell your mother not to worry so much, I'm fine."
No you're not.
"Shut up."
"You can tell her yourself in a few hours, she has the morning shift." Izuku called out his confirmation as he headed out the back door, peaking around the corner and waiting for Aizawa to enter the shop in order to make his way back home.
It wasn't as satisfying as last time, not being able to see the hero's face as Izuku managed to evade him yet again, but he could always ask Tetsuya later. The boy may be painfully deadpan and quiet, but he was mischievous at heart. Izuku was sure the boy had recorded the encounter for him somehow.
Izuku had spent the next few hours until sunrise once again trying to dig up dirt on Endeavor. He was tempted to seek information on the vigilante message boards, but it felt like a violation of Shouto's trust and privacy to do so. He supposed he could ask some very general questions, but Izuku thought it wasn't wise given the vast influence of the man. He wouldn't put it past the number two hero to have people monitoring such information. He didn't want to put the other vigilantes who used the page in danger either, so he held off, he would only do it if he got truly desperate. For now he would continue to try and find information on his own.
But not right now.
Now he had to get ready to head to UA once again.
He really hoped today would be a quiet day, his flashbacks were getting more and more frequent, and the littlest things were setting them off now, the lack of sleep impairing his ability to block such things out.
Izuku shouldn't have been surprised, he was adopting one boy and had promised to help the other get out of a bad situation, it was no wonder they started seeking him out just to chat. He didn't mind it, really, mostly they just talked about quirks, which Izuku enjoyed immensely. It actually helped to keep his mind off other, more unpleasant things. But still, Izuku was touched that the two already felt so close to him as to want to seek him out for even the most mundane of questions. It set a little part of him at ease, having gained their trust so easily.
Maybe he wasn't half bad at this whole teaching thing after all.
"Ah, excuse me, Midoriya-sensei. Can I ask you a question before you go?"
Izuku, flinched, flashbacks of his conversation with Shinsou running through his mind. He really hoped he wasn't about to adopt another one, Izuku wasn't sure he could handle the stress.
"Yes, Aoyama-kun, what did you need to ask me about?"
"Well, it's about my quirk..." Izuku paled, it really was like Shinsou all over again.
"Yes?" The boy bit his lip, looking away.
"I have trouble with it, it's very hard for me to use without this support item, and I know that's a weakness a hero can't afford."
Oh, well that, that Izuku could deal with.
"Ah, I see… Can you give me more details? I need to know exactly what the trouble is to be able to make a plan to fix it." The boy brightened, practically sparkling. It was a little scary, frankly.
"Really?! You can help?" Izuku chuckled, running an embarrassed hand through the back of his hair. He wasn't used to being stared at with such admiration.
"Well, I can certainly try… So, what seems to be the problem, Aoyama-kun?" The boy took off his large belt, handing it over to Izuku to examine.
"That is my support item. It helps focus and enhance my navel laser, without it, it's nothing but a trickle of light." Izuku turned the belt over in his hands, mentally noting down its features and functions.
"A laser huh… I thought as much, watching you train, but it's good to know for sure. Lasers are notoriously tricky quirks to master, but I'm sure I can think of something, I'll just have to do some more research… What about side-effects, what are your limits right now?" The boy's mood dropped suddenly at the mention of limits. Izuku could understand that, talking about your limitations was never easy, especially if you struggled with them as much as Izuku suspected Aoyama had.
"I can only fire it for one second at a time. Any longer and I get terribly sick."
"I see... That can't be easy, Aoyama-kun, but I'm sure with more training…" Izuku trailed off, he could see the boy's eyes shine as he bit his lip, holding back tears of frustration as he glared at the hand over his stomach.
"I really am just incompatible with my quirk, aren't I?"
Izuku was in and out of consciousness.
"Dammit he rejected it again!"
Everything hurt.
"But he's the only quirkless subject we've had in a long time."
He felt strange. Lopsided.
"Make sure he doesn't bleed out and then throw him back in his room. We'll try again tomorrow."
Where was his arm?
"Yes, Sir."
What had they done to him?!
"He better show results soon, quirkless or not, he's wasting our time and money."
Izuku tried to move his arm, but nothing happened.
"We have no need for such an incompatible subject."
His eyes opened for just a second, and he could see the bloody stump that was now his shoulder.
His arm was gone.
"We need results. And soon."
He wanted to scream, but his body wasn't listening to his commands.
"Otherwise, it's my head on the chopping block and Se-"
"-nsei! Sensei, are you okay?! Should I go get Recovery Girl?... You don't look so good." Izuku sucked in a sharp breath, trying desperately to control the trembling of his body.
"N-no. I'm fine, don't call for anyone, I just need a moment." Aoyama didn't look convinced, but he did as asked, keeping a steadying hand on Izuku's shoulder as the man continued to shake.
"Midoriya-sensei… Are you sure you're okay?" Izuku nodded, forcing himself to stand up straight, putting on the best front he could. He didn't need the boy to worry about him, it wasn't anything he could help fix. It was just something Izuku would have to deal with on his own. As always.
"I promise, Aoyama-kun, I'm fine," Izuku smiled, but he was fooling no one, "I just got a little light-headed there, I'll be okay." The boy eyed him wearily.
"If you're sure…" Izuku patted the boy's hand reassuringly before moving it off his shoulder.
"I'm sure. Now, about what you were saying. Give me some time to think on it, and I'll try to come up with an effective training regime to help lessen the side-effects of your quirk which should in turn help with your dependency on the belt."
"Really?!"
"Yes, really. Now go home Aoyama-kun, get some rest."
"You too Sensei. And thank you."
Izuku slumped as the boy finally left the class, running a still-trembling hand through his hair.
'God, I just want to fucking sleep.'
But of course, just like every other night that week, the second Izuku closed his eyes, he was assaulted by visions of his past. So, for the fourth night in a row, Izuku pulled out his vigilante gear, and settled his mask on his face with an exhausted sigh.
It was better than sitting in his apartment, tormented by his own mind, at least.
Perhaps he would do some recon on Endeavor tonight, see if there was anyone out there who could verify the man had broken more than just protocols in his hero work. Izuku would almost bet it was the case. The man had no trouble terrorizing his kids, why not add villains to the list?
Friday 1:00 am
Ironically, Izuku decided the best place to start his search was none other than UA. Nedzu wasn't an idiot, there was no way the rat hadn't noticed something off about the Todorokis. In fact, Izuku would bet the principal already had a file started on the matter. He could kick himself for not thinking of it sooner, but he supposed he could be forgiven, it had been a roller coaster of a week and it didn't help that he was sleep deprived.
It didn't take long for Izuku to find what he was looking for in Nedzu's office. No doubt the rat had known Izuku would try here eventually and had left it out in plain sight.
Well, plain sight to someone like Izuku.
Sometimes the rat's foresight truly was terrifying.
He knew, as Akabana, Izuku could bend the rules far more than Nedzu would be able to as principal of UA, so to make sure Izuku got the information without directly sharing it with him like this?
Like he said, terrifying.
Izuku didn't want to take his time snooping though, worried about being found out. It would be bad to be caught at UA, and he knew from the schedule on the wall that Aizawa would be coming to patrol near the school soon, so he took pictures of the documents instead, quickly putting everything back into its place before he left.
He was stopped from fleeing though when he noticed someone else trying to break in…
Through the front gate...
Idiot.
Izuku sighed as he quickly subdued the man, tying him up and leaving him for Aizawa to find. He didn't feel like sticking around any longer tonight, he had important information that needed looking over.
Izuku had a splitting headache, his eyes throbbing as he squinted down at his phone, vision blurry as he tried to read the morning's news. Besides the awful and traumatizing flashbacks, this was what he hated the most about sleep deprivation- the inability to get his eyes to just focus so he could read whatever was in front of him. He zoomed in as far as he could on the article, moving the phone closer to his face to help. Katsuki huffed in annoyance beside him at the action.
"You haven't been sleeping, have you." It wasn't a question. Izuku knew it wasn't a question. Katsuki had been through this situation enough times to recognize the signs for what they were.
"..." Izuku decided to stay quiet, there was nothing to really say anyway. He hadn't slept since he started teaching at UA and both he and Katsuki knew it.
"Tch. You're a fucking idiot." Izuku sighed. That was probably the tamest reaction he could expect from the boy. Likely, if they weren't on the train, he would be getting yelled at right about now.
"You know I can't help it Kacchan. The memories…" Izuku shuddered. He didn't even like thinking about it, much less uttering the words.
"Take your fucking medicine then you damn nerd. You have it for a reason." Izuku sighed, he had already tried that.
"And you know it doesn't always work…" Katsuki's head snapped to Izuku, considering. His expression didn't show it, but Izuku could see that glint in his eyes- he was worried.
"Your quirk acting up again?" Izuku glanced out the window, watching as the train began pulling into their stop.
"Yeah."
"Hn… Just don't do anything stupid… Understand? Fucking nerd." Izuku just laughed weakly. It was always amusing to him when the boy tried to cover up his feelings with that sharp tongue of his. Izuku knew how to read between the lines though, knew the boy was genuinely concerned for his health- regardless of how unnecessary that was.
"Roger that, Kacchan. I'll be on my best behavior. Promise." Katsuki just huffed as he turned, leading the way out of the train station.
"Liar."
They spent the rest of the walk to UA in silence.
Izuku felt bad.
He knew he wouldn't be able to keep that promise, and Katsuki knew it too. It was stupid to attempt to assuage the boy's worries that way, not when Katsuki knew him so well.
Izuku should have just stayed home that day.
All day he had been stuck in some kind of tortuous limbo, his memories superimposed onto the present, the lines of reality and consciousness blurring.
He couldn't escape-
"This is for your own good, Izuku-kun. You wanted to be a he-"
"-roes. And as future heroes, you all need to ta-"
"-ke your medicine Izuku. You don't want to do this the ha-"
"-rd, but the training you're doing now is important. If you don't want to fa-"
"-ilure. You are a failure, Izuku. You'd best hope your qu-"
"-irks. You need to push them to their limit if you hope to reach the level of a pro one day."
Izuku's eyes were glazed over, he couldn't tell where he was.
When he was.
No. Not the chair again. Anything but the chair please!
He felt trapped.
Izuku didn't understand what they wanted from him.
A scared little boy in a man's body.
They kept going on and on about his quirk.
But he didn't have a quirk, so what could they possibly want?!
"Midoriya-sensei, can you he-"
"-lp me out here, Izuku-kun. I don't like having to hurt you like this…"
A lie.
Those were lies.
I zuku knew. Could see the evil grin on the man's face whenever he caused him pain.
He enjoyed it.
"If you would just cooperate, I wouldn't need to hurt you."
More lies.
Izuku had tried.
He had tried everything.
It didn't matter what he did, the men in the strange coats always came, they always hurt.
"Bye Sensei! Have a good we-"
"-eeks. It's been weeks, Izuku. Most patients would have adapted by now, stop fighting it."
Over and over and over they kept telling him 'to stop fighting it'.
Fighting what?
He didn't understand.
He was in his apartment.
"What did you do?! Tell me what you did Izuku! I'm afraid I'll be forced to take drastic measures if you don't."
When had he even left UA?
What drastic measures?
What else could they possibly do to him that they hadn't done already?
I zuku was no longer impressed by their threats.
What was the worst they could do?
They had already tortured him.
Cut off his arm.
Killed him.
"Fuck...off." It was hard for Izuku to speak around the rubber gag in his mouth, but he managed.
"Wrong choice, Izuku. Say goodbye to your little friend ᴍ̵̬͂̑͑̄̕̕̕ᴓ̷̰͐̑͐̆́ᶕ̶͙̦̪̜̮͐͗ᵩ̸̢̡͚͈̖͒̓͌͒͒̚͠ᴧ̷̢̩̝̪̣̝͑̅ᵽ̷͚̪͆͂. You won't be seeing him again. Ever."
Izuku screamed and thrashed even before the chair was turned on.
They couldn't.
ᴍ̵̬͂̑͑̄̕̕̕ᴓ̷̰͐̑͐̆́ᶕ̶͙̦̪̜̮͐͗ᵩ̸̢̡͚͈̖͒̓͌͒͒̚͠ᴧ̷̢̩̝̪̣̝͑̅ᵽ̷͚̪͆͂ hadn't done anything wrong.
He was innocent.
He was Izuku's only friend.
Izuku hadn't even gotten the chance to apologize for whatever it was that had made the boy stop seeing him in the first place.
They couldn't!
Not ᴍ̵̬͂̑͑̄̕̕̕ᴓ̷̰͐̑͐̆́ᶕ̶͙̦̪̜̮͐͗ᵩ̸̢̡͚͈̖͒̓͌͒͒̚͠ᴧ̷̢̩̝̪̣̝͑̅ᵽ̷͚̪͆͂!
Why couldn't he get the memories to stop?!
Izuku clutched at his head, mouth open in a silent scream but his eyes were unseeing, trapped in the world of his memories.
They had done it.
They had killed ᴍ̵̬͂̑͑̄̕̕̕ᴓ̷̰͐̑͐̆́ᶕ̶͙̦̪̜̮͐͗ᵩ̸̢̡͚͈̖͒̓͌͒͒̚͠ᴧ̷̢̩̝̪̣̝͑̅ᵽ̷͚̪͆͂.
No...not them.
Izuku had done it.
It was all Izuku's fault.
Just like his mother.
He had killed them.
He had killed both of them.
He deserved to be tortured.
He deserved to pay for what he had done.
He was a monst-
A sickening snap rang out in the quiet apartment, echoing hauntingly off the walls as Izuku slumped lifelessly to the ground, mind finally blessedly silent.
It was hard to think when you're dead, after all.
AHHHHH I wasn't going to leave it on a cliffhanger but it was already like 6.8k long and it was such a good place to end! Hope you all enjoyed!
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Stay safe out there lovelies!
。(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ❤