(A/N): Hey everyone, I know its been a while. No overly long AN this time I promise - things haven't really been going well for me in real life at all. My mother nearly died last month and then recently our dog of 12 years died. I still cry sometimes. I didn't even think I could write this chapter, its like the wind has been taken out of my sails. I promised myself I would continue to write though, and I hope I can still deliver the same content you've all come to enjoy.

Fives had been blown up before, he'd been thrown around by mortar shells, taken a shot or two, fallen from ledges, even been hit by a speeder bike once during a training accident. He didn't think anything could hurt more than any of those things, yet Adorsha's tears had created an ache in his chest that had remained since she'd called him by his number, not his name. He was sure the others could tell something was off, even Dogma had pointed out during target practice he had been a lot quieter than usual, as opposed to jovially cheering his brothers on. Instead he had remained steadfast, silent, having to concentrate more than normal. Just as he did now, laying on his back in his bunk, staring up at Jesse's bunk.

For now he was alone, reflecting in his isolation on everything. On what had happened on the surface and in the caves of Ren Vhar, on how she had practically growled at Ventress before she could kill him. Worse still, he realized in retrospect that the pale skinned woman had been right - they both had feelings, yet neither of them could admit it. For if they did, that meant Adorsha was going against the Jedi code, and that quite possibly he was unfit for duty under her leadership. The kiss they had shared haunted him in his sleep, each time Fives shut his eyes, all he could see was her in his arms again looking up at him with such fervent admiration he thought he would melt. It wasn't just the kiss either, there were other dreams much, much worse than that one.

His dream of seeing her in that bikini on the cover of that holomag had taken on a life of its own. Before, he had just been enjoying Adorsha's company in the same subterranean hot springs as he had in real life. Then her wrappings had turned into that bikini, shortly thereafter it had evolved into the both of them taking a prolonged leave of absence to Zeltros. He could only wonder if her skin became a deeper shade of purple or if her white markings became even more prominent if she was exposed to the sun long enough. Fives thought back to his dream, closing his eyes again he could still picture her on top of him, their arms wrapped around each other. Her smile had been warmer than the hot sun that beat down on them, just before the ocean washed its cooling spray over them. The sudden cold would send a jolt through her, making her cling even tighter to him trying to share his warmth. Fives would always tighten his hold around her, moving her lekku over his shoulders to shield and warm them. A lavender palm would sweep the wet strands of hair off of his face, before Adorsha would press her lips to his own, sweetly kissing beneath the blue sky in their own paradise. Her hands would be splayed against his chest as she pulled back, his arms still wrapped around her as she purred out the words that she was forbidden to say.

Then, just as he did now, he would open his eyes and be brought back to the cold recycled air of the ship beneath iridescent lights, covered by his cotton sheets and alone. No waves crashing on the shore, no wind through his hair, and no Adorsha. He was just another Clone in another ship, another number in a sea of them, surrounded by them.

"Do I make myself clear, ARC-27-5555?"

Fives cringed at that memory and looked at the wall. The way she had said it had been colder than the planet they had just been through hell and back on. Yet he hadn't missed the choked out little sob she'd let out when she had walked away. He had wanted to go after her, but she had given him his orders. Orders he had to follow without question. It's what he had been made for, after all.

"You're not a number, Fives,"

Had she been telling the truth back then? It felt more genuine than the last time they had spoken together. Fives wasn't exactly an idealist, perhaps his thinking was a little bit forward and out there when it came to his ideas, however he couldn't deny the warmth that spread through him thinking about Adorsha's words then. She had told him he was something more than a number, inferred that perhaps he had been made for a different reason, that the force had willed it so. He wanted to believe her, he really did, and he couldn't deny that she made him feel like something more too. Fives didn't feel like just another number when he was with his brothers, or the Jedi.

His brothers were worried about him, and he didn't blame them. Rex had pulled him aside last time they had been doing their laps to check in with him. Fives couldn't tell him the truth, however he knew his Captain was smart, he had asked if this was about their General and Fives hadn't even answered when he told him if he needed anything to come to him. He had overheard him later talking to Tup to keep an eye on him when he had to go to a meeting. That was how he had ended up with Tup's extra blanket sitting on the edge of his bed folded neatly. He didn't feel particularly sleepy right now, but he wouldn't say no to an extra blanket with how cold the barracks could get at night, even if his blood ran hotter than the average shiny.

Fives sat up with a sigh. He couldn't go on like this, and he couldn't ignore Adorsha forever. He was sure she had been purposely avoiding him and he didn't blame her. However there was just too much he needed to say, too much left unsaid. Just thinking about talking to her after what happened made his stomach twist and a large lump suddenly catch in his throat. What he was feeling he knew was enough for a brother to go missing on Kamino, or have your mind wiped and reassigned. Fives had to talk to her, even if it truly was selfish, he needed clarification. It would be hard to ignore the secret yearning for validation, until they spoke though, he knew this feeling of crushing melancholy wouldn't die.

If he just asked her outright, Fives knew Adorsha would just deny his request. No, he had to play this smart. He needed a plan. In order to get her alone she would have to either be already caught up in a task or in a place where they could have some privacy. Fives thought about her quarters, it was likely the safest bet when it came to privacy, but given how high risk of somebody questioning him being there would be without revealing his true intent, it was too risky. Thinking about the layout of the ship, Fives did recall one place that would fit his needs.

Getting up, he did a quick check of his equipment before heading out into the common room. It was a place where they were supposed to blow off steam while keeping out of trouble whenever they were off duty. They may have been bred to be soldiers, but just like natural born people, they needed recreation and down time when they were off-duty. It was supposed to be a place where they could gather without organization, although that had never stopped them from hosting a few late night Sabacc tournaments during the long voyages between deployments. Scanning the room, his eyes zeroed in on Jesse, chatting candidly with Hawk in the corner of the room. Fives didn't miss the way some of his brothers looked at him as he gingerly made his way over to them.

"Fives," Hawk greeted him first, and he gave a non-verbal nod of acknowledgement.

Jesse tilted his head "You alright adi'ka?" he asked in a slightly softer tone than Fives was used to hearing "You look like you've seen better days,"

Exhaling, Fives knew he had to keep his mouth shut about what had happened or else things would turn even more south. It's not that he didn't want to tell his brothers, he really did, he just had to make things right first with Adorsha - or at least get answers.

"I'm fine, Jess, I need to ask you for a favor though," He began cautiously "You have the next rotation on shift right? When the General is doing her routes, after I slip into the room, can you ensure that the door malfunctions on the Observation Deck?"

The lieutenant took a sharp breath as his brows furrowed, creasing his tattoo "This about what happened on Ren Vhar?"

Hawk laid his hand on Fives' shoulder, coming closer to mutter "You're not subtle, brother, we've all seen how both of you talk and look at each other," before taking a step back and dropping his hand to his side again.

Now it was Fives' turn to frown, the only time he had even seen Hawke on that mission had been when they were getting extracted out of the caves. There he had been more concentrated on making sure everyone was accounted for and got out safely. Fives wished he could tell his brothers the truth about what happened, and perhaps he would some day, right now though he had a new objective.

Hence, he asked again "Brother, can I count on you? I need to talk to her, in private, alone," Fives hoped he wouldn't ask anymore questions, as he didn't know if he even had a proper answer to them. Trying to navigate his own feelings right now felt more difficult than clearing out a minefield in mud. Fives didn't exactly like the look on Jesse's face, when he answered, but his answer was what he had wanted to hear.

"Sure, adi'ka, I can get you some alone time with General Renon-Tir," Jesse hesitated for a moment "On two conditions,"

"Two?" Fives questioned a little incredulously "Look I can't take your next rotation, Rex has me scheduled for-"

Jesse held up his palm to stop him "I'm not asking you to switch with me," he told him "First condition is you promise me you'll actually tell her how you feel rather than dancing around the subject, the second is fifteen credits for the trouble,"

Rolling his eyes, Fives reached back into his belt for his datapad. A few quick taps later and the transfer was done.

"There, now can I count on you?"

"You can count on me, brother,"

Fives sighed in relief.

"Thank you, I'd best get going," he reasoned that if he was going to do this, he needed to be free, or at least not needed elsewhere for a while "I'll signal you on the comms when I'm there,"

Jesse nodded, watching with Hawk as he left to attend to his duties for the day "Take care, adi'ka, take care…"

Shooting practice came easier than breathing to Fives, although what made him the most hungry before lunch was personal training. The ARC Troopers had a different routine to the regular infantryman, more intensive and longer lasting, as was required for their particular skill set. Today had actually been one of their shorter sessions, as they had just been working on their arms. Pre-workout supplements were still coursing through his system afterwards, and Fives hadn't exactly wanted his arms to look bigger than normal when he was trying to talk to Adorsha, however he supposed he would rather his arms be slightly larger than his legs being sore. The others could always tell when it was leg day, when everyone was eager to finish their duties early so they could go to bed early, or rest their legs. Fives had found oddly enough he enjoyed that day the most, and his hard work had paid off. It might have been a little vain of him to admit, but he was proud of his legs, and found it a little amusing when his brothers were all tired while he was ready to keep going on those days. He noticed Longshot and Kano walking a little stiffly before flopping down into their seats for a meeting, and a fair few of his other brothers doing the same as he made his way down the eastern passageway of the ship.

Adorsha normally made her rounds at fourteen hundred hours, and with everyone still busy attending their duties, it meant she would be alone unless needing to have Rex with her to consult. However Fives knew his Captain was busy with training today, thus they could talk alone, in private. He tapped out a message on his commlink and sent it to Jesse. It was time.

Opening the door to the room, he stood there for a moment, his breath catching in his throat. Adorsha was standing right in front of the large viewport that practically filled the whole room with stars. She was tapping at something on her datapad, stopping when he cleared his throat, the door sliding shut as he stepped inside the room.

Turning around on her heel, Adorsha's face paled "Fives,"

"General," He swallowed "We need to talk,"

They had avoided each other long enough, and he hoped that she would feel the same resolve that he did. After all, they couldn't just ignore each other forever.

Her voice turned cold, her eyes more rigid than the glaciers of the planet below "Fives we… it didn't mean anything," she bit out "What happened between us was just a spur of the moment - nothing more, we had both nearly just died,"

"I don't believe you," Fives took a step closer to her "I don't believe you and I don't think you believe in those words either," he took another step, coming into her space "You don't have to be a Jedi to know when someone is afraid, Adorsha," he had been less terrified staring down enemy tanks than he was now. The ARC Trooper didn't want to scare her off, but he had to be upfront with her too.

Through gritted teeth she hissed at him in a whisper "You're kriffing right I'm afraid, Fives! Do you not know just how dangerous what we did is? This- This stops right here, what we did is already enough for you to get reassigned or worse," he could hear the fear in her tone too, although what threw him for a loop wasn't just that she was afraid - she was afraid for the both of them. She still cared.

"This… This is wrong," Adorsha closed her eyes, hanging her head in shame "This is so wrong,"

"How?" Fives asked, tilting her chin up to look him in the eye "How is this so wrong that you feel like you can't even look at me? Is it because of the rules and regulations saying so?" he pressed "You think the rules and regs are right fully and wholly when they encourage you to treat us as expendable? As numbers?"

"You're not expendable-"

"I know that now," Fives admitted "Adorsha, when all Clones are born, we're taught that we're just numbers, that we were made to be expendable to prioritize the mission above all else," taking a deep breath, he illuminated another truth to her "You… you don't make me feel like a number," they'd had that talk before. The setting in which they had it was the fuel of many a fantasy and dream he'd had about her. She didn't make him feel like just another clone among the millions of his brothers, and Fives knew she didn't think of him that way either.

"You're not a number, Fives," The Jedi reaffirmed, she took one of his hands into her own and held it up for both of them to see. After a long moment, her gaze drifted back up to his own again "I'm sorry I called you by your number, I just… I can't allow myself to put you in danger, certainly not because of me,"

Large, warm arms encircled Adorsha in an embrace so protective it could have deflected mortar shell fire. Adorsha laid her head on the crook of his neck almost on instinct, Fives noticing the way her whole form just seemed to unwind. He was reminded of their first night together, the way she seemed to just fit perfectly cuddled up to him, alongside the sense of belonging like she was meant to be there.

Adorsha's breath tickled his neck as her voice quivered "They'll cast me out of the order if anyone finds out, but they'll…" she sobbed softly "They'll kill you,"

"That won't happen," Fives promised her "That won't happen because I won't let it happen,"

Sniffing, she peered up at him, and blushed as he used the pad of his thumb to wipe the tears from her eyes "I'm… confused too," she sounded like she was about to tell him a state secret with the strain backed up in her voice "The Jedi aren't supposed to form attachments, yet it feels like the force is purposely bringing us together,"

Now the ARC Trooper frowned "What do you mean?"

"Fives, when I was making my lightsaber, my new one, I saw a lot of things, heard a lot more, the last thing I heard was… well, I heard you," Now he understood her confusion, if the force was truly willing them to be together, that meant the Jedi's whole doctrine was now confusing to her. Just as he had been told he was a number, she had been told she couldn't form attachments, and just like him, now she needed to trust in her own emotions and feelings as well as the force. "I don't… I don't remember exactly what you said," she elaborated "But I heard you, and if this is what the force wants…"

In the dim starlight as she met his gaze, legions of stars turning the blue sea of her irises into galaxies of their own "Is this what you want, Adorsha?" Fives asked, forsake the force, he wouldn't go any further without her wanting this too.

She was silent for a moment, the only thing that could be heard in the room being the faint hum of the ship's engines and lights as they moved. Fives' heart palpated when she looked away, if she truly didn't want this, it would be hard for him to accept. However he would respect her decision, and wouldn't take this any further than she truly desired. Unhindered by outside influences such as the Jedi or the regs that he was bound to abide by too. He wasn't a droid, he was capable of free will, of thought, of choice - and he was choosing her.

Instead of answering, Adorsha decided to take his breath away, stealing it in a kiss. Her lips were more plush than he remembered, and she was in no rush to hurry this along. Fives couldn't resist her, kissing back with sweet fervor that threatened to make him melt. This time there was no pushing or shoving, the heat only a slow simmer that burned comfortably between them as together they ascended into bliss.

Parting left them both panting for more.

"Mesh'la," Fives whispered "Ner mesh'la Jetii,"

"What does that mean?" Adorsha asked "You've said that before,"

He smiled "It's mando'a, our true tongue," Fives confessed, referring to him and his brothers "It means- 'My beautiful Jedi',"

Fives took a bit of pride in being able to make Adorsha blush, although now, there was only one question on his mind "So… what happens now?"

"I don't know, I'm not really familiar with how these sorts of things go," Adorsha admitted "Whatever happens, happens I suppose, but for right now…" she trailed off, before pulling him down for another long, amorous kiss.

(A/N): Sorry for the shortness of this chapter, let me know what you thought in the reviews!