Summary: It's Steve's birthday and the team was celebrating it in Tony's ridiculous new beach house when those oh so familiar noises arise.
Timeline: A week following the ceremony…
Pepper walked out of the kitchen at Tony's beach house carrying a birthday cake and armed with presents.
"Wow," Clint said, eyeing the cake, "That looks good."
"Me or the cake, Legolas?" Tony teased giving him a wink, as he helped Pepper.
Clint snorted while helping Pepper set out the presents.
"Ah, Pepper, you outdid yourself with the cake." Tony complimented chuckling. "You should let me have a taste test, you never know, Capsicle might not like..."
Tony went to touch it only to be smacked on the hand by none other than Pepper.
"Hey!" She scolded. "This cake is Steve's not yours... say where is the birthday boy?"
The three did a one-eighty with their heads looking around the opened room but couldn't see any signs of Steve.
"He didn't bail, did he?" Tony asked. Because you know Steve doesn't like these kinds of things."
"No, he wouldn't do that." Pepper said a little disappointed, looking over at Tony, "Would he?"
"Wouldn't surprise me." Clint commented, "He said he didn't like being reminded that he was getting older."
"Of course, nobody likes being reminded that they are getting greyer, especially an old stud like Cap-
"Tony!" Pepper scolded him again.
They couldn't contain their laughter and started making fun of Tony. Of course, he just stood there with a humiliated grim look on his face.
"I think I might want to start drinking now," he said, walking away.
The others couldn't help but make jokes about Tony and his insufferable acts.
The three looked up when Bruce walked in from the direction of the downstairs bathroom, his eyes trained at the floor, his cheeks pink.
"What's the matter, zucchini?" Tony asked, seeing his co-mad scientist.
"Steve... Natasha." he started to mumble.
He then looked up and added, "So much noise."
Everybody's eyebrows raised up.
"Again?!" Pepper exclaimed.
"Here?!" Tony asked, looking like he's about to have a heart attack.
"Where?" Clint asked, completely ignoring Tony's rant.
"In that private hut, you have out on the beach," Bruce informed. "I think it's where you have that private hot tub."
The boys bolted for the direction of the beach, while Bruce and Pepper stood in place.
Tony turned around shooting Pepper a look, "Aren't you guys coming?"
Pepper shook her head while Bruce said, "I've heard enough of those mistaken noises for one lifetime."
The boys exchanged looks rushing over and dragged the two with them down the sandy beach.
"Hey!" Bruce whined. "I don't want to hear that ever again."
"Too bad," Tony said.
"Tough luck," Clint added. "We're all here, we all are masochists. We might as well hear what they've got to say this time."
"Real alpha males, you had to be?" Pepper pointed out, rolling her eyes.
Approaching the private hut that Tony had on the sandy beach, Tony quietly shushed them as they approached the wooden door.
Pepper rolled her eyes, Bruce tried to stay as quiet as possible.
The group was stunned into silence hearing the pair moaned in unimaginable pleasure, and Steve gasping out a chuckled groan.
"Ugh!" Steve moaned, "God that feels so good."
"I knew you'd like this!" Natasha's husky tone murmured.
Steve lightly laughed, "Has anyone told you that you have the hands of a Russian ballerina?"
"Not in the last few hours." Natasha teased.
"Go back to that last spot." Steve moaned out, "Right there, yeah that. Oh, God!"
Bruce looked beyond embarrassed while Tony looked at the door in surprise.
Pepper looked over at the others who each wore similar jaw drops.
"So, tell me?" Natasha said, "Is this your best birthday present or what?"
Steve laughed and said, "I think it just might be..."
The team leaned forward when they heard Steve laugh way too happy, which shocked the team.
"Stop that!" Steve complained, "Come on. Please."
Natasha chuckled and said, "All right, all right. Ok. I'll behave."
Steve sighed and said, "Ahh..."
"Like that?" Natasha whispered lightly.
"Do that again." Steve said, "That feels like heaven."
Steve let out a moan of pleasure, as Natasha sighed.
Pepper looked back from the door to her friends and raised an eyebrow.
Hill looked over at Pepper and shook her head mouthing, 'Wait a minute.'
Pepper gave her a look that said, "Are you are freaking kidding me?"
"Oh!" Steve moaned out, "My God."
Bruce looked like he was going to open his mouth, but Hill covered his mouth with her hands.
Both Tony and Clint looked from Hill's actions to the look of desperation on Bruce's face and Clint covered the Hulk's ears.
"Doesn't that feel so good?" Natasha whispered.
"Mmhmm." Steve said, "Go down a little lower, deeper. Please."
"And a little harder?" Natasha teased.
Steve chuckled at that, "If you wish to."
"This is your birthday," Natasha said.
Tony looked shocked while Pepper's jaw dropped again, and Hill in shock removed her hands from Bruce's mouth.
"A little harder." Steve hummed in content, "To the left. Oh, oh yeah. Right there. God! Don't move."
"Mm-hmm!" Natasha said exhaling a breath.
Steve moaned while the team heard Natasha hum in content.
As the moan got louder, the team shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably wondering if this was another misunderstanding.
"Feeling better?" Natasha asked.
"Oh yeah!" Steve moaned out, "This I could get used to."
"You wish!" the spy chuckled.
"I may have to ask Fury to put this in as a requisition in your Shield contract," Steve said.
Natasha laughed while Steve said, "Keep on doing that. Please."
"All right, one more time than we're going to have to get back to the party." Natasha's tone said with enjoyment.
Steve groaned, "Ah hell, do we have to? I could spend the rest of my life like this."
Natasha chuckled while Steve groaned.
Pepper couldn't take it anymore and banged on the door breaking up the two in whatever activity they were engaged in.
Hill looked over at Pepper and glared at her, she may have not wanted to hear the two, but she didn't want to interrupt them.
"Yeah?" Steve called through the closed door.
"Yeah, look..." Pepper started, inhaling and exhaling, "Whatever you two are doing in there, the cakes out here. We're ready to celebrate your birthday."
"Looks like they already started celebrating," Tony muttered.
"I heard that!" Natasha said opening the door, "And just for the record we know what you all think we're doing in here."
"Giving Captain America his present that we're not meant to see." Hill teased, smirking at the two.
Steve and Natasha gave them all dirty looks as Bruce started stuttering while looking at the ground.
Natasha looked over at Steve and sighed, "They have sex on their brain, twenty-four-seven when it involves us."
"Mm-hmm." Steve said, "Look we were not having sex."
"Right." Clint said quietly but disbelieving, backing away from the door, "Whatever you say."
Opening the door, they revealed inside Tony's hut. Inside the hut, there was a big squared hot tub, where there was a messy scene of white bloody bandages on the ground.
"What happened?!" Pepper exclaimed, rushing inside, and causing Tony to blink in surprise.
"Hey, you used all of my essential oils and my favorite bottle of lotion that I just brought from Paris." Tony started to whine.
"Tony." Pepper called him, "You have like a thousand of those you don't even use them all."
"So..." Hill said slowly, "You were just rubbing Captain America some of Tony's expensive lotion on him?"
"All over his leg." Natasha replied as nothing has happened, "He decided to try one of the things on his list he has never tried in this century he didn't do during his time."
"And what was on your list that you wanted to try at your age?" Hill asked curiously, "Not that you're old or anything. I'll stop talking now."
She suddenly got a little red and bothered from simply talking.
"Agh! " Steve sighed, waving her off. "One of the things that I never tried before, when me Bucky were kids was surfing, so I thought I give it a try."
"And I tried to teach to him, but he started to be such a girl about it and went overboard," Natasha explained, rolling her eyes at him.
"Hey!" Steve yelled. "How was I supposed to know that there was a giant rock right there, and I would end up crashing right into it and thrown into the water."
Natasha rolled her eyes again at the whining soldier, "Shut up!" she ordered him. "You just can't seem to follow directions."
"What's that about Capsicle, I thought you were a fearless soldier." Tony taunted.
"Watch it, Tony!" Steve warned.
"So, if he just went overboard and crashed into a rock, what's with the bloody bandages?" Bruce asked.
Steve inclined his head down in embarrassment, while Natasha continues to roll her eyes at him.
Steve lifted his dripping leg and showed off the bloody part of the leg.
"Huh!" Pepper gasped. "Steve!"
"What happened to you?" Hill asked.
"Igotstungbyanoctupus." He mumbled something fast.
"What?!" They all shouted, not understanding what he said.
"He got stung by an Octopus, which is why there's blood on his leg," Natasha explained faster than a lighting bulb.
"God!" Steve huffed. "This is embarrassing."
"What, you don't want anyone knowing that the brave Captain America was stung by an octopus?" Clint joked.
Natasha went to hit Clint right in the arm. "Ow!" he cried. "Tasha, that seriously hurt." He rubbed his arm.
"Clint, just shut up if you don't want another one." She warned.
"So, wait." Hill grabbed all their attention. "All you were doing was getting Steve's medical attention?"
Natasha just shrugged, without much façade showing. "Well, yeah." She replied like it was the most obvious thing.
"Guys," Steve added. "Please, we are not some of those young teenagers around here, who make out all the time."
"Oh right, I forgot you were born during the time sex wasn't invented yet." Tony joked.
"Tony, if it were up to you, you would practically claim that you invented sex," Hill smirked.
"Hum!" Tony gasped. "Maybe I should start claiming I did."
"Tony!" Pepper warned. "Stop it!"
"You know what, it's my birthday and I don't want to keep sitting here and talking about this, my leg still hurts," Steve said, getting on his feet.
"I agree with cap, here, and plus am hungry, I still want some cake," Clint whined, starting to walk out.
"Yeah, me too, I'm ready to start drinking," Hill added.
"Amen." Pepper agreed, following Clint, and Hill out.
"Hey Tony, I promise that I would buy you a new lotion next time, okay," Steve told him.
"Thank god!" Tony sigh of relief, "Because I need my lotions to keep me young." He said casually.
Pepper and the rest of the group rolled their eyes at him.
"Don't be such a girl Tony!" they heard Clint shout.
"So, this makes number seven that we keep mistaking the noises for sex." They heard Pepper say as she walked out with Tony.
"Mm-hmm." Tony agreed, sighing, walking away semi-relieved.
They all walked back inside the beach house, followed by the non-sexed pair.
Natasha looked over at Steve and whispered, "Happy Birthday my soldier."
"It will be when we get out of here and go home." He whispered back.
"Hurry up you two!" Tony shouted, "Or I'll eat this cake without you."
A loud smack could be heard followed by Tony crying, "Ow!"
"I told you, hands-off," Pepper yelled, hearing the laughter of the rest of the Avengers.
"Only three more hours," Steve whispered, looking down at his watch.
The two walked down the hall to hear the off-key singing of their fellow