in another time
.
"Why didn't you fight for us back then?" she asks suddenly, quietly, sidling closer to him on the bench in search for warmth.
"What us, Donna?" he replies, a hit of bitterness in his tone.
"Can we not pretend… for once," she pleads. "You know we had this thing between us for years. Why did you never…?"
"You know I could ask you the same question."
"Yeah," she breathes, blinking rapidly. "Well, that's neither here nor there. I want to know why you never fought for us. You watched me get married for god's sake."
"You were happy!"
She chuckles. "But you never really bothered to ask, did you?"
"Donna." His voice is low and careful. She damns the effect her name on his lips still has on her after all these years. "I could lie to you but after all these years..." Harvey closes his eyes as if to conceal the emotions she would undoubtedly find in the depth of his gaze. "I didn't think I was good enough. You deserved better." He sighs. "I was doing it for you. I genuinely thought I was putting your needs first. And now…" He covers her cold hands with his, gently pushing a strand of red hair, that has streaks of silver in it by now, behind her ear. "I'm sorry I never believed in us."
"Harvey, there was no one better for me than you. I was just waiting for you to–," She swallows, regret hitting her hard. Decades ago she'd told Harvey she had to live her life and that's what she did. Got married. Moved across the country. But now, after her husband's death she's back in NYC, looking for answers to questions she'd been too afraid of asking back then.
"We weren't ready back then." He turns to look at her, a thought visibly crossing his mind. "Maybe we are now?"
"What are you saying?"
"Give me a chance. Don't go back to Seattle. Let life work out the way it's supposed to. Let us work out the way we were supposed to. What do you say?"
Her heart skips a beat; remembering all the moments she'd wanted him to say those words. Dismiss her concerns as silly and ask her to be with him instead.
Suddenly she's back in that diner again; and years later, shouting at him to stop fighting for things that only matter at the office; asking him how he loves her; telling him she wants more; lying when she said she didn't feel anything when she kissed him.
She nods, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes again, and she smiles, finding his brown orbs. They haven't changed one bit and even though so much time has passed, even though they lost touch for so many years, she still feels that same connection to him that she did then.
"I say yes, Harvey, yes."