It came on suddenly.
Like being struck by lightning.
I walked across the shrine and then suddenly my knees gave way. Kenshin was there in an instant to catch me.
He carried me to the couch.
"No!" I cried, shaking my head. "I just got better! I can't...take this anymore! You won't want me! You won't love a cripple!"
Kenshin took my face in his hands. "Stop those words right now."
"I won't!" I shook my head again. "You...you are burdened! You...someone wonderful like you needs a woman who is whole and beautiful. Go. Leave. I free you from myself."
Kenshin's hands fell away. It was quiet for a long moment. When he spoke his voice was flat and dead.
"This one is not alive without you."
"But—"
A finger to my lips.
"This one killed with these hands." Kenshin said. "This one is a killer. That cannot be changed. No matter how much this one atones. There is nothing in this world that this one could do to ever deserve you, that there is not."
"But I'm telling you!" I burst out. "No one deserves this burden!"
He looked up at me, eyes swimming in tears. "More than the burden of being with this one? This Battousai?"
There was no arguing with him. To him, our burdens were the same.
"Please, Kuri-dono." Kenshin said. "Allow these stained hands to aid you in healing. Allow this one to trouble you. To love you. Without you, this one is nothing."
I kissed him.
There were no words.