Light Fills the Vessel

by The Noble Rot

As the relationship between Stephen Strange and his wife Clea breaks down, he finds solace in the most unlikely of places. The head servant of the Sanctum, who has knelt at his feet since she was a child, is no longer a child. She has kept his secrets, accepted his flaws, tended his wounds, calmed his wife, drawn his baths, made his bed...but he has never truly seen her. Until now.

15. Clea's Return

Chapter 15: Clea's Return

A little while before dawn, he gently wakes me to give me a kiss goodbye.

"I don't think your family would appreciate finding me in your bedroom."

"Still, I hate that you have to go. This was our last night together for who knows how long? Your wife returns today at some point."

His lips are gentle on my forehead, and he smooths my messy hair. Then he embraces me tightly, sighing.

"I know. It hurts me too. I want nothing more than to spend every night with you. But this has to be done right to avoid her wrath. Neither one of us needs to spend the rest of our lives looking over our shoulders. I have enough enemies as it is."

Suddenly miserable, I hug him as tightly as I can. Staving off the inevitable for a few more minutes. Then I let go. He strokes the side of my face and looks into my eyes.

"So much has happened these past few days. So much has changed between us. It's going to be hard to pretend that none of that occurred. We've become very intimate, Holly."

A little redness colors my cheeks, and I lower my eyes.

"I'm honored that you feel close to me, sir. I love you with all my heart. There will be moments though, won't there? Stolen moments once in a while? A kiss. A gentle touch. A hug. I will still serve you to the best of my ability at all times. Being alone was never a problem before."

"It might be now. She'll sense a new tension in the air, though she may not know what it is exactly. Clea is very intelligent, and she is already suspicious of my every move."

I glance at the door, keeping an ear out for pattering feet in the hall or the slow heavy tread of my father. But all is still save for the clink of pots and pans in the kitchen downstairs. Uncle Lester is up and making breakfast. I should help him. But this is important too.

"Master, she's been gone three nights. Do you think she's been with someone else too?"

He says nothing for a few moments, but he nods. Looking down at our clasped hands. And when he speaks his voice is sad. Soft.

"We don't need to talk about that. I'd best get back to the guest room, Pet. See you at breakfast?"

"Of course. I need to get dressed and head down there now, actually. I used to help Uncle Lester prepare every meal when I lived here. It's nice to be able to do it again and show off all the things I've learned since then."

Master Strange lifts my hand to his lips and kisses the back of it, then gets out of bed and reaches for his pajama top. He picks up his Sling Ring from the nightstand and slips it on. When the fiery circle appears, he hesitates, looking back at me.

"I love you."

"I love you too, sir."

Then he is gone. It's hard to describe how I'm feeling as I climb out of bed myself and open my overnight bag to find a clean dress and stockings. My work dress of course, since we'll be headed back to the Sanctum after the morning meal. Last night at dinner, Master Strange had told the family that he would portal me back here as my schedule allowed once every few months or so. The family were overjoyed to hear this, especially my parents. It removed the pain of how short this visit was to be, knowing that they would see me again soon.

I carry my clothing with me into the bathroom and take a quick shower, then towel off and braid my hair before getting dressed. When I enter the kitchen, the familiar sight of my uncle bustling about to create his customary morning feast fills me with delight.

"What can I do?"

Uncle Lester turns away from the stove where he's turning plump sausages in a pan and embraces me, pulling me in close. I cling to him.

"I reckon you can start by tellin' me what your boss was doin' in your room all night. Annie snuck on down to his room round about midnight to try her luck with him, found the bedroom empty. Don't take a genius to put two an' two together."

"Oh my God. Annie hasn't changed, has she."

"Only gotten worse, honey, truth be told. She couldn't wait to tell me this mornin'. But you know Annie. She'll keep quiet about it with everyone else. She's a bitch, not a snitch. I'm just worried for you. That fella…he's a grown ass man with a hell of a career behind an' ahead of him. Baby girl, I love you. Goddammit, I have always loved you. Are you bein' used? I know what you are like. I know who you are. Honey, your innocence an' tender nature are catnip to powerful men. Took all I had to keep your Uncle Darwin off ya."

"I…I know. I swear, Uncle Lester, Master Strange has never been anything but honorable with me."

Uncle Lester releases me, and presses the tongs into my hand. I turn to the sausages while he takes up the whisk to beat eggs into a fluffy froth.

"Baby girl, Imma be honest with you. I like him. Your Stephen, he has an honesty about him that I respect. Heard great things about him. Ya know I was one o' the Snapped."

It's a delicate subject. Those who disappeared for a few years versus those who did not. I don't look up.

"I know."

"Just like you."

"Yes. I disappeared too. The only ones who stayed were Master Wong, and Pasang and Amara. Everyone else vanished."

Uncle Lester is quiet for a little while, stirring the eggs.

"Your Stephen, he was integral in bringin' us back."

"Yes. He was vital. The most important, I feel. Although the world only really recognizes the sacrifice of Tony Stark. Don't get me wrong, he was imperative as well. But it was my Master who summoned the armies of the Vanished and the sorcerers of Kamar Taj and turned the tide of the war. He is as much a hero as Mr. Stark was. But no one acknowledges it."

"Ya knew him? Tony Stark?"

"Yes. We've met. I was in the great hall the day my Master brought him to the Sanctum. I was there when Master Strange and Master Wong and Mr. Stark and Mr. Banner ran out into the street to face the alien foe that threatened us. I slipped out too, I wanted to help. I witnessed the pitched battle that ensued, and I could not help. The last I saw of my Master for five years was his inert body falling to the ground, and an ugly alien telling him that he would wish he was dead. Then they were gone. Master Wong dragged me back to the Sanctum. Then, when the Vanishing happened, I disintegrated in Wong's arms."

"I was still here just long enough to see a cow disappear right in front o' me. Then I was gone too. But a couple folks remained here. Your momma, and Red and Darwin and Maria."

I stop dead, turning to face my uncle. My eyes focus on his face, and for a full minute we are quiet. Then I nod. Nothing but that. Just a nod. We don't need words.

We turn back to our tasks.

"After the battle, Master Strange appeared in the Sanctum. He was bleeding, hurt, and in mourning. Mr. Stark had sacrificed himself to save us all. Master Wong was with him, holding him. The other servants had reappeared hours earlier, we knew what might happen. We embraced one another and we cried together. I put them to work immediately. We were alight with anticipation. No one dared even give voice to the hope. But then, near nightfall, Master Wong appeared. And in his arms, grievously wounded but alive, was Master Strange. He was taken to his room, and I went to him. And then it was just the two of us. I wept. I undressed him. I bathed his wounds. I washed his hair. I dressed him in his pajamas. I helped him stumble to bed. And then….then he was weeping. I stopped at the door and turned back. I went to him and knelt by his bed and held his hand in mine and said nothing as he told me of everything that had transpired. Despite their rocky beginning, Master Strange respected and even liked Tony Stark. He was genuinely crushed by his death. Because he saw it coming and could do nothing to stop it. Not if we wanted to win the day."

"That the day y'all fell in love?"

"No. I loved him long before that. Uncle Lester, I loved him from the moment I met him, two years after you sent me to Kamar Taj."

"I never wanted to send you there at all. Woulda kept you here if I'd had my wish."

"I…I know. But I needed to go. And I'm glad I did. There was so much I needed to learn, so much I needed to experience. I don't lament being sent to Kathmandu. It was the best day of my life, although I didn't know it at the time."

Uncle Lester sighs, and when he speaks again his voice is soft.

"How far have you gone?"

I have never lied to this man whom I love as much as I love myself. My voice is equally as soft.

"We've kissed, and we've been naked together, and we've….been intimate without making love. I know what a climax is now. He taught me. And I know how to bring him to one as well."

"Ah God. My baby bear…. Oh Christ. There's so much I never told you."

"I'm learning it, by and by. My Master is teaching me."

"Fuckin' hell."

"Uncle Lester, I love him. I'm going to give him my virginity. This is my choice, not the Family's. Did you really expect me to submit to the accepted method of losing one's virginity? How did Annie lose hers? Does that sit well with you?"

"Goddammit, I woulda shielded you from that."

"COULD you? You couldn't even shield me from being sent overseas at the age of ten. The word of the Alpha is law here."

"Holly…."

"I'm happy, Uncle Lester. Do you understand? I'm HAPPY. This world? It was never for me. I couldn't have handled it. I…I'm not you."

"I wish to God I'd come after you, Holly honey. I hope ya didn't suffer at all when you got sent away."

He's turned away from the bowl of eggs, leaving them for the moment. And he reaches out and grabs my wrist to tug me against him. I fumble with the knob of the burner to turn off the stove and keep the sausages from burning. He holds me close, just stroking my hair. Emotion keeping him from being able to say anything.

I whisper against his neck, holding onto him just as tightly.

"I'm glad you didn't. I needed this, Uncle Lester. You know I love you. You were who I wanted to be when I was a child. I will always love you. But I needed my own life."

"I know ya did." He rubs my back, then leans me away from him and looks down at me. "Cannot believe how beautiful you are, how much you've grown. An' how much strength an' intelligence you display now. The shy, reserved little thing I once knew ain't here anymore, is she."

"I'm still reserved, but I'm not shy. Uncle Lester, I'm fine. My life is complex, but beautiful. You don't need to worry about me anymore."

"You know it ain't that easy. I will always worry about ya." He holds me tight for another few moments, then lets me go, wiping his eyes. "C'mon, this breakfast ain't gonna make itself. Your boss awake?"

"Yes. He returned to the guest room just a little while ago. Nothing happened. I showed him my dollhouse and book collection, some of my stuffed animals. He was curious about my history. But he'll be down and dressed in a little while, I would imagine. We need to get back to the Sanctum soon."

I begin to tend the sausages again, clicking the burner on. Uncle Lester nods, but he doesn't say anything. As it turns out, we ended the conversation at just the right time. My mother comes pelting into the kitchen thirty seconds later, her face aglow with early morning happiness, already in her play dress. I hug her warmly and pluck a sausage from the pan to blow on it before handing it to her.

And then the family begins to trickle in. Some of them still in their pajamas and looking rumpled. Others fully dressed and ready for the day. Uncle Darwin and his daughter are nearly the last to appear, talking together in low voices, laughing about something. Annie smirks at me, but she doesn't make a crack about my nocturnal activities. Instead, she fluffs her wild red curls and turns toward the door just as my Master appears in it.

He looks down at her, and she reaches up and playfully strokes his chest. Her tank top is cut low enough to be scandalous, and if her shorts were any smaller they'd qualify as bikini bottoms. What can I do but sigh? She really has gotten worse. I wonder if Uncle Lester is going to have her spayed anytime soon.

"Hope you slept well, Stephen."

"I slept quite well, Miss Tremor. Thank you. The hospitality of the family is superb."

"Oh we can be very hospitable when the mood takes us. You should definitely visit again soon. If Holly's too busy with her work, just come alone."

Master Strange smiles politely, but the expression doesn't reach his eyes. My heart warms.

"A generous offer, Miss Tremor. I'm touched."

"You could be."

"Goddammit, Annie! Lay off our guest! Sweet Mother Mary on a rockin' horse, but you are a test o' my patience. Sit your fanny on down, Imma serve breakfast in a minute here. Stephen, don't you pay her no mind. She's at that difficult age between birth an' forty. Like a cup o' coffee?" Uncle Lester points a wooden spoon threateningly at his niece. She only laughs and sticks her tongue out at him before going to her seat.

"Tea would be preferable, if you have it." Master Strange pats my mother's hair when she flings her arms around his waist to hug him too. It's loving chaos in the kitchen until the bulk of the gathering is seated around the big wooden table. I touch his shoulder lightly while the rest of the family is distracted with their conversations, lowering my voice.

"Annie went to your room last night."

"Quite the bullet I dodged then. She's positively a maneater."

I bite my lip to keep from smiling too much at the comment. Then I am rushing to help Uncle Lester slide platters of pancakes from the warm oven and finish cooking the sausages and eggs. By the time everything is on the table and the last juice glass has been filled, ten minutes have passed. I sink into my chair beside my Master, noting that he waited to touch his food until I could join him. This small, loving gesture makes me feel cherished. Even though the room is crowded with people, for a little while it feels like we're alone together. I resist the urge to cut up his pancakes for him.

"How do you think Mistress Clea would feel about my family, sir?" I ask him quietly, teasing.

"We ought to invite her along next time. I'm certain she would find your Uncle Lester's patois very compelling."

"Motherf… GLORY! Get off the table an' sit in your chair! You need the goddamn syrup, ask for someone to pass it! Ya don't crawl up there after it! Saint John's head in a pillowcase, you test my patience."

I can't hold it back, and neither can Master Strange. We both burst out laughing, joining the family in their mirth. My mother, hardly chastened, grabs the syrup and scoots back to her chair, dousing her plate in maple sweetness. In this moment, I am so filled with love that I am surprised I'm not glowing.

It is two hours later, and we are standing in the front yard with most of the family. Aunt Maria embraces Master Strange, kissing his cheek.

"Be good to her."

"I will, Maria. I promise. You have the number to the Sanctum. Should you wish to visit, just call. I'll come for you myself."

My father holds out his hand to shake Master Strange's, and I wince when he squeezes tightly as a warning. I know how much that must hurt, with the nerve damage and the steel pins in his hands. But he doesn't flinch. Pain is an old friend. His pale eyes meet my father's brilliant blue ones.

Dad leans down.

"You hurt ma' baby, Imma kill you."

"I would expect nothing less, Mr. Tremor. She will be safe with me."

My father nods, looking mollified. Mom is next, and she flings herself into his arms and hugs him tightly.

"Ok I will come see you soon! Thank you for taking care of my baby. Hug Bats for me if you can touch him. I never met a ghost dog before."

Master Strange actually lifts her up as though she were Amara, and indeed there are numerous similarities between the two.

"Come and see for yourself, Glory. There are wonders beyond measure for your eyes to behold."

"You can call me a nickname if you want. Darwin calls me Squirt and Jeeves calls me Honey Girl and Lester calls me Tidbit. And I was once someone's Gizmo, but he went away and didn't come back. I can be any nickname you want."

He sets her gently down and touches her cheek.

"I call your daughter Little Mouse. You are something fierce and sweet at the same time. I'll call you Lioness. Does that suffice?"

"Can I call you Wizard?"

"If you wish."

Mom kisses his cheek, and it is the gentlest I have ever seen her. Her large brown eyes are warm.

"My baby loves you. So I love you too. I'll be your Lioness. And you're my Wizard. Safe travels back to your city. I love you. Take care. Here is a bracelet that I made from grasses."

And she slips it over his wrist before he can protest. Master Strange touches the odd adornment as though it were a ten thousand dollar watch.

"Thank you, Lioness. I'll wear it with honor."

One by one, the family bids him farewell, and then they embrace me and kiss my cheeks.

Uncle Darwin shakes his hand, simply nodding, then turns and presses his lips to my forehead. Last of all is Uncle Lester, who folds me into his arms first and rubs my back.

"Love you, Baby Bear. You call me weekly, alright?"

"I will, I promise. Take care of the family."

"Always have. Holly, you let me know if ya get in over your head. Imma come bail you out, bring you home to where life is simple. Mind your boss, do what he tells ya."

"I will, Uncle Lester. I love you."

He gives me one more hug, then lets me go. Uncle Darwin puts his hands on my shoulders, looking at me intently.

"Makin' us all real proud, Holly."

"Thank you, sir."

"Be a good girl now."

"I will. I promise. And I'll call home often, and write."

He hugs me roughly. The family gathers around, everyone putting their hands on me, and it is like a benediction of sorts. I close my eyes. Had I stayed here, I don't know what my life would look like now. As I turn to hug Annie, she whispers in my ear.

"There's nothing sexier to a man than innocence. But if you have any questions, call me."

"I will." I kiss her cheek, remembering all the adventures we used to have when we were both children and the world was still new. The fun and joy I felt here, the love.

We separate, and Master Strange casts a portal to the foyer of the Sanctum. My family all gasp or exclaim at the sudden burst of light and the glimpse of another place entirely on the other side. My father picks me up and cuddles me, kissing my forehead and cheeks, then sets me down and puts my hand into my Master's.

"I love you, Baby Bear."

"I love you too, Dad. Always."

And then we are stepping through the portal together, my Master holding my hand gently. I rub his wrist with my thumb as the gateway closes behind us, and the familiar scent of my home is replaced by the incense and candlewax and parchment of the Sanctum Sanctorum. We are alone in the foyer. He does not release my hand yet.

"I enjoyed that, Holly. Thank you for introducing me to your family."

"Are you just being polite, sir? I know they're…unusual."

"As am I. But you seem to enjoy my company anyway."

I reach up to touch his cheek after a furtive glance around to make sure that no eye marks our presence.

"I enjoy your company more than anyone else's, Master. The past two days and this morning have been nothing short of miraculous. I never expected to become this close to you."

"Come with me to the study, Holly. Clea will be back in a few hours. I want to properly enjoy you until then."

"Yes." I whisper, and follow him obediently. It is lunchtime here in New York, but neither of us are hungry. Not for food.

Fifteen minutes later we are lying on the low velvet bench under the bay window in his favorite corner of the study. Just kissing and touching one another through our clothing like a pair of infatuated and eager teenagers. I am out of breath, his hair is tousled, we are both in disarray and gloriously drunk on the taste and feel of one another. I am lying beneath him, and our arms are around one another.

"She could….be home at…. any time…." I manage to say between kisses.

"We will no doubt be made aware the moment she arrives. Relax."

I do, submitting to the slow, dreamlike kisses that seem to last an hour each. I could do this forever. He is perfect. Everything that I have ever fantasized about and longed for has come true these past few days. I am addicted to this man. Each moment in his service plays itself out behind my closed eyes as he passionately kisses me, making the erotic forbidden desire that much more poignant. Eventually the kissing and touching on the bench moves to the floor, the soft carpet pleasant beneath me. I lie under him, my wrists pinned by his hands, softly sighing with pleasure as he nibbles my earlobe.

There is the sound of a door opening, but he does not draw away from me. Instead, he simply lifts his head and brings one hand up, its palm glowing. He's not ashamed of this. He's not hiding us. He's ready to defend what we are to one another.

I squeeze my eyes shut, fear clenching in my heart. But it is Wong's voice that I hear next.

"Great Buddha, you got balls. Better get off Holly and make yourself look innocent. Your wife, she just came back. Ming has her in the dining room entertaining her with food and drink. She's a little banged up, looks like she found the fight she was looking for. Don't worry, she's ok. Just bruised and bloody. Asking for you. I tell her; you studying. She rolled her eyes, told Ming to bring the vodka. Gonna get drunk I bet. Holly, you come too. She needs some healing."

Master Strange is off me and on his feet in seconds. So fast that I find myself fumbling to follow suit.

"She's hurt?"

"Yeah, but not bad. Just some cuts. Bruises."

"Holly, fetch the medical kit and meet us in the bedroom."

"Yes Master."

And just like that, things snap back to normal. I am the servant. He is the Master. Mistress Clea is home, and in need of care. My duty is to care for her. And after she is seen to, he will hold her in the bed in which I watched him make love to Lisa and in which I pleasured him. The bed in which I slept in his arms.

I smooth my dress down, lower my head, and follow Wong to the medical closet to gather the necessary items.

When we are alone, he says nothing. But his calloused hand finds mine and holds it, giving me a squeeze. I gather the gauze, the arnica cream, the butterfly bandages, the hydrogen peroxide, the antibacterial cream, the suture kit.. Wong is quiet until I have everything. Master Strange left immediately from the library, rushing to see his wife. My heart feels sad. I am breathing normally.

In the hall, I pause and look up at Master Wong.

"I'm to be his lover."

"Yeah. I know."

"This is just… this is just for now."

"I know, Holly."

"He loves me."

"You need a hug?"

"Yes please."

Wong embraces me, rubbing my back and holding me close against his broad chest. I say nothing for a bit, just clinging to him with one arm. The other hand holding tight to the medical supplies with which I will tend Mistress Clea. I cry a little then, but Wong keeps his arms around me, and gradually I calm down. I lift my face to him, and he wipes away my tears with his hands.

"Pull it together. You gonna be ok?"

"Yes. Yes, Master Wong. I'll be alright."

"You need some gin before you go up there?"

"I should be alright. Thank you. I'll come find you after."

He seems satisfied that I'm ok, and with a last hug he leaves me there in the hallway. I stand still for a few minutes, simply breathing, and then turn and walk to the bedroom.

They are not inside yet, the door slightly ajar, so I enter and begin to set about making it more comfortable for Clea when Master Strange brings her up from the dining hall. There's a new purple coverlet on the vast bed. The other servants must have followed my instructions while I was away. I light vanilla scented candles and set a match to the kindling in the hearth. Bring a basin over to the bedside table and lay out the medical supplies. Gauze bandages, tape, needle and thread, sterile pads, antibiotics, painkillers. I have no idea how badly injured she is, so I don't precisely know how to prepare. I have helped her before, of course. I've tended both their wounds after dangerous excursions into other dimensions, bringing a gentle touch and soft words to them here in their bed for days, until they healed enough to leave it. I will do this again tonight for Clea, and I will not complain.

Even though I am in love with her husband, and I have slept in his arms for three nights and tasted intimacy with him and experienced ecstasy with him and shared deep and emotional conversations with him. I will tend to her even though I know he is letting the marriage die and not fighting anymore to keep her. I will tend to Mistress Clea, and I will not be bitter or cruel. I will not be bitter. I will not be….

I cover my face with both hands, trying to breathe. This is hell. This is a pure, stinging hell that encompasses my entire body and soul. I know I need to force myself to calm down and be strong, but this is so damn hard.

There's the sound of voices in the hall, and then the door is opened. I drop my hands at once, turning toward the entrance to see Master Strange carrying his wife in his arms. She still holds a bottle of vodka in one blood-caked hand, and she's giggling. She is also covered with injuries. Scratches that look like claw marks, bruises, and her ankle is twisted at the wrong angle. I come forward immediately as my Master lays her down on the bed. His expression is grave.

"I really wish you'd hand over the bottle, Clea. You've had more than enough for one day."

"And I wish you'd lighten up for once! I lived, didn't I? And I brought down a tarrasque single handedly! Some celebration is in order." She laughs, tilting the bottle to her lips again. She is flawless even in her current state of damage and disarray. I come to her side, helping Master Strange as he eases her tight purple and black bodysuit down over her shoulders to her waist. We strip it off together, revealing even more injuries. An actual claw is stuck in her side. I kneel by the bed with the forceps, focusing on the wound. Not meeting his eyes. If he's even looking at me. His complete attention seems riveted on Clea.

Gently, I ease the claw from the wound and irrigate it with saline solution to remove any other debris. She takes the pain well, looking up at her husband leaning over her, kneeling on the bed, his hand on her cheek. She reaches up to touch him as well.

"How handsome you look when you're worried, Stephen. Perhaps next time I'll let you come with me and we can do battle together. Like we used to. Remember, darling? Fighting until we could barely lift a weapon. Collapsing against one another on a battlefield devoid of life, sticky with blood and our senses on fire with adrenaline."

"Your clothing torn, your hair a glorious mess, grinning and victorious. I was so proud of you."

"I'm covered in blood now, darling. Torn clothing and messy hair, grinning."

"Drunk." He laughs softly, and she laughs with him and finally releases the bottle into his hands. Absently, he passes it to me and I set it down on the floor. My chest feels tight. I keep my eyes on my work as I begin to stitch up her side, keeping the needlework neat and small to avoid leaving an ugly scar.

Clea doesn't wince. She holds still as I work, hardly glancing at me. She is completely focused on my Master, and he is focused on her. I am invisible. That deep part of me that is taking damage from this display of affection is trying desperately to shut down. Shut this out. All of it. It's happening right in front of me. But this is my job. Caring for both of them is my job. I have to keep repeating this in my mind in order to be an effective healer.

"I'm not that drunk, darling. And I'm not that badly injured, either. Send your little servant away. I want you to make love to me, Stephen. Has the great and noble Sorcerer Supreme missed his wife?"

That comment actually causes his eyes to shift to me, and he straightens. Terrible indecision and even pain cross his features briefly, but he maintains control of himself. I meet his gaze, then nod once. It is the most agonizing thing I have ever done. He looks toward the window, out to the balcony where we danced together beneath enchanted vines just the other night. My heart is breaking for him, and for me. For this whole terrible situation. I rise to my feet, dipping the cloth into the warm water.

"Please let me at least clean you, Mistress. You've been through a great deal, and your injuries could fester if they're not tended to. Master Strange, forgive me but could you give us a bit of privacy while I care for your wife?"

"Yes of course. I should tend to a few matters in order to free up the rest of the day. I'll be back in an hour or so."

He is grateful to leave behind the tension in the room, I can tell. Without a backward glance, Master Strange moves to the door and opens it, slipping out into the hall and shutting it behind him.

Clea turns to look at me, watching me in silence with her large violet eyes. My head is bowed as I focus on the last few stitches, sewing her perfect milky white skin back together. When this is done, I begin gently sponging the dried blood from her body. I am careful not to put any pressure on the half-formed bruises. We say nothing to one another as I wash her, removing the rest of her clothing to thoroughly bathe her as best I can.

There is a bruise on her neck that draws my attention. It isn't like the others. No…this particular breaking of blood vessels happened as a result of passion, not battle. I bathe it as well, and then fetch and apply a bit of her makeup over it to cover the evidence of her activities.

"Well?"

My eyes lift to her face, blinking.

"Well what, Mistress?"

She smiles, and it is an unpleasant smile. A knowing smile.

"I'm not a fool, little girl. Do you know, he took my virginity as well? He was so gentle that I barely remember the pain. Only the pleasure. Did you bleed very much?"

"I am still a virgin, Mistress Clea. Your husband is my employer, not my lover."

"For now. He'll get to it, I'd imagine. When the mood takes him. You're of age, after all."

"Our relationship…isn't like that. He is married to you. I won't lose my virginity to a married man."

"But you want him. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't want him."

"Mistress, you're injured. This isn't the time for conversation. Will you turn your head slightly? I need to finish covering the mark on your neck before your husband sees it."

She narrows her eyes, but she does as I've requested. I feel anger in my chest, surveying this proof of her transgressions. Both of them were unfaithful during her time away. So why does it only bother me that she was? I dab on a little more makeup, then some setting spray. Blowing on the place to dry it.

"Why do you cheat on him, Mistress?"

"Watch your tone, Holly. Even in this state, I could kill you."

"I know. And I long ago came to terms with the fact that my death will probably come at your hands one day. At least let me finish preparing you for Master Strange."

Silence then, until I am done. I wipe down her other side and help her roll over to clean her back and thighs. I comb the tangles out of her hair, wash her face, touch on the expensive perfume her bought for her last Christmas. I glance at her hand, and her wedding band is gone yet again. So I open her jewelry drawer and withdraw her flashy engagement ring, a diamond that must have cost more than a new car. I slip it on her finger. A little blush on her perfect cheekbones, some red lip stain. The kind that won't smear no matter how hard she's kissed. When I sit back to survey her, she looks breathtaking. I draw the new purple coverlet folded at the bottom of the bed up and over her to keep her nude, battered body from getting chilly.

We look evenly at one another. Finally, she speaks.

"He doesn't look at me the way he used to."

"Do you still love him?"

"What a ridiculous question. Of course I love my husband."

I feel differently about this woman before me now. Emboldened by the fact that I know I am protected. In love with her husband and protective of him. I remember the sorrow and need in his eyes when I whispered to him during our intimacy with Lisa.

"He knows he's done wrong by you. He hates himself for it. But Mistress, he is terribly lonely. He wants you to love him. He misses you. He treasures you. If you could find it in your heart to treat him with more respect…"

"This is none of your business, Holly. And you are on VERY dangerous ground."

"…if you could touch him more tenderly, as though his body were a precious artifact. If you could be gentle with him, laugh with him, play with him like you used to…he might look at you the way he once did."

Why am I helping her?! Why!? I love her husband. He is willing to let the marriage die. He has given up. Yet here I am, trying desperately to get her to see reason. Not for her sake. Certainly not for mine. But for his.

Clea struggles to sit up, and I slide a pillow behind her back to lean against. She is drunk, and exhausted, and injured. But she is still in control. Her voice is tight.

"Stick to scrubbing toilets, you meddlesome little bitch. Leave the marriage counseling for someone else."

I touch her hand, and she makes a fist.

"I want to see you both happy."

"Replacing the staff with well trained males would go a long way toward making that happen."

"You need to stop physically abusing him."

"Get out."

"Mistress Clea, you are going to lose him if you continue to treat him like an unwanted dog. That man has his pride. He could have any woman he wanted. He chose you. Tell him you're sorry. Tell him you love him. Tell him you will be kind to him."

"I said get out, before the other little slaves have to scrub your remains out of the carpet."

"You are the most beautiful creature this planet has ever seen. He is enchanted by you. There is a joy greater than any mortal hearts could dream of that could be a reality for the two of you."

"Something obviously changed during my trip. Tell me what it was, before I find out on my own and explode all over you like a supernova."

"I found my voice. I love my employers. I respect you both. You were right, Mistress Clea. I am a submissive. I will always lower my head and accept anything the two of you wish. I will never speak this openly with you again. But I couldn't in good conscience hold my tongue any longer. I want to see you both receive the love and comfort that you deserve. I remember when you first came here, how happy he was during those months. How happy you were. You could have that again. I'm going to go now, as you requested. Someone will come to you when you ring the bell in the kitchen. I will have dinner sent and more painkillers. I will tend to you tomorrow morning. I will do everything you ask. I know you are angry with me for meddling. Please don't take it out on Master Strange. He deserves the best of you. He has given you the best of himself. I hope that you have a pleasant night."

She is shocked, and indeed angry. I have no idea what's come over me, why I spoke so freely and passionately to this woman I have been largely silent and respectful around for the past three years. I don't tempt fate any longer, instead getting to my feet and cleaning up the medical supplies while she glares at me. I add a little more wood to the fire and set out freshly washed soft clothing for the both of them in the bathroom, to change into later. Then, with a deep bow, I turn and leave the room.

In the hallway, I lean against a wall with my eyes closed. I have possibly sabotaged any chance at a lasting relationship with my Master by having that conversation with his wife. My heart is breaking. I let the waves of pain wash over me, and I do not shrink from them. For a little while, I just breathe in and out. Remembering every little detail of the past three days. The laughter and the tenderness and the new sensations. The love. The tears. The discipline and the baths and the kisses and the warmth of his arms around me. The treehouse. His eyes. His deep gentle voice. The Council. The library.

I can't linger here all afternoon. There are other things to be done. I have performed my duties for the Mistress of the Sanctum to the best of my abilities for now. It is time to let things play out as they will.

"Holly?"

I turn to face my Master as he comes down the hall, a plate of raspberries in his hand. The fruit he hates for the woman he loves. He sets it down on the small table by the door and reaches for me. But I step back, taking his hands in mine instead.

"She's ready for you, sir."

His brows knit together, and he looks down at our hands, then back to my face.

"What are you…"

"I offered advice as to how your marriage could be improved. She may have listened, she may not have. Your wife says that she loves you and misses the way you used to look at her. Be gentle with her, she's got fresh stitches in her side."

"This isn't a pleasant situation."

"Perhaps not. But it is what you need. With your permission, sir, I would like to take the rest of the night off."

"Holly, please…"

"Everything is alright. Your happiness is more important to me than anything else in the world, Master. With all my heart, I treasure you. Go to your wife. Love her. I've set out comfortable clothing for you both in the bathroom. Tenzin will attend you later this evening. He's the one on call."

"Where are you going?"

"I'd like to have dinner at the café up the street. Then a walk in the park to watch the sunset. Maybe do a little reading."

He looks concerned and unhappy and confused at my words and my demeanor. Once more he moves to hug me. And once more I step back, avoiding his gaze as well as his embrace.

"I will return before ten, sir. Take care of Mistress Clea."

"What's gotten into you? Are you angry with me?"

"Certainly not, Master. I could never feel upset at you. But I don't want to complicate things tonight. There may be a chance to save your marriage, to rekindle the fire that has died."

"I don't want to rekindle the fire. It's burning out, and it's time that I come to terms with that."

"Try one last time. Just to be sure. If that woman in there is your soulmate, you owe it to the both of you to try one more time."

"But I love you."

There's a lump in my throat. I finally look up at him, taking a deep breath.

"I love you too. I also saw how you reacted the moment you heard she was injured. There's a large part of you that still loves her. Tonight, let that part guide you. I meant what I said, Master. I am grateful that I am one of the women you care for. This isn't easy, but it's the right thing to do."

"I'll come to you tonight."

"No, sir. Stay with her. Hold her. Find out if it's still there."

He looks down the hall toward his bedroom door, closed. His wife waiting on the other side of it, naked in bed and wanting him. Then he turns his eyes on me again. The troubled expression on his handsome face deepens my sorrow. I touch his arm.

"Have you considered that you may not be in love with me, but are simply reacting to me the way that you do because I treat you the way you want to be treated? The way you wish your wife would treat you? That maybe your heart lies with Clea, and not with me at all? You are a man who has been slowly starved of affection, respect, loyalty, deference for the past few years. You found it unbearable. I give you these things freely. You said yourself that my kind of single-minded devotion to you is a heady elixir for any man to taste."

His jaw tightens. He looks angry now.

"You forget that I'm not some confused twenty year old with a childhood crush. I'm a man in his forties who knows himself to the core. You think I don't also know what I want in a partner? A lover? I've been more honest with you than I have been with anyone in a long time. I expected you to take my feelings seriously."

"I do take them seriously, sir. We just need to be sure of them."

"How dare you."

I lower my head, knowing that I've triggered his temper. A temper that, while rarely shown, does exist and is nothing to be taken lightly. I decide to drop the subject. I shouldn't even have brought it up. I've questioned his sincerity and implied that he doesn't know what he's doing. Of course the insult upset him.

"May I have the night off, Master?"

"Fine. Perhaps you can take some time to search your own feelings. Maybe you don't love me at all. You came here as a timid prepubescent child, servant to a powerful man when you had never spent time with any male to whom you were not related. When a little girl grows up isolated, sheltered, and barefoot in a cornfield, she's bound to mistake dazzlement for emotion and a crush on a stranger for love."

His words sting worse than any blow, and the sarcastic tone under them hurts even more. He's never spoken harshly to me before. I meet his gaze, tears in my eyes.

"Please don't." I whisper.

"I shouldn't judge you harshly for your lack of sophistication. You're still a child, after all."

"Master…."

"You're dismissed. However I might feel about her, I have a woman I need to spend time with."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"Did you hear me? You're dismissed."

Utterly miserable and utterly defeated, I back away from him. Then I bow respectfully and walk away without another word. I don't trust my voice to speak.

I can hear him enter the bedroom and close the door as I reach the top step. The lock clicks. It is a sound that shatters my soul. I love him. I know that he loves me. I shouldn't have questioned that, not when he's already aggravated by the return of his wife and the tension of the current situation. Thank God I make it to my bedroom before the first sob rises to my lips. I curl up in the fetal position on my bed and give myself over to crying. The pain in my chest is so intense that it is an actual, physical sensation and not just an emotional one. I want to scream. I want to run back to his bedroom and beat on the door and throw myself into his arms. I want to take his face in my hands and kiss him until I can't breathe. Instead, I cry myself into exhaustion and then lie still. Feeling empty.

My eyes rest on the narrow window above the desk, and the nodding lilac blossoms outside it. I can't just wallow here all night. I have to distract myself, I have to take my mind from the agony of what's happening and where the man I love is and the cruel coldness to his voice when he admonished me for being childish. So I sit up and wipe my face. Move to the basin and splash cool water on my stinging eyes until some of the swelling eases. I change clothes, into blue jeans and a sweater and sneakers. And then I am stepping out of my bedroom and walking quietly to the phone in the foyer. The little black leather book of phone numbers that he gave to me is in my back pocket. I pull it out and leaf through it, realizing that I barely know anyone in the world beyond these walls. Finally, I dial Lisa's number and wait.

"Hello?"

"Lisa, it's Holly. Are you busy?"

"Just getting a little studying done, but I can put it on hold for a little while if the two of you would like to see me."

Her voice is smooth and soft, soothing. I close my eyes.

"It's…it's just me. Master Strange is with his wife. She returned this afternoon. I was wondering if you'd like to meet at the Italian café up the street from the Sanctum, the one with the red awning?"

There's silence for a moment.

"Are you alright, Holly?"

"We had a fight."

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry! Of course I'll meet you. Give me about twenty minutes, ok? Just take a couple deep breaths and try to calm your nerves. I'll catch a cab and be there soon. Does he know you're calling me?"

"No."

"It's not wise to do anything behind his back or lie to him. You'll need to tell him that we met up later on when he's calmed down and you speak to one another again. And sweetheart, he will calm down. I've seen him angry before. Never at me, but just angry in general. It takes a little while, but he'll be fine in a few hours. Bundle up warm for the walk to the café. It's chilly outside this evening. See you soon."

"Thank you. I didn't have anyone else to call. I didn't know what to do."

"You did the right thing. I'll be there in a bit."

We hang up, and I open the closet to find a jacket. When I encounter his soft sweatshirt, it takes everything in me to keep from bursting into tears again. I hug the fabric to me, burying my face in it, shaking. But the moment passes, thankfully. I pull out a nondescript black coat and bundle up, and by the time I ease the vast front door open and step out onto the front stoop I am somewhat calmer. The cool air feels good on my face during the five block walk to the café. Hands in my pockets, head down, I grapple with my emotions and attempt to gain control over them. I don't have to stay here. I could call Uncle Lester and ask to come home. Things are simpler there.

But I'd be walking away from the only man I have ever loved, and turning my back on ten years of training and servitude and loyalty and duty. It would be a cowardly move.

I can't bear the thought of leaving. Not ever. But I can't bear the way he spoke to me, either.

Lisa is already inside when I reach the café, looking casual and beautiful in a dark skirt and a green cable knit sweater. Actually, she looks better than I've ever seen her. Gone are the tight dresses and high heels and layers of carefully applied makeup. Her hair is back in a simple ponytail and she's smiling. When she sees me enter, she gestures me over to the table she's sitting at. I slide into the chair across from her, unzipping my coat.

"Waitress? Can we get a couple of menus and some hot coffee? Thanks." Lisa snags the young lady walking by our table. The girl nods and heads off to procure the requested items.

"You look like you've been crying, honey. What happened? You don't seem the type to fight with anyone in the world. And he was so gentle with you when we were together. The man is smitten with you."

I reach for a napkin ahead of the tears that form in my eyes, dabbing under them to catch the drops before they spill down my cheeks. I don't say anything until the waitress has returned and set two white ceramic mugs of hot coffee down on the table before us. She cheerfully hands us both a menu and trots off again to give us a chance to study it. I'm not hungry. But I haven't eaten all day, and I know I need to.

God, I just want to die.

"I don't know what happened. One moment I was talking to him about trying to fix his marriage and the next I was just stupidly blurting out that he might not actually be in love with me. It really, really rubbed him the wrong way."

"Ouch. Oh wow."

We sip our coffee, and in a low voice I repeat the terrible scene in the hall to the other woman while she listens patiently. Sympathetically. When I've finished, Lisa sighs and reaches across the table to lay her hand on mine.

"Your heart is in the right place, Holly. He'll realize that when he's had time to think. I'm more concerned about the way you talked to Clea. I've never met her, but I've seen her at this or that event with him on television or in the papers. She has a serious case of resting bitch face. The first few times I was called to the Sanctum, I was terrified that she'd return early and murder me."

"She would without a second's hesitation. She's killed an escort before. It was awful."

"How you manage to deal with her is beyond me. I don't get what he sees in her, to be honest. She's got a decent figure and pretty features, but one look at the haughty way she carries herself and the mean look in those eyes is a massive turn off."

"He loves her. They're cementing that now." I toss the menu aside, looking out the window at the street beyond. "Twice. As you know."

"Try not to think about it. You'll only drive yourself crazy."

"We can't ever be together like a normal couple. Not with our different social standings and positions and backgrounds and duties. He can be with her openly."

"So what? Look, Stephen is known all over the world for being generous, kind, fearless, wise and patient. His wife isn't well liked thanks to her numerous public displays of anger and jealousy. Remember that interview last February when she threatened to snap a reporter's neck for asking Stephen how he felt about being named the sexiest man of the year? I mean, the reporter barely brushed her fingers across his knee, and suddenly Clea's rising to her feet and over five million viewers witnessed her grab the poor woman by the throat. Then the feed was cut off and went to the stand by screen. It was a scandal! How much of that bullshit do you think your boss will put up with? Honestly?"

I hide a reluctant smile with one hand, remembering how Wong kept replaying the clip on his laptop and laughing at the look on Master Strange's face. He found the whole scene terribly funny.

I didn't.

The waitress comes back. Lisa orders soup and a sandwich. I just shrug and order the same thing.

"How does a person…..get into college?"

She sits back in her chair, studying me. A look of delight on her face.

"You just apply. Give them your high school records. Write an essay. And pay the fees. Why? Are you thinking of going?"

"Maybe."

"Well what does Stephen say?"

"It was his idea."

"I'll help you navigate the paperwork if you want to get started. Any idea what you might like to study?"

I look down at my hands, turning them over to stare at the unscarred, unblemished covering of calloused white skin.

"I think…medicine."

"Is that you talking? Or is that him talking?"

"Little of both. God Lisa, what am I going to do? I'm in so much pain."

"Nothing for tonight. Don't do a thing. And avoid him tomorrow. He treated you like shit. I don't know him as well as you do, but I do know men. I know men extremely well. He's going to be feeling guilty. Make him come to you. Stay out of his way, delegate tasks to other employees, keep yourself scarce. Then just wait. Wait for him to come to you and apologize. And Holly?"

I raise my eyes to look at her, waiting expectantly.

She smiles.

"When he apologizes, don't say a word. Just throw your whole weight against him and kiss him like your life depended on it. Be aggressive for once. Be desperate and passionate and demanding. Rip his clothes, you can mend them later. Dig your nails into his back, he can conceal the wounds. Explode all over him with a need so intense and so primal that it shocks the hell out of him. Trust me. I did that once, on a night when he seemed a little sad and quiet, and he responded with more fervor than I'd ever seen. He loves to feel wanted. Desired. Show him that he drives you crazy. Bite his lip. Shove him against a wall. Make him subdue you. I promise you…it will be the best night of your life."

My eyes are huge, and I shake my head slightly.

"I can't do something like that! It's not ladylike!"

"Do it. Turn into a little wild animal. Be a feral cat in heat. Don't tell him I let you in on this little secret."

She winks at me. The waitress puts our plates down, and Lisa digs in with gusto. My Master would be pleased to see her eat like this. I glance at the clock on the wall, wondering if he and his wife are finished. Cuddling, perhaps. Whispering warm words to one another. Patching up years of fights and discord.

My soup tastes like nothing. The sandwich might as well be made of Styrofoam. I eat everything anyway, and spend almost two hours with Lisa. She tells me about how she marched into the office of the escort agency and unceremoniously quit yesterday. There is triumph in her voice. My Master gave her that liberation, that freedom.

By the time we've finished our meals, it's getting dark out. I embrace her warmly at the entrance to the café, feeling a thousand times better than I did when I walked in. She kisses both my cheeks and tells me that if I ever want to get together for 'more than just dinner', I should give her a call. I blush. The blush only deepens when she plants a kiss right on my lips.

"I hid it well for two years. Pretending to be straight so I could get more clients. But I'm not. If things don't work out with you and Stephen, give me a call. Hell, give me a call anyway. I like him. He's a perfect gentleman, and if you two are a package deal I'm fine with it. There's something about that man that transcends gender preference. Will you be alright getting home?"

"I will, thank you. Are you….are you flirting with me?"

Lisa zips up my coat for me and strokes my cheek.

"Absolutely. I'm only seven years older than you are, honey. That's not much. We could be an amazing couple. You could even move in with me if you wanted. If things worked out. I'd love to worship that adorable little body and make you feel like a princess. You deserve it. Keep my number handy. And give Stephen a kiss from me, will you? I never allowed clients to kiss me on the lips. But that night with the two of you, when I broke my own rule and kissed him in the tub? That was mind blowing. I'd happily do it again."

"You're shameless. Thank you for the compliment." I smile and hug her again, my chest warming. No one in the world has ever flirted with me before. Only my Master. I feel flattered and shy.

"Call me sometime next week. We should get together more often. You need to leave the Sanctum once in awhile, get out into the real world for a change. Find some hobbies. Hey, how about I take you to see a Broadway play sometime? Have you ever been?"

"No. Never."

"Well I'm going to change that for sure. Have a safe walk home, sweetheart."

She bestows one last kiss on my lips, and a passing couple audibly gives us an 'Awwww' as they walk by. The woman flashes a thumbs-up.

"Yay Pride!" she says.

Lisa laughs, but I duck my head with embarrassment.

"Yay Pride." I murmur. "I don't know if I'm…you know, gay. Or lesbian. Whatever it's called. I don't know anything."

"You know how to go down on a wizard pretty well." She doesn't notice how that comment makes my mouth open in shock. She's too busy scanning the road for a cab. When she spots one, she flags it down with a wave of her hand.

"I'll see you again soon. Don't worry about the fight, you two will be fine. Try to relax. Do a little self-care. Take a bubble bath tonight. Get in touch with your own sexuality if you know what I mean." She winks. I have no idea what she means, but I nod anyway.

"Thank you for having dinner with me. I enjoyed the evening. You made it bearable."

"The pleasure was all mine. See you soon, Holly Tremor."

And then she is gone, sliding into the taxi and tugging the door shut. I watch the retreating vehicle until it vanishes among the other cars. When it's gone, I turn around and begin to slowly walk back towards the Sanctum. Feeling lighter of spirit than I did a few hours ago. A Broadway play? A date with an attractive woman? College? The world is opening in front of me wider than I ever dreamed possible. Whether I choose to walk into that brand new landscape is completely up to me. For the first time in my life, I am free to do as I wish.

The thought of green-blue eyes and husky laughter and warm arms around me and the spice of cologne fills my head, and I sigh. I won't walk away from the man whom I know with every fiber of my being that I love. Whatever future lies ahead of me, he is surely a part of it.

I am so lost in my own thoughts that I'm completely unaware of being followed.