Defective Magic of Spooky Doom

Chapter 15- Orphans

His scratches and bruises were still fresh and ached, but that was the least of Zim's problems right now. One of the examiners, the male one, had walked into the room during the quarrel with Larb. No matter how many times Zim tried to explain that Larb had started it, the examiner wouldn't hear any of it and dragged the both of them to the Headmasters' office. Neither Red nor Purple seemed too surprised to see him; it was almost like they didn't expect anything else from him by then. The two examiners and the old Irken were in there too, though they looked far more relaxed.

The former two were giving both him and Larb mild frowns, though, showing they weren't happy with them either.

"You two started a fight in the middle of the Astronomy exam?" Red began.

"Larb started it!" Zim protested.

"I merely said the truth, sirs." Larb said calmly. "It's not my fault that Zim can't handle it."

"You're lying!"

"Even if that were an excuse…!" Red scowled, momentarily raising his voice. "Which it's not, that wasn't the time to settle your… differences."

"Yeah, you could have waited for the free period at the very least!" Purple added quickly.

"Mr. Paxak, this is only the first time you've gotten into trouble this year, so you're free to go for now, but we'll keep an eye on you for signs of any more misbehavior. Additionally, you are grounded for two weeks."

"Yes, sir."

"You're dismissed."

Larb turned around and walked out of the office, not before secretly giving Zim a smug sneer.

Irkens have a different way of dealing with infractions. As everyone knows, their whole society is based on height. As such, taller individuals aren't punished as often when getting into trouble, especially when they come from tall, influential clans. The shorter Irkens are always the ones raked over the coals, even if the taller ones are the actual guilty party.

Of all of Irkharth's alumni, at least thirty four percent belonged to families with the traits mentioned above. These clans had attended the school for generations, and most of them kept tabs on their alma mater to make sure their children received the best education possible. Often, they made expensive donations or 'pulled a few strings' to make sure they got their way. Because of this, Irkens from these families weren't punished as strictly the few times they happen to get in trouble.

Larb Paxak was a peculiar case. His family, the House of Paxak, although fabulously wealthy and with an impeccably tall bloodline, created some controversy within the Irken Magical society. For instance, they are notorious blood-supremacists. Irkens don't usually put value in such an 'inferior thing such as blood purity,' and are instead driven by height. The House of Paxak, however, apart from looking down upon shorters, was additionally known to reject interactions or fraternizing with half-bloods and no-maj-borns, be it Irken, human, Vortian, or any species.

As such, Larb was known to pick not only on shorter classmates but also on those coming from half-blood or no-maj families. Since his parents were one of Irkharth's most common benefactors, he knew he could get away with almost anything in the school. Usually, though, he never went beyond verbal teasing and making fun of his classmates. Arrogant as he might be, he was fully aware that his family had a reputation to maintain.

But Zim…

Red rubbed his temples, sighing. "How many times must we have this conversation, Zim?" he murmured.

"You mean this isn't the first time he gets into trouble?" Trina inquired.

"We wish." Purple said, munching on a donut. "At this rate, we'll have to reserve a filing drawer just for him."

"And have you contacted his parents about it?" Purple and Red shifted uncomfortably at Mauven's question.

"About that…" Red hesitated. "He doesn't have parents. He's an orphan."

Zim's squeedly-spooch sunk.

Trina and Mauven exchanged looks. "Any immediate family?"

"None that we know. Professor Lena said that the closest thing the smeet has to a mother is the Vortian female working at the orphanage he lives in."

"That would explain why he doesn't seem to be aware of Irken customs…" Trina murmured.

"Well, in that case, be sure to inform the Vortian of Mr…" Mauven thought for a few seconds. "Zim's misbehaviors as if she were his parent if there's no one else to turn to."

"D-Don't tell Hecate!" Zim cried out.

"You should have thought of that before starting a fight, Zim." Red said sternly. "I'll write her a letter tonight informing her of your numerous infractions."

"Speaking of infractions…" Mauven glanced at the Headmasters with a stern frown. "We heard from a certain source that a hyooman snuck into Irkharth not long ago."

Purple spat his coffee into his co-Headmaster's face. Red was so shocked that he failed to respond to it, instead trying his best to keep his composure. How on Irk did they find out?! No, he didn't to ask, the answer was right in front of him.

"Zim, you're dismissed for now. We'll talk about your punishment later."

Zim didn't need to be told twice, especially after noticing the undercurrent of anger in Headmaster Red's voice. He sped out of the room, dragging GIR by the tail.

"So tell me, is that true?"

Purple chuckled nervously and pulled on the collar of his cape. "It's a funny story."

Red cut him off. "The hyooman seems to have retained his memories even after I cast the Memory Charm." He confessed.

He was partly ashamed to admit this, but the looks Trina and Mauven had in their faces almost made him burst out laughing. Those two had always been so stiff and fancy ever since they became Archmages.

"What?"

"I cast the Memory Charm on the hyooman, but yet somehow he found his way here. What does that tell you?" Red continued. "Either he 'casually' found a way in by sheer luck alone, or he kept his memories and found his way to the Green Faerie and somehow used the Floo Network."

"That wouldn't make any sense. Why would the charm fail at all?" Mauven narrowed his eyes. "Did you cast it correctly?"

Red got to his feet, shooting Mauven a stern look. "What are you implying?"

"Memory charms were never your thing, Reddok. Besides, you have the habit of losing focus when distracted by external factors."

"You're questioning my ability? Because unless memory fails me, you could never surpass me at any subjects."

"Let's not waste our time with childish quarrels, you two." Trina said sternly as she shot both Irkens an icy frown. She looked at Red. "So, you don't think you might have performed it incorrectly?"

"No, he didn't! I was there!" Purple said.

"I was asking Reddok."

"But I cast it on the hyooman kid too, and it didn't work either!"

"You're suggesting that the child is immune to magic spells?" Mauven repeated. "Impossible."

"There have been cases before, Mauven." Trina said. "It's not as common as before, but there are a few registered cases of no-maj people being unaffected by certain magic spells."

"Do you know who this kid is, at the very least?"

Red and Purple exchanged a glance.

"No."

"Never seen him before. All we know is how he looks like…" Trina held up her clipboard and a quill. "Oh. Well, he must be about ten or eleven, he wears a black trench coat and pants. He's got an awful taste! Everyone knows black is…"

"Purple!" Red called out before his friend could trail off again, continuing with the explanation himself. "Anyway, he's got a huge head. How it fits atop of that short hyooman body is a mystery to me. He's got this weird black scythe on his head and wears… um… a round ocular accessory thingy to improve his poor eyesight…"

"Glasses," Trina said in an exasperated tone.

"Yeah, glasses."

Mauven rubbed his chin. "A hyooman with an enormous head, you say? I might know who we are dealing with, but I'd have to confirm it first."

"Hey, didn't Zim call him Dib-thing?" Purple pointed out.

"Ah! Then it must be him!"

Red coughed. "Might filling us in?"

"Have you heard of Professor Membrane?"

"Isn't he the renown hyooman scientist who's even got his tv show?"

"Yes. He has two kids. The older one, Dib Membrane, has already caused some controversy in the no-maj world for his interests in the occult and supernatural phenomena. He's even taken part in a few scandals when he tried 'exposing magic to the world.'"

"Hey, I heard about that! The kid stalked a magician thinking that he was a real wizard!" Purple snickered. "You know what's ironic? He was right, but Illuzo made it look like he was insane!"

"Indeed, it was a smart move on that Vortian's part." Mauven coughed loudly. "Anyhow, we shall inform the Magical Council, so they will keep an eye on the Membrane boy to confirm your theory. Meanwhile, if he does show up, here again, be sure to report it."

Red nodded solemnly. "We will."

While Zim liked being the center of attention, he didn't like it when it was the wrong type. As he entered the dining hall that night, he felt all eyes on him. Some were whispering, snickering, or even shooting him looks. They were undoubtedly talking about what transpired in Astronomy Class. Zim quickened his pace, grabbed his tray of food, and went to the usual table, where Skoodge and Bob were already seated.

"You made it alive out of the Headmasters' office, so I guess they didn't go that hard on you."

"The Headmasters understood that Zim did nothing wrong, so they let me go!" Zim lied. "Besides, they had more important things to do!"

"Frankly, I'm glad someone finally caused Larb a world of pain." Bob said.

"But violence is not the best way to solve things…" Skoodge added timidly.

"Oh, come on, even you have to admit that he deserved it! He's always talking down on us just because we're short! And he gets away with it because he's tall and comes from an influential family!"

"Wow, you really got a problem with taller Irkens, don't you?"

"Can you blame me? I mean, it's hard when everyone around you looks down on you because of your height, but when even your own family does it, it takes the cake!"

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the trio of losers." Zim stiffened as Larb's group approached.

"Why don't you bother someone else for today? We're kind of not in the mood to deal with you right now." Bob said. "I mean, we're not the only shorters to pick on around here."

"Why, you hurt me! I have come in peace!" Larb laughed. "Besides, I've already gotten into enough trouble, and I have a family reputation to maintain. Surely you understand the importance of withholding family expectations… Oh, wait." Larb's gaze shifted towards Zim. "You don't."

Zim froze as he noticed the tiniest hint of malice in the taller Irken's eyes.

"What do you mean?" Skoodge asked.

"Oh, so he hasn't told you?" Alexovich said. "Zim here is an orphan."

Zim's fork dropped to the ground with a loud clatter. He knows.

"What are you talking about?" Bob asked, only half-serious.

"A little bird told me," a caw caught Zim's attention. He glanced at the raven on Larb's shoulder. He must have sent his familiar to spy on him! "That Zim here has no parents and comes from an orphanage."

"In other words, he's a nobody!" Flobee snickered.

"If you don't believe me, just think about it!" Larb continued before Skoodge or Bob could say anything. "How come the teachers never call him by a surname? Even better: Zim is an Irken and yet he knows nothing about our customs or culture. He doesn't hold height in the same regard as we do. How is that possible unless he didn't grow up with Irken parents or any at all?"

Zim didn't hear the rest of what they were saying. Instead, he was focused entirely on all the stares on top of him, his lekku twitching frantically as he heard their whispers and snickers. That's what they were talking about: that he was a nobody, a no-name. Skoodge and Bob, too, were staring at him. What were they thinking of him?.

Eventually, he couldn't bear it anymore and jumped off his seat, his feet carrying him away from the dining hall just as some tears escaped from the corners of his eyes.

-DMoSD-

From the beginning, Ilk had suspected that Zim was just like her. He didn't hold height in the same regard as the rest and didn't know much about Irken culture in general. He rarely spoke about his home and tried to avoid the topic whenever possible. She understood why he'd hide it, though. It's not something one might want other people to know unless she trusted them.

Naturally, when Larb just went and technically shouted Zim's secret to the four winds, causing him to run off, Ilk just couldn't let Larb get away with it this time. Especially when he and his cronies started laughing at Zim's reaction, calling him a crybaby.

Against all common sense, Ilk roughly smashed her fork on the table and stomped towards Larb, lekku flat against her head.

POW!

The dining hall went silent when her fist came into contact with Larb's face with such force that he nearly fell backward to the ground. The reason he didn't was that Alexovich and Flobee caught him.

"What the-?" Larb rubbed his sore eye and glared at Ilk with the good one. "Who do you think you are?"

"No, who do you think you are!" Ilk scowled. "Picking on someone constantly just because they're short is one thing, but a exposing something as personal as that is something very different!"

"Well, he should have thought that before playing with the big boys!"

"Big boys! Ha! Please, people like you need to pick on others to make themselves feel superior because those people have more guts in a fist than you in your entire body!"

The comment seemed to struck a nerve, as Larb loomed threateningly over Ilk. Unlike other species, Irkens have no qualms about hitting girls, as both genders are seen as equal and capable of holding their ground in an even fight.

"What did you just say to me?" he hissed.

"Ilk, don't waste your time with him! We should go find Zim!" Skoodge intervened before someone, namely Ilk, could get hurt.

Ilk returned Larb's glare for a few more moments before following Bob and Skoodge out of the cafeteria.

They looked in their dormitory first, but he wasn't there; his dragon plush was missing, though, so that meant he passed through here. The trio then split up to cover more terrain. There was no trace of Zim in the classrooms, dungeons, the Quidirk field, greenhouses, nor anywhere around the school. Had he left the school grounds?

The trio reunited in the main entrance hall.

"Any luck?" Ilk asked. Bob and Skoodge shook their heads.

"Do you think we should inform the Professors?"

"We should save that as a last recourse. I mean, he couldn't have left school, he's probably hiding somewhere." Bob said.

"Larb did cross the line this time. Poor Zim, I don't want to imagine how he must be feeling right now."

"I don't mean to sound mean, but he could have avoided this if he had just told us the truth."

"That's not something you'd like to spread out." Ilk chided. "Would you go around telling people that you're an orphan?"

"With a family like mine, I'd publish it in the first page of the school paper."

"Bob!"

Ilk took a deep breath. "Okay, think. Where else could Zim have gone?"

"Need a hand?"

The trio found Stink running down the hallway towards them, followed closely by Grapa and Spleen.

"What are you doing here?" Bob asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Chill out, we come in peace." Stink said, lifting up his hands defensively. "I mean, Zim and I might not see eye to eye, but if there's something that we both have in common is that we hate Larb," he snickered. "About time someone finally put him in his place!"

"Well, you could start by giving us ideas of where to look now. I think we've looked throughout half the school grounds, and there's no sign of him." Ilk said.

"Have you tried in the upper levels?" Spleen suggested. "It's got plenty of places to hide."

"We looked in the classrooms up there already!" Bob said.

"Not the classrooms. The towers. There are certain spots where you can climb out of the window and sit over a railing."

"Okay, then. We'll check the northern towers, and you check the southern ones."

"We should hurry up too before the curfew starts."

"Master?"

"Not now, GIR."

GIR might not be very smart, but, as a familiar, he had a deep sense of empathy, especially towards his Master. Their connection-level wasn't that strong yet, so he couldn't feel the same things as Zim, but he could tell when Zim was upset.

He had the feeling something was off ever since they ran out of the cafeteria and Zim looked for somewhere to hide. Eventually, they came to the northern towers and climbed out of the window onto one of the rooftops. Despite his fear of heights, GIR still followed his Master and joined him outside. Zim sat down, legs hanging from the edge, and just stared into the distance.

The night was clear and starry with a bright crescent moon. Far up ahead, there was a vast landscape with woods, prairies, and the ocean. The city's distant lights faintly reflected on the surface of the water.

"Are you sad, Master?" GIR asked innocently.

"No."

"Don't be sad, Master. Here, have a cupcake!" GIR held out a waffle with pink whipped cream and some colorful sprinkles. Zim chuckled humorlessly. GIR might not be the smartest familiar, but at least he actually cared about his feelings.

"Thanks, GIR."

Zim twitched his lekku as he heard footsteps on the rooftop.

"Zim?" It was Ilk-smeet. GIR greeted her and he to talk to Kuna.

"What are you doing here? Come to make fun of Zim, the parentless?" He said bitterly.

"No, Zim. I came to see if you were okay."

"Zim is fine, Ilk-smeet. It's not the first time someone humiliates me in public, so I'm used to it. I don't need pity."

"Zim, it's not pity, we're just worried about you. "

"'We?'"

"Skoodge and Bob are inside. So are Stink, Grapa, and Spleen." Zim scoffed at the mention of the latter three.

"I suppose they want to make fun of me?"

"Zim, nobody wants to make fun of you. They are worried."

"Why would they?" Zim stiffened, closing his eyes shut. "Not even my own mother cared about me, so why would they?"

He heard the Ilk-smeet's footsteps. He initially thought she had left until he heard some tiles creaking; Zim took a peek and realized that she had sat down next to him.

"You know, you're not the only orphan here, Zim." Ilk sighed sadly. "My parents died in an accident when I was a smeet." Zim glanced at her.

"Really?"

"Yes. I was raised by Lard Nar, a Vortian potions master who was an old friend of my mother, but still, I know how it feels like to wonder how your life would have been if your parents were with you…"

"At least you know who they were."

"Not exactly. Lard Nar has mentioned they were powerful mages, but he lost all the pictures with my mother due to an incident with his cauldron. He does tell me stories of them, but it's just… Not the same, you know." Ilk sniffed. "At least you have a chance of finding your parents someday."

Zim said nothing for a while. The two just sat on the edge in silence. After a while, though, Zim felt like he had to do something after the Irkenette had shared such a personal thing with him. Shifting closer to Ilk, he patted her shoulder with a hand.

"Sorry, Ilk-smeet." He said, trying to sound comforting.

"Thanks…" Ilk wiped her eyes with her arm and looked up at the sky. "Look at that."

Zim lifted his gaze. He was used to dark skies with one star or two, but to his amazement, he found a fully starred sky. Not only that, but there was a beautiful formation in the form of a 'river' formed with millions of bright stars.

"It's the reason this galaxy is called 'milky way,' but our people call it Irtrandil. You can't see it in cities because of all the lights, but in places without artificial light, it's as clear as day. According to ancient legends in various cultures, Irtrandil, the river running across the sky, has seen everything since the beginning of the universe."

"Ohh, like the bunch of papers I eat, master!" Gir said happily.

"If it were so easy, anyone would reach it with their spaceships." Zim pointed out. "Besides, stars are just burning balls of gas."

"As I said, it's just a legend, but it's nice to preserve our people's culture, don't you think?"

"I guess so…"

Ilk got to her feet. "We should go before we're caught, we're supposed to be in bed." Zim got to his feet and followed her towards the window.

"You know something, Ilk-smeet? I don't care what Larb says! So what if I'm an orphan? Zim is still a wizard! And when I become an Almighty Tallest Mage, I'll make Larb wash my almighty cape!"

Ilk giggled. There's the Zim she knows.

"I'm sure you will, Zim."

Looks like Zim and Ilk have grown closer over their shared orphanhood. Sadly, now everyone knows that Zim is an orphan. Wonder if this will have a negative impact later on.

The Irtrandil was based on 'Ahtohallan' from Frozen 2, but instead of a glaciar, it's a river of stars. In my opinion, stars would have even greater memory because many have lived far before out world even came to be, so they must have seen lots of stuff.

Some of you may think that Zim looks a bit OOC, but I talked about that in the very first chapter. And don't worry, it won't be long before we se Dib again.

See you next time!