Music To My Heart

by Kaosumi

Set during the show. Some events will be the same and others will differ - What if Shancai never existed? What if a love once thought lost, was not so lost any more? Who will she choose? The ever so loving Lei or the ever forceful Si? They remembered her, but can she remember them? [Some language and possible triggers may occur][Possible story line split]

9. Chapter 7 Part 1

Welcome back guys. I'm in therapy for my pulled tendons so update may be short for a while. I do apologize but I've been told to be off of the computer as much as possible in order to rest my wrist. It's sad, I know. Sorry about that.

Warning: There is a moment of suicidal thought in this chapter. If you are easily triggered, skip it. I'll place a warning before it occurs. Please seek immediate help if you need it.

~Enjoy~

---

I took a deep breath as I stood outside of the cafeteria.

I am not guilty of anything. I am a grown woman. I'm single and this is a normal thing. Accidents happen. There is nothing to be ashamed of. I'm fine. This is fine. All fine...then why am I so worried?

I bit my finger and went inside. I really needed to calm down. The hell was I so worried over?

I looked around for a moment. After not seeing Thomas I decided to look for him outside. To my dismay however, I ran into Dao. Literally. I looked up at him as he smiled slightly.

[What? Looking for me?]

I rolled my eyes.

[Get over yourself, Dao. I'm not looking for you.]

I started to walk off when he grabbed the back of my jack. I looked up at him as an uncalled for fear came over me.

Dao looked at me a moment before letting me go and grabbing a hold of my wrist instead.

[Sorry. I forgot that bothers you.]

I sighed as the fear started to subside.

[It's fine, Dao. Let me go though.]

[Who are you looking for then?]

I stared at him before he continued.

[Come on. Go and sit.]

He sat me down in a chair as he sat beside me and sat the tray he was holding in front of me.

[You look pretty nice today.]

I pouted slightly. I always felt like I looked good but he was patting his own back this time.

[Complementing your gift are you?]

[I do have impeccable taste.]

I rolled my eyes again.

[What's with the food?]

[I ordered too much. Eat.]

[I'm not hungry, Dao.]

[I don't care. You can only go after you finish eating. You're too skinny. I'm going to make you fatter.]

My eyes went wide with shock as I glared at him.

[What am I? A pig for slaughter?]

[That's not what I meant.]

[I'm not a pig.]

[Are you sure you're not?]

He grinned as he crossed his arms on the table while facing me.

I growled slightly as Meizuo sat beside me and Ximen across from him.

[I wish someone would make me fat like a pig.]

I glared at him as he smiled at me.

[Then by all means, Mezzie, you eat it.]

Ximen smiled as Meizuo chuckled.

[That's right. I've known you forever, but I've never seen you so considerate to anyone other than little Rose here.]

[Call me little again Ximen and I'll make you eat it.]

[Stop it, you three. You're acting like children.]

I looked at Dao as he smiled again.

[Eat up.]

I sighed as I looked at him. He was giddy. Elated even. And I couldn't help give in to him.

[If I eat the ribs will you leave me alone?]

He nodded and I looked at the try. My head was still uncomfortable like a dull ache still lingered so food couldn't have been a bad idea. I hadn't eaten yet so why not?

I ate as best I could, Dao smiling at me the entire time.

[Done. Happy now?]

He nodded as my phone rang.

[Hello?]

"Where are you? I'm near the cafeteria. I'll come up."

"No need. I'll come to you."

I hung up as the boys stared at me.

[Was that a boy or a girl?]

[What are you, my father? None of your business.]

[Rosie.]

I had started to get up but I froze. I looked at him slightly scared, slightly impressed.

[I'm warning you. You're dead meat if you do anything with another guy.]

I sighed really really hard.

[You're about sixteen years and several bad drunken decisions too late for that, Ah Si.]

I grit my teeth as I stood up. He looked hurt but also surprised at my comment. He needed to be reminded that he had no control over me.

[Rose.]

[I don't want to hear it, Mezzie.]

I walked out of the downstairs portion of the cafeteria.

[Hey, Xue.]

Thomas walked over to me and I smiled.

[Hey, Thomas right?]

He nodded as he smiled back at me.

"Come with me."

"Where to?"

"Somewhere a little less open."

He chuckled as he followed me around the corner and under an overhang of a walkway.

"I don't mean to sound rude, Thomas, but why did you come to my school?"

"You called me but, you didn't finish what you were saying. I was worried something happened."

I sighed in relief. I was really worried over nothing. Thomas was just a lot like me. He was kind hearted so he was simply worried about me. How sweet.

"I'm sorry about that. My friends don't know what happened and I have four guys that I grew up with who are overprotective of me that don't need to know what happened last night. I'm a little confused though, you really didn't do anything to me?"

He grinned.

"Of course I did."

I tilted my head as he stepped closer.

"I'm kidding. You puked everywhere. You were filthy. So, I cleaned you up and let you rest on the bed."

"And?"

"And then, I left the hotel."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

I scratched the back of my head.

"That's the sweetest thing a stranger has ever done for me. Truth be told, I think I might have been roofied or something. I can't remember a thing."

He smiled as grabbed a hold of my arm.

"You sat beside me while I was playing the piano and you told me you liked me. Is that not true then?"

I laughed slightly as I smiled back at him.

"I think you'd be a good friend if given the chance, but I have feelings for someone else already. I'm sorry if I misled you in my drunken stupor."

"I take it that you won't go out with me then."

"No, I'm sorry. We can be friends though, if you'd like."

He looked disappointed for a moment before he nodded. I grinned as he smiled at me.

"Where are you from, Thomas?"

"Paris originally, but I live in London now. You?"

"I'm from here. I've spent the last few years in America but I've recently moved back."

"Neat."

I nodded just as he let me go.

[What are you two doing?]

The sound of Dao's voice caught me off guard. I turned to him in surprise and realized he looked hurt and pissed.

[Oh, Dao, you scared me.]

He walked over and pulled me away from Thomas. I tilted my head in question as Dao looked at the both of us before settling on me.

[Who is this guy?]

The look on his face made me freeze. He looked genuinely concerned but there was something else there. Something that almost looked like he was scared.

I tilted my head in the opposite direction and smiled.

[This is my friend, Thomas. He's from Paris. He dropped by to say hi but didn't call me until he was already here. I just didn't want other people making things into something they weren't so I decided to talk to him here.]

Dao gave me a look before speaking.

[Then why not tell me about it? Why'd he grab your shoulders?]

I sighed.

[Because nothing happened. I was just telling him to go home because he thought now was a good time to confess his feelings for me that I can't return. It's not a big deal.]

I shrugged as Dao looked at Thomas.

~Listen carefully. She's my woman. Don't touch her.~

Dao wrapped his arm around my neck and pulled me to him as I stared at him.

I shook my head as I looked at Thomas.

"Sorry about him. He's insane."

Thomas smiled.

~So my beautiful friend already has a boyfriend.~

I crossed my arms as I looked at Dao.

~That's too bad.~

~What's too bad?~

Dao's tone got a little more threatening the longer he spoke.

~I'm warning you. Stay away from her.~

Thomas put his hands up in surrender.

~Okay. I'm going.~ "I'll talk to you later, Xue."

I nodded as he walked off. I hope Thomas wasn't too upset over all of this. He really did seem like a nice guy.

[Hey.]

I looked up at Dao and shoved him away from me.

[I do not believe you right now. What do you think you're doing interfering like that?]

[Protecting you.]

I glared at him.

[You do know I speak French, right?]

[You do?]

He seemed genuinely surprised.

[I spent almost two years in France because my adoptive father wanted me to help "Sam" launch his new line of mens wear. I was dropped off with no idea of how to speak the language so I had to be a quick study. I can speak German too, if you don't know that already as well.]

He sighed as I crossed my arms again.

[Call me your girlfriend again and I'll hit you.]

[He was obviously going to take advantage of you if he hasn't already. How silly you must be.]

[Me? Silly? You're the silly one. I'm not dating you and yet you butt in like this. Why do you do that?]

[We're not going out?]

I sighed as I rubbed my forehead. It just occurred to me that I may not have thought about the way he was acting thoroughly enough. I knew he liked Rose, Lei and Meizuo did too, and here I was trying to be her, and I missed this. I MISSED THE OBVIOUS SIGNS.

I'm so damn stupid sometimes it hurts.

I looked up at Dao who was looking at the ground. He was hurt. Now I was the bad guy.

[Dao…]

He looked at me and then instantly walked off.

[Dao! Wait a minute!]

Too late. He was gone. His legs were longer and he was faster. I would not catch up with him at this rate.

I sighed as a tear rolled down my face. I could feel something in me crack as I stared at his back. Part of me knew this was for the best. Part of me was confused as hell. Part of me wanted what he was willing to give...yet...I hesitated.

[I'm sorry, Ah Si. I'm just scared…]

I hung my head as I walked off as well. I wanted to go home. I just didn't know where home was any more. I let my hair down and put the hair tie on my wrist. I wanted to hide from everyone so I put my headset in and put my playlist on shuffle.

I felt like things were back at square one. Dao would go back to being cold and distant I'm sure...and Meiuzo and Ximen would adjust accordingly. I'm not sure why I keep screwing things up. I feel like it's the only thing I know how to do. If my life was in danger then that meant the boys could be in danger too, again. I didn't want that. If I got involved with any of them wouldn't that make them prime targets if they weren't already? I can act like everything is fine on the outside but on the inside, I was terrified. I was losing grip of what little courage I had left.

I brought a hand up to my cheek. The cut I had gotten a while back had long since healed. Yet, it was a reminder that I wasn't bullet proof. Cut me with a knife and I'll bleed just like anyone else. Shoot me with a bullet and I'll feel pain just like anyone else. I wasn't any good...for anyone.

I wandered around the campus for a while when I noticed that everyone was whispering and looking at me. Well, here we go again. I'm used to this nonsense now. Everyone had an agenda and someone wanted me to have a falling out with F4. I don't really care anymore. Nothing was going to change with these childish human beings.

It wasn't until I saw Kai talking with Xiuying and Mai that I realized I was right about those two. They really can't be trusted.

Mai walked over to me with her phone in her hand so I turned my music down so I could hear her as I stopped walking.

[Lee Xue.]

I lifted my head as I tilted it to keep from glaring at her.

[You spent the night with Thomas, right?]

Well, that explains a lot.

[Look at this.]

She showed me her phone where a photo of a sleeping me and a peace sign showing Thomas was posted. There were lots of comments with all sorts of colorful words in them.

When I didn't say anything, she turned back to Kai and Xiuying.

[See? She's not denying it.]

I hate it here.

[You're the only one, Kai, who still thinks she's innocent.]

[I have a question.]

They looked at me with sly smiles on their faces.

[Why did you set me up? Did you know Thomas and I were friends?]

I wanted nothing more than to keep, the him being a stranger part, out of the conversation.

[Xue, we're not the ones who posted the photos. Don't get angry with us.]

[Right. You're responsible for your own actions. Friend or not, I can't believe you did that to Daoming Si.]

Kai started defending me when I grabbed the back of Mai's head and forced her to sit on the little wall of the box garden.

[I've had enough of you.]

She started to yell at me when I hooked her as hard as I could, knocking her out at the same time.

Xiuying screamed at me as she grabbed a hold of my left arm. A poor decision on her part because I hit her too, putting her snobby little ass on the ground as well. I looked at Kai when I realized she was out too.

[Think poorly of me if you want, but I'm so very over this female version of bullying. This is what spite looks like. Nothing happened. Even if it did, it's not like I had a first time to give away anyway.]

I walked off without another word. I was disappointed with the way things were turning out. If they wanted me to be the bad guy, then have at it. I don't care anymore. Drag my name through the dirt if you want to. I'm done.

I put my headphones away as I walked by the pool. When I noticed the boys were inside, I stopped. Ah Si was doing laps and the other two were sitting on the chairs talking. I watched them for a few minutes when Meizuo noticed me and nodded for me to come in. I shook my head as I smiled slightly. He started to get up when Ximen called him over. Meizuo sat next to him when I realized they were looking at the same post Mai showed me. They turned to look at me, both taken aback pretty hard. I rolled my eyes as I shook my head. They would find out eventually so I guess it would be best just to come to terms with it now.

I looked back at Meizuo as Ximen turned to Ah Si, who was climbing out of the pool now. I clenched my jaw as his look softened. Meizuo understood. I could see that. But that doesn't change the shame that was building inside of me. I wiped a tear from my cheek as I walked off. I'm not sure I even belonged here now.

I went to the rooftop I used to sit with Lei at. I tried to call him a few times, but it kept going straight to voicemail. I gave up and looked at the post everyone was gossiping about. I could ignore everything, except one comment. [The trashy foreigner should go be with the trashy foreigner. Xue should just hang herself with those ribbons she's always wearing. No one would miss her at this point.]

I couldn't do it. I covered my mouth as the tears began to fall. I was whining pretty hard as I shut my phone off. I had finally come crashing down. I was terrified of what would come next, but right now, I was just broken.

I cried pretty hard for a while when someone sat next to me and pulled me to them.

[Shhhh, Rose. It's okay. It'll be alright.]

It was Meizuo. Coming to rescue me once again.

Another pair of arms wrapped around me as I curled up into a ball.

[You're safe here, Rose. Take your time. When you're ready, talk to us.]

It was Ximen. My beautiful big brother, coming to my rescue too. I can't say that I blame them, because I don't. I'm not sure what I would have done at this point. The ledge was looking pretty interesting there for a moment.

They held me like that for a while until I could no longer produce tears from my eyes.

Meizuo placed a hand on the back of my neck.

[What happened between you and the foreigner?]

I stared at the ground as Ximen placed a hand on my shoulder.

[We saw the picture, Rose. Just tell us what happened.]

I smirked as I recalled a hazy image of me always being in trouble with the two of them.

[I'm in trouble, aren't I? I'm not even sure if you'd believe me if I said nothing happened. I was drugged. My drink tasted funny and then everything went black. To be honest, I don't even know. Not like it's the first time something like this has happened to me though.]

Meizuo's grip tightened at the same time Ximen's did.

[I went out for a ladies night with Xiuying, Mai, and Yijun. We danced, ate, drank, but I never left my drink unattended. I don't know how it happened, but I was slipped something at some point. I told Dao he was a friend of mine just stopping by...but he's going to find out different at some point…]

[If nothing happened, then what's with the photo?]

[I'm telling you Xi, I don't know…]

He sighed as he let my shoulder go.

[Don't worry Rose, we believe you.]

I scoffed softly.

[Sure you do.]

Meizuo sighed as well.

[Rose, look, we'll figure this out, okay?]

I laughed as I got up.

[Figure this out, you say?]

I smiled as I turned to them.

[There's nothing to figure out. I've not been a virgin for a very long time and Mezzie, Xi, really? You two know what I'm like when I'm drunk. What's there to figure out? I sleep around for fun. It's just not a secret any more.]

I started to walk off when Meizuo called after me. I was at the top of the stairs when he said my name.

[Rosealine!]

I stopped as I heard him run up behind me.

[It doesn't matter.]

[What?]

I turned around to him. I was confused.

[You're not being innocent, it doesn't matter.]

I stared at him as he wrapped his arms around my neck, placing one hand on the back of my head as he did so.

[You know that doesn't matter to any of us. Especially me.]

I looked up at him as he leaned down to me and kissed me. Over and over again, he kissed me like I was going to disappear. They were hard, slow, and passionate kisses. Something I needed. To feel loved even if only for a moment.

I slid my hands up to his chest and pushed him away gently.

[You really are too much.]

He smiled as I went to take a step back to start down the stairs but found Ximen's back instead. Surprised, I turned to look at him and he chuckled.

[Don't worry, I'm over it. But, just so you understand, we're going to protect you. We'll find out who posted that picture and we'll take care of Ah Si. We've got your back.]

[And your front, so st speak.]

I chuckled as I leaned against Ximen wrapping an arm around his neck and Meizuo's as I hugged them both with a tear sliding down my cheek.

[I love you guys, so much. You have no idea.]

I squeezed them as they chuckled and then pulled at my arms.

[Okay, Rose, you're choking us.]

[Too much love.]

I squeezed harder until they called uncle and then I let them go.

[I needed that.]

I smiled at them as they gasped for air. I giggled as I slipped around Ximen and ran down the stairs. The little happiness I currently felt wasn't going to last long and I wanted away from them before it faded. The boys seemed to show up so fast sometimes. I'm not sure what I'd do without my boys but something tells me things are only going to get worse before they get any better.

I walked home as I thought about what was to come. I dreaded going back to school tomorrow. I was a little afraid of what people would do or how they would act now. The boys couldn't protect me forever. They could barely do it now…

Without ever having noticed, I found myself on a doorstep that wasn't mine. I sighed as I leaned my forehead against the front door. I could really use his kind voice and the warmth of his embrace. I missed him, like dry earth missed the rain. He'd know what to say. Know what to do. What to play.

I wiped a tear from my cheek as I pulled the keys out from inside of my shirt. I pulled the chain off as I stared at the keys.

Please...like this is going to work...get over yourself Rose...not gonna happen...they've changed the locks by now…

I sighed as I took Lei's key and slid it in the lock. With pure surprise, I opened the door, and walked in. I stared at the door as I closed it and locked it back. I then stared at the keys in my hand. How dumb were my boys to have kept the locks the same after all of these years? Why would they do that?

I put the chain back around my neck as I walked around downstairs. Lei's house was pretty bare when you talk about decorations. He had a few pictures hung here and there of him and me along with the boys and some of his family but not much. It felt...minimal compared to the way I like my space. If it didn't look busy, I wasn't trying.

This place was familiar but something was missing. I ran my hand up the bannister as I walked up the stairs to Lei's room. I felt like so many things were done here. Laughing, crying, and things I can't quite put my finger on. I ran my hand across a dresser that was painted red. It was like the only splash of any real color in the room. It had to have been mine at some point. There was jewelry, perfumes, and assorted art brushes for some reason…

"It looks clean and yet...looks like nothing may have ever moved. So, why is it so clean? Weird."

I ran my hand over the silver hairbrush and smiled. Now I knew the rose flower thing was a constant joke. There was a rose painted on the hairbrush and it just amused me. I then opened a few draws and picked a change of clothes. I didn't want to go home and I felt like this was the next best place to be.

Once I showered and changed clothes, I walked into his closet and ran my hand across his clothes. Guy owned a lot of sweaters...they all did to be honest. But Lei, he owned a lot of pale colors. There were a few other colors amongst the lot of cream and ivory shades. There were some lighter shades of blue, a few greens, one beautiful emerald like Meizuo's favorite sweater, a few grays here and there, and some shades of red, most likely from me. I shook my head as I looked around. It was so neat in here. It was almost disgusting.

I chuckled to myself as I pulled a white album with a rose in its spine from the shelf he had other albums on. It would appear that Dao was not kidding. If two of my four boys had an album, then they all did. I flipped through it as I walked out and sat on his bed. The white sheets and the white comforter killed me as I laid down on my stomach. I hate white…

Lei's photo album contained some of the same photos as Meizuo's but Lei also had pictures of us playing on the piano together and some with me playing a...harp…

"No way...I've always thought I could play one but I guess I really can play a heart."

I grinned as I continued to flip. But as we got older, some of the photos became a little more...I guess the word would be...romantic? There were pictures of us napping together, holding hands, and us just not having any personal space with each other. The last picture was of the two of us kissing on a beach...in wedding attire?

I pulled the picture out and flipped it over. It was the summer before I went missing and I smiled as I read the description.

[Wedding photo competition. Couple entry number six. Second place winners. Rose was just excited to the bone. We had so much fun even if it wasn't real...but I find myself wondering what it would be like if it were. I love her but I don't deserve her.]

I frowned as I put the picture back. We looked happy but he pushed me away. I was just wondering why at this point. Had I done or said something that would have led him to push me away like that. I know what he said the last time I saw him but...things just weren't making any sense to me. I laid under the covers as I laid the album on the table beside the bed. I held onto his pillow as I tried to call Lei one more time. When he didn't answer, I left him a voicemail, telling him everything that had happened and I told him the entire truth hoping he would believe me. I hung it up when I was done and checked my Weibo account one last time. The comments had escalated at this point. Not true death threats per say but damn near close enough. Wishing death on someone is just as bad. I closed my eyes as I started crying again. I closed Weibo and set my phone on the table beside the bed as clung to Lei's pillow. Meizuo and Ximen may have been on my side but for how long?

I had nothing to give these boys...they had everything. Me on the other hand? I didn't have much. Really, the only thing I had to lose that I even cared about was F4...and part of me felt like I was losing them one at time after just having gotten them back. I know I've cried a lot since I've gotten here and I swear I'm not usually this bad, but, maybe I used to be. I cried myself to sleep that night. Hoping tomorrow wouldn't be as bad as I thought it would be.

/\/\/\/\/\/\

I got up that next morning super confused for a few minutes before I realized that I was at Lei's house. I giggled to myself as I got up. How easy it was to forget where you are when you wake up from sleep like this. I changed clothes and slipped my shoes back on as I grabbed my bag. I sighed as I walked out and locked the door as I closed it behind me. Today was going to be a very long day…

When I got to class everyone was whispering and when I sat down, everyone bailed from around me. Fun times. The rest of my classes pretty much went that same way. Kai avoided me as well. The two girls I hit had swollen faces and refused to say who had done it, though I do believe most people knew. By the time I had gotten to lunch, I had had water poured on me, various amounts of other flavored drinks, and did I forget to mention that someone shoved me into the river? No? Well...that just happened. My phone, thankfully, was in my locker. I was on my way to go get it when someone pushed me to the low wall by the walkway and then grabbed my legs and dumped me into the river. I was wet and cold when I grabbed my stuff from my locker and headed to the gym.

I showered and changed clothes again and dried both my clothes and my hair under the hand dryers. This was the fun part of my day. I was just glad the gym was equipped like this. The one I was used to in the States was not. I rubbed my temples as my phone rang. I looked at it and smiled as I answered it.

[Hey Yaling. Long time no see.]

[Right?! How are you handling the amazingly hot scandal you're in?]

[You've seen Weibo have you?]

[Girl, I live on the internet. I know everything. It's not actually true is it?]

I sighed.

[What do you think?]

[Good. I was super concerned about that when I heard who took you. I can't believe you went out with those girls. What were you thinking?]

I rolled my eyes.

[I'm not even sure. They wanted to be friends but look where it's gotten me. Oh, and I knocked them out yesterday so stay alert. I might call you from lock up.]

[I would pay your bail faster than you can blink. I love you for doing that. Those girls need to be put in their places. I can't believe I missed that!]

I chuckled slightly as I gathered my things.

[Trust me, someone will post it. I can't stay out of trouble here.]

[I'd say. Once I'm able to come back, I'll stick with you. No one will get to you.]

[You sound like F4.]

[Good. It's the only good thing I've heard about them.]

[With as much as I've told you, that's the only good thing?]

I could hear her laugh.

[Fine. Fine. It's the only good thing I've heard recently.]

[I understand.]

[You plan on ever telling me what happened the other day when you bailed?]

[Oh, uh, nothing much…]

[Xue.]

[Yeah, yeah. I'll tell you when this mess blows over.]

[I get it. Call me if you need to.]

[Thanks, Yaling.]

[Bye girl.]

[Bye.]

I hung up the phone as I slipped on my gray jacket. I went back to my locker and put my bag back in it with my other clothes. At least I'd have them if I get wet again. I shook my head as I closed the door to my locker and walked off toward the cafeteria. On my way down the stairs someone called my name. When I got to the bottom, I looked up and someone poured paint water on me. I sighed really hard as I looked up at the two girls leaning over the top of the wall.

[That's for cheating on Daoming Si!]

[Yeah!]

They high fived as they walked off. I shook off as much water as I could before I noticed that boys were walking towards me. Ah Si came up to me first.

[Hey, Dao. What's up?]

He stared at me. He was angry. So very angry.

[The foreigner isn't really your friend, is he?]

I sighed lightly as I looked up at him.

Well...so much for him not knowing…

[You two went to a hotel, didn't you?]

[On a technicality, yes. But I didn't go because I wanted to. Nothing happened.]

I could see it on his face. Nothing I said would matter now.

[Dao, listen. The photos on Weibo are a misunderstanding.]

[Then why did you lie to me?]

I flinched. It didn't matter if I was drugged and left to a complete stranger to handle. The only thing that mattered to Ah Si, was that I lied to him.

I ran a hand down my face before looking up at him again.

[I'm used to other people thinking poorly of me, but please, Dao, not you too. Yes, I lied about who he was, but there is nothing between him and I. Nothing happened between us that night.]

Tears started to well up in my eyes as I stared at him. His expression softened for a second, so I kept going.

[Dao, please, I don't care if everyone else believes the rumors and doesn't believe a word I say, that's fine with me...as long as you don't. As long as you still trust me.]

Then all at once the softened look disappeared and an even angrier once replaced it. He scoffed at me at the same time he walked off. The tears I had been holding back just started to fall. Meizuo wrapped his arms around me.

[He'll come around, Rosie. Don't worry.]

I wiped my face with one hand and shoved Meizzie with the other.

[Leave me alone, Meizuo.]

[Rose...]

{WARNING}

I walked off as I shoved my hands into my jacket pockets. I didn't mean to sound rude to Meziuo but honestly, I just wanted to be alone. I grabbed food from the cafeteria as fast as I could and went up the roof. I sat on the wall as I ate. Staring down at the school below me was fun. My Weibo account had blown up with insults and death threats all day. I had been contemplating deleting it, but I hadn't made that decision yet. When I was done eating I turned around and hung upside down on the wall.

How easy it would be to just let go like this. To fall to the darkness and not deal with any of this any more.

{END OF WARNING}

I closed my eyes as I hung there.

I wouldn't do that to my boys. I couldn't.

They didn't need to suffer the same way twice. Besides, This is no different than hanging from a saddle. I just didn't have the floor beneath me.

Then, suddenly, I felt someone lean on my legs and I leaned up slightly to see Lei standing there.

[This isn't a handstand you know.]

I grinned as I started to lean back up. He grabbed a hold of my arm and pulled me to him as my feet hit the floor.

[Lei. I'm so happy to see you!]

I started sobbing into his sweater as he held me.

[I'm so happy to see you too, Rose.]

I squeezed him slightly as I cried.

[Now look who's the big baby.]

I smiled as I looked up at him. He grabbed both sides of cheeks and kissed my forehead as I closed my eyes.

[I know nothing happened, Rosie. Dao will come around.]

[You know he doesn't believe me?]

[Meizuo called me after I landed. They don't know I'm here. He just wanted me to call you. I came here instead and I've listened to all of your messages. I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner.]

[It's fine, Lei. I'm just glad you're here.]

I hugged him again and he stood there with me for a while. Just letting me feel safe for a change.

He patted my head as I pulled away from him.

[Why don't we go somewhere better?]

[Like?]

[How about we go see Yaling?]

[Sure! She'd love to see us!]

He smiled as he took my hand. I explained the situation a little more as we walked to my car. He listened all the way to Yalings house.

I parked the car and turned to him.

[And that's pretty much it. The whole thing is blowing up on Weibo like it's bubble gum. Meizuo and Ximen seem to believe me but Dao, he hates me.]

Lei nodded as he turned to me.

[Ah Si is a child when it comes to things like this. He's just throwing a tantrum because he thinks you're letting people think you're easy. He can't admit that you're a grown woman now.]

[And you can?]

He sighed as he looked at me.

[I know I've pushed you away a lot when we were growing up, but I've learned something recently and I've realized that loving someone out of habit isn't real love at all.]

[Did you and Jing have a falling out?]

[I don't really want to talk about it right now. I'll tell you more about later, okay?]

I nodded as he climbed out. I got out of the car just in time to see Yaling running out of the house and towards me. She ran into me and hugged me like no tomorrow.

[XUE! You should have told me you were coming! I would have put a kettle on!]

I giggled as I hugged her back.

[I know we just spoke but Lei wanted to see how you were doing.]

She looked at him as she smiled.

[Of course he did. Come on you two. We have lots of catching up to do.]

We followed her inside and sat on the couch as she handed us both a glass of water. I told Yaling about my date with Ah Si. Then I told her about the rest of it in detail. Lei was on his phone most of the time so I wasn't even sure he was listening. It didn't matter much. I needed Yaling and he knew that. Knew I was hard headed enough not to admit that I needed help. But I was worried about him. Something was wrong and he just wasn't telling me.

Yaling and I started studying later on once all of her questions were answered and Lei decided to play her piano while we did so.

[Hey, Yaling.]

[Hm?]

[When did you get the piano?]

[Oh that? I got it later on the same day you had your date with Daoming Si. It was a gift from my dad. He landed a contract with some company called Evervine Technologies. I wanted to learn to play ever since I was little but we couldn't afford a teacher let alone a piano. I did mention that you played so I guess he thought you could teach me if you had some time.]

I smiled at her.

[Sure. Between the drama in my personal life and the drama at school, I'll have to squeeze you in when there is a cancelation.]

She laughed and playfully punched my shoulder.

[Alright miss Drama Queen, I get it.]

[I am queen of nothing. Who's Evervine Tech?]

[I'm not sure. Dad says they're pretty popular overseas. They have modeling agencies, travel agencies, hotel chains, and have recently expanded into the oil business.]

[So what did the contract with your dad have in it?]

[I'm not sure. He's an interior decorator so I can only imagine he might have exclusive rights to designing some of the new office buildings.]

[Sounds pretty cool. I'll have to look into them when I have time.]

[You should. They have some of the most mesmerizing fashion shows known to man. I've been to one, I would know.]

We laughed together as I finished up my homework.

[You about done Yaling?]

[Yeah. Just let me finish this essay and I'll walk you out.]

[What? No tea party?]

[Shut it young one. I'll get you.]

[I'm shaking in my boots.]

[You're not wearing any.]

[My point exactly.]

[I hate you sometimes, Xue. I really do.]

I laughed again as she closed her laptop.

[I'm done.]

[Neat.]

Lei walked over as I stood up.

[Ready to go?]

I nodded as I gathered my things.

[I'm good to go. Thanks for letting us stay for a while Yaling.]

[Oh, sure! You guys are welcome over anytime. Even unannounced. I like having you here.]

I hugged her as Lei and I walked out. We got back into the car and I started driving to his house.

[Thank you, Lei.]

[For?]

[Coming back. Call is selfishness if you wish, but I really wanted you back. Things are just getting out of control. I even think I'm catching feelings for Meizuol.]

He gave me a very unhappy look and I started laughing.

[All's fair in love and war, Lei.]

[He's not right for you.]

[And Dao is?]

[More so than Meizuo. Besides, he prefers older girls.]

[Then why does he keep kissing me?]

Lei chewed the inside of his cheek as I pulled into his driveway. He spoke after I put the car in park.

[You have always taken comfort in knowing we love you no matter what happens. But there was a time when the only thing you would react to was a kiss.]

I turned to him as he crossed his arms.

[You are touchy, for a lack of a better word. You use physical interactions when you want to show your love and there for a time that was all you would believe in return. Dao and I wound up sharing your love at one time. Where we were the only ones you wanted to touch. But Meizuo was there when we couldn't be. So I guess, maybe, that it's just a hard habit to break since he hasn't met anyone that he would date seriously.]

I rolled my eyes.

[I'm starting to think that I'm better off alone the rest of my life.]

He looked at me and smiled.

[Come now, Rose. You know we'd never let you do that.]

[Why not?]

[Because we love you too much to do so.]

I sighed as I leaned my head against the headrest.

[Am I going to be able to hang out with you tomorrow?]

He shook his head.

[I still have some things to take care of. But I'll see you soon, okay?]

I nodded as he got out of the car.

[Go home and get some rest, Rosie.]

[Okay.]

We smiled at each other as he closed the door. I drove home with a heavy mind. Nothing said something was wrong much like I have things to take care of, does. I just hope he was okay. He seemed off but I couldn't put my finger on why.

~End of Episode 7 part 1~

---

There ya have it hope you liked it. If you did leave a review or simply leave me a thought about how the story is going.

Don't forget to let me know who you think Rose should choose.

~Leave some love~