Disclaimer: I own nothing that has to do with Uncharted or Gravity Falls.
Chapter 8: The Grave of Henry Avery
(Some time later, Dipper and Mabel stand on a hill by a cliffside in Scotland. They wear dark cargo pants and hiking shoes. Mabel wears a light-blue jacket. Dipper wears a dark-brown jacket and his hat. They're both equipped with guns, flashlights and grappling hooks. They look out at a large old cathedral in the distance behind a set of trees. A big construction crane is right next to it. They hear an explosion and see a big dust cloud appear around the cathedral.)
Mabel: Tyrone's really going all in, isn't he?
(Dipper looks through binoculars at the sight. He turns towards a set of small ruins some distance away from the church also behind some trees.)
Dipper: They're all concentrated around the cathedral, so that's good... because we are going to have that graveyard all to ourselves.
(He then looks down at the sea and spots a seaplane sitting in the water by the cliffs. He speaks through a radio communicator.)
Dipper: Stan?
Stan: (through radio) Yeah?
Dipper: We're good to go here.
(Stan sits inside the plane on the other radio.)
Stan: (through radio) Okay, kid. Happy hunting.
Dipper: Last chance to come with.
Stan: (through radio) Yeah, well, unless you can find me an escalator, I think I'll pass.
Dipper: Alright. We'll see you in a few.
Stan: (through radio) Just be careful and bring me back something shiny, will ya?
Dipper: That's the plan.
(He puts the radio away and he and his sister start walking down the hill.)
Mabel: Let's go pay our respects to Captain Avery, huh?
(They head in the direction of the graveyard.)
Mabel: A Scottish cathedral. Strange place to bury your treasure, no?
Dipper: Not really. I mean, by the time Avery would've sailed here, the place was already abandoned.
Mabel: I guess that's true. Plus, with the massive bounty on his head... it'd be a good place to hide. (curious) So... after you and Tyrone escaped the prison, what happened between you two?
Dipper: Oh, I couldn't deal with him and I'm pretty sure he'd had enough of me. I was still coming to grips with your supposed "death," and with his frustration from not finding the treasure... I'm pretty sure he was ready to kill me by the time I bailed.
Mabel: (smirks) Ha. Imagine what he'd want to do to you now.
Dipper: Yeah. Trying not to. (serious) Mabel, listen. He's ruthless. Even more so than when we teamed up with him. I mean, I've heard stories.
Mabel: Trust me, me too. All the more reason I don't feel bad about any of this. So is it just like you remember it?
Dipper: The cathedral grounds? Pretty much. Although it's been so long, it's a little hazy.
(They hear another explosion from the church.)
Mabel: The crane and explosives, I think stealing the cross made our boy Tyrone a little nervous.
Dipper: Yeah. Just a tad. (chuckles) Y'know, it must've been a shock for Avery to come here after living in the tropics for so long.
Mabel: I can sympathize with that. You have no idea how much I missed the cold.
(They keep going until they reach a ledge above a small gorge.)
Mabel: (whistles) It's a long drop.
(Dipper finds an old tree trunk and wraps his hook around its big branch.)
Dipper: Hey, this should hold.
Mabel: Good call.
(He rappels down and Mabel follows. After unhooking their ropes, they find some crates and barrels in front of them.)
Dipper: What the hell is all this?
Mabel: Excavation equipment.
(Dipper reads the name on the containers.)
Dipper: Shoreline? I thought they were just by the cathedral.
Mercenary: Look, they're here!
Mabel: (alarmed) Oh, shit, get down!
(They take cover as Shoreline mercenaries comes into the gorge and fire at them. After a brief fight, the twins defeat their attackers.)
Mabel: We're good.
Dipper: Yeah, nice to meet you too, Shoreline. Seems like they were expecting us.
Mabel: And like they're searching away from the cathedral.
Dipper: Which means we should get to that graveyard, pronto.
(They exit the gorge and continue across the landscape.)
Mabel: So why didn't you guys search beyond the cathedral?
Dipper: We did. But this place is so big, we didn't know where to look. It's like shooting in the dark.
(Another explosion occurs in the distance.)
Mabel: Or like blowing shit up in the dark.
(They come to the ruins of some small stone houses. A wooden gate is behind them.)
Mabel: What is this place?
Dipper: The monks had several living quarters. The main one being by the graveyard, of course.
Mabel: Location, location, location.
(They find more crates and barrels around the ruins.)
Mabel: More Shoreline equipment.
Dipper: At least no Shoreliners.
(Dipper finds a small box on a crate and opens it. Inside are red sticks with fuses.)
Dipper: Now what do you bet... Yep. Dynamite.
(He takes one out and Mabel lights it with her lighter. Dipper quickly tosses it to the wooden gate and blows it open.)
Dipper: There ya go. Take that, door.
Mabel: Hopefully, that blended in with the other explosions. You're pretty good with that stuff.
Dipper: Well I've blown a lot of shit up over the years.
(They look through the interior of the gate and see an opening with a ledge.)
Mabel: We can get out through the roof.
(Dipper finds a crate with wheels and pushes it through the gate and under the opening.)
Dipper: C'mon, let's go.
(They climb up to another level where there's a gap under a cliff. Dipper swings his hook up and latches it on the cliff. He swings across the gap.)
Mabel: Whoa, careful.
(He grabs the side of the cliff wall and pulls his rope back to him. He spots a big tree branch sticking out above.)
Dipper: I can hook that.
(He throws his hook up and it grapples onto the branch. Then he scales the wall and swings over to a higher ledge.)
Dipper: Alright, you think you can do that?
Mabel: What are you talking about? I taught you that move!
Dipper: Well, let's see it then.
(Mabel does the same thing he does.)
Mabel: There, you see?
Dipper: (shrugs) That was clumsy.
(Mabel rolls her eyes as Dipper looks up to the next ledge and sees half a rope ladder hanging down.)
Dipper: Mabel, there's a ladder just out of reach.
Mabel: Gimme a boost.
(He crouches down and lifts her up. She gets on the ledge and reaches down.)
Mabel: C'mere. I'll pull you up.
Dipper: Ah, thanks.
(She helps him up and they proceed on the path. They see the ruins not too far off.)
Dipper: There it is. The monks' dorm. Just a hop, skip, and a jump away.
Mabel: Ah, don't jinx us.
(In front of them is a big slope covered in gravel and small rocks.)
Dipper: Down we go.
(They gets down slides down the slope.)
Dipper: Whoo, burns a little.
Mabel: (laughs) Well, those are fun. I can do this all day.
(They get to the bottom where a field of tall grass is. They hear voices in front of them.)
Dipper: Shh. Quiet.
(They hide in the grass as some Shoreline mercs walk past them.)
Mercenary 1: You think those guys Tambry told us about are coming here?
Mercenary 2: If they are, Tyrone's paying us double to wipe them out.
Mercenary 1: Well, you go where the money leads you.
Dipper: (whispers) You get left, I got right.
(They sneak up behind the mercs and knock them out.)
Mabel: Gonna have to do better than that, fellas.
Dipper: Let's see if we can keep this up.
(They approach a small set of ruins where more Shoreline men patrol.)
Mercenary 1: You two done prepping the site? The cemetery is ready for Rich Boy's visit.
Mercenary 2: They're not slowing down, are they?
Mercenary 1: Boss lady wants results and she wanted them yesterday.
Mercenary 2: Have they found anything?
Mercenary 1: Heard they uncovered some stuff... but I don't know the details.
(The twins move stealthily between the tall grass and behind the ruined structures. They get past their enemies and away from the site.)
Dipper: Did you see that? Like a ninja.
Mabel: Pretty slick, bro-bro. Pretty slick.
(They get to another gap between cliffs and cross it. They see the a wall of an old ruin up on a higher ledge.)
Dipper: Right beyond those walls.
(They slide down another gravel slope and hear some more voices ahead.)
Mabel: (whispers) More goons.
(They hides as two mercenaries appear.)
Mercenary 1: Where does that rich asshole get off? I nearly blew my goddamn arms off only to get chewed out by that prick! I shoulda popped him.
Mercenary 2: The guy's fronting our entire crew. What do you think Tambry would do to you?
Mercenary 1: I was following her order.
Mercenary 2: She'd still turn you inside out. Go walk it off.
Mercenary 1: (sighs) So, you think Drake's gonna show up?
Mercenary 1: Tambry seems to think so. I'd love to see him and his crew make an appearance.
Mercenary 2: That goes for all of us.
(Ironically, Dipper and Mabel then make themselves known and quickly take them out.)
Mabel: Let's keep going.
(They get higher up the cliffside and reach a damaged bridge over a slope.)
Dipper: Mabel, this way!
(He slides into the slope and tries to go straight to slide across and not down.)
Dipper: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
(He makes it across. Mabel tries to do the same.)
Mabel: Okay, if he did it, I can do it.
(She makes it too. Then continue heading up to the wall.)
Mabel: (chuckles) It's better than bungee jumping.
Dipper: Have you ever been bungee jumping?
Mabel: No, but I'm sure this is better. So, this is what you've been up to all these years? Jumping around ruins?
Dipper: Yeah. That and... getting shot at. Blown up. Punched. Kicked. Knifed. Drugged.
Mabel: Alright, I get it.
(They get high enough to cross the ravine and get to the wall on the other side which they do with their hooks.)
Dipper: Whew. I hope we're done sliding for a while. My ass is full of gravel.
Mabel: Y'know, when we find the treasure, the first thing I'm gonna do with my share is get a military-grade grappling hook gun. It's way more efficient than these hooks with ropes.
Dipper: (laughs) Alright, come on.
(They lift up the door in the wall of the ruins and get through. Inside, they see dozens of large fancy gravestones.)
Dipper: And we're here.
Mabel: (laughs) Yes we are. Look at this place.
Dipper: Welcome to the Saint Dismas dormitory... alleged final resting place of one Henry Avery.
Mabel: (proudly) Let's find that grave.
(They start to look around. Mabel finds a gravestone with pirate swords on it.)
Mabel: Hey, Dipper. Check it out. This one's got a pair of cutlasses. Just like the scroll from the cross.
Dipper: But the dates aren't right.
Mabel: Well... one down and... a hell of a lot to go.
(Dipper takes out the scroll and examines the gravestone image on it.)
Dipper: Okay... we need crossed cutlasses, skull and crossbones, and the dates 1659 to 1699. We find a tombstone with all three and we're in business.
Mabel: Well... let's desecrate some graves.
(They take some time examining each grave until Dipper finds one near the back with cutlasses and a skull and crossbones. He also sees the correct dates and the name "Benjamin Bridgeman" carved on it.)
Dipper: Swords are a match. So is the year... Mabel, c'mere.
Mabel: Did you find it?
Dipper: Look. Benjamin Bridgeman.
Mabel: That's Avery's alias. Must be it.
(Dipper looks closely at the skull on the gravestone which is facing in front.)
Dipper: (curious) Something odd about this skull though. It's like it doesn't belong to the stone.
Mabel: Well yeah, what's odd about it is... that's not Avery's sigil.
Dipper: Oh, yeah... I mean, the skull should be facing...
(They both realize something.)
Mabel and Dipper: (in unison) Sideways.
(Dipper pushes on the skull and it turns to its side. They hear a creaking noise below them.)
Mabel: What is that?
(The ground opens up next to the grave and a stone staircase appears.)
Mabel: (amazed) Oh, my God.
Dipper: (laughs) You ready for this?
Mabel: (confident) Oh, I've been ready for a long time.
Dipper: Let's see what we got...
(They go down the stairs and enter a dark crypt.)
Dipper: It's a crypt.
Mabel: A crypt, hidden behind a secret door?
Dipper: I assume the secret door was added afterwards.
Mabel: To hide his loot.
Dipper: Well, fingers crossed.
(They come to a wide area where statues of figures on crosses are on a wall.)
Dipper: Whoa, the gang's all here. Jesus... Dismas on the left...
Mabel: Penitent thief.
Dipper: Gestas on the right...
Mabel: Jerk thief.
Dipper: (laughs) Avery sure had a thing for Saint Dismas, huh?
Mabel: Well, Avery fancied himself a "good thief," right? Only plundered and murdered the non-British heathens.
Dipper: Guess that's what passed for "good" back then.
Mabel: Good enough.
(They go through an opening next to the wall and find a large door with some star patterns on it.)
Dipper: Is this a door? Looks like a door.
Mabel: Don't see a way to open it though. What are these star symbols?
(Dipper looks behind them and finds a lamp on the wall facing the door.)
Dipper: Some kind of lamp. Hey, smokey, need your lighter over here.
Mabel: (slightly offended) You know, that hurts my feelings.
Dipper: Not as much as it hurts your lungs.
Mabel: (sarcastically) Thank you, Father Duffy.
(She lights the lamp and it sends a trail of flames through the wall which shines some beams of light on the door.)
Dipper: Well, isn't that something?
Mabel: Huh. The light's coming from the other side of the wall.
(They go back to the statues. Dipper finds holes and wheels under them and looks through. He sees the door with the lights on it and they move when he turns the wheels.)
Dipper: Alright, let's see here. I can aim the lights.
Mabel: I'm loving this.
(He matches the beams up to the stars on the door from all three statues. Soon, they're all in place.)
Mabel: That's it! You got it!
(They go back to the door and see lines connecting the stars.)
Mabel: Looks like a constellation.
Dipper: Yeah. That's Libra, the scales of justice.
Mabel: Interesting choice for a bunch of pirates.
Dipper: Okay. Let's give this a shot.
(He finds a crank on the door lit up and turns it. The door opens wide.)
Mabel: (chuckles) Open sesame.
Dipper: Wrong treasure.
Mabel: Shush.
(On the other side is a big stain glass window with a smaller circular glass in the middle.)
Mabel: Well, nice view. (disappointed) No treasure though.
(Dipper looks thought the circle and sees a cliffside in the distance with some big crosses standing on it. Markings on the glass line up with the crosses from the view as well as a cave below the crosses.)
Dipper: No, but... you see those crosses?
Mabel: Oh, yeah. Hey, is that a cave right below?
Dipper: Yeah, I think Avery's trying to tell where to go next. There's one problem though. Going back that way n ans we have to go back toward the cathedral.
Mabel: And back towards Tyrone. (sighs) Well, let's not keep him waiting.
(They go back through the crypt out in the graveyard. They find several mercenaries swarming then place and take cover.)
Mercenary: Spread out! You know the drill.
Dipper: Shit!
Mabel: Well, this should be fun!
(Another gunfight ensues. The twins fight as best they can. Mabel notices Dipper fighting better than she remembered.)
Mabel: Picked up some new tricks, I see!
(Before long, they clear the area and start heading for a gate on the other side of the graveyard.)
Dipper: Okay. I think we're clear.
Mabel: Well... that could've gone better.
Dipper: Hey, well... we're still breathing. That's good enough.
(They go through the gate, which was opened by the mercenaries, and proceed along the cliffside.)
Dipper: How you holding up?
Mabel: (chuckles) Great. Was kinda hoping to find the treasure back there, but... you know, it's never that easy, right?
Dipper: (smiles) That's been my experience.
Mabel: Plus there was that cool constellation thing.
Dipper: Yeah it was cool.
(They get to a ledge and see the cave under one of the big crosses from across a wide ravine.)
Dipper: Right under that high cross. That's there Avery wants us.
Mabel: Well, what Avery wants, Avery gets.
(They continue along the ledge as Stan calls from the radio.)
Stan: (through radio) Kid? What's your status?
Dipper: Hey, Stan. We're on the trail, but the treasure's closer to the cathedral than we originally thought.
Stan: (through radio) Oh, boy. So what do you need me to do?
Dipper: Well, just keep those engines warm. We'll be back before too long.
Stan: (through radio) You got it. Keep me posted.
Dipper: Will do.
(They move forward and spot some more Shoreline men on the cliffs.)
Mabel: Patrol up ahead.
Dipper: I see 'em.
(They sneak through a passage in the cliff wall and get past the patrol.)
Mabel: I guess there's no getting away from these guys.
Dipper: Yeah, and there'll only be more as we get closer to the cathedral.
(They find another rope ladder on an upper ledge.)
Dipper: Come on, I'll boost you up there.
(He lifts his sister up to it. She tries reaching down.)
Mabel: I'm too high to reach you. Hang on a sec.
Dipper: Hanging.
(She jumps to another ledge where some large wooden poles are.)
Mabel: Let me see what's by that wooden structure over there. Hey, I got something.
(She then lifts a heavy wooden log and places it between the poles.)
Mabel: There. That'll support even your weight.
Dipper: Ah. Thank you.
(He uses his hook to grapple the log and pull himself up.)
Mabel: Hey, you don't think the monks built this?
Dipper: No way. It's some kind of pulley system.
Mabel: To lift a whole bunch of treasure?
Dipper: To lift something... (enthused) I can't believe I missed this.
Mabel: Clearly were meant to find it together.
Dipper: (sarcastically) Awww. So romantic.
(Dipper uses his rope again to swing to another cliff across a gorge.)
Dipper: Hey, we can climb this!
Mabel: On my way.
(He gets to another ledge where there's another gravel slope. This one goes around a corner on a cliff. He starts sliding down.)
Dipper: (nervous) Okay... maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Aaahhh!
(He quickly turns himself down the slope so he doesn't fall into the sea and jumps to the next cliff wall. He breaths in relief.)
Dipper: Be careful coming around the corner!
Mabel: Incoming!
(Mabel does the same as him and reaches the wall as well.)
Mabel: (laughs) That was amazing.
Dipper: Well, save your strength. We're not done yet.
Mabel: Just lead the way.
(They scale the wall into a trench underneath the cliffside. Dipper slides down another slope and jumps to another wall. The ledge he grabs onto breaks and he falls before grabbing a lower ledge. Mabel jumps to the ledge above him.)
Mabel: Dipper?
Dipper: Down here! The cliff thing broke!
Mabel: There's a ladder on the other side!
(He follows the ledge over to the wooden ladder.)
Mabel: Gotta say, you have a real knack for breaking things. Especially cliffs.
Dipper: Tell me about it.
(He grabs the ladder but it falls right off.)
Dipper: (upset) Ah! For God's sake!
Mabel: You okay?!
Dipper: Yeah...
Mabel: Like I was just saying...
Dipper: Yeah, yeah, yeah...
(Mabel starts crossing a short wooden bridge connecting the sides of the trench.)
Mabel: Alright, hold on. I'll see if there's another-
(The bridge starts to collapse.)
Mabel: (started) Oh, shit!
Dipper: Mabel!
(She jumps to other side as the bridge falls into the water.)
Dipper: (teasingly) I guess it runs in the family, huh?
Mabel: (laughs) Maybe so.
(They climb their respective sides of the cliff wall and get back up to the cliffside above the trench.)
Mabel: I can't feel my hands... I think my blood thinned out or something after all those years in Panama.
Dipper: Don't worry. Worst case, you could lose a couple fingers.
(Mabel gets up and then helps her brother back up.)
Mabel: There ya go. Where would you be without me, huh?
Dipper: Uh, probably at home... drinking hot cocoa.
Mabel: (scoffs) What are you, five?
Dipper: Oh, tell me you wouldn't go for some hot cocoa right now.
Mabel: Well, I mean... yeah.
Dipper: Exactly. Here we go.
(They go past one of the big crosses and drop down to a lower ledge. They hear voices and an explosion.)
Mercenary 1: Fire in the hole!
(They duck down and see another Shoreline patrol in the area.)
Mercenary 1: How we lookin'?
Mercenary 2: Still some debris blocking the way in. We can't get all the way through.
Mercenary 1: That was the last of the dynamite.
Mercenary 2: Next patrol will bring more by. Just sit tight.
(There's no way to sneak past them this time so they take them out as fast as they can. Then they head towards the tunnel that Shoreline was trying to clear out.)
Mabel: Okay. We're clear.
Dipper: Let's hope we're done with these idiots.
Mabel: Heh. Yeah.
(They enter the narrow tunnel and get past the debris.)
Dipper: Hey, careful... might be unstable after the blast.
Mabel: (bewildered) Who does excavation with dynamite?
Dipper: Mercenaries. You'd think Tyrone would know better though.
(They get to a big wooden beam blocking their path.)
Dipper: Hey, Mabel. Help me with this.
Mabel: Whoa. What if it's the only thing holding the tunnel up?
Dipper: Then I'll apologize.
Mabel: Alright.
(They lift it up slowly and go under it.)
Dipper: There, see? No problem.
Mabel: Yeah, for once.
(They exit the tunnel and find a wide gap with some narrow wooden beams going across.)
Mabel: Those things look sturdy to you?
Dipper: Sturdy enough. Be extra careful on these. (nearly trips) Oh, crap!
Mabel: Remember, "extra careful?"
(They make it across.)
Dipper: Okay, we're good.
(They finally reach the cave entrance on the cliffside. Since they left the graveyard, it got foggy, the wind started howling, and snow started blowing around. Stan calls again.)
Stan: (through radio) Kid, storm's picking up. How's it looking?
Dipper: We're about to head into the cave.
Stan: (through radio) The cave?
Dipper: Yeah... might lose contact for a bit. Don't get too worried.
Stan: (through radio) Alright, I'll keep the porch light on for ya.
Dipper: Call you soon.
Mabel: (laughs) We made it. It's quite the detour.
Dipper: Let's go see what Avery left for us.
Mabel: Yes please. (scoffs) Those Shoreline assholes were right next to this cave.
Dipper: Yeah, but I think we're the first ones in here.
(They enter the cave with their flashlights out and get a little far in before going through a narrow passage.)
Dipper: Glad I didn't eat a big breakfast.
(On the other side are statues on the sides and stairs carved in the floor.)
Mabel: Creepy St. Dismas statutes, check.
Dipper: Carved stairs, check.
Mabel: Dipper, I think it's safe to say we're in a pirate cave.
(They find what appears to be some kind of door with a hole next to it.)
Mabel: Oh... is that a door?
Dipper: It sure looks like it. Check this out.
(He reaches into the hole.)
Dipper: A little slimy. There's a handle in here or something.
Mabel: Well, give it a pull.
Dipper: (concerned) What? Could be a trap.
Mabel: You're already in there. What's the worst that can happen?
Dipper: Uh, I lose my hand?
Mabel: (assuringly) So we'll get you a nice hook. Give it a pull.
Dipper: (sighs) Nice hook. Alright, here we go.
(He pulls the lever and the door opens. Mabel smiles but then Dipper wipes his hand on her jacket.)
Mabel: (annoyed) Really?
(They go through and enter a room with more statues on the walls and cages hanging from the ceiling. Some of them have skeletons in them.)
Dipper: Hello, hello.
Mabel: (whistles) Pretty interesting decor.
(Dipper finds a hanging sign and reads it.)
Dipper: "For those who prove worthy, Paradise awaits... To those who prove false, behold your grim fate."
Mabel: (chuckles) Well, I guess Avery was a better pirate than a poet.
Dipper: (confused) This... this isn't Avery's.
Mabel: (confused) What do you mean?
Dipper: Look.
(They see an image of a muscular hand holding a cutlass on the sign below the writing.)
Mabel: It's the sigil of the Rhode Island Pirate.
Dipper: Thomas Tew.
Mabel: But... it can't be him. I mean, this is clearly his sigil, but Tew died attacking the same treasure fleet as Avery.
Dipper: Yeah, well at least that's what the stories tell us.
Mabel: If this really is Tew's mark... then that means he's involved in all of this... how?
Dipper: That's a damn good question.
The twins' banter is one of the best parts about this story, isn't it?