Lying on the Moon
Well… this isn't going well.
Clover sighed, sipping his water as he peered at the young figure seated at the table across from him, their big blue eyes curious and engaged, sparkling almost as brightly as their smile. The ambiance of this small eatery was comfortable, warm; twinkling fairy lights strung up along the walls cast a cozy, almost ethereal glow across the room, the gentle candlelight emanating from each table adding that extra bit of magic. Couples seated across from one another shared food and laughter; everyone else seemed happy.
Clover should have been happy. On all accounts, his date was wonderful- funny, attractive, sweet, welcoming. Not deterred by his recent divorce. Clearly looking for something more than just a fling.
But why, pray tell, had Qrow gotten him a date with a man?!
"So, Clover," Marrow murmured, leaning forward with a playful grin, "tell me more about your clients! Your job seems so interesting."
His smile was more forced than ever, but he was quick to turn it around on the younger. "Why don't you tell me about yourself, Marrow?" he murmured in a tone of voice which he hoped was inviting. He had never even considered dating a man before, so to see that this was the kind of person Qrow had matched him up with (although, if he was being honest, he genuinely did think that Marrow was cute in all his wide-eyed, unabashed earnestness) was baffling, and he had no idea how to appear attractive to someone who clearly knew what they wanted despite their youth.
In reality, Clover's words came out clumsy, but thankfully, Marrow took the bait; he leaned forward as they waited for their meal, happy to launch onto a tirade about his new job as a secretary for a small security technologies firm. If nothing else, Clover was grateful for Marrow's enthusiasm, for it was far easier to smile and nod, asking engaging questions whenever there was a lull, than it was for Clover to figure out something meaningful to say about himself. What could he possibly say? I just divorced my wife who's probably far better off without me? I've been a mess for months since I found out she wanted to leave me? The only person I talk to regularly is an AI who sets my alarms- and makes dating profiles without me knowing- rather than an actual, living person?!
Yet, somehow, Clover made it through dinner just fine. Marrow looked delighted, happily taking the bigger half of the desert which Clover had ordered for them; he ate with such gusto and relish that Clover felt full by merely looking at him. It was a gentle feeling, the warmth which spread across his body as he listened to the younger man express his emotions with a range that Clover could only ever find through writing.
But warmth did not equal desire, and by the end of the night, Clover was at a loss. In his head, he knew that the next step would be to either invite Marrow out again- he wouldn't mind seeing the younger again, he was so sweet- or to invite him back to Clover's apartment.
Marrow was a step ahead of him, shyly grabbing his hand as they stepped out of the eatery. "Should we," he murmured, lacing their fingers together, "go to my place, or yours?" The elder had no time to respond as Marrow dragged him to the side, pulling Clover in for a kiss. The contact was brief, intense, passionate; Marrow moved with a skill and grace that was completely unexpected in comparison to his sweet demeanor, his blue eyes glittering in the evening light as they pulled apart, panting for air.
"What's your pick, Clover? I'm happy with whatever," Marrow beamed, the desire in his eyes the opposite of the innocence of his smile.
For a moment, Clover simply paused, taking a moment to get emotionally back to his feet. Then, as Marrow's proposition finally sank into his brain, Clover blanched at the very thought of someone coming into his apartment, a sudden wave of emotion crashing over him with such torrential force that he could not even breathe. Someone else other than Robyn walking into the home he had shared with her- someone else in their bed-
He couldn't do it. He just couldn't.
Sighing in frustration and shame, he swallowed back bitter tears which pricked the back of his eyes. "I- I'm sorry, Marrow," he said softly. "If you'd like to meet up again, I'd be happy to get dinner, but-"
To his surprise, there was no anger on Marrow's face; instead, the young man merely smiled, his exuberance fading, only to be replaced by a tender understanding. "That's totally okay!" he replied, squeezing Clover's hand before releasing it. The light from within the eatery shone out onto the street, causing his dark skin to almost glow gold as he added, "But be warned- I'm going to drag your little depressed heart out to eat with me some more, so you better get ready for that!"
The relief was palpable, tension draining from his shoulders instantly. He grinned, tucking his hands into his pockets, heart swelling with gratitude. "I'd like that," he smiled.
And just like that, he walked the younger off to the station before heading back to his own home, cheeks flushed from embarrassment and flustered, unexpected want- who would have thought he wouldn't mind a kiss from a man like this?- but his core was warm, thankful. The understanding in Marrow's eyes was more than he could have ever hoped for, after all.
The moment he walked into his apartment, the PA system flickered on, holoscreens coming to life to project Qrow's torso into the air. "So, how was it, Clover?" he asked, red eyes glinting with curiosity. "Where is your date? I was under the impression that dates usually continued in one party's home after the dinner portion. Was something not to your liking?"
"No! No, it's not that. He was great. I saw him to the station, then I came home, and that was that," Clover replied, exhaustion finally setting in now that he was back in his warm apartment. He hung up his coat by the door as he added, "Besides, even if I did invite him over, what would we have done? I've never been with a man before."
Strangely enough, Qrow's face lit up in surprise. "Oh- really? I left your profile for everyone, as I thought you-"
"I've only ever been with Robyn," he replied tiredly, shuffling into his bathroom to clean up for bed. The combined effort of having to get dressed up, to preparing mentally for dinner, to the actual date itself, had left him exhausted, and all he wanted to do was get back into bed. "We just ended up dating by chance in high school, and we never let go when we should've, I guess. I just-" Clover sighed, running his hands through his hair. "I don't know how to do this."
"Did it go well?"
Clover smiled, beaming at the image projected upon the terminal beside his bedroom door. "Yeah. He was a good guy. We even-" Then, he flushed, suddenly recalling the intensity of their kiss at the end.
Qrow's brow quirked upwards. "Everything alright?"
"Yeah," Clover breathed, mentally tamping down on a suddenly-conjured image of Marrow in his mind that was far from innocent; and, for the first time in months, that night, Clover felt desire. He didn't want it in reality- the image of another in his apartment still left him feeling sick- but the fantasy…
He felt alive.
And Qrow was to thank for it all.