Hello everyone! It's time for chapter fifteen and, speaking of fifteen. Act two is going to be longer than act one, I'm thinking at least fifteen chapters. I'm trying to move more slowly with act two, contrasting the rapid action of the Clone Wars with the tension of the galaxy under Palpatine. I was quick with the revelation that Palpatine is Sidious and well, I kind of had to be, after all, we all know that and I already milked the dramatic irony for all of act one, but I kind of want to slowly pepper in the lore of both Taaszon and the Empire from here on out. In any case, act two is going to be longer than act one, however, I am still going to finish it before this story goes on hiatus, if this story goes on hiatus again, that is. So yes, that's the pacing and business announcements for today, here's chapter fifteen. We pick up with Zaliza after she and Phanza return to Castle Attam.
Potentially triggering chapter by the way, Zaliza is really depressed here and she can sound a bit suicidal at times.
Secrets of The Outer Rim.
Act II.
The Heart of Darkness.
Chapter XV.
The Plight of The Survivors.
I had wanted to actively pursue reforming the Jedi and learning about Phanza's philosophy during my time on Taaszon, sick of being so idle, so useless after Order 66. That was before Nar Shaddaa though, finding out that the Inquisitors were survivors of Order 66 forced to serve the Empire...that broke me. I suppose I should have taken that as a motivator, accentuating how unique and privileged my position was - I could actually do something to rebuild the Jedi when no one else could - or, even just personally, giving me someone worth fighting for, but I just couldn't do it. Ullara was dead, I've killed maybe a dozen clones, including ones who I considered close allies and even friends, and now, on top of all that, my best friend was turned into a tool of the Dark Side. How am I supposed to keep going? The only person who believes in me at this stage is a Sith Lord, and, while I'm thankful for everything that Phanza has done for me, it just isn't enough.
The whole galaxy has fallen and I don't know why I'm still alive, I don't even know if I want to be at this stage. Phanza promised to help me save Thonna Ai'sunn when the opportunity presents itself, but how are we even going to do that? She doesn't have hope, she's been crushed by Palpatine, how can I convince her to resist and fight when, at this stage, I can barely resist and fight? I was tired, I was exhausted, and I was defeated.
Thus, I found myself sat in my bedroom in Castle Attam. It was a room entirely too large and luxurious for a Jedi, it was a place that I didn't deserve, and I was completely apathetic about it. I didn't resist as my lifestyle became less and less like the Jedi with every passing day. I didn't live off of rations anymore, once or twice a day I would simply go to one of the kitchens in the palace and prepare myself a meal, helper droids doing anything I couldn't do myself. I didn't maintain and mend my own robes anymore - in fact, today, I was wearing a black, red, and silver robe I haven't even touched before - the droids did that too. The biggest mark against me, showing how far I've strayed from Jedi life, was that I was even falling out of practice.
For all the time that Phanza trained with her bodyguards or meditated, I wasn't doing any of that. I didn't want to train or tap into the Force, I was afraid of being reminded of the Jedi Order. I was scared of having to think about all the Jedi I trained alongside, about the younglings who came through the ranks after me, and the masters who taught us, I couldn't bare to think that every one of them was dead, if not worse. Chief among them, of course, was Master Avdune. All the times we trained together, all the times that we fought together...if I so much as did a maneuver I learned from her I would be instantly reminded of how my master sacrificed herself for me. Why did she have to do that? Now I have to live with the memories, the guilt, the terrible feeling that every moment that I'm alive is a waste. It was a brutal cycle, because with every moment I did nothing, I was reminded of the fact that Ullara died so I could sit here wallowing in misery, but that realization would only make me more miserable, more inactive, more pathetic.
That brought up another thing, mainly, what happened before the sacrifice. Why did Ullara kiss me before she sacrificed herself? The pragmatic option was to say it was just to surprise me so she could shut me up and Force Push me away, making sure I got away before we were both overwhelmed by clones, but the real explanation was better than that, even I knew that. I don't exactly have anything to compare it to, but there was meaning behind that kiss, at least I would like to think there was, and the fact that I was now left with this mystery only made me miss Ullara even more. My Master told me about the Pantoran girl, so I knew she was attracted to women and that she had historically struggled with that part of the Jedi lifestyle, but she seemed past that. As far as I could tell, there was no hint that Ullara was attracted to me in any way, no hint that I picked up upon anyway. The kiss just came out of nowhere from my perspective.
I sighed and dug the old Republic holocommunicator out of my robe, one of the few leftover relics of my time as a Jedi. I didn't dare make a call to anyone, least of all people who I expected could have survived - the Empire and the Inquisitors would no doubt catch any holocom activity on the old Republic lines - but I did do one thing. I pulled up an old head-to-toe image of Master Avdune. The blue holographic form of the Mirialan appeared before me, dressed in her usual robes, elegant with her lightsaber at the hip. Ullara was the ideal Jedi - young, talented, an excellent duelist in a time of war, and a calm and compassionate person at the same time. She was beautiful too, but modest. No offense to Master Secura - the last thing I want to do is insult a dead Jedi who I knew - but she showed off her beauty and her looks, Ullara never did, she never had to. I looked longingly at the hologram, missing my master, missing my old life, and, in the corner of the room, I heard a long, sad whine from R9...his way of mourning I suppose. I called the droid over and wrapped my arm around his metal dome, the closest thing I could give to a hug right now. He was cold, metal, and couldn't speak, but that didn't really matter, he was something.
"I miss her too buddy, I miss her too." I whispered to the droid, getting a series of beeps in reply. They sounded comforting, for what it's worth, but this wasn't real companionship either. Phanza could speak to me and promise to do everything she can to make things better and R9 may have experienced a lot of what I experienced at the end of the war, but neither of them really understood what I was going through. I knew that Phanza was absolutely right about a lot of the things she said about the Jedi and the Republic, but that doesn't mean it's what I want to hear right now. I know the Jedi are flawed, I know that the Republic fell perfectly into Palpatine's trap, but right now, I need reassurance, i need support.
Phanza finally pressured me to leave my room later that day, calling me to the library. I figured that Phanza sensed my emotional melancholy this morning and has been trying to figure out a way to help me feel better. Evidently, the Nautolan woman realized that her words of encouragement and affection, while nice and appreciated, weren't enough, so she was changing tactics. I wasn't sure that whatever Phanza had planned would work, but I was welcome for a distraction, anything to get me out of my own head for a little while. That being said, I didn't want just any distraction - the last thing I wanted right now was to go out on a mission again, not wanting to face the Empire again so soon, especially not if Thonna Ai'sunn appeared once again as the Third Sister. I wanted to help Thonna and save her from the Empire, but I didn't have a way of helping her right now, not having any solution, so, if I saw her again now, it would only be painful for the both of us. Honestly, even if I did have a solution, it would be painful - it's not going to be easier to help Thonna get over whatever Sidious did to her. If I was in this state, I could only imagine how awful it must be to be Thonna right now, the woman must be suffering.
I shook my head, regretting the situation around the poor girl, but also knowing that I couldn't do anything quite yet. I needed time, I needed an opportunity, and I needed a plan, but, right now, I had none of that. I momentarily cleared my brain of these thoughts and found Phanza on the second floor of the library, sat at a desk reading an actual paper book, written in an ancient Sith alphabet. The old Sith language was highly illegal in the Republic, a relic of the same unfortunate era when planets like Korriban were purged, and I have to wonder just how much literature and philosophy was lost thanks to these laws. Perhaps, had the galaxy been more aware of the Sith and their ways, we could have identified the pretenders long before Palpatine took over the Republic. I do have to admit I'm biased because of my time with Phanza, but, I have to wonder, is Phanza that much of an outlier? I'm sure the majority of Sith are the awful, evil types, in the vein of Palpatine - though I would guess that Palpatine is uniquely and particularly evil - but just how rare is Phanza's type of Sith? Is it just her? I didn't think so. A small faction perhaps, maybe even a good percentage of Sith, after all, something had to have influenced Lady Attam.
"Hello Phanza," I greeted, gently. I watched her black eyes quickly scan through the rest of the sentence before raising her head and facing me, a soft smile on her face, making for an interesting image. Phanza was an unabashed Sith, wearing tattoos on her head tails up to the edges of her face that marked her as part of a notable line of Sith masters and apprentices, and her own species contributed to the evil look. Her skin was a blood red - granted, my own skin was a similar shade, so I couldn't exactly judge - and she had big black eyes, but that just spelled out the enigma that was Phanza Attam. By all appearances, she was a typical Sith, and she made no secret of her allegiance or the fact that she liberally used the Dark Side, and yet, time and time again, the woman was acted I would never expect the Sith to behave. The woman cares about me, she's compassionate, knowledgeable, and merciful - she didn't kill a single clone trooper on Nar Shaddaa, finding a peaceful solution when even I thought it was impossible - and, while she is, no doubt, brutally efficient against her enemies, she is wonderful to her allies.
"Hi Zaliza, I wanted to teach you something." Phanza announced, moving over in her seat to give me room. I sat down next to her and looked at the book, obviously not able to read anything, but, well, I figured that was the point. I watched as Phanza turned back a few pages and began speaking again, gently proposing an idea to me, offering me a distraction "I was looking through my archives and I found, of all things, an ancient Sith textbook. I figured that, if you were willing, we could take a look at it and try to explore some of your people's culture. It's an archaic form of the language, I admit, but I've read ahead already and I think I could do a pretty good job teaching you, if that's a thing that you would want to do."
"Phanza, I...look, I appreciate the offer, but I don't want to learn the ancient Sith language." I replied, not wanting to offend Phanza, certainly not, but, on the other hand, I didn't want to learn this language, I still felt the Jedi stigma against the Sith to an extent. To actually go and learn the old Sith tongue, that felt like a step too far, that felt like an admission that I was falling more and more under the influence of Phanza Attam and the Taaszon Sith. Actually going and learning the forbidden language of the Sith was too taboo to turn around and still be a Jedi, at least, that's what I thought. From a purely academic perspective, it would be a nice experience and I don't exactly have anything better to do, but I couldn't just get past the moral stigma around the language. I knew it was a foolish reason but, remembering back to this morning when I looked at Ullara's image, I just couldn't fathom telling Ullara that, only a few weeks after her sacrifice, I would be learning the Sith language. I know I shouldn't be judgmental here, but I had to be, if I wanted to remain a Jedi, I needed to make a stand somewhere. As odd and insignificant as it may seem, this is where I want to make my stand.
"Zaliza, being a Sith does not automatically make you a bad person. No one is going to be mad at you if you learn the Sith language, it's not going to make you any less of a Jedi. If you don't want to do it, that's fine, but I don't want you to say no for the wrong reason. For better or worse, this is the language of your ancestors, the language of my predecessors." Phanza replied, still gentle, still calm, but pushing against me. I'm a Jedi, I've thought in battles, I've destroyed droids and killed people, I shouldn't have felt so affected by a mere disagreement, but I felt my breath hitch and I felt involuntary tears coming to my eyes. I looked away and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. I didn't react like this in the face of crime lords and Darth Vader himself on Nar Shaddaa, why am I reacting like this now? I'm safe, I'm in a good place, I'm with a person I trust and appreciate, what is wrong with me right now? I tried to shut down my feelings but I felt the pathetic sobs splitting out and I felt Phanza wrap her arms around me, trying to calm me down, trying to guide me through this reaction.
"I - I just...I need...I need to breath," I spit out in between shaky breaths, standing up and taking a few steps away from the Nautolan. Phanza stood up as well but she kept her distance, a concerned expression on her face. That was odd, even with how good I knew Phanza could be, she still was a Sith, wasn't she supposed to hate the weak? Wasn't Phanza supposed to judge me for this, calling me a ruined mess of a Jedi? I didn't understand it, I didn't understand her. I didn't want to be a Sith, I didn't want to stop being a Jedi, and I didn't want to allow the Grand Duchy of Taaszon to take over the galaxy if the Empire actually fell, but, despite all that, and despite all my flaws, Phanza never spoke ill of me. Even as she criticized, dehumanized, and belittled things around me, she never actually attacked me. I could dismiss that all as her simply trying to make me her apprentice, but it didn't seem that simple. I fully believe that, if Phanza just wanted me to fall to the Dark Side, she would have made it happen already, so, either she truly wants me to come over to the Dark Side willingly, or, and this is unlikely, Phanza isn't nearly as capable as I thought of her as. Considering she wanted to teach me the Sith language, I was leaning towards the former.
"Then breath. Close your eyes, inhale, let the air into your lungs, imagine it filling them, and then, when you're ready, release it all. Exhale, clear your lungs and clear your mind. When you're done, I'll still be here, you'll be okay, and we can discuss if this is what we want to do or not." Phanza instructed, her voice low and level, everything contributing to making me feel calmer, safer, and fine, despite my reaction. I did as she instructed, breathing in and out slowly, and, as I did this, I realized it wasn't all that far off from how I used to meditate. I also realized that, despite being so close to a meditative state, I wasn't being confronted with the horrors I was expecting. I hadn't seen a backlash yet, so, perhaps naively, I decided to keep looking, to see if there was any merit to my fears after all. On one hand, I was practically setting myself up for failure, after all, I'm bound to feel something I don't want to feel, on the other hand, I haven't felt anything terrible yet, and I could be pleasantly surprised. Thus, curiosity got the better of me and I took this detour before coming back to the present.
As I continued these breathing exercises, I lightly, tentatively, reached out into the Force. I felt my own presence first, a gentle wave of blue, not quite the radiant blue and white Light Side presence that was perhaps the ideal, but still on the Light Side. I felt Phanza next, a soft hum of power coming off of her, and she was mainly purple in color, with flashes of red or blue here and there. I realized then that there was some truth to Phanza's philosophy, after all, she wasn't consumed by the Dark Side, in fact, as blasphemous as it may be to say, she felt more balanced than any Jedi I knew. Balanced between light and dark rather than balanced on the Light Side of the Force, but what if that was the right way this whole time? Now, I'm in no position to make that decision, I'm not well read enough on the ancient Jedi texts, but what if balance to the Force meant a middle ground, rather than a purely light perspective?
I was a bit bolder with my next move, reaching out further, and, this time, I felt the power of Grand Duchess Voytana. It hung over Taaszon like a storm cloud, and, like a storm cloud, I had no doubt that Voytana could release bolts upon bolts of lightning at any given moment. It was sickly powerful, but, despite that, it was still a purple color. Voytana's shade was closer to red than Phanza's, that much is true, but the difference isn't all that great. Was this the dominant philosophy of Taaszon then? With a new insight, new questions, and something on my mind rather than my own unfortunate circumstances, I opened my eyes and came back to Phanza, seeing relief flash across Phanza's face. The Sith Lord smiled, her face naturally assuming its typical smirk, but I knew there was no malice to it. Just another example of Phanza appearing evil without actually being it. It is a darker presence than the Jedi I used to know, after all, I noticed the darkness first, it seemed overwhelming on Imperius Prime, but, increasingly, I've noticed that this is not the case.
"Why do you use the Dark Side Phanza? You're nice, you care, and you seem principled. You could've been a Jedi in another life." I asked once I calmed down, so curious about my shifting perspective on Phanza. It was easy to call this woman a dark presence, it was easy to dismiss her as a Sith Lord, and it was easy to call her a threat, but the truth is very different, much harder to pin down. That purple I sensed, as if Phanza is equal parts light and dark, not a dull gray that ignored either extreme, but an equal mix of an extreme red and an extreme blue. I would have always imagined the middle ground between the light and dark to be some kind of gray, but this isn't a gray, far from it. From a certain point of view, Phanza is a powerful dark sider, from another point of view, she's a champion of the light, and from a third point of view, she's neither. It was a conundrum, to say the least.
"I use the Dark Side because it's pragmatic. Lightning and choking is a lot more useful in a fight than pacifism and dogma." Phanza answered, echoing some of our earlier conversations, and adding a critique of the Jedi, though, fortunately, Phanza left her scathing take on the Jedi at that. The Nautolan did continue though, just not attacking my order so viciously "I am who I am Zaliza, I am a Force user and I'm going to use the Force to my advantage. You don't win a war through arbitrary restrictions and morals, you win a war with killing, with efficiency, and with power. Palpatine and his clones wouldn't show us any mercy, and we can't afford to be merciful in our reprisals. The only time when mercy pays off in a war is when it can provide a strategic or tactical advantage. Prisoners have to be kept somewhere and fed, corpses don't. Turn coats needed to be fed and housed as well, however, at very least, they make themselves useful by fighting for you. We live in an age of war and resistance, this isn't the time for a Jedi, it's the time for a Sith."
I listened to Phanza's argument, cringing at moments, but...it made sense, for what it was. I suppose that applied to me as well, I was here because, even as a Jedi, I was another fighter, another body that could be useful on the front lines. She described it all as pragmatic. Again, I suppose that makes sense, Phanza isn't dark for the sake of being dark or light for the sake of being light, she does what she believes is right, what she believes is most useful, in each particular instance, rather than living according to anyone else's philosophy, only her own. Phanza's philosophy then, falls into place here. She sees the Force as something that can be molded, can be used accordingly, and she believes that she would only be consumed by the Dark Side if she allows it to happen. I wasn't sure if I entirely agreed with this philosophy, but I understood it. This wasn't some insane, completely foreign perspective that horrified me, it was simply different. I knew the Jedi perspective and my own philosophy wanted peace even more than that, but I ca understand how someone like Phanza, someone who grew up around the Sith, would have such a war driven perspective, especially given the state of the galaxy as a whole nowadays.
"May the Force serve you well," I summed up Phanza's argument, remembering our discussion on philosophy. Phanza nodded, as if to say precisely, but then let me think once again. I watched as the Nautolan closed the textbook and put it away, having decided that her idea would have to wait, this certainly wasn't the right time to introduce the Sith language, but, perhaps, she could ease some of my worries about the Sith in other ways. Thus, as the Nautolan waited to help me through this, I turned my attention back to how Phanza's perspective is shaped by Taaszon. That, naturally, evolved into me thinking about the - admittedly limited - number of other perspectives and views I've encountered on this Sith capital world.
I couldn't help but remember the Chiss bartender I spoke to about the Jedi and the conversation I had with Yevenna afterwards. The people of Taaszon are clearly a more militaristic people, they are clearly willing to do what it takes to fight and win wars, and they advised me that the Jedi should do the same. It would be easy to dismiss these as typical Sith perspectives, but...well, I'd be lying if I said I considered an alien bartender a typical Sith civilian in any way. I always imagined that civilians living under the Sith would be a poor and suffering lot, clearly oppressed, clearly living in a xenophobic society, but this quite frankly doesn't exist on Taaszon. Then there's Yevenna, the Mirialan who definitely is not a typical Mandalorian in any way. She's not a hulking, silent brute who will kill Jedi and commit terrorism to achieve her goals, she's a young and bubbly woman who just happens to be a part of Clan Ordo. That did bring up another thing: Yevenna was an alien, that bartender was an alien, and even Phanza herself was an alien. I noticed this about Taaszon ever since I got here, there is no sign of that xenophobia and oppression that we always associated with the Sith, even the ancient Sith that Taaszon originates from.
"Why are aliens so welcome here? I know the Chiss are indigenous to this part of the galaxy, but what about everyone else? I mean, you're the Grand Duchess's apprentice, this doesn't seem like the Sith state I was expecting. Why is it like this?" I asked, finally wanting some answers and clarity about Taaszon. I don't know why I reacted that way, I don't even know really what that was - was it just an emotional reaction? Was it a panic attack? I've never had one before...or was it something more, is there something wrong with me? - but, I hoped that, with some answers, I could finally feel more comfortable on Taaszon. I trust Phanza, I like this castle, and I've been pleasantly surprised by the people, even the Grand Duchess herself, but being on a Sith planet has always felt odd, maybe if I can make myself feel better here, I can avoid another reaction like that in the future.
"Well, there are a number of reasons. First of all, by the time the old Sith Empire was collapsing, quite a few aliens had risen to powerful positions, and those aliens were among the group that led the exodus to Taaszon. Second of all, when we went on that exile, we took whoever we could get. Aliens were allowed to join us, slaves were promised their freedom if they would help us rebuild and help fill our ranks, and, of course, the local Chiss were incorporated into our society. That part actually came rather easily, considering that the Sith Empire and the Chiss Ascendancy were allies. In fact, based on the ancient maps, Taaszon was somewhat of a border world back then, where Sith and Chiss culture mixed. Third of all, there is the fact that many Grand Duchesses have been part of the line of Kallig, not just Grand Duchess Voytana. This lineage from an alien, Darth Imperius, has had an effect on our society." Phanza explained, giving a number of reasons why aliens became accepted. It seemed that it was born out of necessity, Taaszon taking whoever they could get, even abolishing slavery just to gain manpower, and, over time, that necessity evolved into tolerance, and, by now, that tolerance was evolved into a healthy cooperation. All in all, it wasn't all that different to the processes that made the Republic so diverse and free, processes which Palpatine is no doubt undoing.
"So, once again pragmatism plays into how Taaszon is today." I picked up on the common theme, seeing that Taaszon was very much a society shaped by the circumstances around it. Voytana and her predecessors knew that they couldn't simply continue living on as the Sith Empire, thus, they traded their Imperial title for the title of Grand Duchess, making it clear that this was not a continuation of Dromund Kaas, rather, this was a different kind of Sith civilization. A temporary kind of survival until the Sith Empire could be reformed. Of course, it wasn't all that temporary as, even now, almost four thousand years later, Taaszon still hasn't reformed the Sith Empire, and, in fact, it seems that Palpatine has beat them to the punch, nevertheless, Taaszon lives on. They also knew that they couldn't afford to be selective or prejudiced in a time where their numbers were at a historic low. Thus, you have Phanza Attam as one of the most prominent Sith Lords in the Grand Duchy, you have a Chiss bartender in the capital city's cantina, and you have Yevenna Aphlen as part of one of the ancient Sith affiliated Mandalorian Clans.
"We are survivors Zaliza, we have done what it takes to survive, and we will continue to do whatever it takes to survive. That includes compromises and tolerance, but it also includes murder and destruction, all as and when necessary." Phanza replied, outlining what it all really comes down to. The philosophy, the society, and the pragmatism all emerged out of a need to keep some aspect of the ancient Sith Empire around. Then there's me, half a Sith, the last of their bloodline, and they're ensuring that I'm surviving. As much as I believe in Phanza, as much as I have even seen in the Force that she's not nearly as much of a dark sider as I once thought she was, my presence here has to be seen through the lens that my father was one of them. Phanza wants me to willingly come over to the Dark Side, but that's still what she wants out of this, and she evidently has the confidence that this will work, is that all just to ensure the survival of their royal lineage? Well...I would argue that no, it's not, because there's no way that they would trust me to become their Grand Duchess, even if I do become a Sith and all of that. I'm not from here, I don't know Taaszon's way of life, I've been a Jedi, even if I'm the last of the Sith blood, I'm not the best option. All of that coms before the fact that, even if they did ask me, I have no interest in that, I still want to be a Jedi, certainly not the ruler of a Sith state.
"Thanks for the conversation Phanza, I do appreciate it, but I think I need to go and think about it now." I thanked her, I think I enjoyed these little insights into Taaszon and the thought provoking nature of them more than I would have enjoyed learning a language that my values say is forbidden. I enjoyed the conversation, but now I kinda needed to be by myself and think - but not back at my room, that place is just overflowing with bad memories and reminders of everything that I'm doing wrong - I wanted to go out into the city and breath again. I liked Phanza, I will never forget that she gave me asylum when the whole world I knew came crashing down, but I can't always be around her. I can't have the only alternative being entirely by myself though, I needed to be out in public, out where I couldn't just sit there and get trapped in my own head. I wanted to think, to truly think, not to just wind up wallowing in my own misery once again.
"Very well Zaliza, stay safe. I'm just a single link away." Phanza assured me, bringing up our Force link. I didn't know much about it, neither did Phanza as it turns out, but it did have its uses, for better or worse. The fact that I could reach her at any time in an instant, regardless of any technology or signal jamming, was a comforting thought, especially given that it may well have saved our lives on Nar Shaddaa. In any case, I nodded and left Castle Attam, ready to take the taxi down to the capital city and to spend some time alone on those streets, escaping the confines of my misery.
My attention had previously been focused on the Citadel, after all, it was a giant, monolithic structure that literally stretched into the clouds over Taaszon. There was, however, more to this story, because, on the top of the mountains over the valley, there was Castle Attam. Phanza's own castle also towered over the valley, perched at the highest point of the local topography. It wasn't as tall as the Citadel, obviously, but it still had an incredible vantage point. Together, these two structures said a lot about the Grand Duchy. Castle Attam was the lair of Phanza Attam, the watchful enforcer of the Grand Duchy, the one who operated publicly and carried out Taaszon's duties in the broader galaxy, possessing a spy network that could catch anyone and anything in the capital city. Then there was the citadel, the home of Grand Duchess Voytana herself, whose power was absolutely astronomical. Voytana was high above it, away from the public eye, but Phanza was more accessible, more active, more public, and their residences served as an interesting reflection of their perception.
I wondered whether or not this was similar to the situation that Palpatine and Vader were in back in the rest of the galaxy. Palpatine, after all, kept the fact that they were Sith a secret, instead posing as the Emperor, a victim of the Jedi, and the man who finally brought peace to the galaxy. This cover was advantageous to Palpatine, definitely, but it was also somewhat of a burden, after all, Palpatine couldn't just operate openly as a Sith. Vader, who was known as a former Jedi, had more liberties, being able to use the Force, possessing a deadly lightsaber, and effortlessly crushing the Empire's enemies. It was an interesting comparison, but that's not to say that Phanza and Voytana are anything like Vader and Sidious. Vader and Sidious reigned over a galaxy that they took over through coercion and subjugation, Phanza and Voytana were the leaders that the people of Taaszon wanted. The Grand Duchy was an autocratic monarchy but the people were happy with it, cheering when the separatist invasion was repelled. I suppose that isn't a perfect example, after all, the people of Taaszon knew that the separatists were ruled by the Sith too, but the point remains, the people are happy here, that means a lot.
For all the pacification droids, Chiss police, and even Sith patrolling the streets, there doesn't seem to be all that much of a resistance against them. I could say that just means they're really efficient at crushing dissent, but it simply isn't like that, I would have noticed it by now if there was a dissatisfaction with the regime. As weird as it seems to say this, the people are happy with autocracy, the people are happy living under the Sith. In fact, they even seem to look down upon democratic systems of government, dismissing them as gridlock and the domination of the stupid. As weird as it seems to me, this was just how the people of Taaszon wanted to live, and, well, if this is what they wanted, then wouldn't forcing democracy on them be undemocratic? Being from the Republic, it's easy to say that our system is the best and others should adop it, but I've also watched that system collapse, meanwhile, for better or worse, after almost four thousand years, Taaszon is still standing. It's an interesting thing to think about, but there's already plenty of things I have to think about.
First of all, lets just start with the big one - who am I now? I was a Jedi Padawan before Order 66, I thought I was a Zeltron, and, under Master Avdune's tutelage, I was on the path to becoming a Jedi Knight. Having trained a Padawan to Knighthood, Master Ullara would have then been offered the rank of Jedi Master. I would have used my position as a Knight to try and work for reform and peace for the Jedi, hopefully with some assistance from Master Avdune. Things were simple then, I had a plan, I had Ullara, and I had ambitions. Now though, now I'm finding out that I'm a half-blooded Sith, something that the Jedi Council hid from me, something which even Ullara hid from me. It was for my own protection they would claim, and I didn't even know what to think of that. On one hand, I'm hurt by the fact that my own order and, especially, my own master lied to me like that, but, on the other hand, the truth is absolutely worse. I preferred life when I could think I was simply a Zeltron, before I had to think about this link to a culture that I was taught was a threat.
Then there was also the matter of the Jedi. The organization that was so flawed, so hypocritical, and so blind to its own destruction, but the organization that also stood for defending the galaxy, for peace, and for everything that I believed in. All the Jedi are dead now. The clones in Order 66 did the majority of the deed and now Vader and the Inquisitors would finish off whoever was left. What did that mean for me? I wanted to continue being a Jedi, I wanted to rebuild the order, but how could I even do that when I couldn't even save my best friend from becoming an Inquisitor? Phanza promised me that I would be able to use Taaszon as a place, and I had some problems with that considering I still didn't entirely trust the Grand Duchy, even if I did trust Phanza, so I had a temporary location, but that's all I had. I was only a Padawan, certainly not ready to teach former Jedi, so I couldn't ensure the future of the Jedi alone. In the short term, I'm not capable of saving my fellow Jedi and, in the long term, I'm not capable of training future Jedi. I want to be a Jedi, I want to do this for Ullara, to make her sacrifice mean something, but just because I want something doesn't mean I have any ability to make it happen.
I found myself walking aimlessly through the capital city as I continued sifting through the wild cyclone of thoughts tearing through my head. What did I think about the nature of Taaszon's tolerance? On one hand, the fact that it was all down to doing what it takes to survive diminished what I saw here, after all, it wasn't done with benevolent intentions, it was down to keep a basically evil civilization alive. On the other hand, the tolerance itself was a good thing and, in many ways, the Grand Duchy of Taaszon is very different from its Sith Empire origins, almost an even split between the Light Side and the Dark Side of the Force. Autocracy, militarism, and unabashed use of Sith titles were all common place in Taaszon, but, once again, we reach the fact that the people themselves are happy with it. That really is the most confounding part of Taaszon, on paper, it's everything that I, as a Jedi, should despise, everything that I should be fighting against, however, in practice, the Grand Duchy is completely inoffensive. The people were happy with it.
"Oh hey there Zaliza!" speaking of the people of Taaszon and speaking of defying expectations, I ran into Yevenna Aphlen yet again. We weren't quite at the Mandalorian Enclave, I hadn't wandered there lost in my thoughts yet again, but we were pretty close to it. The Mirialan was dressed in her arm and held her helmet in her right arm, exposing her green skin and black hair tied back into a bun. She didn't really look like Ullara, beyond the superficial similarities of being the same species, but it was interesting that I found another Mirialan friend on a Sith planet of all laces. My understanding is that her parents just happened to be Mirialans assimilated into Sith society before they died and Yevenna was adopted into the Mandalorians. I didn't have too much time to think of it though, because, well...Yevenna loves talking, quite a bit "I didn't think I'd find you here, after all, you don't usually come down into the city. Not that finding you is a bad thing, you seem pretty cool after all, its just kinda weird. How are you doing though? Did my answers last time help at all? I hope they did!"
"Hello Yevenna, it's nice to see you again. As for how I'm doing? Well...I'm doing the best I can I suppose, but it's hard. I don't have anyone left in my life, to be honest, you, Lady Attam, and Grand Duchess Voytana are the only people on this whole planet that I know. I've been spending most of my time alone in my room, just thinking, just remembering all the people who died, and how I can't do anything to avenge them. Phanza and I went out on a mission a few days ago, but I encountered an old friend on it, someone whose now being used by Palpatine, and seeing her suffering just made everything that much worse." I revealed, not sure why I was telling all of this to the Mandalorian woman, but it seemed like quite a relief to finally vent to someone other than Phanza, it felt good having more than one person for once. I sighed and, knowing that I would, no doubt, be confronted with a wall of questions from the talkative Mirialan, I made sure to answer the one remaining one, not wanting to fall behind my rapid companion "Your answers were insightful, though I'm not sure how I can really apply them. That's not your fault though, it's just...I have no idea how I could possibly rebuild the Jedi."
"It's hard, I understand." Yevenna replied, surprisingly quiet and solemn, her voice serious and filled with a deep empathy "The Mandalorians have struggled too, almost being wiped out countless times. Even our group here is just a small splinter of a civilization, and we haven't seen Mandalore in generations. I mean, we've seen the news reports and we know the past few decades haven't been a great time for Mandalore, but it's not the same, you know? We haven't actually been to our homeworld is what I mean, and that hurts. The Mandalorians here aren't like this, but there are groups of Mandalorians out there, usually isolated clans, who have taken on an extreme version of our creed. These guys literally won't taken off their armor or their helmets until the Mandalorians and their honor are fully restored. It seems pretty weird to me, but I guess it just shows how much our people have suffered. Now the Jedi are suffering too and, even though Jedi and Mandalorians fought in the past, it's not right seeing the Jedi like this, it's like...wrong I guess, it's a dishonorable way for your order to be taken down."
"Yeah, yeah I get what you're trying to say. The Mandalorians, for better or worse, are a warrior race and, while your creed is a lot different from our code, you have your principles and your way of fighting. Then, there's Palpatine, who betrayed us, who stabbed us in the back, and who stole the whole galaxy with lies and deception, and he's still lying to the people. I'm not a fan of war, but the Mandalorians would have at least given us a fair fight if it was you guys in that situation." I pondered in return, thinking about the different levels of evil in the galaxy. Death Watch was a terrorist group, an enemy of the Republic and of Mandalore, but they were principled, and, because of that, a faction of Death Watch fought alongside us during the Siege of Mandalore. I can only imagine what's happening to them now, probably being mopped up by the clones as a loose end. What about Maul and his forces then? Was he a pawn of Palpatine as well? Probably, dragging the Republic into yet another conflict and adding a reason to keep the war going after Count Dooku's death.
"I know this is a bit of a weird time to ask, and I'm sorry for this, but...are you going with Lady Attam to Cipher-9? Ceyla is taking me into the field with her when Phanza goes to meet with the Intelligentsia." Yevenna asked, linking herself to Ceyla. Ceyla Ordo, hmm...I probably should have picked up on that earlier. In any case, I didn't think that the Intelligentsia is as simple as the educated classes of Cipher-9, especially not if Phanza is taking two Mandalorians with her.
"I hadn't heard about this mission, but I gotta admit, I'm kind of interested now." I replied, wondering just what this Intelligentsia was and why it was such a risk. I also hoped that a mission away from the empire, surrounded with allies, could help get my mind off things and relax me.
What is Intelligentsia? Find out next chapter!