Warning: you may get hungry reading this, lord knows I did
Today was Saturday and Lincoln was currently driving around with the rest of his family, today was a really busy day for the Lard family. The girls currently have 3 events going on which would all, unfortunately, be at the same time. Lola had a beauty pageant, Lana had a Bot Fight, and Lynn had an eating contest. Much to Lynn's disappointment, the family chose to go to Lola and Lana's events instead of her's.
Rita took Lola, Leni, Luan, Lucy, and Lily to Lola's pageant in her van, while Lynn Sr. took Lori, Luna, Lincoln, Lana, and Lisa to Lana's Battle-Bot Fight in his van, stopping to drop Lynn off at 'Bob's Big Eat's' where the eating contest was to be held "sorry we won't be able to see you enter Junior, but Lana already got us the seats" Lynn Sr. said
"Its fine dad, I mean I enter them all the time, Lana's competition is a lot more significant than watching me stuff my face" Lynn said casually while doing her best to hide her disappointment, though she did hide it well enough, Lincoln saw through it easily
"I'll bring you back a limb or wheel of the robot I do the most carnage too," Lana said deviously.
"Thanks, lil' blobby." She smiled they bumped doughy fists.
Soon they pulled up out the front of the restaurant and Lynn hopped out, as well as Lincoln. "uh Linc, what are you doing?"
"I'm going to watch you compete"
"Are you sure you wouldn't rather go to Lana's robot fight"
"Nope, I want to see my big sister scare off the competition with her appetite" Lynn laughed at this.
"Okay we'll pick you two up later," Lynn Sr. said and with that, he drove off.
The two then walked into the restaurant and were instantly hit by the smell of various different types of food. "mmm something smells good" Lincoln said before Lynn's stomach roared like a lion "the beast is hungry" Lincoln said as he patted Lynn's stomach. Lynn smiled as a waitress walked up to them
"Hello Lynn, I take it you're here for the eating contest?" she asked
"Yep, and I plan on winning. Get my face up on the wall."
"You mean again?" She tilted her head to the far wall and sure enough, Lynn's face was already up on the wall right next to a picture of Lynn, right next to a picture of Lynn, right next to a picture of Lynn, right next to a picture of Lynn. Lynn appeared on the wall so many times you could probably use all the smaller pictures to make one giant collage of her face. "If we were a buffet you'd have been banned a long time ago."
"If you were a buffet I'd think you 'wanted' to go out of business."
"Touche. The sign-up sheet is over there" Lynn turned and spotted the sign-up board, to her surprise there would actually be 5 eating contests today, the first one was burgers, with the ones after it being chicken wings, then pizza, then hotdogs, and finally pancakes.
"Oh yeah, I'm going home with 5 trophies tonight," Lynn said as she put her name down on all of the sign-up sheets
"Are you sure you can handle that much food, Lynn?" Lincoln asked
"Yeah, I've done this kind of thing before, they have about an hour break between each contest so that should be enough time for me to make room for more"
"Cool"
"Would you like me to show you to a table or would you rather sit in your regular booth?" the waitress asked
"Regular booth please" Lynn replied and the waitress showed them to Lynn's regular booth.
About 15 minutes later the contest started "alright contestants, take your designated seat" the owner said through a microphone. Lynn took her seat and looked at her competition. There were a total of 5 other people competing, a plump Asian girl about Lori's age, an overly-muscular man in a too-small tank-top, a chubby boy about Lincoln's age, an obese woman, and her friend Margo... wait for what!
"Margo? you're competing?"
"Yep, thought I'd come and give you a challenge."
"Oh, it is on!" Lynn said before a large platter stacked high with burgers was placed in front of her "Pfft, child's play." she said
"Alright contestants for those new here, here are the rules; you have 10 minutes to eat as many burgers as you can, the one who either finishes all of the first or eats the most by the time the timer runs out wins," the owner said, Lynn's stomach roared in anticipation "okay on your marks, get set, gorge!" and with that, the contestants tore into their burgers. Lynn was basically just biting off chunks and swallowing like a duck, no chewing or savouring.
Margo knew Lynn's eating techniques like the back of her hand and was doing the same as her. Rapidly the piles of burgers diminished and soon people started dropping out, the first was surprisingly the Asian girl, followed by the kid. The man and the woman were necks in the neck with each other, but soon the man started to slow down until he fell face-first into his food and had to be lifted away. The woman managed to keep pace with Lynn and Margo but soon she too started to slow down until she was forced to drop out as well.
It was now down to Lynn and Margo with the two girls not slowing down in the slightest. As they reached the last 10 burgers, Margo was starting to feel sick, but still, she forced herself to keep eating. Unfortunately, by the time she reached her last 5 burgers, she felt like she was one bite away from hurling and put her half-eaten burger back on the table. "And we have a winner!" the owner declared as Lynn had her third last burger in her mouth, seeing that she was the last one still eating, she put the burger down and raised her arms in victory while everyone cheered. Looking she saw Lincoln beaming at her while giving her a double thumbs-up, which she returned. "you all did a great job and put on a great show for these people. As a consolation prize you get to keep the burgers you didn't eat and you all get to have 2 free meal tickets for here" the owner said as he handed the tickets to all of the contestants, stopping at Margo "but this little lady here, she is the first one I've seen to come so close to beating the Legendary Lynn, you deserve 5 free meals"
"Ugh thank you sir...but can you not talk about food right now."
"Uh someone wanna get this young lady a bucket" a staff member then came up and gave a bucket to Margo who would put it to good use 5 minutes later. "and finally the trophy to the undefeated champion Lynn Lard" Lynn held up the trophy proudly and another staff member took her picture which would later be framed.
"Great job there Margo, you almost beat me," Lynn said as she shook Margo's hand
"Yeah, almost, but not quite," Margo said before she got up as did the other contestants, cradling her stomach. Lynn was about to get up as well but then the owner spoke up.
"Okay now, will everyone who's competing in the chicken wing eating contest please make their way onto the stage."
"Wait what? isn't there going to be like an hour break between each contest?" Lynn asked
"Not this time little Lynn, it's going to be one after the other"
'Uh oh' as the burgers were taken away they were replaced with trays loaded with honey and soy chicken wings "this...might be a problem" Lynn said to herself. Looking at her competition she saw that this time she would be up against an extremely obese black woman, a solid built Maori man, and 4 kids from her school (Jackie, Mandee, Spencer, and Luan's boyfriend Benny) "what is this? compete against Lynn day? first Margo, now you guys" Lynn said in an annoyed tone.
"What, it's free chicken wings. Who doesn't want that?" Mandee stated making Lynn frown.
"Okay, same rules as before, the one who is either still eating or finishes first wins. Now, on your marks, get set, gorge!" And with that everyone started tearing into their chicken wings. Thankfully for Lynn, the chicken wings had less mass than the burgers so she was able to eat them at a fairly decent pace. It was also because of that, that no one was dropping out so Lynn was basically being forced to eat the fastest out of everyone in the contest. Stripping each wing to bare bones in two clean strokes before picking up another. Slowly but surely, she pulled ahead of everyone as she quickened her pace. As Lynn and everyone else ate as their lives depended on it, something caught Lincoln's eye, turning his head, his eyes widened and then narrowed as he spotted Luna's band as well as several other people that he recognised as his sister's friends. Getting up from his seat, he walked over to Luna's band and sat down at their booth
"So, small world huh?"
"Lincoln?! What the heck are you doing here?!" Sam asked
"I think the better question should be why are so many of my sister's friends here hmm?" Luna's bandmates now looked like deer caught in the headlights "they asked you to come here, didn't they?"
"Yeah, it was something about paying Lynn back for being a pain in the ass" Sully explained. Lincoln remembered back to the previous week. Last Sunday Lynn had won the national eating championships and through the whole week, she had been rubbing it in everyone's faces that she dominated it, despite her better attitude she was almost as much a sore winner as the old Lynn had been. The girls had asked him if he wanted to help them get back at Lynn, but he'd outright refused, even telling the girls that if they do want to teach Lynn a lesson they shouldn't go over the top which could result in Lynn getting hurt.
"What are you guys competing in?"
"I'm entering the pizza-eating contest, Sully is entering the hotdog eating contest, and Mazzy is entering the pancake eating contest" Sam stated, before they heard the cheering increase, turning they saw Lynn standing up while giving victory signs "And once again, Lynn is the winner!" the owner declared as Lynn gave a loud belch making most of the people laugh "well that made me feel a bit better," she said to herself. Looking again, she was a bit curious as she saw Lincoln was making his way to the stage, and he did not look happy.
After being given her second trophy and getting her hands and face cleaned up as well as getting her picture taken again, the owner called up the next group of people, Lincoln took this as an opportunity to talk to Lynn "hey Linc what's up?" Lincoln then gave her the abridged version of what was going on. At first, she was angry but then it quickly turned to sadness "sorry if I've been bugging you Linc"
"Its fine Lynn, just promise me you'll drop out when you've reached your limit, I don't want the place we go after this to be the hospital because you ruptured your stomach."
"I promise," she said with a bit of a giggle before he left the stage and headed back to his seat. Once all of the contestants were seated a huge stack of large cheese pizza's was placed in front of them. Lynn looked at the stack of pizza's and then looked at her competition. She saw the same woman as before along with an equally obese bearded man along with Chaz and Sam.
"That trophy is mine Lynn," Sam said confidently. While Sam was only a 'small' 220lbs, Lynn knew that this girl could really pack food away when she wanted too, but you wouldn't tell if judging by Sam's chubby frame.
"On your marks, get set, gorge!" and with that Lynn tore into her pizza, slapping two slices together like a sandwich before inhaling it then moving on. Ignoring the ever-increasing fullness of her stomach, Lynn ploughed through the stack of pizza's while repeating her mantra
'Bite, swallow, no savouring' in her head. By the time the 3 teens had reached the final quarter of their stacks, the man and the woman dropped out leaving just the 3 of them. Slice after slice disappeared as the girls didn't stop eating despite how full they felt. Finally, Chaz stopped as he was halfway through his last pizza and dropped out followed almost instantly by Sam who only had 3 slices left
"And we have a winner!" the owner called out.
Lynn stopped as she was about to put her final slice in her mouth and saw that she was the last one in "oh thank god" she said to herself as she was once again given another trophy, bringing her wins to a total of 3.
"And that's the third win in a row for Lynn Lard, can no one actually beat this girl? Maybe the next round will end her winning streak" the owner declared. Lincoln had observed Lynn during multiple eating contests in the past as well as her gorging at home and he knew that Lynn was now at her limit.
It was a very rare thing that Lynn felt as full as she was, though considering she had eaten 35, burgers, 75 chicken wings, and 12 large pizza's in the span of just 40 minutes it wasn't that surprising. She also remembered her promise to her brother to drop out when she reached her limit, though what Lincoln should have realised was that Lynn loved to see what her true limit was, and often pushed herself beyond her regular limits to see what her max was. Looking at her competition this time she was surprised to see "Ronnie Anne!"
"Sup Lynn."
"What are you doing here?"
"Well my family and I came here for lunch and I saw that there was a hotdog eating contest today, so I signed up" she then waved to her family, her mum and dad waved back while Bobby just looked at his phone completely disinterested.
"Your brother's a real jerk for not supporting you"
"Tell me about it. Well at least your brother supports and cares about you"
"Yeah, Linc's the best little brother any girl could ask for" Lynn said as a huge tray of hotdogs was placed in front of her
"You sure you can still eat Lynn, I've seen how much you've eaten so far, this might be pushing it" Ronnie said.
"Well, only one way to find out"
"On your marks, get set, gorge!" the owner called out and the two girls, as well as Sully, a slim man, and Becky, dug into their mountain of hotdogs. Everyone went strong eating hotdog after hotdog, with the piles slowly diminishing by the time everyone started hitting the halfway point they started dropping out. The first was to dropout was Becky, followed shortly after by Sully. When the remaining contestants had only a quarter of their pile left Ronnie Anne dropped out due to now feeling sick, leaving just Lynn and the slim man. Lynn's stomach at this point was basically screaming at her to stop eating but she simply ignored it and bared through the pain of extreme fullness. She and the slim man were now neck and neck with each other, both eating two at a time which almost machine precision before they both stopped at the sound of a horn. Out of the 40 hotdogs, Lynn had eaten 38 whereas the slim man had eaten 36 "and astoundingly Lynn Lard has won for the fourth time in a row!" the crowd cheered at this and Lynn raised an arm in victory.
"Wow Lynn, I can't believe you ate that much!" Ronnie Anne said
"Yeah, same here ugh" Lynn replied. Shaking her head. Whose tilting the floor?
Ronnie Anne did not like the look on the older girls face "Lynn seriously, take it from a girl whose parents work in the hospital, drop out now. You've won 4 eating contests in a row, nobodies gonna think less of you and if you eat anymore your gonna pop." and with that, Ronnie, Anne got up and left the stage. Just as they started bringing in a mountain of pancakes. Each one the size and thickness of a stuffed crust deep dish pizza and covered in all the pancake fixings including what must be two literal pints of maple syrup. Her eyes bulged out as her stomach gurgled. Her brow knit before it reached her hairline as she realised, for what must be the first time in her life, she well and truly didn't have room for more.
For the first time in her life, Lynn Lard couldn't even look at her food.
"Okay the final eating contest begins, contestants please-huh?" he as well as everyone else watched as Lynn got up, grabbed her 4 trophies and left the stage, wincing with every step.
"I'm out." She said before almost crashing into Lincoln. Who helped the overstuffed girl to their booth where she proceeded to lie down on the seat while holding her stomach in pain "I guess the girls payback *groan* backfired. I won *groan* 4 trophies in about an hour." Lynn groaned out
"Yeah, well, you didn't win the final contest and you're in a lot of pain so I'd say their even"
"Good point ugh."
"Hey Linc" Lincoln turned and saw Ronnie Anne with her mum
"Oh hey Ronnie, good job with that hotdog eating contest"
"Thanks, so how's the beached whale?"
"She'll live…probably"
"I must say, young lady, I'm surprised that you've eaten as much as you have. By all medical logic, your stomach should have burst by now" Maria stated in a concerned tone
"Does anyone have a wafer-thin mint?" Lynn joked before wincing. Maria then reached into her purse and pulled out a bottle of pills before handing them to Lincoln
"When she has room have her take 2 of these every hour, they'll help with any indigestion," she said
"Thank you, Mrs Santiago."
"You're quite welcome Lincoln," she said before nudging her daughter "You didn't tell me he was so cute Nene. You might want to snatch this one before someone else does"
"Muuum" Ronnie Anne whined as she went red in the face.
"Is that sunburn or are you blushing, Nene?" her father added, Ronnie Anna pulled her hood as far over her head as possible and stomped off. Her parents laughed and said goodbye to Lincoln and Lynn before following their daughter.
"Hey Linc"
"Yeah Lynn?"
"I'm just going to close my eyes and rest for a bit. Don't let me *yawn* swallow my tong...ue ...zzzz." Lincoln stood up and saw that Lynn was now fast asleep.
"Tch typical Lynn" the owner then came up to him
"So hows she doing?"
"She'll be fine, she just needs to rest a bit"
"Well this isn't a bed and breakfast, you're either going to have to buy something or leave with her."
Lincoln grimaced. Once Lynn fell asleep their was 'no' chance of waking her up, and he might be a lot stronger now but he wasn't so full of himself that he thought he could carry all that dead weight "Okay bring me the menu" Lincoln said wearily and the owner left.
The two were there for a few hours until Lincoln's phone buzzed, looking at the message he saw that it was from his dad 'hey Linc, are you and Lynn ready to be picked up?'
Lincoln quickly replied back 'yeah, but I'm going to need someone to come in to carry some stuff' and a few seconds later he received another text
'Okay, see you in about 15 minutes' and with that Lincoln waited. Sure enough, 15 minutes later Luna walked in. As soon as she spotted Lynn and Lincoln at Lynn's regular booth, she had to hold back her laughter at Lynn just lying there. Though as she made her way over to them her eyes widened in surprise as she noticed the 4 trophies on the table
"Whoa dude! Did she really win 4 eating contests?!"
"Yes, and for the record, there was only like a 5-minute gap between each contest"
"Whoa!"
"Yeah, she won 4 out of 5 contests, despite your little form of payback."
The rocker had the decency to look guilty. "Oh, so you found out about that?"
"Yes, and I'd say you're even now. She ended up with a colossal stomach ache and couldn't be in the final contest."
"You know she looks quite content after eating so much food"
"Yeah, like a beached whale" Lincoln then got up and grabbed Lynn by the front of her shirt and hauled her up "she looks so natural. Lynn? Oh Lynn. Wake up goldilocks!" and he shook her awake
"Huh? Wha? Ah crap, I'm still here?! Gah oh god my stomach!"
"Here Lynn, take these," he said as he handed her two pills and the rest of his drink. Without even questioning it, Lynn took them, and a few seconds later the pain mostly subsided but she still felt incredibly full. Lincoln then hauled her onto her feet and helped support her while Luna grabbed the trophies before they left.
When they got home Lincoln could tell that Lynn was about to slip back into her food coma, so he helped her back to her room and onto her bed before she fell asleep again. He then took off her shoes and draped her blanket over her before he left her room as quietly as he could. After closing the door, he turned around and went straight into a wall of flab "hello Lori" he said and took a step back to see everyone had gathered together.
"So Lynn won 4 eating contests in a row?!" Leni asked, quite impressed.
"Yeah, also I think you guys are even now."
"Even? What do you mean even?" Rita asked suspiciously, his made the girls tense up
"They, or at least the older girls, got their friends to compete against Lynn to make her eat more so she wouldn't be able to win all of the eating contests, guess they didn't take into account Lynn's stubbornness, though knowing her she probably would have kept forcing herself to eat until her stomach burst" Lincoln explained
"Girls, why did you do that?"
"She was annoying us for the whole week that she won a national competition" Lori explained
"Well next time tell us these things and we'll put a stop to it, is that understood?"
"Yes mum" the girls said in unison.
"Good, we'll just forget that this incident happened" Rita finished and she and her husband left while the kids split off to do what they wanted, with Lynn sleeping away her colossal meal.
Authors note: let me know in the reviews if you caught any references in this chapter.