I am a few chapters behind in my upload schedule here so I will be dumping the most recent couple chapters today. I highly suggest you follow me on Ao3 if you haven't as I tend to be more active on that platform. I apologize for the delay, hope you all are staying safe and are having a happy new year.

"It's pretty crazy that Chloe was born on Valentine's Day."

Lucy's voice is almost startling in their space; barely loud enough to bounce off of the far wall and settle somewhere in the middle of the two of them. It's been so quiet for so long that Beca hadn't expected it but she's always glad to hear it.

"Yeah, but it makes sense for her, doesn't it?"

Lucy giggles, "Totally."

Beca looks back down at her notebook. She's been trying to write lyrics for her newest song throughout the better part of the day; and more actively trying not to get frustrated at her overflowing lack of inspiration. Lucy sighs and writes another answer down on her math worksheet. It calms whatever bubbling anger that was about to surface.

The one upside to less producing, and behind-the-scenes work, is that she doesn't need to go to the office much; except for creative team meetings, which she's always enjoyed. Once she got over the initial hurt and anger that came with this new arrangement, she realized this is the best thing for all of them right now. She's been able to spend more time with Chloe, which they both know was much needed.

She's also been able to keep a closer eye on Lucy. Since the bus station incident, which is how she refers to it in her head, because saying the words "running away" still hurts her feelings too much, Lucy has been calmer; not necessarily happier, or peaceful, but her reactions haven't felt so explosive. The thoughtfulness, that's always accompanied her words is back while she's been given time to process things. She's been seeing Thea twice a week, which seems to be helping.

Beca will never be able to know what's going on in Lucy's head, and that's something she is still struggling to accept. She'll never be able to know every thought, or feeling, but being around her lately has seemed lighter; and she figures that's a start.

"Where is Chloe anyway?"

"She has Bella today. I was thinking while she's gone, you and I could work on some plans for her birthday."

"Okay." Lucy beams.

Beca will forever be grateful for the bond Lucy and Chloe have. It's taken a while for Chloe to begin to move past the bus station incident too. It hurt her, deeply, but she couldn't spend too much time being angry with Lucy. They understand that she's endured a lot of trauma in a short time. She's allowed to make some major league mistakes. But they decided, during one of their many, many, late night talks, that they are entitled to their own feelings too; these past few weeks have been about figuring out where to put them and how to deal with them.

"So her birthday is Friday, I figured we could maybe do dinner and go to that bakery she likes."

"Could we do it Thursday or Saturday?" Lucy asks, shyly.

"Why, you got a big date or something?"

Lucy's eyes widen, until she realizes that Beca is joking.

"Well, no, but there's a Valentine's Day dance at school and Lincoln and I were thinking, that maybe…"

"Say no more, you go to your dance. We'll celebrate as a family on Saturday. Me and Chloe will do something just the two of us on Friday."

Lucy scrunches her entire face up.

"You guys are going to be all gross and mushy all night, aren't you?"

"Mhm."

"Yuck."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

Beca nudges her with her knee which makes her laugh.

"So, about this dance, are you going to have a date?"

"Ew, no way. Just me and Lincoln."

Beca thinks back to the conversation she and Chloe had, a few weeks ago, about whether or not there could be something there between the two of them. It makes her stomach coil, tight, and forces her to clench her jaw. She doesn't like thinking about the fact that one day Lucy will date. One day, she'll open her heart up like she never has before, and as a result, will be hurt in, yet another way, she never has before.

"I don't want to date anybody."

It's a quiet confession. Something about it makes Beca's stomach flutter. She and Lucy don't typically have conversations like this. She usually goes to Chloe for these things. Beca always feels out of her depth, but one look at her sister's face and she knows she has to say something.

"And that's okay, Scout. You're so young, you might change your mind."

Lucy nods.

"But hey," Beca waits for her to look up, "even if you don't, that's okay, too. I don't ever want you to think that you're weird, or different, or I don't know, for feeling that way. It's a decision only you can make. It has to be what makes you happy; not me, not your friends, just you."

Lucy stays still this time. Beca can tell she heard her, but isn't fully convinced that it sank in. She feels that coil, tightening, again. She wonders if this is all parenting is: a series of events that make you freak out, until it passes, or turns into a bigger worry. She isn't so sure her blood pressure can take much more of it, but for Lucy, she would suffer every minute of the rest of her life, if it meant she could be happy.

Lucy moves closer to Beca. She cranes her neck to look over her shoulder at the few lines she's managed to get written down.

"What do you think?"

Lucy shrugs.

"That good, huh?"

"It's just very serious."

"Is that a bad thing?" Beca asks, genuinely wondering.

"No, but sometimes music just needs to be fun."

She doesn't wait for an answer. She closes her textbook and walks toward her bedroom. Finch's nails tap on the floor as he trots along behind her. Beca bites her lower lip and lets her head fall back against the couch cushions. She isn't sure she knows what fun is anymore.

"Hello?" Stacie calls out, as soon as the door to her apartment is open.

Chloe is laying on the floor with Bella, playing with some of her toys.

"Hey, how was work?"

"Crazy. How was she?" Stacie asks.

She sits down in front of her daughter, who looks up with a bright smile on her face, and claps her hands a couple times.

"Mama!"

"Hi baby."

She scoops her up and kisses her face all over. Chloe feels the same old familiar ache in her gut.

"She was good. I couldn't get her to eat much though."

"Yeah, she's staging her own little hunger strike lately." Stacie takes her eyes off of her baby and looks into Chloe's. "How are you doing?"

Chloe purses her lips and shrugs.

"I'm pretty good actually."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm."

"Why don't you tell that to your face?"

Chloe giggles and stands up. She stretches her back before sitting, more comfortably, on the couch.

"No, I am. It's just the typical worry."

"The mom worry." Stacie says, knowingly.

"I don't know that I would call it that."

"Why not? That's what it is, isn't it? You're worried about Lucy, how could you not be?"

"But I'm not her mom. I'm not even related to her."

Stacie knows this is a thought that is almost constantly in the back of Chloe's mind. This isn't the first time they've talked about it. It won't be the last either.

"You and Beca are the closest thing she'll ever have to a mom ever again. I think that counts for something, don't you? And blood relation doesn't mean jack shit and you know it. Look at Beca and her mom and then look at Beca and Sheila. Sheila was ten times the mother to Beca than that other woman ever could be; not that she would ever try."

"I know. It's just still so strange."

"I can only imagine. But the fact that you're there every day, you're trying with her… that makes you a mom in my book. So all that worry you're feeling, it's natural; you have to protect your little girl."

Stacie kisses the top of Bella's head. Chloe swallows around the lump in her throat.

"I've just never felt this way before. What do you do with all of it?"

"All of what?"

"It." Chloe chuckles, "The worry and the hurt and the anger."

Stacie puts Bella down and takes the seat next to Chloe. She rests one of her hands on Chloe's knee and speaks in the most serious tone that Chloe has ever heard her use.

"You let it out in little ways, away from them, in the healthiest ways possible. Then you use what's left to fuel you. You use the intensity to help you keep going; to do whatever it is you have to do to make sure they're doing okay."

"That sounds hard."

"It's fucking exhausting. But as far as I can tell there's nothing more important."

Lincoln walks into her apartment; the small one bedroom that she shares with her mother. It stinks of cigarettes and the curtains are still drawn, making it look more like a vampire's crypt than a home. She drops her bag by the door and grabs the bright pink post-it that's been stuck to the refrigerator.

'I'll be late. Make yourself dinner.'

That's all it says and Lincoln has to chastise herself for expecting there to be anything more. She crumples it up and tosses it into the overfilled garbage can. She pulls out the bag of goldfish crackers, they're stale but it's something for now. She sits at the counter to do her homework. A text makes her phone screen light up. She glances at it quickly but pauses her work when she reads Lucy's name.

'Facetime tonight?'

Lincoln's heart flutters, with the words, but the thing that gets her is the small emoji at the end. She answers but continues to stare at the bright smile for another few minutes.

'For sure.'

'Can't wait.'

At least Lucy is always happy to talk to her. She had almost forgotten what that was like.

Chloe closes the door to the apartment behind her and drops her stuff on the small bench. She's met with music. It took a week or so to get used to; having Beca home, having music playing almost constantly, like it was before the accident. There is a sense of levity in their home again.

A few clumsy piano notes bounce around the room, followed by a boisterous laugh from Lucy. Chloe leans against the wall, out of sight, so she can listen to whatever comes next.

"Like that?" Beca asks, through her own laughter.

"Yeah, but make it bouncy."

"I don't know what that means, Lou."

There's some shuffling before a floating, syncopated, melody fills the room. Followed by a little voice,

"Here is where you put the words

once you make them up.

If you ever do or you might just give up.

Lyrics are hard,

but it will be worth the work

when you make a million dollars

and we own half of New York."

Once it's done, Beca's voice comes in again, loud.

"Well, shit, why don't you just write my songs for me?"

"Fine, but I'll need a writing credit and 70 percent of the profits."

"My people will call your people."

Chloe peeks her head into the room. Beca and Lucy are sitting on the piano bench. Lucy's hands are still resting on the keys and Beca is holding her notebook, pen poised above the paper.

"Hi Chlo."

"Hi sweet girl, what's going on?"

Beca stands to give her a kiss and wrap her up in her arms.

"Lucy is helping me work on some new music."

"Oh yeah, anything good?"

"Mhm, yeah, I think we've got some gems in the works."

Chloe smiles and runs her hands through Lucy's hair, which is getting way too long.

"That's great."

Lucy tilts her head back to look up at Chloe standing behind her. She gives a gentle smile.

"Is your homework done?"

"Mhm."
"Do you want me to check it?"

"Yes please. I'll go grab it."

She hops up and out of the room. Chloe turns to look at Beca. She's noticed lately that Beca looks more like she did before the accident. She's more at ease, the dark circles are fading from under her eyes and her shoulders now sit at a normal height instead of up by her ears. She isn't sure if it's her own mind playing tricks on her, or if it's actually true; she hopes it's the second one.

"How was your day with Bella?"

"Oh, you know, the usual rousing debates and stimulating conversation."

"Of course."

"I did have a nice talk with Stacie though."

"Really?"

Beca follows Chloe to the kitchen.

"About what?" Beca asks, fully prepared to drop it if Chloe doesn't want to share.

"Lucy, I guess, kind of. And just…"

"Everything."

"Yeah."

Chloe leans forward on the counter, bringing her face closer to Beca's; allowing them to speak more quietly.

"Did you give any more thought to what I said the other night?" Beca asks, not as ready to let this go when it's deflected.

"I haven't had time."
"Chloe."

"No, I know, I know. It's just… scary."

"I know." Beca grips Chloe's hands in her own. "But I think therapy would be good for you. Lucy and I both go, right? It's intimidating at first, but once you start it'll be like you've been going forever. I think you'll feel a lot better."

A single tear drips down Chloe's cheek.

"I just never thought I would be that kind of person."
"What kind of person is that?"

Chloe pauses. She isn't mulling over her word choice, she knows the answer. Beca can tell.

"The kind of person that needs help."

"Everyone needs a little help sometimes, baby."

"I know. But the step between needing it, and actually asking for it, is a very big one."

Beca moves around the island and wraps Chloe in her arms. She can feel the desperate grip on the back of her shirt and it makes her feel sick. She doesn't know how to sit back and watch while the woman she loves struggles. Despite everything that has happened over the past year, she hasn't gotten any better at being helpless.

"Is everything okay?" Lucy asks, walking into the room with her backpack slung over one shoulder.

Chloe turns, quickly, to wipe under her eyes. Beca keeps one arm wrapped around her waist, the other goes up to her necklace. She fiddles with it between her fingers.

"Uh yeah, everything's fine."

"No, it's not. Clearly it's not."

"It is, really. We were just talking."

Lucy plants herself in her spot and crosses her arms over her chest. When Chloe turns back around, she looks like her normal self; even if her mascara is smudged and her cheeks are a little more blushed than before.

"Can I ask you something?"

Lucy nods, nervous. Chloe and Beca take a seat at the table and Lucy follows. She sits across from Chloe and clasps her hands in front of her.

"Do you think going to Thea is helping you?"

"Yes."

It's sure, quick, confident.

"Why?"

"Because Beca thinks… because I think I need to go see someone like you do and I'm just having a bit of a hard time getting myself there."

"You were the one who told me there's nothing to be embarrassed about, remember?"

Chloe nods.

"I think you need to take your own advice. Because if there's anyone who deserves to be helped, and deserves to be happy, it's you."

Chloe melts. Her shoulders drop and her lips move from a sharp line to a quivering half-smile.

"Thank you, sweet girl."

"I'm surprised that you even like Valentine's Day." Lucy says.

She's sitting across from Lincoln at their usual lunch table, the next day.

"I don't. The only holiday I like is Halloween."

At the mere mention of the holiday, Lucy stiffens. Lincoln picks up on what she said and bites her lower lip.

"Sorry."

Lucy waves her off. They never really talked about what happened on Halloween; Lucy wonders if they ever will. She picks at her sandwich, suddenly not very hungry.

"Then why do you want to go to the dance?"

"Because I can tell that you want to go."

Lucy looks up at her, always a little shocked when things like this leave Lincoln's mouth. She notices everything, she's intuitive and kind, but rarely shows it outwardly, at least around other people. So when thoughts like this appear in spaces so public, it always throws Lucy for a loop; it makes her stomach fill with butterflies and forces a smile.

"Well, I don't know if I do. I've never been to a school dance before."

"Let me paint a picture for you then," Lincoln starts. Lucy's smile grows more prominent on her face. "all of the girls that don't like the rest of the girls will stand in the corner and giggle. All the boys that put on too much body spray and hair gel will stand in the other corner. Someone will dare someone else to ask for a dance. They'll think it's a fast song but it will turn into a slow song, and then everyone will die of embarrassment."

"Well, when you put it like that, how could we say no?"

Lincoln shrugs and pops a grape into her mouth. She fiddles with the zipper on the bright pink lunchbox, the lunchbox that very clearly does not belong to Lincoln. It's an unspoken thing, that Chloe makes a lunch for her every day. She sticks the extra lunchbox next to Lucy's backpack before they leave in the morning. Lucy puts it in Lincoln's locker before second bell. It's not mentioned, even once; the lunchbox is always in Lucy's locker before she leaves for the day.

"But if you still want to go, we should."

"Thea says I should start expanding my social circles."

"What, I'm not good enough for her?"

Lucy laughs, a breathy giggle, "I don't know. I think Chloe's worried that I don't talk to many people either. Beca gets it though."

"Yeah, she doesn't strike me as a social butterfly."

It's still strange, having someone at her school that knows her sister on a more personal level. Someone that's interacted with her, that's stayed in the same house as her. She think she likes it, because Lincoln never uses the celebrity sister thing against her. She never makes a big deal of it, or asks prying questions; it's comforting. A lot about Lincoln brings her comfort.

"If we go to the dance you have to wear red or pink. Is that too festive for you?"

"We have to?"

Lucy nods, drinking her water, "It's the rules. It's on all of the flyers."

"And we wouldn't want to break the rules."

Lincoln rolls her eyes, but Lucy can tell it's all for show.

"You want to stay over after?" Lucy asks, shyness returning to her tone.

She's been trying to play it cool but has been making up as many excuses as possible for Lincoln to spend time at their house. After the comment Chloe made the day after the "bus station incident", she just wants to make sure that she's okay. Lincoln wants to say, no, she doesn't want Lucy to grow sick of her. Then the thought of the bright pink post-it, stuck to the bathroom mirror this morning, pops into her head.

'Gone for the weekend. Get pizza.'

She looks down at the lunchbox and zips it closed before saying,

"Sure. That sounds good."

"Cool."

The bell rings, meaning they need to go their separate ways.

"I'll see you later, Peach."

"Yeah, see you later."

Their week goes by as quickly as all the others. Between Lucy's school and band practice, Beca's writing sessions, and Chloe's babysitting, it feels as though they've barely seen each other. Chloe remembers much of her own childhood moving along this way. She knows it's natural, that it's good; it means they're progressing. But part of her still mourns the months where they were huddled together inside their secluded little bubble.

Their bedroom door creaks open, on Friday morning. Lucy's face peeks in, still cloaked in sleep. Chloe smiles, and opens her arms for Lucy to climb into them.

"Happy birthday." She says, quietly, to not wake Beca.

It's still early; much too early to get up and get ready for the day, but Lucy woke from a nightmare almost an hour ago and figured Chloe would probably be awake by now.

"Thank you."

"Do you feel any older?"

"No," Chloe giggles, "thank goodness."

Another calm quiet, lands on them like a blanket. It's warm and comforting. Lucy sighs and lets her head fall, fully, onto Chloe's shoulder.

"Are you excited for your dance tonight?"

"I think so."

"You're not sure?"

Lucy shrugs, "I'm a little nervous."

"I get that. But I think you're going to have a really good time, and if you don't, you can always leave. You can call us anytime and we'll come get you."

Lucy closes her eyes, tight, and swallows around the lump in her throat. It's been happening less and less, but every once in a while, something Chloe says pulls on her heart. It sounds too much like her mom. Whether it's a near echo of something her mom used to say, or it's something she can picture her mom saying now that she's a little older, in those moments, the air is knocked out of her. She's left speechless until she can regulate her heart. She nods, so Chloe doesn't try to look down at her face. She doesn't want her to know.

"Do you know what you're going to wear?"

"Not yet, will you help me?"

"Of course. I'm going to need some help picking out an outfit too, even though Beca won't tell me what we're doing tonight."

"Of course she won't. She's annoying."

Beca rolls over and opens one eye. It's apparent that she's been awake, listening to them.

"I resent that."

"Mhm." Chloe and Lucy respond at once.

Beca pushes herself up and leans over Lucy to kiss Chloe.

"Good morning, birthday girl."

"Gross. Bye."

Lucy rolls out of the bed and walks out of the room.

"I think she's starting to get embarrassed by us." Chloe says.

"You think?"