Deacon

He thought back to her comment about maybe listening to his songs. He'd rarely shared them with her. He'd mentioned to her that he did a regular set at the Bluebird, but she'd never come listen to him perform. Most of his songs were about her, or for her. Sometimes he wasn't sure how he felt about her hearing them. Especially in light of the conversation from the night before. He hadn't really crossed the line with her, but he'd come close to tipping his hand. It made him realize he needed to back off. He didn't want to take advantage of whatever it was that was bothering her. it was pretty clear it involved Teddy somehow, but he just needed to do as she asked. Be a friend. Be the friend she needed.

Listening to his songs wouldn't be a good idea.

It was another one of those nights after a travel day, with no show. He was meeting Rayna and Bucky over at the arena to do a walk-through. He usually wasn't ready for a tour to end. It always gave him a rhythm, some structure. In the beginning, when he'd left rehab the last time, not having that meant he was climbing the walls mostly, fighting the urge to drink again. Watty got him work around town, but it wasn't regular, and what he'd really needed was something regular. So when Rayna asked him back, even though he knew it probably wasn't the best idea, he'd been grateful for the routineness of it. As the years had gone by, she had gradually cut back on dates. She could afford to, because her albums sold so well, but as the girls got older, she wanted more time at home.

Songwriting had been what kept him occupied, when they weren't on the road. That and performing at places like the Bluebird. He'd done a regular set at Douglas Corner for about six months and then got the Bluebird gig. Every third Thursday when he was off the road. The routine of it was perfect and it made him devote time to writing. He'd shown a few songs to Rayna, early on, and she'd recorded a couple, but he thought it had felt uncomfortable for her. After she'd recorded Changing Ground, she'd never asked and he'd never offered. He had told her the truth about cowriting. She was the only person he really wanted to do that with. No matter what else, the music they wrote together had been special. He doubted he could capture that magic with anyone else.

She and Bucky were waiting for him when he got to the arena and they walked across the stage, walked out into the seats and up to the mezzanines, thinking about sightlines and how to make the show enjoyable for everyone. Bucky went off with the arena manager and he and Rayna made their way out of the arena. When they exited to the street, it was dusk.

He looked at her. "You wanna go grab a bite?"

She seemed to hesitate for just a moment, then she smiled. "Sounds good. I wonder if there's a good Chinese place around here."

He grinned. She loved Chinese food. Back when they were first starting out, they would splurge on Chinese. She loved the little take out containers and they learned together how to use chopsticks. She caught on more quickly than he did, so she patiently helped him until he was pretty proficient. "We're not far from the hotel," he said. "Maybe they can recommend a place."

They settled into a booth at a small place around the corner from the hotel. The concierge highly recommended it so Rayna was anxious to give it a try. They shared sauteed green beans and she got shrimp and vegetables and he ordered Mongolian beef. When the server put the plates in front of them, she smiled. "Some things never change," she said with a laugh.

"What?"

"Deacon, you find something you like and you never try anything else," she said.

He frowned. "That's not true," he said.

She playfully rolled her eyes. "You've been ordering Mongolian beef since the first time we ever got Chinese takeout."

"What's wrong with that? I like it. Besides, I don't eat Chinese that often."

She smiled as she picked up a shrimp with her chopsticks. "Nothing's wrong with it. You're very predictable, which is actually pretty easy. I bet if I walked in your house right now, you wouldn't have moved any of the furniture."

"It's fine like it is," he said, enjoying this more lighthearted side of Rayna, without the stress she'd been carrying around with her. "Don't need to be moved." She laughed. He decided to change the subject. "Maddie and Daphne must be looking forward to Mama coming home."

"Yeah, they are. I hate that I'm missing Halloween, but they'll survive, I guess." She looked a little wistful. "But we're taking them to Disney World at Thanksgiving, so they're looking forward to that even more."

He raised his eyebrows. "You mean you ain't going to Lamar's for the grand Thanksgiving command performance?"

She shook her head and laughed. "No, we are not. And Daddy's fit to be tied about it. But it's not so crowded then, so we're willing to make the sacrifice." She smiled wickedly.

"Maddie still practicing her guitar?" he asked.

"She is. I'm actually really shocked she's still interested, but both girls really are interested in music."

"They sure come by it honest," he said. "They still close?"

She nodded. "Like Tandy and I were growing up. Daphne worships her big sister and Maddie is so sweet with her." She looked at him. "So what will you be doing when we finish the tour?"

"Writing. Playing at the Bluebird. Same thing I always do. Scarlett's coming up for Thanksgiving."

She smiled. "She is? How old is she now?"

"She's a sophomore at Ole Miss. Got a boyfriend." He grimaced. "I think she's planning on bringing him."

"What about Beverly? Is she coming too?"

He shook his head. "Beverly's going through kind of a rough patch right now. Scarlett really needs a break." His sister had spent a good part of her adult life in and out of mental health facilities. Just another casualty of the life they'd both grown up in. She'd ended up with their mother's mental health issues and he'd been a drunk, like their father.

She looked a little disappointed. "I'm so sorry I'll miss seeing Scarlett. She was just a teeny tiny thing the last time I saw her, with her big blue eyes and her beautiful blonde hair."

"I'll tell her you're sorry to have missed her. She's still a little skittish. Growing up with Beverly wasn't easy." He smiled then. "I'm hoping to talk her into coming to Nashville when she's out of school."

"I hope she does." He thought for a moment about his niece. She wrote poetry and poured all her fears and hopes and dreams into her writing. Much like he had channeled the dark parts of his life into his music, she was doing the same with her poetry. It had been a great way for her to survive Beverly.

"Thanks for suggesting this," Rayna said, bringing him back from his thoughts. "It was nice to just catch up on things."

He smiled. "Yes, it was."

Rayna

As they headed back to the hotel, she slid her arm through his. If it surprised him, he didn't say anything. "I liked being able to do this," she said. "We should have done it more often." He nodded. "You know, I hope when we get back to Nashville that you'll make yourself get out a little more."

He gave her a smirk. "You know that really ain't me. Not anymore." He was probably right about that. When he 'got out more', in the past, it had usually meant going to a bar and getting wasted. But he was a good-looking man, a catch, for sure. She thought maybe if he'd find someone he really liked, it would help both of them. "Being out on the road's tough for a relationship."

She did know that was true. She smiled up at him. "Well, be open to it." They had gotten to the hotel and she pulled her arm free and walked into the lobby ahead of him. They headed for the elevator and then waited for it to arrive. When they were on the elevator and the doors had closed, she broke the silence. "I enjoyed this, Deacon."

He looked at her and nodded. "Me too." A few seconds later they had arrived at his floor. The elevator doors opened. "See you tomorrow then," he said, then he turned and walked out.

She waited as the doors closed and then breathed out slowly. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. This was what she wanted – for them to be friends and able to move past the romantic part of their relationship. At least that's what she'd told herself for years. And, truthfully, she'd been able to do it for a long time. The elevator arrived at her floor and she got off, walking down the hallway to her room. She opened the door and walked in, letting her purse drop onto the couch. Then she took off her jacket and dropped it on top of the purse.

She shivered. Not so much from the cold, because it was actually warm in the room. One of the extras she'd had written into her contract was that someone would ensure the room was warm in the colder months and cool in the summer months. It was one of the first asks she'd added when she had enough clout. There had been too many nights when the rooms were hot and stuffy or it felt like walking into an icebox, always in the wrong season. Bucky had laughed when she asked for it. It may seem like a simple thing to you, but it's not to me. He'd just shaken his head and it was in every single contract after that.

She really wasn't a diva. It was one of the things she'd promised herself she would never do. She wanted to be relatable and not ask for crazy things. She always had a fruit plate in her dressing room before a show. And champagne afterwards. When the girls were with her there were cookies and milk in the dressing room. They were little perks, but they made it feel more like home.

She sat on the other end of the couch, pulling her legs up underneath her. Nights like these felt lonely when the girls weren't with her. She would feel at loose ends. It gave her too much time to think. These days her thoughts were a jumble. Much of it was about Teddy, about the choices he'd made and the mess he'd made of their lives. She thought she could have gotten past it had it not been for the pictures. The pictures that had arrived by courier one afternoon when she was in Nashville on a break. They were in the same sealed manila envelope she still had. There was no writing on the envelope except for her name. it had felt odd when she saw it – Rayna Jaymes Conrad – a name she never used except on legal documents. She remembered asking the courier to wait while she got him a tip. She had smiled as he walked away and she shut the door, carrying the envelope into the library. She slid a fingernail along the edge of the seal and opened the envelope.

When she pulled the pictures out, she had frowned at first, then practically collapsed in a chair when she saw the first one. A picture of Teddy hugging Peggy. It didn't look much like a friendly hug. It looked intimate. She looked at all of them, feeling sick to her stomach, and then she put them in a drawer in the bedroom. She waited until the girls had gone to bed before she brought them downstairs and laid them all out on the kitchen table.

"What the hell, Teddy?" she asked, keeping her voice low.

He looked dumbfounded at first, but quickly recovered. "Those aren't what they seem, Rayna," he said. She wasn't sure, but she thought she heard an ever so slight quiver in his voice.

She looked at them sharply, pointing. "Well, they look like two people in a relationship. What else could they really be?"

Teddy scowled. "I am not in a relationship with Peggy. She's an old friend and she's going through a hard time."

She gave him a puzzled look. "And it requires you to hold her in your arms? Let her run her hand over your cheek? How much closer can she stand to you, Teddy?"

He narrowed his eyes slightly. "How did you get these anyway?" he asked.

"I told you. A courier brought them."

"Who are they from?"

"I have no idea, but maybe someone who thought this was something I should know?" She shook her head. "Instead of getting all indignant, Teddy, I think you need to come up with a better story."

"Trust me, Rayna," he said. "I am not in any kind of relationship with Peggy Matthews. I would never do that to you or to the girls."

She bent over the table, sweeping up the photos and putting them back in the envelope. Then she looked at her husband. "The trouble is, I don't trust you. Not only have you put us in a difficult financial situation, but if I have these photos, you know someone else does too. Someone who could still make them public." She looked at him steadily. "So I don't trust you." She turned to head for the stairs, but then turned back. "I think you should sleep in the guest room tonight." Then she walked straight towards the back stairs and headed upstairs.

She had cried herself to sleep that night. Not the way she'd cried herself to sleep that first year after she left Deacon. Back when she carried their baby inside her and then gave birth to her, making a promise not to tell him. These tears were tears of a different kind of hurt and disappointment. She felt betrayed and she didn't know what to do. Teddy was the father of her children and she never wanted to damage that relationship. She had some big decisions to make and those had weighed heavily on her during these last several weeks. She'd seen a side of Teddy she didn't know existed and she felt adrift. And she had looked at Deacon – sober and beautiful – and the memories threatened to take a foothold in her heart. But the consequences were too terrible to think about.

She got up and walked over to the minibar, taking the wine split out of the fridge. As she poured it into a glass, she couldn't help but think about how far she was from what she'd dreamed her life would be back in those very early days after her father had kicked her out. She had shown him a bravado she didn't really feel, the uncertainty of being faced with figuring things out on her own feeling very daunting. She'd been sheltered her whole life, not wanting for anything, life made carefree because of money and station in life. That hadn't been real, though, something she was keenly aware of, and it didn't take long before she had understood that.

She thought about how she'd shown up on Watty's doorstep that night, not really knowing where else to go. He didn't ever reveal his feelings about that, just took her in and led her to his guest room. He'd been her shelter in a storm those first few weeks. Then there was the night Deacon had kissed her for the first time and she'd known right away that's where her destiny lay. The next day he'd come by Watty's and picked her up, taking her home with him. She brushed aside the tears on her cheek. How simple things had seemed then and how complicated they were now.

Why did you have to be an alcoholic? If not for that, she and Deacon would be together, raising their family. That was dangerous thinking though. It was easy to look back and wonder what if, but she'd gotten what she wanted. A stable father for her daughter, a solid marriage, a second daughter, a family. Maybe she just needed to give Teddy a second chance.

Deacon

He heard the elevator doors close as he walked slowly down the hall towards his room. These days, since he'd gotten sober, he spent most of his free time in his room. When he was drinking he would go out and find a bar, sometimes with Rayna, sometimes not. Towards the end, it was more that he'd slip away from her and go to a bar, which could lead to him not getting back to the venue on time or at all. But he was feeling restless and didn't want to just sit in the room and write or watch TV. He knew there was a park down by the river and not far from the hotel. He slid his key back in his pocket and turned back towards the elevator.

He sat on one of the benches overlooking the river. It was a chilly night and his jacket was a little lighter than he really needed, but he enjoyed the fresh air and the walk. He could see the lights of the riverfront on the Kentucky side of the river and thought he recalled hitting a bar or two over there on one of Rayna's early tours. He couldn't be positive, but he thought whiskey, and all other alcohol, was cheaper there. When he thought back to those days, when he was the one in Rayna's bed and not Teddy, he usually chose to think about the earlier days, when he and Rayna hit all the dives and small bars around the eastern half of the country. He didn't often dwell on the later days, when he lived in the haze of alcohol. Of course, there were also stretches of time he didn't remember back then, when his drinking had hit the level where he had blackouts.

Although he didn't understand the reason, he did understand Rayna had reluctantly extended this tour. He didn't mind, though, since there really was nothing, and no one, waiting back in Nashville for him. Since Rayna was planning an album, that would start right after the first of the new year, so at least he wouldn't be waiting around for long. Waiting. His life had become a waiting game. He was waiting for the next town, the next tour, the next rehearsal. He waited between shows at the Bluebird, waited for the bus or sometimes a plane. He waited for Rayna. She'd told him probably a thousand times she wanted him to be happy, wanted him to move on with his life, find someone who would fill up his life. He wondered if maybe he should. The way she'd moved on with hers.

She clearly wasn't waiting on him. He'd been sober for 8 years, long enough that if she were waiting for him to prove something, he would have more than satisfied it. He did wonder sometimes why he waited. But he'd waited all this time. Why not wait a while longer?

He sighed, then got up and headed back to the hotel.

Rayna

She had set the alarm so she could FaceTime with the girls. She sat in her bed, her legs crossed underneath her and waited.

"Hey there, sweetie," Teddy said, smiling as he answered. She couldn't help but notice that he looked more relaxed. She wondered what was behind that, but then she stopped herself. She was giving him the benefit of the doubt. She needed to actually follow through. He turned to look behind him. "Maddie, Daphne, it's your mom."

She heard squealing in the background and then he handed the phone to them. "Mommy, mommy!" Daphne cried. She could tell her youngest was bouncing on her feet and her smile was brilliant. "I miss you, I miss you!"

"I miss her too," Maddie said, pushing her way into the picture, with a scowl on her face. Then it turned to a smile. "Hey, Mom! Where are you?"

She smiled and laughed happily. There was nothing she loved more than being with her girls. "I'm in Cincinnati. And I miss you girls too! So much." She watched them kind of jostle for position. "What's your day like?"

Maddie frowned. "School. A math test." She made a frustrated noise. "I don't know why I need to take math. I'm going to be an artist, like you, and I don't need math."

"Well, you're a long way from that, but it's still good to be well-rounded."

Maddie rolled her eyes. "Were you good at math?"

"Well, no, I wasn't" – she could see Maddie start to interrupt her – "but it doesn't mean you shouldn't learn it."

"It's my turn to talk!" Daphne cried, scowling at Maddie. She looked back with a sweet smile on her face. "I have a dance class today!"

She smiled. "You do?" Daphne nodded vigorously. "Well, I know you'll have so much fun."

"We're learning a new dance!"

"How exciting!" she cried.

Then Daphne frowned. "I wish you were here, Mommy. Halloween's tomorrow."

"Yeah," Maddie chimed in. "It's not fair that you're not here for Halloween."

She felt an ache in her heart. "I know and I'm so sorry it worked out like this. But next year I'll be sure to be home."

"Hey, girls," came Teddy's voice from behind them. "You need to go get your things ready for school."

The girls both protested, but finally ran off, calling out "Bye, Mom!" "Bye, Mommy!"

"Bye, girls!" she called out as they disappeared. It was never enough time.

Teddy's smiling face came back in view. "They're counting down the days until you're home."

She sighed. "Me too." Then she forced a smile back on her face. "How are things with you?"

He nodded and she noticed a little pinched look on his face then. "I've been trying to get some meetings with people around town, but no luck."

"Teddy, don't push it. I love that you're home with the girls and they love having you home. Just enjoy it for a while."

He smiled a little sadly. "I know. I do enjoy that." She could tell he was trying to perk up. "We're going to Percy Warner tomorrow for a hike. They enjoy that."

"See? Look, babe, it'll all work out. I know you have to get the girls to school, so I'll let you go."

He looked a little lost for a moment. "I love you, Rayna."

She smiled. "I love you too. I'll talk to you soon." She disconnected and then just sat on the bed, holding the phone in her hand. This was the part of touring she hated. Being away from her family, especially her girls. When they were little, they went with her, but this was the first time they'd both only been out during the summer, and that seemed so far away.

She got up and got dressed, then sat down at the desk in the room. When her room phone buzzed, she picked it up. "Ms. Jaymes?" she heard.

"Yes, it is."

"Hold for the morning show." There was silence while she waited. She didn't mind doing in market radio when she was touring, but she hated how early she had to get up to do it. She heard the click and she put on her smile.

"We've got the Queen of Country Music Rayna Jaymes on with us this morning as she's landed here in the Queen City for her Little Bits of Heaven tour. Thanks for coming on with us this morning, Rayna!"

She took a deep breath and dove in.

She was walking towards the stage for sound check with Bucky. He looked at her a little apologetically. "Don't forget we have an after party tonight. At the hotel ballroom."

She nodded. "I remember."

"And we're out of here by 10 tomorrow."

She made a face. "But I didn't think Indianapolis was that far," she said."

"It's not. But you're dropping in on a live radio remote at 4 downtown."

She rolled her eyes. "How long is that?" She hated remotes. Yes, it was a great way to meet fans and get publicity, which translated to more radio play and greater success. But they were exhausting and they were always too close to show time for her liking. But remotes, along with the radio show call-ins were the staple of a performing artist's life and livelihood.

He shook his head. "Not long. Half hour tops."

She didn't say anything else, just jogged up the steps to the stage. Deacon and the rest of the band were already there. She stood and let one of her crew put in her ears and then she walked out onto the stage and smiled. "Y'all ready?" She looked at Deacon. "I'll let you pick," she said.

He nodded and then looked at the band. "Stompin' Ground, y'all," he said. She walked up to the mic as the band started the opening notes.

Deacon

He could see she needed something up tempo for sound check. He could see something in her eyes, a tautness on her face that let him know something was amiss. He was pretty sure she was missing her girls. The tour being stretched out meant they were apart longer. He'd never seen Rayna happier than when she was with Maddie and Daphne. Except way back in the beginning, when the two of them were together. She came alive with her girls. Her smile was more genuine, her eyes actually sparkled with happiness, and she seemed to almost constantly be touching them, hugging them, holding their hands.

She always wanted that. A family. They'd talked about it, a lot. More in the earlier days than towards the end, when she had a hard time seeing a future for them. At least one that included the dreams they'd had when they were younger. She had told him, maybe after his third rehab, that they wouldn't get married unless he could show her that he could make sober work. And then Vince died and he'd spiraled out of control. That was really when he'd lost the only woman he ever loved. The only woman he knew deep in his gut that he would ever love.

He focused on her now. He couldn't remember anymore who had written the song. It was on Sweet and Sorrow, the last album they'd done together before she'd left him. It was unusual, in that they had always written everything together that was on her albums. Whoever had written it had written it for her, he remembered that, but the rest was lost to the fog of that last year with her. it was a good song though, a Rayna Jaymes classic, for sure.

They did a couple more, then finished with American Beauty. She waited for him as one of the roadies came and got his guitar. They walked across the stage together and then he followed her down the stairs. "You okay?" he asked.

Her smile looked a little tired. "Yeah. Or I will be." She shrugged. "I had one of those remotes before I came over here."

"Ah," he said, with a knowing nod. He knew she didn't like doing them. Not that she didn't enjoy being in front of her fans, but the timing was never optimal. It probably meant she'd come straight to sound check.

She made a face. "I'll be fine for the show." She sighed. "I talked to the girls this morning," she said. She looked up at him, a disappointed look on her face. "And tomorrow is Halloween and I won't be there." She lightly tapped the back of her hand against his arm. "You know how it is for my girls and Halloween."

He did know. Halloween and Christmas were her favorite holidays. She loved handing out candy to little trick-or-treaters and she always exclaimed over their costumes. Then when the trick-or-treaters were finally gone and the candy bowl was empty, she'd tell him how she wanted to be able to take her kids out one day, in the costumes they'd made. He had teased her about how she didn't know how to sew and she'd amended it to just picking them out. He smiled a little. "Yeah, I do know."

"I know there will be pictures, but it won't be the same." She looked pensive. "I just love all those traditions, you know?" They stopped in front of a door that already had her name on it. "I'm going to take a little nap here. I was up early talking to the girls and I'll be late with the after party." She gave him a questioning look. "Are you coming tonight?" she asked.

He never decided until the show was over. It often had to do with how things were with her. he shrugged. "Don't know yet." She just nodded. "Well, guess I'll see you back here later." She held her hand up in a wave and he turned and headed down the hallway to the back exit.

The road was a lonely place. He remembered telling Carmen that once. She had told him she'd be happy to tag along and be his tour wife. They had laughed about it, but he'd never seriously considered it. He sometimes wondered how Teddy did it. Not that he much cared about Teddy, but the idea that your wife went off on tour and left you home alone. Teddy had never been out on the road with Rayna. She told him Teddy and buses didn't mix well. He'd always toured with Rayna when they were together and that had been perfect. Well, when it was good. When it was bad it was decidedly not. But that first tour, back in her band, had been hard. He'd gone back to his room after every show, alone.

He was always a little afraid, back in those days. He was afraid things wouldn't work, him and Rayna on tour together again, although not together. He was afraid to make a misstep, so he didn't go to after parties. He was afraid, at the end of every tour those first few years, that she wouldn't ask him back. These days he knew his worth and he wasn't afraid as much. He knew it bothered Rayna when he came to an after party and picked up a woman. She would never say anything, because it would mostly be awkward plus she wouldn't want him to know it mattered. He mostly tried to be discreet and so that's why he normally just sat at the bar and drank club soda and lime and waited for someone to come sit next to him.

That night she was a pretty, perky young thing. She had long blonde perfectly straight hair. Her skin was sun kissed, which probably meant she used a tanning bed, but it looked good on her. She had sat next to him and smiled, a dazzling smile that lit up her face. She drank cosmopolitans and before long her hand was on his knee, then began trailing up his thigh. He could feel his arousal and took her hand, leading her out of the ballroom. They walked briskly to the elevator. Thankfully they were the only ones on it, because her hand was on his crotch the moment the doors closed.

He turned his head. She was dozing on top of the sheets, her pert little ass bare and alluring. He'd been a little startled to find out she was a college intern at one of the radio stations, but she was sexually much more mature than that. He rolled onto his side and slid his hand down between her legs. She stirred a little, spreading her legs apart slightly. He slid his fingers inside her for a moment, then rose up and straddled her, lifting her so he could thrust himself inside her. Part of his mind focused on the fact that when they were done, he'd need her to leave. The other part of his mind focused on satisfying his needs in a way that didn't require more from him than he wanted to give.

Even though it would be late, after the Louisville show, the buses would head back to Nashville. It was only 2 ½ hours and everyone was ready to be home, even if they did arrive in the middle of the night. Rayna was particularly anxious to be home and was looking forward to being there when her daughters got up for school. They would have a couple days off in Nashville before the show, the final show of the tour. The CMA's would be the following week and then everyone would hunker down for the holidays.

He walked out of the arena and saw that she was already at her bus, talking to Bucky. He stopped and watched. She looked happy, practically bouncing up and down in her boots. She was smiling, he could see that. He felt a pain in his chest as he watched. He closed his eyes as he thought about the snippet of dream he'd had the night before. He was standing on the porch at the cabin, looking out over the lake. The sun had just dipped below the horizon and it wasn't completely dark. He'd heard a car and then saw the headlights come fast around the side of the house. The car door opened and he could see someone get out, and then it faded to Rayna shouting 'get your hands off me'. He shook his head. It meant something, he was sure of it. He just couldn't figure out what it was.

When he opened his eyes, Rayna was gone.

Rayna

She knew she'd been running on pure energy that night. The show had been electric, the fans loud and boisterous, and she'd felt the tingles of a great show race through her. She had hurried back to her dressing room when the show was over, doing a haphazard job of washing her face, then changing into jeans and a sweater for the bus ride home. Home. She was going home. While a lot was unsettled still, she was ready to sleep in her own bed and be there in the morning when her girls got up. She was going to get up early and make pancakes to celebrate. She'd be so wired, she might not sleep when she got home, so she hoped she could at least doze on the bus ride down highway 65.

She grabbed her purse and hurried out the door and out onto the walkway outside the arena. The chill in the air made her eyes water but she didn't stop. Bucky was waiting at the bus door. He smiled as she approached. "I take it you're ready to get home," he said.

She laughed. "That's an understatement."

"There'll be a car waiting for you when we arrive, to take you home."

"Wonderful. And Bucky?"

"Yes?"

She pointed her finger at him. "I don't want to hear from you until sound check on Friday."

He chuckled. "You got it. Now go ahead and board. We'll be pushing off in about fifteen minutes."

She hurried up the steps and then dropped her purse and jacket on the table. She caught movement out of the window and stopped to watch Deacon walk across the parking lot towards the band bus. They had bickered more this tour, especially when she had added on the extra shows. But she was still grateful he was out on stage with her. She probably wouldn't see him again until they were back in the studio. She needed the break. She was pretty sure they both did. She turned and headed back to her suite in the back of the bus. She sat down on the bed and pulled off her boots, then crawled under the covers fully dressed. She was asleep within moments of her head hitting the pillows.

The streets of Nashville were dark and traffic almost non-existent at 1:30 in the morning. Most of the traffic lights were on blink. Broadway was probably still jumping, but they were far from there. The car turned down Belle Meade Boulevard. She yawned as she stared out at the darkened houses. She had slept until the buses arrived in Nashville and she was still tired, but she was also glad to be home. They drove around the entrance to the park and headed down the road slowly. When they got to the drive, she gave the driver the code and the gates swung open. The house was dark, except for the outside lights. She directed the driver to the side entrance and then thanked him when he let her out.

She walked to the back door and let herself in. The light was on over the stove and the kitchen was spotless. She set her purse down on the counter and shrugged off her jacket, laying it down as well. She looked at the digital clock over the stove and saw that it was almost 2:00 and then she felt overwhelmingly exhausted. She got a bottle of water from the fridge and then headed for the stairs.

As she walked down the upstairs hallway, she walked past the girls' rooms. She thought about peeking in but didn't want to wake them. She kept walking until she got to the master bedroom. She was sure Teddy slept in there when she wasn't home. He also knew she was coming back so she wondered if he had taken the guest room. When she opened the door, she saw that the curtains were open and moonlight bathed the room. The bed was made up so clearly Teddy had known not to be here when she got home. She closed the door behind her and then walked across the room, turning on the lamp by her side of the bed. She walked into her closet and stripped down to nothing, then pulled a pair of pajamas out of her dresser. She put them on and then went into the bathroom to brush her teeth. She could see in the mirror the tension around her eyes. She and Teddy were going to need to figure things out. Soon.

She rinsed her mouth and then walked back towards the bedroom, turning out the bathroom light. She crawled under the covers and then turned out the lamp, falling asleep almost immediately.