Chapter Fifteen: The Hell of Bloodlust
The computer made the next match;
"Shino Abarame Vs. Ino Yamanaka" said the announcer. What was his name anyway? Neji hadn't caught it.
Either way, Ino went down into the arena and faced down Shino from a distance. The bug-user adjusted his glasses and eyed her. "You are outmatched here, Ino. You would be wise to back down."
"You think I'm giving up because you have those creepy bug powers, Shino? You've got another thing coming," said Ino, taking a stance.
"Go, Shino!" said Kiba.
"Very well," said Shino.
The match began.
Instantly, Shino's insects surged forward toward Ino, who leaped away. Even as she did, however, crowds of them were fanning out to try and catch her. Rapidly she was being surrounded. Even so, Ino leaped forward and somersaulted through the air to land beyond.
"What can Ino do?" asked Tenten.
"Taijutsu is borderline useless against an Abarame," mused Neji. "However, she might have an alternative."
Ino feigned a charge, drawing a kunai.
"You're planning to cut your hair?" asked Shino.
Ino stopped short very. "What?"
"Why?" asked Shino, bugs moving toward her. "Because by doing so, you'd be able to channel yourself through. You could use it to possess me, increasing accuracy. Why? Because you hope to possess me and force me to forfeit."
"Stop playing mind games, you jerk!" shouted Ino, leaping away from the bugs and landing to catch herself on the railing.
"You can't escape my bugs Ino," said Shino.
"Yeah, right, you haven't laid a hand on me," said Shino.
"On the contrary," said Shino. "You are already caught."
Suddenly, insects crawled out of the wall and onto Ino's hand from it. Shouting in terror, she fell backward, kicking herself off on reflex. She cleared the hordes of insects following her, trying to she the bugs while screaming.
"Ah!"
"I thought that you would prove evasive," said Shino. "So I left a large contingent of my insects on the sidelines to take a target of opportunity.
"Even now, they are draining your chakra."
Ino went dead silent and smiled. "Jokes on you. Mind transfer jutsu!"
Neji blinked as there was a surge of chakra. Ino used the bugs she had thrown into the crowd for the same purpose she'd planned for her hair. After all, they had her chakra. Ino slumped to the ground as her chakra entered Shino. "...That was fairly creative."
"What was creative?" asked Tenten.
"Ino used the chakra inside the bugs that were draining her as a channel to strike at Shino. She's now possessed him. It should now be a simple matter-"
And then Ino stood up screaming. "AH! GET THEM OF ME! GET THEM OFF ME!
"I forfeit, I forfeit!"
"A wise move," said Shino.
Ino scrambled back into the watching area. "He... he's got those bugs inside his mind. As soon as I entered, they started crawling all over me. I felt their minds..."
"Uh, Ino, you might want to look at your leg," said Shino.
Ino looked down and saw insects crawling over her. "AH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!"
"Shino Abarame is victorious," said the announcer.
"Is it just me, or does Shino never lose?" asked Tenten.
"It's not just you," said Neji.
"The next match will be Sasuke Uchiha Vs. Choji Akimichi" said the announcer.
Choji was definitely going to lose.
"Alright! Wish me luck, Ino," said Choji, moving past them into the arena.
"Yeah, you're doomed," said Ino, in a bad mood.
"Pretty much," said Shikamaru.
"Ah, come on, Shikamaru!" said Choji, sounding a bit offended. "It's not that one-sided."
"Just do your best," said Shikamaru.
"Fine, I'll show you what I'm made of!" said Choji.
Sasuke entered the arena, and Neji wondered when he had gotten back. Perhaps it had simply not been relevant to hell. He was every bit as confident, no, arrogant as he usually was. "You sure you don't want to give up, Fatso?"
"Why you... I'll show you, Uchiha!" said Choji.
"Begin," said the announcer.
Choji bulked up into his human boulder form and surged forward. However, Sasuke stepped aside as it crashed into the wall. "Huh, almost scratched me there."
"Stay... still!" said Choji, rolling back to attack him again.
Even as he surged forward, however, Sasuke raised a hand. "I don't think so.
"Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu!"
A wave of flame surged forward to scorch the human boulder, sending it flying back against the wall. It crashed there, and Choji transformed back into his normal self. "Ow!
"I give up, I give up already!"
"That was a bit hardcore, don't you think, Sasuke?" asked Naruto.
"He's fine," said Sasuke.
"Sasuke is so dreamy!" said Ino.
"Oh, so when I tell people uncomfortable truths, I'm pure evil. But when Sasuke burns Choji alive, he's dreamy," said Neji.
Tenten shrugged. "Well, if it's any consolation, I think you look really cool in your matches, Neji."
"Don't patronize me," said Neji. And he realized they had finished the last match. Even now, the specters of his... associates were fading away. He turned to Tenten, seeing Temari in one corner. None of this had faded away before, or perhaps Neji had not seen it. "So..."
"So what?" asked Tenten.
"There wasn't this kind of lull in hell when I first started," said Neji.
"It's your personal hell, Neji," said Tenten. "Now that you are aware of it, you have more control over it."
"But not to end it," said Neji.
"Obviously not, or you wouldn't be in hell," said Neji.
"So, does this tournament end?" asked Neji. "Or am I going to spend the rest of eternity watching these idiots fight?"
Tenten shrugged. "I dunno, ask Temari."
Neji paused. "...You're not helping."
"I actually am; I'm just not helping how you want me to help," said Tenten. "If you could conquer your inner demons because someone told you how to, you would have done it a long time ago.
"There are plenty of how-to books to moral behavior. People still don't follow the instructions."
Neji took the point and moved over to where Temari was sitting, a vacant look in her eyes. It was as though she were trapped in some waking dream. Or not here at all. "Temari..."
Temari stood up with a start. "Yes, what is it? I zoned out."
"Have you spoken with Tenten?" asked Neji.
"What about her?" asked Temari. "I defeated her. What good is she?"
"According to her, we're not looping. We're damned," said Neji.
Temari stood up, looking like she believed her. "What, you mean like... we're in hell? But why would it look like the Leaf Village tournament?"
"This is a reflection of my own inner malice," said Neji, looking around at the empty room. Very practical, cold, and with no adornment save the scars of battle. "I have no idea why you are here, however."
Temari shuddered and saw Tenten smiling. Then she stormed over here. "...You, Tenten! You know what's going on here, don't you! Why am I here! Why am I in hell?!"
Tenten shrugged, looking smug. "Because you chose to be here, obviously."
"I didn't choose to be trapped looping through a neverending parade of humiliation!" said Temari. "Let me out now!"
Tenten smiled even wider. "I can't do that. I'm as much a prisoner here as you, at least until Neji leaves."
"Why am I here?" asked Temari. "TELL ME WHY?!"
Tenten was smirking in an almost psychotic fashion. "You tell me, Temari?
"Why would you be trapped as a helpless spectator? Subjected to one public humiliation after another?"
"What is this because I beat you in one fight?" asked Temari.
"No, it's not about the fight," said Tenten. "It's about what that fight represented."
"For humiliating you then?" guessed Temari.
"Because you're an arrogant, evil jerk, okay!" said Tenten flatly. "You've been an arrogant, evil jerk for your entire ninja career!"
"That's not true," said Temari.
"Oh, I'm sorry, how many times did you stand by and do nothing while Gaara tore some defenseless person limb from limb?" asked Tenten.
"Well, I..." Temari paused. "I couldn't have stopped him."
"You didn't even try," said Tenten flatly.
"I can't beat Gaara in a fight!" said Temari.
"And who says you had to beat him in a fight?" asked Tenten. "He has ears; he can talk! Have you ever once even tried to convince him not to murder someone?
"In case you haven't noticed, you and Kankuro are the only people who he doesn't pulp for annoying him."
"Gaara's not a person! He's a monster!" said Temari. "He's just a secret weapon the Sand unleashes on anyone it wants dead! If I tried to speak to him, he'd kill us!"
"Did you ever try?" repeated Tenten. "And if he's a monster, your village is where he was created, wasn't he?"
"It's not my fault!" said Temari.
"Oh yes, it is, Temari," said Tenten. "Because you benefit from Gaara's brutality. You benefit massively. Because of his sheer ability, you and Kankuro have become high profile Sand Ninja. High enough that you were the only team sent here. You willingly travel with him. And you dismiss his atrocities as the cost of doing business and accept the rewards that come from them.
"But I could forgive that, really. After all, he is pretty terrifying, and you aren't his parents.
"Only, you seemed pretty damn proud of yourself when we fought, weren't you? You let me throw everything I had at you just so you could make me feel helpless and humiliate me. And when you beat me, you did it in the most brutal way possible.
"If I hadn't trained for flexibility, my spine would have been broken. I'd have never walked again.
"You didn't gain anything by doing that. You could have just let me smash against the floor and not get crippled for life. But you had to show off."
"But you were fine," said Temari.
"Doesn't matter," said Tenten. "You didn't know I was that flexible; you knowingly tried to break my spine to show off.
"You want to know why you're in hell? Because you deserve it.
"You went to hell because you're an arrogant, murderous, sadistic hypocrite. You deserve to suffer, and you know it, don't you?"
Temari stepped back. "Then why isn't my brother here? Kankuro... Kankuro ought to be here too if..."
"Kankuro is in a lower level of hell," said Tenten simply.
Well... this got dark very fast. Neji wondered if this was what it was like to observe one of his trademark breaking speeches.
"He... he can't be..." began Temari.
"He was even worse than you were," said Tenten. "His entire fighting style is based around sadism. He traps people inside a cage and stabs them to death while they're helpless. He poisons them and lets them die slowly or threatens to crush them to death.
"You don't train in that kind of cruelty if you don't get off on it on some level.
"He's done everything you did, Temari.
"The only difference is that Kankuro was willing to hurt innocent children just so he could feel big."
Hmm, was Tenten referring to that skirmish with the Honorable Grandson. Temari seemed to remember it. "...That was just one time."
"It doesn't matter. He still threatened to kill children," said Tenten. "See, your entire life, you and Kankuro have never suffered consequences. The penalties you should have suffered were never applied. Sometimes it was because of your Father, sometimes it was because you were useful. Other times it was because punishing you simply wasn't politically convenient.
"Well, I'm afraid it doesn't work that way in a divine realm.
"Your sins don't disappear because you worked against a greater evil once. And especially not if you make one half-hearted apology. And you didn't do either of those things.
"Honestly, you're asking me why you should be in hell. But... why should you be in heaven, Temari? What have you ever done that is kind or good for another being? I can't think of anything, at least since you joined up with Gaara.
"Maybe you had some doubts. But doubts about the path you're on don't mean anything if you don't turn around. And you never got the chance."
Temari halted. "What do you mean, I never got the chance?"
Tenten sighed. "You remember how in the first loop Neji went through, I got crushed to a bloody pulp by Gaara? Well, that world had a future. In that future, Neji and Lee got dark. They put aside their rivalry. They then proceeded to train themselves harder than ever before.
"Then they made an alliance with Dosu, Kin, and Zaku. They ambushed you in your quarters. They murdered all of you in cold blood to make sure you'd never kill anyone again. You didn't even get a chance to get off an attack. They killed Gaara while he was on the roof before he could get serious. Then they came after you and Kankuro while you were sleeping.
"Your mentor, Baki, tried to save you, and they killed you in front of them. They were pissed.
"You didn't have your puppets or fan with you at all. They caught you defenseless and prepared to murder you. But then you begged for Kankuro's life. Neji contemplated sparing you before realizing he couldn't leave any witnesses. So he killed you quickly instead.
"And that's the only reason you're not in a much lower place on the cosmic scale. You actually had a moment where you cared about someone more than yourself and acted on it. That alone got you a much better place in the afterlife. And it also helped save Neji from doing something far worse than murder.
"But make no mistake, you don't belong here."
"...But... I'd have never made that kind of approach to combat if I didn't know you were a missile specialist," said Temari. "I overheard you talking me...
"I'm not in character out there."
"The punishment has to fit the crime," said Tenten. "Neji was a huge jerk in life who was dealt an incredibly bad hand. He struggled to deal with some of his issues before ultimately being overcome by them. The worst thing he ever did was murder you. And he made some attempt to be a good person and never had it in him to be fully wicked. So his punishment is to be trapped with who he was for eternity and contemplate his actions.
"You spent your entire life committing hundreds of murders. You accepted the benefits those murders gave you. Then you refused to take responsibility for any of them. You only got here because you pleaded for Kankuro's life. That and because Neji was willing to entertain the idea. That action reawakened some humanity in Neji and also put a connection if only a small one.
"Because of that connection, you are able to shelter in this domain. But your spirit is infinitely weaker than anything in this place. You are only as strong as you are because Neji remembers you as a credible threat. As a result, every time you go to face someone, your pride chokes you. And you become who you were on your absolute worst day.
"And since the divine realm sees only the heart and not physical matter, you get crushed every single time."
"So the game is rigged from the start?" asked Temari. "Well, then I don't want to be here anymore! Send me back to my own place?"
Tenten paused and sighed. "You don't want me to do that, Temari. Your soul came here by itself for a reason."
"I don't care!" shouted Temari. "I'm sick of being here, and I'm sick of you! Take me out of this-"
Tenten tapped one foot against the ground. As she did, the world around them changed, and they were standing atop a barren pillar of rock. All around them, on every side, was a vast lake of blood, and the moans and screams of the damned were everywhere. In the blood, Neji could see horrified figures writhing in agony. He saw them were pulled down into eternal oblivion.
"What is..." Temari struggled. "What the hell is this-"
"You guessed it," said Tenten.
And then the ground beneath her feet broke, and Temari fell backward. Neji moved forward to grab her hand, but it phased through her. As though Temari were nothing more than an illusion. As the blonde fell downward, she plunged into the water, hardly hanging on to the base of the pillar.
"Please!" cried Temari. "Save me! Take me back?!" But her voice was like a whisper.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I can't hear you from an infinite distance higher than you?" called Tenten. "What was that?"
"Take me back, please, I don't want to be here! Take me back, please!" screamed Temari, even as hands reached out to grab her.
"Oh, are you sure?" asked Tenten. "I wouldn't want to feel like I'm pressuring you into something you don't want to do?"
"Save me! Save me!" screamed Temari, as she lost her grip on the rock.
"Oh, fine," said Tenten.
Then Tenten hurled a line of white thread down. It shot forward and wrapped around Temari's hand, even as she was pulled under. For a moment, Temari halted, and then she pulled herself up onto the rock. Shaking off the hands of those in hell, Temari began to walk upward.
"Wait, what is this?" asked Temari.
"It's a line of spiderweb formed from your good deeds in life," said Tenten, hauling on it from the other side. "It'll pull you up."
"Is that really going to hold her?" asked Neji.
"Hopefully, it will. Don't say or do anything," said Tenten. "This is her own choice to make."
Far below, Neji saw that Temari was making progress up the rope. Even as she did, however, other people were beginning to scale up it. Temari looked back down as the rope began to strain. "Hey, let go! Let go of me!"
"Help me..." murmured one of the faceless corpses scaling after her.
"If you don't let go, the thread will break, and we'll all fall in!" said Temari. "Please! Let go, I can't fall into that, please!" Strangely, as she spoke, the thread ceased to strain and seemed almost thicker somehow. Several of the corpses seemed to shift and then let go.
As they did, they melted away into nothingness rather than fall into the blood.
"Huh, they're actually letting go," said Tenten. "Nice."
Temari began to scale upwards toward the top, covered in blood as others tried to scale up behind her. Yet the rope did not break or strain again, though there were soon hundreds more. Yet those who scaled it seemed to melt away into nothingness.
"Temari..." moaned a voice, deep within.
Temari looked down into the blood, and Neji caught sight of a familiar tattooed face. It was trying to swim toward the rope. Temari looked up to the top of the rock, then back. "Kankuro?!" Sliding down the rope, Temari reached out for him. "Give me your hand, quickly!"
The hand was grasped, and Tenten was straining. "Neji, give me a hand here, will you."
Neji stepped forward and grabbed the other edge of the thread. Together they pulled them upwards, and Temari and Kankuro came up over the edge. For a moment, Neji thought he saw thousands of such rock faces. And each one had such a spider thread thrown down, yet not always with the same result.
Some broke when the one scaling yelled contempt. Others snapped as they tried to scale it.
And then they were back in the arena.
Only Temari was there, and Tenten stood over her. Temari gasped for breath but somehow seemed more real. "What... what was that?"
"Oh, a secret test of character," said Tenten. "An old way of getting someone out of hell. You offer them a rope formed from their good deeds in life, and they can climb out. The thing is, whenever someone tries to climb out of hell, everyone else tries to get out.
"When that happens, one of three things happens next. The person either declares the rope theirs, ignores them, or talks to the spirits climbing. If they declare the rope theirs, it means their good deeds were all about feeling good. Not being good. So the thread breaks from selfishness. If they ignore the spirits below, it means they ignore others' suffering for their own goals. So they aren't really repentant, and the rope snaps.
"The only way to actually get out is to talk to the spirits of the damned. Sometimes to suggest they come up one at a time, or just to plead for mercy. By doing that, you are allowing the other damned spirits to be a better person. So you are doing more good deeds that strengthen the rope."
"I've heard this parallel," said Neji. "I was not aware it was literal."
"What was that place?" asked Temari.
"The hell of bloodlust," said Tenten. "You both tied your souls to the same path as Gaara, and so you descended with him. I don't mind telling you, by the way, that if you'd behaved as you did in life, you'd have fallen right back in."
Temari stood up. "Where is Kankuro? Where are the others who were climbing up with us?"
"Gone to some other afterlife, or perhaps reincarnated. They're not in our jurisdiction anymore," said Tenten. "You saved them."
Neji looked at Tenten in new life. "This was your plan all along?"
"Nope," said Tenten with a shrug. "I made it up as I went.
"You gotta understand, Neji, hell isn't just horrible. It's also incredibly fragile. A single act of kindness resounds across time and space like an act of cruelty never would. Being cruel to someone can cause them to become a better person in response. But being kind to someone almost never makes them worse.
"And before you ask, spoiling a child rotten doesn't count. That's not kindness. Giving someone too much can be just as bad as too little.
"Congratulations, Temari, you made it."
Temair blinked. "What, what do you mean I made it? You just finished telling me how completely awful a person I was."
"And you were," said Tenten. "But heaven is a pretty forgiving place. You were willing to risk your immortal soul to get your brother out and also to not deny those souls escape. Because of that, you've already become a far better person.
"You qualify to pass on to the next dimension."
Temari looked around. "And where is that?"
"Not in my jurisdiction, sorry," said Tenten. "I sort of have unfinished business."
"So what do I do?" asked Temari.
Tenten pointed to the door, which suddenly seemed to emanate glowing light. It was incomprehensibly bright and yet did not hurt the eyes. Neji tried to see through his Byakugan, but it was like... like what was behind was so dense he couldn't see through it. "Well, on a guess, I'd say you'd better walk through those doors over there. They'll take you to the next life."
"Right," said Temari, shifting. "Neji uh..."
"Yes?" asked Neji.
"As someone you murdered in cold blood, this is kind of weird to say but... thanks," said Temari.
Then she turned and walked toward the doors. Neji watched as she passed through the light. He looked to the tournament. "...I don't suppose I can leave now?"
"Sorry, Neji," said Tenten. "You've made a lot of progress. But I think you're waiting for something."
"For what?" asked Neji.
"How should I know?" asked Tenten. "I'm just your guardian angel."
Neji considered things. "...Why did Temari remember a different timeline?"
"Our souls are eternal, luminous things that exist beyond time and space, Neji," said Tenten. "When you look at the universe, the real universe, it's beautiful. The tiny impurities that seem so daunting to us when we're alive are so tiny.
"And all they do in the end is make a contrast that makes perfection that much greater."
"I never thought you were one to be profound," said Neji.
"Hey, give me a break; I ascended to a higher plane of existence," said Tenten. "You learn a thing or two."
Neji paused. "So why didn't you answer my question?"
Tenten sighed. "You and Temari both exist in a limitless number of timelines. We all do. What you remember right now is only a tiny fragment of the experiences we see. So have I.
"You get hints of those other lives now and then, but you can't fully experience them all at once. It may sound weird, but you have to be ignorant of some things in order to grow.
"Temari remembered the timeline her soul needed to remember for her enlightenment. That's all.
"If she remembered her own murder, she might never have been able to make the decision she wanted to. She'd have been repulsed from you and wouldn't be able to do what she did here. So, she remembered a timeline where there was a different matchup.
"So, should I start the next set of matches?"
Neji sighed. "Why not?
"I've got nothing better to do."
It did not seem he was going anywhere. But there was an opportunity to grow.