On the days that Snape was locked inside his room, Lupin reluctantly grew concerned with him. Severus had shown him emotions before with much resistance and the damage this could have caused on his lover would, maybe, be irreparable. Perhaps, in view of the circumstances, ex-lover would be a better word to describe it. Just the thought their relationship was potentially over was crushing to Remus.
The werewolf had also been crying, being way less skilled in concealing it from others than Snape. The silence coming from the potion's master was maddening, it could mean too many things. Sometimes Remus feared he was the author of a big emotional trauma to Severus and sometimes he would be unquiet and insanely worried this could get him arrested. And still, not a word from Snape.
When the Slytherin first showed up in the Great Hall a week after the incident, there was an unusual heaviness to his presence. Seemed like he was grieving, like a wave of strong emotions had bled him dry. It wasn't the type of sadness that makes people want to come closer to help, he was a cold spot in the room, a black hole where there was no light, as uninviting as he had ever been.
Even Lupin was afraid to talk to him. Feeling you are in trouble with Snape is something chilling. And this also made the werewolf think if that was the type of person he wanted to be with. It was not a matter of dealing with an intimidating person, there was also evil on him. Darkness in its pure form. Snape could be very disciplined on containing that part of his own essence, but it was something that would always be there. Nothing to be concerned about if you are on his good side, but what if suddenly, you are not? Would he be capable of doing something bad to you as revenge?
There was also this uncomfortable subject of whatever he was concealing on his forearm. They had been intimate so many times but it always had a heavy layer of glamour on it, a cloth, or his long sleeves. Remus knew for a fact it had to be related to the dark arts but what could it be? What kind of ritual, spell, potion did he attempt to perform? In exchange for what power? Was he part of… the Death Eaters? And if so, why would he push Lupin aside if accusing him of helping Black would mean they are both related to You Know Who? None of it made too much sense.
Maybe there are more groups for dark wizards than Remus cared to admit. Still, the eerie feeling Snape was capable of very dark magic was frightening, even when he was on his good side. Once, he was showing Lupin his personal stock of supplies. There were books there that would make most wizards uncomfortable just to look at. Some scraps of sigils hanging in the wall just behind an object and even though Lupin was terrible at potion-making, he recognized a very rare herb in a jar. It was known in pop culture to induce night terrors or to serve as a poison in higher dosages.
Needless to say, trusting Snape wouldn't do you harm was an all-or-nothing type of agreement. But it wasn't a fair one since he trusted no one in return.
Lupin believed himself to be in trouble when Professor McGonagall said Dumbledore was waiting for him in his office. So that was really it, Snape had jumped to conclusions without even hearing him and told Dumbledore. While walking to the statue, Remus felt betrayed and angry. Snape had many things to hide but he, who cared about Harry the most, was the one being accused of something he hadn't done. This was unfair. Severus would have to be very creative on his apologies if he even intended on being forgiven.
Once inside the office, Dumbledore greeted Remus and invited him to sit down. The headmaster was serious from the start, although he seemed to have a tendency to be on Lupin's side.
Dumbledore never disappointed in making someone's guard go down with his light presence and friendly voice. But Lupin knew he was called there for a reason.
"Harry informed me he is being taught how to produce the Patronus Charm. I assume you are his teacher" The older wizard said after some minutes of conversation
"I am, since that first night on the train it became clear to me he is more vulnerable than other students to the Dementors. I know it's an advanced type of magic but it is for his own protection" Lupin explained
"Remus, I see all the care you have for him and the students. How, many times, you give up your rest hours to give attention to some of them who are behind others in progress. How you give them the right to ask for reconsiderations in your scores. You see, you are the first defense against the dark arts teacher I have in a long time that seems to be eager to teach students how to defend themselves... without using a touch of dark magic in protective spells" Dumbledore said in a reflexive way
"I need to point out I have never been into this kind of magic. Or association. Overall, I hold a strong grudge against it. This is the very thing that got all my friends killed" Remus said in a quiet tone
The older Wizard used his long thin fingers to touch his chin and white beard. Soon looking straight into Lupin's eyes through his half-moon glasses.
"And how about Sirius Black? Has come to my knowledge you are keeping yourself well informed about his moves" Dumbledore said carefully
Remus felt anger consume his core, narrowing his eyes as a reflex. He took a deep breath and only then, answered.
"He was one of my best friends at school. I thought I knew him so well… A part of me is sincerely in denial up to this day. But I was just - as you said - keeping myself informed. Haven't seen or talked to him since his arrest and I myself am not sure of his innocence. All I care about is keeping Harry safe and away from him. I would never help him get inside the Castle or anything that could endanger the students and teachers"
Dumbledore gave him a brief nod in response.
"Very well, Remus. I believe in you. Therefore, you have nothing to fear about your position in Hogwarts, it is yours to keep. There will still be Wolfsbane for you, although I can't promise the additional ones you've been taking" Dumbledore announced to him in a more cheerful manner
"I have no intentions on asking for further favors either" The werewolf replied bitterly
"Your personal choices are your own, Remus. So are his. However, I must remind you that we all hold a responsibility to keep the students safe. Those are the very words I used to all my staff when the news started" Dumbledore said in a paused way
"I understand" Remus replied in the same bitter tone
"Now, if you allow me to switch into a less professional tone, Remus… How have you been? In the past week, I mean"
Making this transition from his Boss Dumbledore to the Dumbledore on the astrology tower was indeed difficult. However, Remus was broken-hearted and had no one who knew about them to talk about it.
"I'm not going to lie, Albus… It's been really tough. It was also a shock to me… Two days before all that we were together after I transformed back. He was kind, caring. I never remember things too clearly before I pass out in exhaustion but nothing unusual. I slept most of the following day and saw him just once. I went there after the Quidditch match to see him and he locked the door on my face. Didn't understand why until I went to my office. Haven't talked to him since"
Remus' reply left implicit how much he had been going through those days in his head.
"Given the fact you have my trust, Remus, and also forgiving my intrusion, Severus has never been confident in his skills to keep people close. You chose your friends when you were a student and maybe he felt that even with the evidence against Black, your preference wouldn't have changed" Dumbledore said in a calm tone
"Honestly, if he is jealous of a criminal I haven't seen in years and that possibly killed my friends, I also don't have anything else to say to him" Remus said matter-of-factly
Dumbledore observed Lupin was being incisive. The older wizard was growing secretly proud of him, almost like he could see Lupin's teenage version standing by his side on the very few occasions he ended up going to his office. Lupin had always presented a tendency to follow people's lead, he was most afraid of rejection. Seeing him stand his ground as an adult was oddly rewarding.
"Humm… Putting it that way, I guess I would think the same in your position. Loyalty is strongly valued between us, the Gryffindors" Albus said smiling. "I think we can handle many things, except for lack of trust. Or clarity. Or lack of freedom to act upon the calling we have in our hearts. I'd say we have good intuition to distinguish when this very calling comes from a benevolent source" Dumbledore said looking back at what seemed to be accumulated wisdom from many lifetimes
Remus felt a huge weight being lifted from his shoulders by listening to those words. He had been overthinking the whole week if anybody else would feel that way in his place. Always good to be reminded an entire house most likely would.
The werewolf suddenly felt something different take over him. Dumbledore noticed as well and was waiting for his explanation with patient eyes and posture.
"It's just… Nice to know my feelings are my own, not something caused by… Well, you know" He said in a low tone
"I'm in no position to instruct you in your own nature, Remus. But not taking you in as a student or a teacher would have been a huge loss to our magical community" The headmaster stated in his usual solemn tone. "Well... Regardless if you two ever get back together, you should know we also care for you, Remus. Minerva and I will always be here to talk and provide you company when you feel unwell. Or just casually, she will certainly come by for some tea tomorrow around five. You are invited to join us if you like"
Remus was insecure to accept his offer, it felt a bit awkward to spend time with them as friends given they were his teachers back in the day. But why not? Spending lots of time with Severus kept him from seeing other people much so far.
"Sure, I'll come by" Remus answered in a light-hearted way. "Also, thank you for listening to my side of the story"
Lupin got up and excused himself, everything was fine and solved with The Headmaster but it would be a lie to say it wasn't a nerve-wracking experience.
As soon as Remus left the office, a huge wave of relief made his fingertips feel light and extra tingly. Half of his concern was gone, the air was almost breathable like it was a week ago. Truth is, being a werewolf made him used to be fired for no good reason besides being who he was. It was great to know it wouldn't be the same in Hogwarts.
Betrayal was still on the back of his head, but now all he wanted was to take a nap and have the best rest of the last few days. He greeted a couple of students on his way to his room and as instantly as his eyes closed, he was asleep.
Minerva revealed herself in cat form a few moments after Lupin left the office. She got up from the cushion she was lying down behind a statue and jumped on the top of Dumbledor's table.
Dumbledore, having this type of permission to interact with her, used his long fingers to caress her head between the ears and run the fingers across her back, giving a final scratch in the lower back. Exactly the way cats love.
She gave him a tap with her head on the side of his arm and moved the tail accordingly. Quickly after, she jumped out of the table and transformed herself into a human.
"Thank you, Albus, I was waiting for that little scratch all week," she said turning around to see her long time friend
"No problem at all, Minnie. Oh to be a wizard with an animal transfiguration" he teased making her narrow his eyes
She made a gesture of straightening her robes.
"I told you already, Albus. It would be most inappropriate for me to provide such attention to Remus. We wouldn't feel comfortable" she said glancing him over her glasses
"Don't feel pressured, I just consider it to be a shame. You two could understand each other well on that matter" Dumbledore said playfully
"Remus is a sweetheart and I certainly enjoy his company but you should have seen the way he looked at that wild cat in the gardens last month," she said with a smile forming in the corner of their mouth
They exchanged looks and giggled.
"Too late to uninvite your natural enemy for tea, I suppose" Dumbledore teased her further
"Don't be silly! I'm delighted he will come to join us. But I'll have you know Severus gifted me a potion with catnip and ginger. Form your own alliances, Albus" she said almost giggling in the end once again
"So he's back into potion making thanks to you. A great thing you had a word with him for me. He is way too serious and shy to talk about private matters with me. And if you allow me to ask, what is this potion for?" Albus asked with a spark of curiosity in his eyes
"It is for me to apply the drops wherever I want. Makes my cushions from the couch so much cozier and well… good to roll over and stretch. The ginger was a touch of genius, I can apply it in my office and not feel sleepy" Minerva said excitedly
"Skilled, aren't they?" Dumbledore said proudly
"Oh, I never doubled them. Remus can probably handle all dark creatures from the forest and still help Christine with her homework in the meantime" she pointed out
"Oh no Minnie, you make your own alliances when he brings chocolate truffles tomorrow"
Everything seemed to be settling down inside the Castle. Some students would swear the atmosphere was a bit better that night, as a thick haze of misery had vanished away.
People were enjoying it but Dumbledore knew this could only mean one thing. Something had attracted the Dementors to move away from the Castle.
Before he could even talk to the other teachers or even let Minerva know about it, she showed up herself, bursting through the door.
"The Fat Lady, Albus. She was attacked! I'm locking all the doors at this very moment. Have you seen Harry?" She asked concerned
"I'll go to the Gryffindor tower right now. Find him!" He said standing up and instantly using his skills to apparate inside the castle
Lupin was awakened with fast and harsh knocks on the door. His soul almost fluttered out of his body when Snape entered the room without being invited with his wand pointing at him.
"And to think I trusted you with my all. To think I almost unlocked the door that day to let you explain yourself" Snape said angrily
Remus' wand was already on his hand since he had fetched it with a nonverbal spell and a hand movement. He pointed it back to Snape, angry on his bones.
"Maybe you should have, so you wouldn't make a fool out of himself. Dumbledore trusts me more than you ever did, apparently. We spoke today. I am the one that can't believe you are such a coward! You didn't have the nerve to talk to me before telling Dumbledore. You know what all this means to me. That is your problem, Severus! You always know how bad the outcome for me can be, and yet you never take that into consideration! I could have been expelled back in the day and I could have been fired now! All because you are scared to death of talking to me, of all people" Remus said venomously
Snape would normally have taken these harsh words coming from Remus with a very sorrowed face. He was still broken-hearted and as insecure as he had ever been. But Remus noticed his indifference to them, Snape was still possessed by anger and distrust.
"Practice your speech well while I take you to Dumbledor's office, again. The Fat Lady was attacked and she was very clear on her offender. She said Sirius Black is in the Castle" Snape spat back at him
"What is your problem with me?! I was with Dumbledore in the afternoon and stayed here the whole time after I was back! You can see I was sleeping! I'm not going anywhere to be accused by you!" Lupin shouted at him
"If you are not coming, you leave me with no choice" Severus warned him pointing his wand at him a little higher, right above the werewolf's eyes
"Oh you better lower that wand if you ever want to talk to me again," Remus said in disbelief
Severus hesitated for a moment.
"Legilimens!" Snape said conflicted
Only this time, Severus heard the protective spell coming from the other wizard before entering Remus' mind. The connection they held wasn't as deep as the last time but it was certainly not as brief as Lupin intended, although he was actively fighting against it. Snape was very skilled, even with Lupin trying to blur his most recent memories. It was almost cruel how Snape knew how to manipulate his mind so the memories would line up in the pattern he wanted to see. A pather Lupin didn't know he wanted to show him until that moment.
Turns out, even feeling betrayed, Lupin had a deep desired to prove his inocence. And also to prove how much he was hurt. The memories from the last days were seen by Snape almost like a dream before someone is awakened. Everything was distorted and clouded. There was no Sirius Black on the shadows, no recognizable voices. Lupin was manipulated to show him the gaps of time he wasn't teaching or being seen by others, therefore no alibi. Snape saw Lupin had been crying but could only experience a pinch of Lupin's feelings of betrayal and heartache, for the other wizard finally managed to banish him from his mind.
Once back to the present, Lupin took advantage that Severus was visibly troubled by not finding what the expect to see. Lupin opened his door with a hand movement and with it opened behind Severus, he cast another spell.
"Stupefy!" He exclaimed
And Snape was thrown out of his room, landing painfully on the floor on his back. He didn't let out any sound but his face was contorted in pain.
Remus walked furiously to his door to see his ex-lover on the ground in front of him.
"Don't you ever enter my room or my mind again! I am done with you! If Dumbledore wants to talk to me again I'll be right here" he said narrowing his eyes
Severus barely recognized Remus while he said those words. It was a horrible feeling to know he made such a kind-hearted man reach the point of literally hexing him out of his room. The same room they shared so many times.
Snape was speechless, finally shaken out of his anger. There was only room for resentment now. They attacked each other, nothing would ever be the same. He stood up, his wand lowered this time. But when he was about to say something, they both heard Filch's voice.
"There you two are! Professor McGonagall is asking for your help to seal the castle. She is on the second floor, taking care of the windows in the classrooms" he said with his poorly tuned voice
Snape took one step forward in Filch's direction but was interrupted.
"Not you! Him" he said pointing at Lupin with his crooked finger. "And Dumbledore wants you to guard the main gate and go to the Slytherin common room in one hour to fetch all the students. We'll all sleep at the Great Hall tonight" he said looking at Snape this time
"With your permission, then," Remus said sarcastically slamming the door of his bedroom, locking it and walking in their opposite direction
Severus took one last look at him before going his own way.
"I'm sorry" Snape thought to himself. "But I still don't trust you" he continued, not knowing if he ever would
Lupin found Professor McGonagall, she seemed deadly concerned about Harry. Remus hadn't seen him so he couldn't even soothe her. She was nervous beneath the surface, it was clear her desire was to go to the front line, not doing the sidequests in such a delicate matter. They covered and secured room by room, classroom by classroom.
She spent a good amount of time recasting a spell in a particularly long window with stained glass.
"Damn you, Severus, when I need your ancient banishing spells you decide to explode all the glass you touch" she muttered to herself after finishing that window
"I'm still here, you know," Lupin said finishing the last one on his side of the room
She turned her head, clearly, she wasn't aware of that.
"I'm sorry, Remus. Thought you were in the corridor already. Your spells are more than efficient, I wouldn't have requested your assistance if I thought differently" she said quickly in an apologetic way
"I didn't mean it that way…" Remus answered making up his mind if he wanted to know more
"Would you accompany me to the Gryffindor tower, Remus. They are so many, I could use an extra pair of eyes to help me escort the students to the Great Hall"
The werewolf nod and they started to walk through the castle, seeing the end of a line constituted by Ravenclaw students.
Remus couldn't get his mind to forget Minerva's words. He desperately wanted to know whatever he could about Severus in the past few days. He exchanged meaningful looks with her.
"Agh... What about the glass anyway?" He asked almost sounding mad for caring
"I shouldn't gossip around, especially in a night like this, but since I started it…" she said gradually lowering her tone. "Severus took some days off, as you might know. He was breaking all the glasses he touched. Couldn't bring himself to make one single potion without breaking a vial or container"
"Wait... What do you mean? Like dropping them or throwing them around?" Lupin frowned
"No Remus, dear…" She said touching his arm to finish explaining as they got closer to the frame the Fat Lady had once been. "He would hold one glass container on his hands... and his magic would make it explode against his will" she completed
Lupin didn't reply, he had no idea what to do with that information. Did it mean Severus was as broken-hearted as him? Certainly didn't seem like it a while ago.
"As a final note - I think I said too much already- he made me a potion by the end of the week. So I believe he is getting back to normal, but I couldn't trust him with securing the windows" Minerva said to conclude the subject
"Doesn't matter anymore. We are not getting back together"
Lupin made that statement trying to sound as numb as he could manage, he knew that after attacking his ex-lover nothing would ever be the same. He was starting to feel uneasy for hexing him that way, he had never been like this with anyone before. Not his friends, not his lovers. However, he never found it to be necessary. And this was definitely not something he would ever want to get used to.