My dear little broccolis💚💚💚

💚 So, it has been brought to my attention that some of you don't have access to Facebook and can't read Clary's diary entries. So here they are, just for your enjoyment. Remember that this is a diary, that must be read in addition to Sweetie, Let Me Give You The Daddy

As promised, new entry of Ana's diary ... Hope you will enjoy this first one ...

‼️DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T READ CHAPTER 22 ONWARD‼️ ️

~ 15th of January ~

SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! It's the second day on the row I'm sick in the morning! FUCK! I can't deal with that! I just can't! It's already hard enough to get Christian to give time to Grace, I can't even imagine a baby!

I mean … I wouldn't mind. As long as Jose is by my side to make the right call, I'm okay with that. And Grace already asked me why she didn't have a sibling. Until living with Christian, I managed to dodge the bullet, and since then, she's been suspiciously quiet about it.

I guess I could even go through the aftermath of the parturient. I'm in the same country as Jose. And the baby would have its family nearby in the worst of cases. But Christian … I don't want to have to remind him to spend time with his kid more than I already do. And I don't want to lie to another kid like I already do to Grace. Such as

"Daddy sent the piano teacher especially for you so you can play together on your birthday." When Christian had no involvement in that. Or ...

"Daddy brought you some sweets yesterday night so you can enjoy them after school."

Of course, I tell Christian all of that when he comes home, and he just nods, his head in his phone before kissing me and taking me to bed. I can't do that with another kid.

Thank God I already had an appointment with Dr Meyer for a simple checkup. He'll be able to tell me exactly if I am pregnant or not?

But what if I am? Should I get rid of it? I'm all for choice, but … I've always wanted the big family I didn't have growing up. And my catholic rabbits transformed into less than the average American household. What shall I do? Keep it, or not? I don't necessarily want to go back through the pain but … it wasn't so bad. It was after the problem. But this time I would be prepared, wouldn't I? And worst-case scenario, the Greys and Jose will take care of my babies. But then again, if I'm already considering the worst, maybe I shouldn't have this baby.

~ UPDATE ~

I'm not pregnant! Dr Meyer gave me the clear. Not pregnant, not STDs, engine running smoothly. And … I ran into Carrick after meeting with the good Dr Meyer. And we went to pick up Grace together, followed by Luke since Carrick knows how to drive like the rest of the functioning adults.

I wanted to learn in Seattle to be fair, but … I think I'll pass. Between the paparazzi and the bitchy Mom, I'd rather not have my life dissected about everything. Thank God Luke is nice to hang around with.

"So … shall I ask if I'm going to be a grandad soon again?" Carrick asks with a grin as he pulls out of the parking lot. I blush and shake my head.

"No, no. just the usual check-up."

He briefly glances at me. "Christian mentioned something at Christmas. He said you didn't want any more kids. I was under the impression that you wanted a big family."

I smile my best commercial smile, though I'm embarrassed Christian told his father about that as well. Gee. Did he tell him all about our sex life, and love life, and life in general?

"I changed my mind. My family is already complete with little Grace." I always feel odd not adding the little when talking to Christian's parents.

Carrick swiftly glances at me, and chuckles, "Christian is right, you have a mean poker face. But if I may, as a physician, or as your father in law, of sorts, it gets better."

I blink. Did Christian tell him that as well? Is this even normal to have this kind of conversation with your parents? Carrick smirks, that Grey smirk that I've already seen on both Christian's and Elliott's faces, and he says,

"The first one is usually the hardest one. We have been marvellously made, and the more something happens, the less you feel it. In a way, it's like the first paper cut you got, you probably wailed for hours, whereas now, you are desensitised."

I raise an eyebrow, really wondering if this OBGYN is trying to compare paper cuts to giving birth. He chuckles, and repeats, I said: "in a way". I'm not saying you're going to pop kids like you pop gum."

I look back at the road, not sure what to say, and he apparently reads in my mind, "You know, it's much more common than what people think. This whole cryptic pregnancy."

"And yet, I've never heard of it before."

"Because it's taboo. Just last year, I had two cases. But … well, that's a conversation for a late evening with a brandy. You know, why is society is the way it is and all of that. Bottom line is, you're not an oddity. There is some support group if you want. It's not an easy thing to go through."

I do consider it, before shaking my head. I don't want the bitchy moms, or the paparazzi to find out. Especially knowing what they would do with this information if they knew. But I smile to Carrick and gently squeeze his arm. It's nice to have someone who listens and knows what he's talking about.

As we get closer, he asked if I have already been against the SRBC, and I have to say, I have no idea what he's on about. He grins,

"When Elliott put the boys through school, the first year was awful. He was the only Dad who came daily, and he was single and rich. And since he turned down many Moms, they started gossiping about him and the boys. There is this group of moms he calls the Sexually Repressed Bitches Committee."

"Oh, the bitch squad … I don't think they like me either, but I like the SRBC."

"Don't listen to a word they say. Other parents always think they know better about your kid. YOU know better than anyone else, and that includes Christian, what's best for Grace. And we know you're doing amazing. I mean, the smile she has when she sees you, that's the smile of a happy and fulfilled child."

As he says that, he parks in front of Grace's school, and I hug him. It's nice to hear. I know Christian said the same a few nights ago, but … Carrick said it better. Probably because his wife surely already had a few doubts, and he knows how to calm them.

He gives me back my hug, and then looks at me like a kid, "Now, can I pick up Grace alone. I want to surprise her?"

.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.

💚Your thoughts and opinions are always welcomed💚

Love, Mina💚💚💚