Chapter 7

"Offline."

"I've got to get it upright!"

"Online and locked."

"ROSE. HOLD ON! HOLD ONNNN!"

"I can't Doctor. But don't worry. I don't die."

"ROSE!"

"I'll see you again my Love. I promise."

"I promise . . . I promise . . ." Rose awoke from what should have been a nightmare, but turned out to be a dream about hope. She wiped her hair off her face and frowned.

'Hmph. That was different!' she said to herself.

She hadn't felt as though she was falling as she normally did in the nightmare. This time she felt as though she was flying, and remembered Woody from "Toy Story" saying that flying was falling with style. There was something else as well, as though something hidden inside her was helping her. That was crazy she decided, and got out of bed.

It was another boring Sunday, but instead of putting some clothes on, she put her new swimming costume on and looked at herself in the mirror, turning left and right. She ran her hand down her flat abdomen, and turned away to look at her bum over her shoulder. No, she'd still got her pert bum she decided. She slipped on her full length bathrobe, grabbed a towel from the en-suite, and headed for the basement.

When you entered Tyler House through the front door, the grand staircase was directly in front of you, rising to a landing which then branched left and right to ascend to the west and east wings of the house. To the right of the grand staircase, under the first landing, used to be a door which led down to the basement vaults. Unbeknown to everyone in the house, Pete's wife had made an ill fated journey down those stairs to escape the Cybermen.

That was all gone now though, replaced with a passageway under the landing, and a set of double doors which opened onto a staircase below the grand staircase. Rose went through the doors, and the lights came on automatically, showing a set of glass doors at the bottom. She descended the stairs and passed through the glass doors into what looked like a modern health spa. The columns and arches had been clad in marble, and lit with wall lights and spot lights. It was very posh.

She put her towel on one of the round patio tables and draped her bathrobe over the back of a chair. She went to the handrail of the steps and dipped her toe in the water. The temperature was perfect, and she lowered herself into the water. She dipped down and pushed away from the edge, pulling herself through the water. She hadn't been for a swim since she had been . . . in the TARDIS. She'd forgotten how good it felt. She swam a few lengths, and then noticed at the far end that there was a big red button on the poolside.

"Who exactly are you?"

"Well, that's the question."

"I DEMAND TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE!"

"I DON'T KNOW! See, there's the thing. I'm the Doctor, but beyond that, I just don't know. I literally do not know who I am. It's all untested. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy? Right old misery? Life and soul? Right handed? Left handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward? A traitor? A liar? A nervous wreck? I mean, judging by the evidence, I've certainly got a gob. And how am I going to react when I see this, a great big threatening button. A great big threatening button which must not be pressed under any circumstances, am I right? Let me guess. It's some sort of control matrix, hmm? Hold on, what's feeding it? And what've we got here? Blood? Yeah, definitely blood. Human blood. A Positive, with just a dash of iron. Argh, but that means blood control. Blood control! Oh, I haven't seen blood control for years. You're controlling all the A Positives. Which leaves us with a great big stinking problem. Because I really don't know who I am. I don't know when to stop. So if I see a great big threatening button which should never, ever, ever be pressed, then I just want to do this."

Rose pressed the "great big non-threatening" button, and felt a current of water from the far end of the pool. It was the swim-against-the- current pump which Mickey had mentioned, and she started to swim against the current. She swam for about an hour, before letting the current carry her to the shallow end, where she hit the button again and climbed out. She wiped herself down with the towel and slipped on her bathrobe, before creating a "towel turban" on her head. All that swimming had given her an appetite. She was ready for breakfast.

'Hiya Babe,' Mickey said as Rose walked into the dining room. He was reading the back page of the Sunday newspaper which contained the sports news.

'Mornin' Sweetheart,' Jackie greeted her. 'How was your swim?'

'It was great, thanks Mum.'

She helped herself to some toast off the Lazy Susan and spread some marmalade on it. As she poured a glass of orange juice, Mickey turned over the paper and started reading the front page.

'How was the E-pad?' Pete asked.

'It's brilliant. Thank you ever so much,' Rose said with a smile.

Mickey opened the paper to read the next page. 'Oh look. There's a photo . . . Ah.'

'What is it, Mickey?' Jackie asked.

Mickey quickly closed the paper. 'Er, nothin'.'

This made everyone suspicious.

Rose playfully snatched the paper from him. 'It must be somethin'. You said there was a pho . . . Oh shit!'

'What is it, Sweetheart?' Jackie asked with concern.

Rose held up the paper and turned it around so they could all see it. There was an article with a title which asked, "WHO'S THAT GIRL?". And under that was a photograph of her and Jackie standing on the pavement outside Henrick's as they waited for their car to pull up alongside them. The subtitle read, "Celebrity spouse Jackie Tyler, wife of Vitex boss Pete Tyler is back in town with a mystery girl in tow. Her daughter, Rose."

Jackie cast an icy look at her husband. 'Pete! They can't do that. That's an invasion of privacy!'

Pete had a lopsided smile on his face. 'They can do that, because you were in a public place.'

'But it's not right!' Rose exclaimed, almost in tears. 'I didn't give 'em permission to take my photo. An' I certainly didn't give 'em permission to print it in a national newspaper.'

'I'm afraid it's freedom of the press,' Pete explained. 'Jacks is famous, and that makes you famous by association. The paparazzi hang around department stores, restaurants, and hotels which they know the rich and famous frequent.' He took the paper and looked at the photograph. 'The guy who took this must have thought Christmas had come early.'

'An' you're alright with it, are ya?' Jackie asked in an annoyed tone.

'No. But I am used to it. It used to happen all the time before Jackie . . .' He faltered, and then recovered. 'She used to collect the articles like trophies. In fact, she was disappointed if she didn't get a mention at least once a month.'

'Oh great! As if I haven't got enough goin' on at the moment,' Rose said. She stood up and stormed out of the dining room.

'Rose? Rose!' Jackie called after her. 'Bloody typical. She was doin' so well an' all. Goin' out Friday night, shoppin' trip yesterday, an' then this happens . . . Pete, give Alice a call an' get her to phone Rose. She might be able to talk her down.'

Pete kissed Jackie on the cheek. 'Good idea.'

Rose stormed into her room and slammed the door. 'Bastards!'

She went over to the windowsill seat and "flumped" down heavily on the cushioned seat. "How dare they", she thought. "Who do they think they are?". "What gives them the right?". What the hell was she doing in this universe anyway? It was the Doctor's fault.

"By the way, did I mention it also travels in time?"

When she'd said "no", why didn't he just go and leave her alone?

"You can't let them run around inside of dead people."

"Why not? It's like recycling."

"Seriously though, you can't."

"Seriously though, I can."

"It's just wrong. Those bodies were living people. We should respect them even in death."

"Do you carry a donor card?"

"That's different. That's . . ."

"It is different, yeah. It's a different morality. Get used to it or go home."

'Yeah. I should 'ave gone home then,' Rose muttered. 'Wouldn't be stuck 'ere then would I?' She looked out of the window. 'WHERE THE HELL ARE YA?' she shouted at the world outside. 'I'm gettin' sick of waitin' 'ere for ya.' Tears started to flow down her cheeks. 'I don't want to be here.'

"Now, forget me, Rose Tyler. Go home."

'How can I forget you . . ? I love you.'

Her mobile phone on the table started to ring. She went over to the table and looked at the display which told her it was Alice.

'Hello, Alice.'

['Rose. Pete's just told me about the newspaper . . . Are you okay?']

'Oh just brilliant, yeah. I'm thinkin of doin' a centrefold for Playboy next.'

['You're angry. I understand that . . .']

'Angry? Angry! Angry doesn't even cover it. I'm, I'm . . .'

['ROSE!'] Alice's tone of voice cut through the red mist that had descended on Rose. ['Rose. All the pent up anger and frustration has finally broken out. It's like a volcano. You've managed to keep it together, but all the time the magma has been rising.']

Rose took some shuddering breaths. 'Oh Alice . . . I, I was shoutin' . . . at 'im. I was blamin' 'im . . .' She was openly crying now.

['I'm coming over,'] Alice told her.

'No. No, y'don't have to,' Rose told her.

['Yes-I-do. And get your tracksuit on. We're going for a run.']

Rose's and Alice's feet were pounding the tarmac in rhythm as they ran along Capital Ring.

'This is nice,' Alice said as they ran through the trees.

'Yeah. S'pose,' Rose said sullenly.

Alice wasn't going to be put off by her patient's downturn in spirits. 'So. Tell me about your week before today happened. How's it been?'

'Pretty routine really,' Rose told her, and saw by Alice's expression she wanted more. 'I'd get up, have a shower, get dressed and go down for breakfast.'

'You're eating meals with the family now?'

'Yeah. Oh, an' I had a sandwich in the kitchen with Maggie and Jenny one day,' Rose remembered.

'That's great, Rose. You're doing well,' Alice told her. 'And how are the nightmares and flashbacks?'

'I still get the flashbacks, but they don't seem as intense . . . I still get the same nightmare of fallin' into the breach, although . . .'

'Yes?' Alice prompted.

'This mornin', I went from fallin' to flyin', an' I told the Doctor not to worry 'cos I wasn't dead and that I'd see 'im again because . . .' Rose paused at the last part of her dream.

'Because what?' Alice probed. This could be important.

'I told him I loved him,' Rose confessed.

'Good. Good . . . So what do you think the falling turning to flying meant?' Alice asked her.

'Hey. You're the psychologist,' Rose said with some humour.

'You're the one who's having the nightmares,' Alice retorted with a laugh. 'How did it make you feel, being able to fly?'

Rose frowned in concentration, and then her face lit up. 'I felt in control. I wasn't fallin' out of control, I was flyin' on my terms. I was in control.' She remembered "Toy Story". 'I was fallin' with style.'

Alice laughed. 'Hah! Perfect. And you're right. You ARE in control, you just don't realise it yet. That's what the dream was trying to convey.'

'Morning,' the man with the Labrador said as they ran past.

'Mornin' / Morning,' they called back.

'Oh, hello there,' Alice said, stopping to ruffle the dogs ears. Rose joined her and patted the dog's side. He was lapping up the attention.

'Hang on. Aren't you the young lady in the paper?' the man said to Rose.

'Er, got to carry on runnin'. Nice to see you again,' Rose said and jogged away.

Alice gave the man an embarrassed smile. 'It's her, yes. She's a bit shy . . . Sorry.'

'No. It's me who should be sorry for intruding. Tell her I'm sorry, and I won't mention it if I see her again,' the man said.

Alice ran to catch up with Rose. 'He seemed nice.'

'Yeah. I've only met him the once when I first ran through here,' Rose explained.

'He said sorry for intruding and he won't mention it again,' Alice told her.

Rose pulled up and looked at Alice. 'I was rude, wasn't I?'

'A little bit abrupt, more than rude,' Alice said. 'I told him you were shy.'

"I wanted to be ginger. I've never been ginger . . .

And you, Rose Tyler, fat lot of good you were.

You gave up on me.

Oh, that's rude.

That's the sort of man I am now, am I?

Rude.

Rude and not ginger."

Alice saw the far away look in Rose's eyes and the hint of a smile on her lips. 'Flashback?'

'Yeah. A nice one again,' Rose said. They were nearly at Muswell Hill Road, so Rose walked to the entry of the wood. 'This thing with the papers . . . It just feels so intrusive.'

'Like you've been violated,' Alice said.

'Yeah. A violation of my right to privacy. I keep thinkin' there's gonna be a photographer behind every tree, or a telephoto lens trained on my bedroom window. I think I'm becomin' paranoid.'

The pedestrian lights indicated it was safe to cross, and they jogged into Highgate Wood.

'I'll have a word with Pete tomorrow,' Alice said. I think the PR department needs to put out a statement. It won't stop you being famous, but it might quell some of the insatiable curiosity about you.'

As they jogged along, Rose was convinced that dog walkers in the distance were doing double takes and looking at her.

'So, we were talking about your week,' Alice prompted.

'Oh, yeah. So I had a lunch in the kitchen. An' the house manager, Alistair came and sat with me in the garden while I was writin' in my diary.'

'He seems like a nice man,' Alice said with a hint of a smile. 'Pete told me he had some trauma while he was in the army.'

'Yeah. He was tellin' me all about it. Lost his fiance in an ambush. An' I think I've got problems,' Rose said.

'Oh, the poor man. Pete didn't elaborate on the circumstances,' Alice said. 'I hope he got proper counselling . . . Sorry. Going off on a tangent there. Carry on.'

'Friday night, Mickey invited me down the pub with the house staff.'

'I hope you went,' Alice said, knowing full well what Mickey had said to her.

'I wasn't goin' to. But then I thought about it, an' I'd already spoken to them in the week, an' they seemed really nice, so I thought why not.'

'And did you enjoy yourself?' Alice asked.

'Yeah. I did . . . I really enjoyed myself. Me an' Mickey started tellin' 'em about life on the Estate, an' things didn't seem so bad.'

Alice reached over as they jogged along and put a hand on Rose's shoulder. 'Well done Rose. You are finding ways of coping with your new situation.'

'Hmmm. I s'pose I am, yeah. An' then yesterday, Mum took me shoppin', which is when those bastards took the photos,' Rose said bitterly.

'Did you enjoy the shopping though?' Alice asked, redirecting Rose's annoyance.

Rose laughed at the memory. 'Mum was lappin' up the attention . . . just like that dog back there . . . Not that I'm callin' Mum a dog you understand. An' there was this bloke, Justin, our personal shopper. He was hilarious, an' he didn't realise he was hilarious, which made it worse.' Alice was laughing with her as she told the tale of Justin, the personal shopper. 'Our Henrick's was never that posh,' Rose finished with a wistful expression.

'So, apart from the unexpected notoriety, how would you say things are going?' Alice asked.

Rose was silent while they jogged along and she thought about the question. 'I still think he'll come back for me. I mean, we know travel between universes is possible. I'm proof of that.'

'It's good to have hope, yes. But don't be despondent if it takes longer than you think. You can still get on and do things while you wait,' Alice advised, trying to encourage Rose to look to the future.

'Yeah. Okay. The nightmares don't seem as intense, so I hope that continues to improve. An' the flashbacks are bringin' back memories of the good times. I still get a sense of loss, but it's not as strong as it was.'

'That seems like a good summary,' Alice said.

'I'm just feelin' a bit guilty now about blamin' the Doctor for me bein' stuck here,' Rose confessed.

''You were upset and vulnerable. Someone had invaded your private space while your guard was down. Anger is a natural reaction, and you needed somewhere to direct that anger. You can put it behind you now and move on.'

'I s'pose, yeah. But how am I ever gonna be able to go out again?'

'Let me have a think about that and I'll get back to you,' Alice said mysteriously.