Author's Note: HEHE I HAD SOME FUN WITH THIS ONE, NGL. OMFGFINISEBHFA I CAN'T WAITTT TO WRITE THE FUCKING TOWER, OMGIDFHNDFHNBFBEABIDWAYGD SHHHHIRTLESSSS- YUMYUMYUYMU-
Warning: Swearing, mention of blood and gore
Disclaimer: Bruh, I don't own Hunter x Hunter, all rights go to Yoshihiro Togashi. Please support the official release!
Continued...
"Oh no, sorry. That must sound horrible," he apologized. "Nope!" I replied as Gon responded negatively with, "Mm-mm. But I've gotta say, it was actually pretty exciting back there." Kurapika let out a confused, "Huh?" Gon continued, "I was so scared that all I wanted to do was run away. But I couldn't. Because I was excited at the same time. Isn't that weird?" He chuckled as he turned back to Kurapika. I gave him and amused smile and shook my head. "I was literally. About to piss myself. Goddamn, that was horrifying. But...I won't deny, it was pretty thrilling to act so recklessly for once," I admitted. Kurapika blinked at us in disbelief but continued running, the three of us just wanting to reach the Second Phase already.
The three of us eventually reached the others, most of the participants out of breath and on the ground. "Looks like we made it in time," Kurapika commented. "But where's Leorio?" Gon muttered as we scanned the crowd. Gon suddenly gasped and turned to the side. I spotted Hisoka standing against a tree, but no Leorio in sight. He gave us a smile and pointed to his right with a long nail. We looked in that direction to see Leorio sitting against a tree, still shirtless with a swollen bruised cheek. "There he is!" Gon said. "Leorio!" I gasped and ran over worriedly, the other two following me. Gon placed his suitcase in front of him as I fretted over his injury. "Are you okay?! Does it hurt? I don't know how to deal with wounds like that but- I dunno!" I rambled worriedly. He smiled up at me before his eyes widened at my own bleeding wound. "Hey what happened to you?" He asked in concern before rubbing his swollen cheek and wincing in pain. "Um..." I looked over at the other two who shrugged. "I slipped while running on mud and cut my cheek on a rock," I lied with a nervous smile. "What? Damn, that looks really bad for falling on a rock...I'll patch you up in a second, alright?" Leorio told me reassuringly. I smiled and nodded before pointing to his own cheek with a frown. "You didn't answer my question though...Are you okay?" "Ah, Thank you for worrying about me, but I'm alright. Tch, man this stings though! I don't even know how I got so beat up!" The three of us gasped at his words and looked at each other. "My memory's so hazy, I can't remember," Leorio sighed. Kurapika leaned over to us and cupped a hand over his mouth. "We probably shouldn't tell him what happened," he whispered. "Yeah..." I agreed. "You're right," Gon said with a smile.
Leorio quickly treated my wound, disinfecting it with a liquid before smoothing a band aid over it. I gently rubbed my cheek with a grateful smile. "Thanks, Leorio! Oh man, I wish you were my personal doctor! You're so good at treating wounds!" I beamed, patting his bare shoulder. He rubbed the back of his head, his cheeks flushing at my praise as he put away his stuff in his suitcase. "Heh, it was nothing. I was just helping a friend," he said bashfully. I giggled and was about to tease him some more before a voice interrupted me. "Gon! (Y/n)!" Killua called out from behind us. We turned to see him walking towards us, skateboard in his arm. "Killua!" Gon and I waved. "I was starting to think you two weren't gonna make it here. Or that you didn't make it at all," Killua smiled. Gon and I walked up to him with a smile. "I just followed the trail of Leorio's cologne!" Gon told him. Killua's eyes widened in shock. "You tracked his scent? That's how? Man, Gon! You really are weird, aren't you?"
I giggled at their moment together before Satotz's voice rang out, "Excellent work, everyone! The Second Phase will take place here, in the Visca Forest Park. So, I shall now take my leave. I wish you all the very best of luck." We all watched as he began walking off into the forest behind us, same puppet-like moment as before. We turned around at the sound of something rumbling. We looked to see the large gates of the wall in front of us open, revealing a giant mansion with a bunch of kitchen counters in front of it. "Will all of the applicants who passed the First Phase please enter?" A feminine voice called out. We walked in to see a large man behind a very attractive turquoise-haired female reclining on a large chair. "Welcome, all! I'm Menchi, your examiner for the Second Phase," she greeted with a smile. "And likewise, I'm Buhara!" The large man introduced, just as friendly. We stared at them for a moment in silence before Buhara's stomach rumbled loudly. "What was that noise?" Someone asked as everyone began whispering. I slapped a hand to my mouth in order to hold in a laugh. 'NOOOOOO THAT'S SO FUCKED UPP! I'D BE SO EMBARRASSED WHY WOULD THEY SAY THAT!?' I internally screamed in laughter.
Menchi looked up at Buhara, "Sounds to me like you're getting hungry." "Not just hungry, I'm famished!" Buhara replied. Menchi stood up and faced us. "Well, there you have it. The Second Phase...!" she paused dramatically before suddenly pointing a finger out into the crowd. "-will be cooking!" Several applicants' eyes widened. "Wait...we're cooking?" Hanzo exclaimed. "Awe hell yeah!" I grinned, excited for this challenge. "What do you mean, we're cooking? We came here to take the Hunter Exam," Todo the wrestler said angrily. "That's right. The Second Phase of the exam will be preparing a meal that'll satisfy our palates," Menchi replied. "Why do we have to cook?" Some guy asked. "Don't you know? It's simple really, because we're Gourmet Hunters!" She replied with a spark in her eye. Todo let out a, "huh?" before laughing aloud, causing the others to follow. "Talk about a let-down! You hear that? They're Gourmet Hunters!" I glared at the other participants before rolling my eyes. "AYE! YA'LL BITCHES BETTER SHUT THE FUCK UP! YA'LL ACTING LIKE YOU'RE BETTER THAN THEM WHEN MOST LIKELY, MOST OF YA'LL AIN'T EVEN GONNA BECOME HUNTERS!" I yelled angrily. "Mufuckin' bitches, eugh," I scoffed, rolling my eyes. The participants stopped and gave me dirty looks. I glared right back as I heard them talking shit about me. Kurapika sighed, "You never think before acting, do you?" Killua and Gon gave me a cheeky thumbs up while Leorio buttoned up his shirt, and smiled in amusement, "She never does have a filter, huh?"
I grinned lazily at them and called out to Menchi and Buhara, who looked over at me in surprise. "Sorry for them, but what do you want us to make for this phase?" I asked with a smile. Menchi blinked at me before grinning and putting her hands on her hips. "I like you, kid! Anyways, as I was saying. Buhara?" He stood up and proudly announced, "Today's required ingredient will be pork!" "Pork? You mean like...pig meat?" Some guy questioned. "Feel free to use meat from any species of pig in Visca Forest. As you see, you'll use these cooking facilities to prep your pork dishes. To pass the exam, you must create a dish to satisfy our discriminating palates," Buhara replied. "But we won't be evaluating taste alone. So take this seriously. Is that clear?" Menchi added. "When we've both eaten our fill, this portion of the exam will be over," she finished. Todo waved his hand dismissively, "Okay, enough talk. Let's just get to it, alright?" "Let the exam's Second Phase..." Buhara said eagerly before slapping his large stomach, making a loud gong sound. "...begin!"
Everyone rushed to the forest, ready to hunt for some pigs. I walked through the field with my four boys, looking around for any sign of a pig. "We gotta catch a pig and cook it, huh? Man, this is way easier than the First Phase," Leorio chuckled. "I just hope it's that simple," Kurapika said. Gon spotted something and slid down a hill, causing us to follow behind. Killua immediately followed, jumping down and yelling, "Wahooo!" The rest of us looked at each other before I shrugged and grinned cheekily, motioning towards the hill. "Why don't y'all go first?" Kurapika squinted at me suspiciously before Leorio shrugged and sat down, sliding off as well. "Hehe, here we go!" I chirped, waving at Kurapika before sitting down and pushing myself off, sliding right behind Leorio. It didn't take long before I bumped face-first into his back, hearing Killua and Leorio groan. I took this little 'accident' as a moment to inhale his scent as I lifted my head off of his back. 'Is this creepy? Yeah, it's pretty creepy. Man, I'm a weirdo when it comes to people I like.'
"Oops! Sorry guys-! Oof!" I apologized before feeling Kurapika shove into my back as well, cue grunts. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Killua growled in the front. "I found them," Gon said. I looked up to see- "Pigs!" Leorio exclaimed. "Ho-ly shit..." I said with wide eyes. They were HUGE, holy fuck was it much scarier up-close than watching it on a screen. The one a few ways away from us crunched on a bone of some cow, I assumed, snorts all around us. "They're all...chewing on bones," Leorio realized. "Don't tell me...they're carnivores?" Kurapika said. The pig snapped the bone in his mouth before letting out a loud, monstrous squeal as steam puffed from his over-large snout. Leorio and I proceeded to scream as we all scrambled up and ran off, the pigs chasing after us. Leorio panted as we ran, the ground shaking beneath us as the pigs charged behind us angrily. We approached the other examinees, all looking up to see what the commotion was about. Unfortunately for them, they all got slammed into by the pigs. Leorio and I watched them fly behind us, screaming. "These pigs are insane!" Leorio yelled.
We all split up, each taking a pig with us as we ran. "BE CAREFUL GUYSS!" I screamed behind me as I ran off, the pig chasing me. "Shitshitshitshit!" I chanted worriedly, glancing behind me before yelping in fright as the pig's wild predatory eyes glared back at me. "Oh yeah! The top of their head!" I gasped in realization before running up to a sturdy tree and hurriedly climbing it, watching as the pig charged right into it. It appeared unsettled as it came to a stop, and I took this chance to jump onto its forehead. I kicked off and landed in front of it, watching in guilt as it squealed in pain before passing out. "Oh, I'm sorry poor piggy..." I said sadly as the others watched me. They all grew grins on their faces as they followed me, attacking the pig's head and knocking them out successfully. Squeals of pain rang out throughout the entire park, making me flinch and squeeze my eyes shut at the horrible noises. Thankfully, it ended, and everyone picked up their pigs and rushed back towards the gates in order to begin cooking. Surprisingly, I was able to carry my own pig with little to no effort, so it was no big deal! As I claimed a random cooking facility next to some strangers, I set my pig on my unlit grill and watched as everyone around me immediately began grilling their pigs, working hard to turn them over in the fire. I sighed to myself and looked down at the dead pig next to me. 'Instead of grilling the whole pig like the others...I guess I can mix it up by slicing it up and grilling the pork chops, no?' And so, I set to work, removing my gloves and fortunately finding a long apron in the bottom cupboard of the counter. I rolled the pig onto its back and cutting open the stomach using a butcher's knife provided to me. Others watched either in curiosity or disgust as I became a bloody mess, however no one bothered to interrupt me, which I was thankful for. I looked at the intestines of the pig, wondering if I should just discard them or cook them altogether.
In the end, I decided to say, "Fuck it!" and grill all the intestines. While they cooked over a fire, I made to work slicing up good portions of the meat and fat. Todo was the first to finish, rushing up to Menchi and Buhara with his giant grilled pig. I glanced at the burnt top of the body and squinted at it. '...Did he burn the fucking pig? Bruh...' I leaned against the counter, figuring that I'd watch this play out since I was waiting for the intestines to finish cooking. "Now, eat the pig and send me to the next phase," Todo said, spreading his arms wide as he presented his dish. "Okay, time to judge," Menchi shrugged. "Taste-testing!" Buhara dug in, chuckling happily and holding up a red circle, meaning he approved of it. I watched in amusement as Todo nodded cockily before a negative buzzer sound rung, making him look up in confusion. Menchi, however, held up a small sign with a blue 'X'. "The pork's overcooked. It's way too tough, it totally ruins the flavor," Menchi sighed. "Come on! You haven't even tried it!" Todo protested. "I don't have to! It's obvious!" Menchi yelled, pointing her X sign at him. I watched in increasing disappointment as one after another, each applicant presented the same old pig, same old technique, same old results. Of course they each had something different that was wrong with the food, but they still all received a negative from Menchi. "...Who the fuck taught these people how to cook?! Everyone's literally just roasting the pig in the same way, no flavor, no effort, nothing!" I said to myself in disbelief. "These people wanna be Hunters, and yet they can't even cook a decent pork dish? Bruh..." I deadpanned before returning to my work.
Almost everyone around me had lined up to present their grilled pigs, watching me as I worked by myself to cook the pork. By the end of my cooking, I had prepared a dish consisting of porkchops with a side of pig intestines, all grilled and seasoned with rosemary, lemongrass, and some kind of salt (Of course I couldn't read the fucking labels since I didn't understand the hxh language, but I did some taste testing!) as well as with a side of grilled lettuce. In the end, I think it turned out pretty good! Save for me, my once-clean apron was stained with blood, my face dirty from oils and sweat and blood, and my socks ended up a little stained. ...I looked pretty gory. Still, it was all worth it for the meal I prepared. As I walked over with my dish, I noticed Leorio, Gon, and Kurapika already in front of me with their own dishes. I peeked over as Leorio went up first, presenting his...!
...Grilled pig with a flag stabbed onto it. "Tell me how much you love it," he said confidently. I smiled sympathetically at the scene. 'Oh Leorio...I love you, but this is probably the stupidest thing you've done so far around me.' I watched as Menchi threw up the dish in a rage, "IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE A KID'S MEAL!?" Gon went up next, his pig covered in bows and pretty flowers. "okay, mine is next!" He said as he presented his dish. I snorted and thought, 'I mean, that pig does look very pretty! But...' Menchi swatted it away, "IT'S JUST LIKE THE LAST ONE!" Kurapika finally went up, presenting his pig sliced us and containing...pineapples, lettuce, and tomatoes? '...What?' I tilted my head. "The next entry's mine, ready to be judged," he said, extending his arms. Menchi looked down at the dish with a raised brow. "Well, finally, something that resembles and actual dish," she grunted before taking a bite. I watched in suspense as she chewed it. She threw the plate up in the air in anger. "GROOOOSSS!" She yelled. Kurapika gasped in shock before Menchi began to explain. "Presentation is important, but not at the expense of the flavor. You're basically no better than number 403!" She thrusted her X sign at him, dismissing Kurapika.
And finally, it was my turn. But as I placed my dish in front of them..."That was so much food! I couldn't take another bite," Buhara chuckled, patting his bloated stomach. "Yeah, I'm pretty stuffed myself," Menchi sighed. "Oh- um...?" I said quietly, drawing their attention. "So did I...fail?" I questioned. Menchi sighed and looked down at my dish. "As much as that does look appetizing, unfortunately time is up. And we're stuffed, kid. Sorry." I sighed in disappointment but nodded and walked away from the table, leaving my dish and stepping down the stairs before walking over to Leorio, Gon, and Kurapika. "Awe, sorry you didn't get to have yours judged, (Y/n)! I saw how you were working hard on your dish!" Gon said, trying to comfort me. The others nodded. "Indeed. Utilizing the entire pig itself, inside and out...I should've thought of that," Kurapika sighed. "Yeah, that was some skill you have there. You'd make a good wife!" Leorio praised. I flushed at the praise, my face steaming red at Leorio's words. Gon looked over at me with a cheeky grin as Leorio said that last part, making me give him a playful glare in return. "Awe man, shut up y'all! I'm bouta' cry," I joked, waving my hand at them dismissively. 'I'D COOK FOR YOU EVERY DAY, EVERY NIGHT IF YOU WANTED, LEORIO! I'D GLADLY BE YOUR WIFE!' I mentally squealed, feeling my breathing go quicker and my face burn at the thought.
"So, none of you passed to the next phase. Exam's over!" Menchi called out. Everyone groaned in disappointment, others gathering in front of them. "Nobody passed?" "Seriously?" "Does she really mean that?" "Wait, so the exam's over?" People said in disbelief. "You gotta be kidding!" A familiar voice said before a loud crash drew everyone's attention. Todo had destroyed his kichen counter, the water spurting from the ground. "This is unacceptable. Do ya hear me? I will not accept this!" He yelled. "Say what you want, but you still failed," Menchi sighed. "Shut the hell up! You asked for pork and we gave it to you! We risked our lives just so-!" "Your challenge was to prepare a pork dish that both examiners would find delicious, and none of you even came close to succeeding. You all did pretty much the exact same thing, save for one applicant who I didn't even get to sample since the rest of you decided that as long as you gave us some kind of pig, the dish itself wouldn't matter! It's like you didn't even try to figure it out! And when it looked like you had tried, it was just fancy plating with no flavor to back it up! It's clear that almost none of you took this seriously!" Menchi explained angrily.
"Yeah, but come on, pork? No matter how you cook it, it's still pork," Hanzo sighed. He gasped as Menchi grabbed him by the scarf and yelled, "You wanna say that one more time?! If I hear any more crap from you, I'll shove my arm up your ass, and knock your teeth out! Got it!?" "PERIODD!" I cackled, clapping my hands and nodding in approval. "BAD BITCH TYPE BEAT!" I cheered as she continued to yell in his face. She finally let go before plopping back onto her chair, crossing her leg over the other as she sighed, "So, as I was saying, only one of you has the guts to cook anything remotely new or innovative!" "HEY! SHUT UP! I'm not here because I'm trying to be some gourmet cook, but a Hunter!" Todo yelled, pointing a finger at her. "That's right, Todo! You tell her!" The other cheered him on. I looked at them in disgust and disbelief. "Guys...Guys- don't hold me back," I said with a dark look on my face. "Oh boy! (Y/n)'s angry for once, this is a first!" Gon said in surprise as the others nodded, watching me with wide eyes as I slowly made my way over to Todo. "My goal is to become a Bounty Hunter and no stupid Gourmet Hunter is gonna tell me I ca- AH!" Todo growled before letting out a high-pitched cry of pain. He fell to his knees, clutching his crotch painfully as he looked over his shoulder to see me standing over his shoulder with a cold look on my face. "You know what's funny?" I muttered darkly, staring down at him. "Men always complain about women needing to shut up for being so chatty, but I think men should keep their fucking mouths shut if they know what's good for them," I said intensely, staring at him with wide, angered eyes. "If you weren't prepared for hard challenges, why are you even taking this exam in the first place? Get real, trash."
It was almost humorous watching the other applicants back away from my form in fear, watching as Todo trembled on his knees. Menchi let out a chuckle, "Thank for that, number 406. But please don't interfere next time." I looked up at her and nervously chuckled, rubbing my cheek. "Hehe, sorry! But I feared that his behavior would lead to him attacking you. Of course I know you can hold your own, but I figured that my actions were just a small warning compared to what you would've done to him!" I chirped before walking back to my friends, a skip in my step. "You're probably right," Menchi laughed before she held out large knives in her hands as she stepped down onto the stairs. "Let's get this straight." '-I'm not, LMAO-' "We frequently venture into the dens of ferocious beasts in search of the finest ingredients." She held up her knives before tossing them up and rotating both the knives around her and the knives itselves to spin while doing so. I watched her movements in awe, fascinated by her skills as she continued, "And every Hunter is proficient in at least some form of martial art. You lack focus, and the will to experiment with new things." With this, she stopped her trick and held all knives in one hand, pointing them down at us. "And that alone disqualifies you all from becoming Hunters."
We all stared at her in silence, others in shock, some quietly disappointed. My eyes widened as I spotted Hisoka from the corner of my eye, holding a card between his fingers. Thankfully, he looked up as a voice emitted from a loud microphone. We all did, actually. "Well, that said, it seems a bit excessive to fail every single applicant."
...To be continued...