The first strands of light filtered through the blinds in the early morning and the birds started their chorus with what sounded like a chirped set of instructions to offspring unwilling to leave the nest. Caroline knew the feeling. She lay there with her eyes closed, thinking about earlier in the week when she had finally packed Lawrence off to Angus' place after pulling in a favour; she'd found Lawrence an internship at a new media company run by a rising star who was a Sulgrave Heath graduate; perhaps there her wayward son would discover something he liked doing and would find his purpose.
She blinked, the light causing her to squint and cover her face with a hand, her hangover beginning to make itself known. She creased her forehead, which only made it worse; it felt like her skull had shrunk overnight. She sighed, dropping her hand next to her body, only to hit another body in the bed. Ruth. She smiled. The lovely, loyal Ruth, the dog Flora had badgered her to get, only to find the dog appreciated her company more than Flora's.
Caroline moved her hand to comb her fingers through Ruth's fur, puzzled by the smooth surface of the duvet she found instead. She turned and opened her eyes.
Caroline froze, her mouth gaped open and shock flooded her arteries as she recognised the messy brown hair of her step-sister, Gillian.
Caroline clamped her eyes shut and exhaled quietly, a sudden awareness of her own nakedness and the reason for it now apparent. Memories of the evening came back to her and she smiled to herself, sure it was one of those self-satisfied smiles that told everyone else she'd had a really good shag. She almost laughed at herself. It had been so long she figured she was allowed to brag a little, if only to herself.
She turned her head to look more closely at the form next to her, the farmer so deeply asleep she was starting to snore quietly. Caroline remembered from Barcelona Gillian would snuffle quietly during the night when she'd had a few drinks. It brought a forgiving smile to Caroline's face.
After a few more moments to gather her thoughts, Caroline carefully got up, the pleasing aches from the night's activities evident. Not wanting to disturb the slumbering farmer she tiptoed around the bed, grabbed her dressing gown and quietly opened the bedroom door. There, guarding the exit, was Ruth, who yawned and stretched before rising to follow Caroline down the stairs.
Caroline let the dog out for her morning business. She waited, head resting against the door until Ruth sauntered back inside, happy to plonk herself on the doggie beanbag and watch her human gingerly move around the kitchen.
Caroline headed for the medical shelf in the kitchen cabinet, rifling around until she found the ibuprofen. She swallowed a couple of tablets with a full glass of water, berating herself for drinking so much alcohol. After making a strong cup of tea with extra sugar, she sat down, slouching on the chair, wondering what would happen now. As she wrapped her hands around the warm mug for comfort in the cool of the morning, more details from the previous night filtered through her consciousness.
As they entered, Caroline's eyes roamed the room, the colourful disco lights dim enough to add a seductive quality to the women hiding in shadows as they too watched the people dancing in the middle of the room. She noticed the women were a diverse group; some clearly teenagers and others well into their 60s and there were a lot more women of colour than she remembered from her Oxford days. The lesbian bars and queer clubs in the 1980s had been full of young, thin lesbians wearing the nightclub uniform of a white t-shirt, blue jeans and purple doc martens whenever she'd ventured out. She'd been one of them of course; only the lack of ink and piercings had made her stand out more than her posh northern accent.
Leading Caroline through the crowd to the bar, Gillian had set them up with a couple of Pink Pigs to get them started. To Caroline's dismay, Gillian had chugged her drink down so she did the same. Gillian ordered herself a follow-up gin and tonic from the bartender, and while pointing to Caroline, added loudly, "Sex on the Beach for Goldilocks here," before laughing so much she could barely stand up.
Caroline glared at Gillian for a moment, before responding equally loudly, "Careful, your pelvic floor isn't what it was!" which only made Gillian laugh even more before crossing her legs and holding onto the bar, laughing until she was wheezing for air, at which point Caroline couldn't help but join in.
After a few minutes they'd both calmed down enough to breathe, paid the bartender and picked up their fresh drinks. Gillian reached out to place her hand on Caroline's arm, smirk still apparent. "Sorry Caz. Couldn't help it," she said, chuckling. "Y'know, it would've been nice to 'ave tried a bit of that in Barcelona," she added, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
Caroline smiled wryly, thinking the fantasy of having sex on a beach was probably better than the reality of sand in all the wrong places, wondered when Gillian had done that and with whom before bolting down the rest of her rum drink to blot that errant thought from her head. The drink, however, was more than palatable. She nudged Gillian to finish her drink too.
Caroline waved to the bartender and ordered a third round, enunciating the name of the Sex on the Beach drink clearly to Gillian's delight before they collapsed into laughter again.
Finding a free table, they perched on stools and scanned the rest of the crowd. It was then Caroline realised there was enough alcohol in her system for the giggling to kick in but not enough to be messy and that, she thought, was the sweet spot. If she could sit in the sweet spot for the rest of the night, she'd make it through her own awkwardness.
As Gillian excitedly pointed out all the lesbians she knew, Caroline followed the direction of her finger, trying not to stare but she was wide-eyed, taking it all in. This was the first time in years she'd been in a room full of lesbians. Deep down she knew she was one of them, that there would be a real connection with any one of the women despite their other differences, but she was so used to being isolated that it threw her. There was so much potential for sex. She found it simultaneously terrifying and arousing, and that was most disconcerting. She had another sip of her drink, trying to stay in the sweet spot.
"Jesus, they're everywhere!" Gillian exclaimed, interrupting Caroline's thoughts as they both burst into yet another fit of giggles.
Gillian was almost squealing with delight at seeing Caroline so completely out of her element. The delight she felt pushing Caroline to let her inner lesbian go for a walk on the wild side was a lot more intoxicating than the G&T's she was guzzling. It was high time Caroline was proud to be a lesbian rather than resigned to it, and if Gillian could help with that, all the better. She sat with her arm along the back of Caroline's chair, protective but not touching. Close, but not too close, the warmth radiating from Caroline's shoulders enough to give her a visceral thrill without the ecstasy of touch. Not yet, be patient. She guarded Caroline from trouble while the blonde found her bearings, settling back into her gay skin once more.
Gillian snuggled in closer to Caroline, pointing out a woman surreptitiously staring at the blonde. She leant in to speak into Caroline's ear with a faux posh accent.
"We must endure the presence of a few caterpillars if we wish to become acquainted with the butterflies, dear Caroline."
Caroline snorted, feeling loose from the drinks. "Are you talking about John, or Judith?" she asked, before they fell into each other laughing again.
After recovering from their giggling, Gillian talked about her own colourful history with some of the locals while Caroline watched the crowd. She was distracted by two women dancing only a few feet away, engrossed by the brunette's hands wandering wantonly over the blonde's body as they moved to the beat. When the women started kissing, there was nothing polite or delicate about it; it was a snog with lots of tongue, accompanied by roving hands and grinding hips. Caroline squeezed her eyes shut momentarily, imagining herself on the dance floor with a certain brunette's hands wandering all over her body. Caroline was desperately hoping Gillian would make her move soon, not daring to make one of her own. She clamped her eyes shut, squeezing the thought out of her head before her body fired up too much.
Caroline deliberately turned away to watch a group sitting along the wall. They were young friends; two couples and a fifth member of the group who was absorbed watching other women in the club. She was definitely on the hunt. When she stood up and started walking toward them, Caroline couldn't help but notice she was exactly her type, tall and lean with lustrous dark skin and big hands.
Gillian noticed the woman approaching them was completely focused on Caroline and guessed from Kate and Olga that a woman like that would push Caroline's buttons. She immediately moved her arm from behind Caroline's chair to possessively drape it over the blonde's shoulder, watching the tall woman stop in her tracks, nod to Gillian and Caroline, and turn to the bar.
Caroline watched her go before stopping to catch Gillian's eye. Gillian smirked and Caroline emitted a flustered huff. Gillian chuckled but they fell into silence as they gazed at one another while Donna Summer told them how she felt love and it was so good. The air became charged with sexual tension and Caroline and Gillian were breathing a little faster by the end of the second chorus. It was then Gillian slowly moved her hand along Caroline's shoulder and under the blonde hair to cradle the back of Caroline's neck, the touch erasing the pretence of Gillian as a wingwoman.
Gillian leaned close enough for her lips to touch the shell of Caroline's ear. Aware of the shiver that had run though Caroline, she spoke loudly enough for Caroline to hear her over the music. "I'm thinking we never got to dance, in Barcelona."
Caroline slowly turned her head, eyes locking onto Gillian's lips before lifting to her eyes again. A shy smile crept up her face and then subtly, she nodded.
The music changed and Gillian, recognising the song, gleefully stood up.
"Come on Rapunzel. Time to let down your hair!"
Caroline chuckled, allowing Gillian to pull her to her feet.
Gillian, hips already swaying to the synth beat pounding through the speakers, looked directly at Caroline.
"All I want to get is, a little bit closer..."
Caroline laughed nervously, eyes shining with the joy of Gillian's exuberance.
"All I want to know is, can you come a little closer?"
Gillian's grin became an impish smirk as she led Caroline onto the dance floor, pulling the blonde into her arms.
"Here comes the rush before we touch, come a little closer."
Gillian's pull on Caroline was magnetic; Gillian's eyes, her voice and her body were a call to action and Caroline was in her thrall.
"So let's make things physical, I won't treat you like you're oh so typical."
Gillian finished the line by singing breathlessly in Caroline's ear, hand sliding over the swell of her bottom, pulling her in tight. She left a trail of wet kisses down Caroline's neck, the intoxicating tang of a light sweat mixing with the heady scent of expensive parfum and body lotions. She'd been so patient all night and now, now she could taste her, touch her, kiss her. Gillian was in heaven and the night was still young enough for an adventure.
Caroline moaned, tilting her head to grant those soft lips more access to her sensitive neck, her body already so keyed up that she responded faster than she wanted. She gripped Gillian tightly and then she kissed Gillian softly on the lips. It started as a light touch, a ghost from their trip, but it wasn't long before Gillian's tongue caressed Caroline's bottom lip and her mouth opened, inviting Gillian in. Here she was—where she'd wanted to be all night—with Gillian's tongue in her mouth and hands roaming her body.
Gillian gradually leaned back, ending their kiss. Eyes cloudy with desire and a flush already obvious on her chest, Gillian gazed at Caroline. She started moving Caroline's hips to the beat of the music, leaning forward to speak into the blonde's ear, cheeks touching.
"You have no idea how sexy you are, do you?"
Caroline smirked, "Says the woman with the most glorious arse on the planet!" She looked at Gillian with undisguised desire as she tried to calm herself. It was so freeing to be able to snog this woman so passionately in public and not face censure.
Gillian laughed brightly, the music changing so Grace Jones could tell them about walking in the rain. She'd realised Caroline was adept at hiding just how insecure she was in her sense of self outside work. The damage wrought initially by Celia had been compounded by John and even Kate, and now Caroline had almost no confidence in herself as a lover, as a partner. Gillian wanted to fix that, even though she knew a lifetime would never be enough to undo all that had been wrought. Tonight was the start of a secret campaign to give Caroline a more complete sense of herself.
Caroline moved her hands to safer territory, holding Gillian by the waist, starting to sway with the music again. She let Gillian guide her and the music washed over her like pixie dust, helping her to fly once again. A sense of bliss washed through her unexpectedly, marking this as one of the happiest nights she could remember. She leaned forward, breath hot in Gillian's ear and whispered, "Thank you."
Lit only by a few luminescent dials from the dashboard, Caroline welcomed Gillian snuggling into her in the back of the taxi, the 80s British pop playing quietly on the stereo continuing the mood of the nightclub. She could feel Gillian's fingers taking advantage of the darkness, dancing their way between her thighs, the thick material of her jeans not disguising the needy touch. She quickly removed her scarf and placed it over the top of her lap, gasping when Gillian used the camouflage to press into her, causing Caroline to moan quietly before surreptitiously grabbing Gillian's hand to stop its progress.
"You can't," she whispered in Gillian's ear, "Not here!"
"So in another universe somewhere, you're going to let me?" Gillian whispered back, nibbling enticingly on Caroline's earlobe until Caroline whimpered.
Caroline was struggling to hold herself together. It wasn't helping that Gillian's voice was in her ear, seductively whispering everything she wanted Caroline to do to her, everything she wanted to do to Caroline. Slowly, relentlessly and in great detail, Gillian described what she wanted for the rest of their night.
By the time the taxi dropped them home, Caroline was so aroused she could barely think, could barely walk. Shaking slightly, Caroline pulled the keys out of her bag and opened the door. She stepped in, carefully closing the door behind Gillian. The air was thick with anticipation as she quietly placed her scarf and bag on the hall table, slowly turning to face Gillian.
Now they were home, Gillian was nearing the crest of a high, approaching the point when the thrill of the chase coalesced with the desire to be caught. She leant against the door, expecting some sort of reaction from Caroline. She was unsure what would transpire so she watched, fingers drumming against the door, waiting in the tense stillness before it fractured into passion. She knew it was time for the blonde to step out of the shadow of her past, and for that, Caroline needed to own her desire. Gillian understood that it had been impossible with the kids in the bedroom next door for Caroline to really let loose, but the sense that something wilder lay just under the surface had been intoxicating.
She slipped her arms around Caroline and brought her close, reaching up to tenderly bite her neck. It was designed to provoke, and it worked.
Caroline felt the last strands of her restraint disintegrate. Just as Gillian had predicted, just as Gillian had wanted, Caroline let loose in a way she couldn't in Barcelona. There was a need that came from the very depths of her being that she usually kept under tight control; tonight was a night for passion. It was erotic and wild, teeth and tongues, lips and hands driving them both over the edge time and time again.
Gillian wanted every second of it. She'd so missed having sex with Caroline that her dreams since Barcelona had been full of it. The tenderness of sex with Caroline in Barcelona had been soothingly rich with love and care, but there had always been a sense of the possibilities for more. This time the sex came with an admixture of intense passion but Caroline at her most enthusiastic was still attentive to Gillian's responses, adjusting and accommodating, shifting without conscious thought to give space to Gillian's desire, Gillian's needs. For the first time Gillian experienced that even in the miasma of desire, care could be taken.
It was well after midnight when Gillian spied a gap in Caroline's sexual momentum, allowing her to shift roles. It had worked for them both in Barcelona, and again it took Caroline by surprise. Gillian took the lead, driving Caroline mad with lust, driving her to the point of begging before her release on the couch, just as Gillian had described it in the taxi.
When they were finally spent, Gillian gently led Caroline upstairs, past the dog hiding in the bathroom, and into Caroline's bed to cuddle. Under the duvet the exertion, alcohol and fervour of the last few hours pulled them into an exhausted sleep.
Just before the dawn they made love for the first time. Barcelona had been tender, friendly and joyful but the intensity of the last few hours had surpassed anything either of them could have imagined. Both of them had released the pent-up lust and frustration of the months of waiting and wanting, and they were able to connect at a deeper emotional level. It was there Caroline could take Gillian in her arms and show her an unspoken path to their future.
Caroline had chased her cup of sweet tea with a double shot of espresso and a Berocca before she heard movement upstairs. Her head was feeling marginally better, for which she was grateful, because she still had no idea what she was going to say to Gillian. The night before had been so intensely satisfying. She slouched over her empty coffee cup, wondering how it had all seemed to happen so fast, how they hadn't managed to talk about any of it before... Caroline sighed heavily.
It had been so wonderful, so exquisite, and then in the morning, their passion had been transmogrified into something blissful. She knew she loved Gillian, but this was deeper than she'd ever expected. She couldn't imagine not being with Gillian now. She had no idea how she had managed to hide the depth of her need for Gillian from herself and the sense of her own inadequacy was palpable. The night had been revelatory and extraordinary. It was like the gates within had been flung open and the tornado that was Gillian had come through, cleaning out the debris from her psyche. She had no idea how Gillian would feel about it this morning, or how she would get past it if Gillian didn't want to stay. She knew they needed to talk but she was completely overwhelmed by the thought of it.
Caroline's mind was running through a million possibilities when she heard Gillian trudging slowly down the stairs, each creak a portent of potential exodus. Caroline had a deeply worried look on her face when Gillian entered the kitchen wearing an oversized T-shirt that was long enough to be a dress.
"That bed of yours is a crime. It's way too comfortable to get me up early enough, Caz," Gillian griped happily. "Next thing you'll be saying I'm sleeping beauty, or a princess or something."
Gillian took a closer look at Caroline, sitting silent and vulnerable, and stopped. She smiled benevolently. "You numpty. Probably got it all wrong in your head, haven't you?"
Caroline looked up, the worry still present but it was now interrupted by a surprised laugh. "Probably," she added, hopeful that Gillian's happy mood was indicative of more long-term possibilities.
Gillian chuckled, walked behind Caroline, rested a hand on her shoulder and dropped a quick kiss on the top of the blonde head before getting herself a glass of water and a couple of the ibuprofen from the bottle Caroline had left on the counter.
Caroline turned to watch Gillian, waiting for the conversation she longed for and dreaded.
Gillian gently picked up one of Caroline's hands and tugged.
"C'mon. Time for a chat, you and me. Long overdue, Caz."
Gillian pulled Caroline slowly into the lounge and watched her sit heavily on one of the couches. She then straddled Caroline, resulting in a slightly outraged squawk from the women beneath her.
"You're not going anywhere, not 'till we've talked. Properly."
"Gillian, I know we need to but if this is—"
"Caz, you and me, we've been dancing around this for a lot longer than that dance last night," she said, wriggling her hips pleasantly on Caroline's thighs, "So it really is time to sort it."
Gillian nodded and only stopped after Caroline started nodding in agreement with her.
Gillian's eyes sparkled with glee. "Caz, you were sommat else last night. Just about had me dangling from the chandelier!" She chuckled, capturing Caroline's face in her hands and gently kissed her on the lips.
"But seriously, you were...very sexy. I like you like that." Gillian leaned forward and pressed herself into Caroline's thighs, leaving Caroline with no doubt she meant it. "You were great."
"It wasn't too...uh...physical...for you? I mean, I don't ever want to hurt you, or, or make you...bring back bad memories," Caroline continued, embarrassed to be even talking about it, but knowing they needed to clear the air.
"No, Caz. I'll tell you if there's a problem."
"Really? I would hate...I don't ever, ever want to be like—"
"And you won't. You couldn't." Gillian shook her head, before smiling with such affection that Caroline couldn't help bursting out in a relieved grin.
"C'mon Caz, when did you ever let loose? When was the last time?"
Caroline's shoulders dropped a little, some of the tension leaving them. "Not...not for a very long time."
"That's what I mean. That's good, right?" Gillian nodded, the cheeky grin coming back.
"It's all so, unexpected." Caroline looked a little flummoxed, before nodding slowly. "It's good. It was good. Really good," her vocabulary failing as it so often did when she delved into emotional matters.
Gillian nodded, trailing her fingers gently down Caroline's face and leaning in for another soft kiss.
Sensing Caroline needed to lighten the conversation, Gillian sat up and looked around the room, spying the small wooden beams holding up the ceiling. "Not enough support for a swing here Caz. We'll have to think of something else..."
Caroline's jaw dropped open and a deep flush of embarrassment rose up her chest, not stopping until her face was florid.
"Gillian!"
Gillian laughed gleefully, torso swaying and arms swinging, doing a mini Cha Cha on Caroline's lap until Caroline started shaking her head and chuckling.
"I do like you," Gillian grinned, leaning forward to kiss Caroline, the sweetness of the kiss helping to ground them both.
Gillian sat up, taking hold of Caroline's hands, "And now, we need to talk about practicalities."
Caroline huffed, the change in conversation throwing her completely. Gillian had her thoroughly off balance, and she wondered if that was the point.
"Really. You still want—"
Gillian laughed cheerfully this time. "Of course you numpty. Especially now. Thinking on it, you still need someone to help you with Flora, and I could use a hand with the money. There is the land out the back of your place. I did talk to Ryan Jenkins and it could be a, a thing."
Gillian cupped Caroline's face, reassuringly, and leant forward again. "But this is really about us, and I think..." Gillian shook her head. "I know we can make a go of this. I know I'm poor and uneducated and I know I'm not Kate but I do think—"
"Gillian, stop." Caroline reached up to brush the hair falling in front of Gillian's face tenderly behind an ear.
"I know you're not Kate. I love Kate, loved, Kate, but she's gone." Caroline's fingers gently traced the curves of Gillian's face, understanding that last night she'd looked with her eyes, but today she'd have to look with her heart. "But you're here, and I know we don't always make sense, but I can't..." She squeezed her eyes closed for a moment, feeling raw, her voice catching, "I really can't imagine this without you."
When Caroline opened her eyes again, they were glassy with tears. She gazed at Gillian with a watery smile, hoping with everything she had and everything she was that Gillian felt the same. She hadn't taken such a leap of faith, such a bold admission of need for someone else, in five long years, and it would crush her beyond repair if Gillian said 'No.'
"Last night was...I don't quite know what it was, really, but it was amazing. Spectacular."
Gillian's eyes shone, watching Caroline's desperation unfold in front of her, tears starting to fall. It was such a mysterious place, the land of tears. She'd never in a million years thought she'd be in this position with a smart, educated, passionate woman needing her like this. She'd hoped and she'd even prayed to a god who'd long abandoned her to be given a chance with Caroline. Caroline, the woman who seemed on the outside to have it all, and yet so wanted to be held, to be loved that she'd chosen a poor farmer.
"If it's about Flora, then we can work something out—" Gillian nervously began in an effort to fill in Caroline's the silence.
"Gillian, you know it isn't. Well, it is, partly, but no. It's not." Caroline struggled, as always to understand how she felt about things like this, and about her step-sister in particular. "This really isn't about Flora and you know it," she challenged. She looked deep into Gillian's eyes, finding the courage and the words to finally speak from her heart. She took a deep breath, clutching Gillian's hips for ballast.
"I love you, and I want to build a life with you. I can't do this by myself, and I don't want to." She paused, her shoulders relaxing as if she was at last admitting the depth of it. "I want to live with you. I want to do this with you. I want you."
Finally allowing the words to wrap around her heart, Gillian softened and captured Caroline's lips in a fervent kiss, as if to seal the momentous admission. When they broke apart, to breathe, to take stock, Gillian sat up, trying to take it all in.
"So, you love me."
"Of course I love you. It is my fault that you haven't known this," Caroline said, the regret clear in her voice. "I'm no good at this sort of thing; it takes me a while to...but I do. I do love you."
Gillian beamed, the smile fracturing at the end as tears threatened to fall. "Well that's good, you snotty bitch, because I love you too!" She grinned cheekily, amused at Caroline's wry reaction.
"You tell me you love me, and call me a snotty bitch in the same breath?"
"Yep. 'Cause I love that part of you too."
Gillian gently kissed the side of Caroline's face, kissed her on her brow, and then she placed a lingering kiss on Caroline's lips.
"I love how safe I feel with you, I love knowing that no matter how...physical we get, you'll never intentionally hurt me, that if I say 'stop', you'll stop."
"Always. No question. I'll always protect you, even from my mum if comes to that," Caroline said earnestly, knowing she'd never said anything she'd meant more than this, that she understood how profoundly important feeling safe was to Gillian, knowing it was now just as important to her.
Gillian could feel the sense of a shared future together. She laughed, relief lifting the mood and the bright tones of it taking them both into sunnier skies again. She continued to kiss Caroline, revealing the things she loved about Caroline between kisses.
"Caz, I love how you like expensive wine."
"Oh, I know you like that too, Gillian."
"I love how you present food like it's gourmand even when it's peanut butter on toast."
"Well that's just a—"
"I love how you drive a twat car."
"A Jag is not a—" and with a wry look from Gillian, Caroline relented. "Okay, it is a very comfortable twat car."
"I love how your house is full of posh gadgets that you rarely ever use."
"But you do love the espresso machine."
"Yes. I do. And talking about that, let's have a cup."
Caroline laughed. She patted Gillian's bottom gently.
"Okay. Hop off and I'll make you one."
As they walked hand in hand into the kitchen, the mood between them so different to the way they left it, it struck Caroline that this could be what it would be like for them, that they would be able to work through their problems and find solutions together. She'd dived off a cliff, taken a massive leap of faith in the last day but she'd trusted Gillian, and they'd both come out the other side safely. She treasured that about Gillian, that the farmer could see through her bullshit and call her on it, would find a way through her self-doubt and preciousness to find the kernel of truth in the middle of it all. The crux of it was that she loved Gillian. She wanted to grow old with Gillian.
As soon as Caroline started the espresso machine she turned and wrapped her arms around her lover.
"Thank you." She nuzzled into Gillian's hair. "I was so worried this morning, so...petrified that I'd somehow stuffed it up with you."
"I know, Caz," and Gillian did. She knew the blonde had a tendency to panic, that the combination of John, Kate and life had really done a number on her, but Gillian had realised long ago she could talk Caroline through it. She understood Caroline's fear of abandonment, just as Caroline understood her own fear of being controlled. And Gillian knew that if she tamed Caroline, she would be responsible forever for her. She also knew Caroline would be her rock, just as she had been for the last few years.
"I know you get mad stuff in your head, Caz; so do I sometimes, but we'll deal with it. You just 'ave to come and talk to me, yeah?"
Caroline nodded. "Yeah. I can do that." She smiled, beaming a joyful love into Gillian's face. "Want to do that for the rest of our lives? Our own fairytale ending?"
"I'd like that, Caz." Gillian nodded sagely, pulling Caroline closer to her. "I'd really like to do that. You and me against the world!"
The relieved smile flitting across Caroline's face gave Gillian the confidence to continue. "Let's be honest. Our happily ever after began a long time ago in a land far, far away. A land called Barcelona."
Note: The trip to Barcelona was the summer before season 5 started. According to the newspaper on Celia's floor in S5E1, season 5 starts on May 14th and from our calculations, ends about June 8th. However, the timeline for our fic works better if it's only a couple of months between the trip and the events in S5 rather than nearly a year. Please forgive us this slight fudge.
Thank you DrawMeAKey for some fabulous musical recommendations.
Closer by Tegan and Sara, (Tegan Quinn, Sara Quinn, Greg Kurstin), 2014
Walking in the Rain by Grace Jones (George Young and Harry Vanda), 1981 (originally released by Flash and the Pan), 1979
I Feel Love by Donna Summer (Donna Summer, Giorgio Moroder and Pete Bellotte), 1977
The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, 1943
Quotes from Goodreads dot com
"When someone blushes, doesn't that mean 'yes'"
"A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral."
"Of course I love you. It is my fault that you have not known it all the while"
"But eyes are blind. You have to look with the heart."
"People have forgotten this truth," the fox said. "But you mustn't forget it. You become responsible forever for what you've tamed. You're responsible for your rose."
"Well, I must endure the presence of a few caterpillars if I wish to become acquainted with the butterflies."
"It is such a mysterious place, the land of tears."