Chapter 7: Scars Of The Past Pt. 1

Warning: This two-part chapter contains mention of the 'R' word and a reason why I changed the rating. Reader's discretion is advised!

A nice afternoon at the park was pleasant as Zim and Gaz were passing by other people and enjoying the autumn weather with such relaxation.

"So how long have you been playing the drums?" Zim asked.

"I've started learning since I was 7. My dad wanted me to learn how to control myself and let my anger out. So, he took me to his job and gave me a drum set. At first I didn't like it and wanted to crush it, but I was feeling a little better after playing a few notes. Classic rock was playing and I couldn't help but follow the beat." Gaz explained.

Zim hummed in curiosity and replied, "What made you stop?"

"Well...I didn't want to play much and I began getting a habit of games that I lost interest in drumming. But I was surprised to see how well I can play as I still got it." Gaz said.

"Ever wanted to join a band?"

"Nah. I never socialize much to even be in one. Although, it would be cool to perform with the best. But what about you, Zim? What made you play guitar?" Gaz pondered.

Zim answered, "During the day Keef took me out to change myself, I was looking at these street performers playing with many instruments and it got me interested in their talent. But I heard a man playing an acoustic guitar and I tried it out myself. And on my first try, I was playing well. But...kinda..got chased half a mile by girls when it was actually a Spanish guitar."

Gaz giggled. "I'm surprised you haven't had a girlfriend after that."

"They weren't my type. I wasn't into the dating scene as I was getting to know more about myself before dating a girl. Computer taught me some things on how to respect females and be a kind gentleman. But my guitar skills were awesome as I was even playing with a few bands." Zim said.

"For real?" Gaz replied with a bit of shock.

Zim nodded. "The first band that got me hooked was Linkin Park. I wanted to thank them personally for their music, but...that incident with...you know.

"Yeah. Still missed that guy." Gaz sighed. "He helped me out with some stuff. I actually met him by accident when I was little."

Zim gasped. "You lie!"

"Nope," Gaz replied. "Chester just signed my handheld one day while I was getting some pizza. I still have it in my room and properly secured it somewhere safe."

"Mad respect, Gaz." Zim stated as him and the goth girl bumped fist. "At least you have what it takes to keep up with that skill. Who knows? Maybe you could help out a band in need."

"That would be cool to do something like that." Gaz replied.

Suddenly, the two stopped to see some purse snatcher running away from some cops. Usually Gaz didn't care about things like this, but she wasn't going to let something like that slide as an elderly lady was shouting at the thieves.

"What a bunch of suckers!" The purse snatcher laughed as he kept on running.

"Come back here, punk!" The officer shouted as him and his partner were about to lose him.

"Hmm." Gaz thought of something but found a football rolling her way by her foot. Suddenly, she had an idea and picked it up.

A little boy was coming up to her as she was picking up his ball. "Hey, miss. Can I have my ball back?"

"Sure, kid." Gaz was focusing her aim and thought of how to make the target. "Just let me do something real quick." Once she located the spot and trajectory, Gaz threw the ball and had it coming close to the thief. Although her aim was accurate, the thief was suddenly going to have a taste of bad karma when he didn't pay attention to the ball going straight at him. But instead of the legs…

"OOOOHHH!" Zim and Gaz flinched as the football hit him right in the groins. The thief winced in pain as he fell down the hill at the park and rolled down. But karma wasn't done as his leg got spiked by the boulder. He shouted, "MY LEG!(SFX from SpongeBob)" And he made a huge splash by the pond as he was soaked and the purse was safely on the boulder when it landed. But the purse snatcher wasn't done as a gang of ducks were flying towards him and started pecking him down. The officers were clueless to what happened, but shrugged their shoulders and carried on to retrieve the purse snatcher.

"Um...that wasn't supposed to happen." Gaz stated as she looked at Zim. Suddenly, he was biting his lip to hold on to his laugh as he had never seen something so funny in his life.

"Oh,well. He can keep it since I think he lost a pair." The boy shrugged and walked away as Zim fell down hard and laughed.

"Oh, my goodness! That was wrong and so funny at the same time!" Zim laughed and wheezed as Gaz blushed red.

"Shut up! I-It was an accident!" Gaz looked away as the cops took the thief and heard him groan in pain. "I swear he was supposed to get hit in the leg."

"Well, that kinda backfired." Zim got up and breathed deeply. "It was actually funny to watch. At least you stopped him from stealing that woman's purse."

Gaz turned around to see the purse snatcher hoisted away and the old lady grabbed her purse back by the rocks. She looked up to Gaz and waved as she said, "Thanks, missy! Nice shot!"

The goth teen waved back with a smile and Zim grinned to see how this day was getting better for them. After the incident, Zim and Gaz kept on walking as Zim scouted a clearing by the trees.

"Okay, Gaz, I know a shortcut to where we can have some private time." The former alien stated.

"Shortcut? Wait, is it like a secret spot of yours?" Gaz asked.

Zim nodded. "Uh-huh!"

"I see. Lead the way." Gaz commanded.

While going down the path, Gaz was looking around at the trees since it was autumn and the leaves were slowly falling down. She never came to the park much as this route was new to her. She was curious to how Zim would find this place. Knowing her, Gaz would be doing more observation of her surroundings. But at least she has Zim with her to show the way.

"We're almost there. Sorry if it's not an exciting journey." Zim said to her.

Gaz giggled and replied, "It's okay, Zim. I'm just amazed at how you were able to locate this path."

"Well, I found it by accident while taking a jog and I came to check it out. But wait until you see what else I found while exploring. You'll love it." Zim grinned.

Gaz didn't know why, but her heart was fluttering inside by seeing his smile. It was something rare for her to know how Zim really is a true friend. Gaz kept on following the former alien as he made a complete stop. Gaz paused and said, "Zim?"

"We're here!" He exclaimed as he grabbed her hand and revealed to her the most amazing sight to ever be seen by her and Zim alone. It was a nice clearing that had a huge lake and surrounded by sakura blossom trees. It was mixed with brown autumn leaves while falling around the area.

Gaz was awestruck to believe that something like this was hidden from the city. And yet, Zim found it. "Amazing! How in the hell was this not shown on the map?!"

"I was asking myself that as well," Zim complied. "The computer was clueless to how this area was not scanned on the map! It was like it was hidden by many unless someone was chosen to be here. Weird, but what can you do?"

"By the looks of it, this area is similar to the one in Japan. Yet, it's so beautiful and more." Gaz said with a calm look.

While Gaz was looking around, Zim looked at how the goth teen was feeling carefree relaxed as her facial expression was mesmerizing. His eyes were gazing at her and feeling so warm inside that her appearance was...cute. Her ponytail was still there, his jacket around her waist, and her smile was angelic that he never knew how peaceful she looks. Zim couldn't help but smile and spotted a huge oak tree.

Gaz turned to see Zim walking up to an old tree and followed him along. Once then, Zim took a seat and laid back on bark to face the lake.

"Favorite spot?" Gaz asked.

Zim nodded. "Indeed. I can get a good view of the area here and it helps calm my mind to know how I can let the stress escape."

"Hmm." Gaz replied. "So...I'm the first person you've actually shown this to?"

"Yep! I thought this could be the place to be isolated from the world and relax to clear your mind. Plus: It might be something to remind you of Japan if you want to go there one day." Zim grinned as he started to tune his new guitar.

Gaz walked over to Zim and sat right beside him to enjoy the peacefulness surrounding them. "Yeah. It would be great to go there soon. But maybe I can see the whole world and just explore everything."

"We could do that." Gaz turned to Zim as he continued. "I have a cruiser that could take us anywhere and just go sight-seeing without a problem. But it seems like you need a vacation after being isolated from the world for so long. It's the least I can do."

Gaz just listened to his offer and smiled. It would be nice to take a vacation and get away from the stress within the city And Zim could show her around while touring some great places. "Yeah. Sounds like fun."

Zim was tuning his guitar as Gaz was watching the cherry blossoms floating on the lake. Upon reflecting on the scene, Gaz tilted her head and it landed on Zim's shoulder. The former alien stopped and looked to see Gaz quickly moving away.

"Um...sorry." Gaz looked away with a blush

Zim shrugged his shoulders and said, "I don't mind."

"You sure?" The goth teen asked. Zim nodded while resuming practice. Gaz didn't say more as she slowly placed her head on Zim's shoulder and relaxed with a sigh.

It was actually nice to be calm and just feel at peace. Something that she never had in a long time ever since she was little. Gaz spent her life ignoring the world; yet she never knew how it was in her eyes. Maybe it was best to give video games a break and live a little.

But as she calmly started to close her eyes, Gaz began to hear singing. It was so familiar as it wasn't hard to know who it was.

Zim:

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut

My weakness is that I care too much

And my scars remind me that the past is real

I tear my heart open just to feel

Gaz turned her head to see Zim closing his eyes as he sang. She was surprised to hear this from him and thought he could sing well.

Drunk and I'm feeling down

And I just wanna be alone

I'm pissed cause you came around

Why don't you just go home

Cause you channel all your pain

And I can't help you fix yourself

You're making me insane

All I can say is

[Chorus:]

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut

My weakness is that I care too much

And our scars remind us that the past is real

I tear my heart open just to feel

Before Zim could sing the next part, Gaz beat him to it as she started to follow up.

Gaz:

I tried to help you once

Against my own advice

I saw you going down

But you never realized

That you're drowning in the water

So I offered you my hand

Compassions in my nature

Tonight is our last stand

The moment she sang, her voice was angelic and calm. Zim never knew she could sing and he kept playing more.

[Chorus]

Z: I can't help you fix yourself

But at least I can say I tried

I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

G: I can't help you fix yourself

But at least I can say I tried

I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

Both:

[Chorus x2]

Zim was done playing and he turned to Gaz with a huge smile. "Wow, Gaz, that was incredible! I didn't know you could sing that well!"

"I started when I was 9. I kept it to myself since my family never bothered hearing me out. I secretly practiced and was hoping to get better while listening to some great songs. It became a habit and...I loved it." Gaz blushed.

"Well...I think you were pretty great, Gaz. It was beautiful." Zim complimented.

Gaz blushed more after hearing that from Zim. It was really nice to have someone complimenting her singing. Her heart was beating softly to feel so happy that Gaz was wondering why this former alien would change her like this. Still, it wouldn't hurt to talk to him about a different topic.

"Zim." She called for him.

"Yes, Gaz?"

"Were you ever curious about my middle name Emilia?" Gaz stated.

"Hmm. Well, I wanted to ask you about that, but I didn't want to bother you about it." Zim answered.

Gaz shook her head. "No, it's fine. It was a special name given to me to show that I was unique or...special."

"Was it your father that gave you that name?" Zim asked.

"No." Gaz shook her head and stared at the ocean before answering, "It was from my mother."

"Oh." Zim was surprised, but continued. "You never told me much about your mother before."

Gaz answered. "It wasn't much to say. She...died a long time ago."

"I'm...sorry to hear that." Zim replied in a sad tone.

Gaz shrugged her shoulders while still staring at the lake. "It's okay. It was better off not talking about it. But still...she was always the best person to talk to even when I'm feeling down or needed someone to hear me out. My mother's name was Annabelle and she was both a paranormal expert and game designer. She constantly worked her ass off and still has time for the family. Dad was...himself and Dib was following up on weirdness."

"I know that's right." Zim retorts. "Anything else?"

"Mom was someone special to me when I couldn't make many friends. To be honest, she was my first. We were doing the best as mother and daughter: playing games, drinking boba, listening to music, anything fun. We were close and were there for each other. But…" Gaz soon had a sad look on her face. "...she died."

Zim was silent about it and knew what it would lead to. He moved right behind her and sat there so she could get comfortable. "I'm here for you."

Gaz didn't need to look back as she continued. "There was...an accident at the place she was working at. My mom was testing out a brand new game and it needed to be done before the holidays come up. Suddenly, an explosion was made and everything was on fire. It was reported that Mom was the only one there and they thought she must've tripped on some wires and crossed them wrongfully and sparked a few flames. At that time...she couldn't even make it to the exit on time."

Gaz sniffed as she wiped something from her eyes. Zim was silent and knew it must've hurt her to lose someone precious. He let her collect herself to relax and let everything out. No matter how long it takes, Zim will be there for a friend.

"After mom died, my family started to become distant towards another. I was just watching television and Dib started doing paranormal studies by the time dad decided to leave us alone and spend the rest of his life in that goddamn lab of his. Only for the fact that for the next couple of years, me and Dib had to see him once a year to see us for fucking Family Night!" Gaz shouted the last part, but turned to apologize to Zim.

"No need, Gaz. To be honest, I'm surprised he never got in trouble for leaving two young kids in the house by themselves without any supervision of an adult." Zim stated with a frown.

"Due to the fact that he's a renowned scientist, he was given a pass to make sure his inventions would change the world. But why? I ask myself that question as to why he uses that shitty TV screen to contact us and tell us that he loved us!" Gaz laughed, but in a bitter tone. "Then why not say it in person instead of on the screen?"

Zim then asked, "And what about you and Dib?"

Gaz sighed and took a deep breath. "I...We both were...getting distant. I was starting to get mad at him for doing things and taking my stuff for his inventions to prove weird life on Earth. But I told him to stop messing with me and he was getting annoying while thinking he was a big brother. As for me, my attitude suddenly changed as I was getting harassed by some kids for no reason. I was 8 and they kept teasing me on how I was related to a freak like Dib and I was a lame excuse for a daughter. And by the time one of them insulted my mother...I made the Devil laugh with joy."

Zim gasped silently and knew where this was leading. 'My goodness! So that's how people were afraid of her.'

"From that day, I didn't take shit from no one. And I loved it. My mother was gone and I was the only one in the family to keep the memories alive. My brother? He couldn't even remember her birthday! Or the anniversary of her death! I was so pissed that I suddenly punched him to stay the fuck away from me! But...something inside told me that what I was doing is wrong. So I pushed it away and became someone I'd never thought I would be. My heart died that day and those bastards paid the price for messing with me."

"Did you have any regrets for what you did?" Zim asked. Gaz shook her head as an answer. "I see."

Gaz sighed. "I never cared for anything else as I was alone and played my first GameSlave handheld that my mother created for me. The company she worked with kept her legacy alive as it was the only thing to keep me at peace. But it was never the same. Especially when she's not around to see it. Years went by and I felt so cold and angry that I couldn't even make a new friend in my life. I wanted to...but people were afraid of me. And I became heartless for it. Yet I didn't want to be alone. But then...my life changed in the most horrific way."

Zim perked up and asked calmly. "What happened?"

Before she could answer, Gaz was looking at her sleeve-covered arms and felt that she might have second thoughts about showing Zim bad memories underneath. She would think that he would change his mind and call her a freak. But her heart tells her differently as she knew that Zim would not treat her with a disdainful attitude and leave her. Gaz knew it would be that time to reveal the truth.

"Zim," Gaz said with a soft tone, "please don't judge me."

Before he could say anything, Gaz slowly took off her arm sleeves and let tears silently cascade down her cheeks. Upon taking them off, Gaz looked away as she lifted her arms to Zim. And he looked, his eyes were wide as he gasped at the horrific sight. Gaz's arms were carved with big and small blade cuts and fresh wounds that appeared to be from four weeks ago.

"Gaz...how…?" Zim was unable to say more as Gaz was having tears falling more.

"I...I think it's about time I tell you...how I got these scars. And where they came from…"

TBC

Sorry for the wait. Been busy with stuff. So right now, this chapter will be split in two so expect some tissues for the next part because it will be dark. See you later and more.