Chapter 9: Christmas

'It's been a while and a long time coming.' Naruto thinks to himself. Currently dangling from a rope at the top of the monument is the bright yellow hair boy. He finished the new make over to the First and Second Hokages recently. A few Naruto swirls on the cheeks and a heart on each eye. Next is the Third Hokage. Naruto was thinking of putting old spots with hair coming out of them, but the brown on brown wouldn't be that noticeable.

'Now would be a good time to intervene.' Cat thinks. She hesitates though. True, Naruto could fall. But that's why she is here. Should she stop Naruto from continuing to deface the prestigious faces of the past and current leaders? Most definitely. But, no important dignitaries are coming within the week. Naruto will get caught in a few hours and be forced to wash it off either before sundown or the next day. Cat will never admit that Naruto is growing on her.

Nope.

'Ehh, let the little kid have some fun.'

Naruto eagerly finishes his masterpiece. Trademark Uzumaki swirls on the cheeks of the First Hokage. Hearts on the eyes of the Second. The kanji, 爺, for old man on the third. (He had to go to the library to look that one up) And for his pièce de résistance, whisker marks on the fourth. Something simple you might say? Wrong. It is double layered. The second layer will be washed off when Naruto is eventually caught. Naruto knows it. It's a ninja village after all. But, underneath the second layer is the first layer. That is a special paint that Naruto saved months of stipend for. It is a special glow in the dark, colorless, odorless paint. Did I mention it also doesn't wash off with soap?

Naruto cackles at his pure genius and goes back to his apartment to hide the materials under the floorboards. Can't have evidence lying around his apartment. That's a paddlin. With the supplies secured, Naruto heads to his closet. While thrift shopping a few days ago, Naruto found the perfect disguise. It is a pair of glasses without the lenses. The rims are thick on these bad boys. Above each opening where the lens should be is a bushy eyebrow. Attached to the glasses is a false nose. It is comically large. And underneath the nose is a 'spruce mustache.' Definitely not Naruto once he puts these babies on.

Content to walk about in public. This is how Iruka-sensei finds him. "NARUTO!"

Jumping a little, Naruto calmly turns around. Looks up at an irate Iruka-sensei. Tilts his head and asks. "Who ees thees Nαrrütøe?"

Hiruzen has a bit of a dilemma on his hands. Naruto has been very placated since he received his stuffed animal Kurama. The general negativity from the villagers hasn't necessarily gone away, but there are two unintended side effects Hiruzen didn't predict. One, the villagers have an easier time seeing Naruto as an innocent child with him bringing Kurama everywhere. He was concerned that the scorn would increase, but it luckily had the opposite effect. Couple this with Naruto's lack of pranks, until today, and his standing with the general populace has increased slightly. And slightly is something he would take.

Which brings us back to the small child sitting on his chair. Fresh from cleaning the graffiti from the monument.

"Naruto. I assume you know why you're here."

Naruto just pouted some more. The disguise was fool proof. But, Iruka is not a fool.

"And just think, what would Santa-san think about this."

Naruto furrowed his eyebrows together, "Santa-san?"

'And it looks like I have an opening. "Of course, Naruto. You don't want Santa-san to find out about this little prank. I may be Hokage, but even I can't anything about him."

"But….why should I care about this so-called 'Santa-san?' If he is so important, why haven't I heard of him before?"

"Because he is in charge of who gets presents near the end of the month my dear boy."

This makes Naruto gasp.

"I'm sure you've noticed the decorations around the village. They are all for Santa-san. Now, I won't bore you with the details but know this. Santa-san knows what you're doing. He knows if you've been a good kid and he knows when you've been naughty."

Seeing Naruto go into his thinking pose, Hiruzen smirks.

"I think you might still be safe Naruto. But just to be sure, if you want presents this year, you must not prank people."

"Auuugghh." Naruto laments. "I understand."

"Good." Hiruzen responds. "To get started, here is a paper and envelope. Why don't you head back home and think of a letter to write to Santa-san."

Naruto paces around his room. 'What exactly should I write about. What do I want?' The obvious answer is more ramen. He could never have enough of it and it would last forever. More objects for 'Naruto-ball' is another he thinks of. Ninja tools is another. Clothes should be on the list as well, but this is a Naruto. No small child wants clothes for presents.

"Watcha up to?" Kurama asks.

"Thinking of a letter to write to Santa-san."

"Who's Sanda-san?"

"Someone who will give me presents apparently." Naruto then gets to his table where his paper and pen are waiting for him. Kurama hunches over his shoulder looking at Naruto's opening statement.

Dear Santa-san,

Hi, it's me, Naruto. This year, I've been extra good, so

PBTBT!

Naruto stops writing and looks up to a Kurama with both of his hands over his mouth struggling to keep his laugher in.

"Perhaps you need to drink a glass of water."

Kurama turns towards the cupboards and starts walking away, "You know what, I think I do."

Naruto then erases a bit of his writing so far. He wants to embellish a little.

I've been extremely good* this year.

"That aughta do it." Naruto picks up his paper to admire his genius.

Kurama, now properly hydrated, picks up the paper and sees the asterisk. He then tilts the page slightly and looks at it from an angle. It reveals a note at the bottom of the page.

*Good is such a subjective term. Compared to previous years, I have been really good this year. My pranking has been kept to a minimum. Therefore, I have been "extremely good" this year.

Kurama looks back to Naruto, "Obviously, you're hoping Sanda-san won't read the disclosure in the footnote at the bottom. Though, you did hide it with that special ink you bought recently."

"I got the idea from all those shinobi advertisements. Seem to have no sales on stuff whenever I get there."

He takes the letter back from Kurama, "Anyways, I need to get cracking. I have a long list of things I want." Naruto has a list he made a long time ago. In one of his endless boredoms before Kurama, Naruto made a list of all the things he wanted. Stashed away in an envelope underneath the floorboards, Naruto takes it out. Twenty-five pages worth of everything he wanted. In alphabetical order. Naruto erases some of the things on the list and stuffs it into the envelope.

"It doesn't fit." Kurama notes.

"Luckily I have this box from when we went to the supermarket and forgot the food bag. Can you get the tape?"

With the package complete, the pair head to the nearest post box to mail their list.

"Thanks for helping me mail my package." Naruto says.

"It sure was heavy. Did we use enough postage?"

"Of cooooouurse we did."

"I hope Sanda-san doesn't throw it out when he gets it. He probably is only used to envelopes."

Naruto is indignant. "Well, he better bring me everything on the list. I'm making up for lost presents here. And I've been extremely* good this year!"

"What about the Noodle incident?"

"NO ONE CAN PROVE THAT WAS ME!"

"Anyways, the old man said that we need to match some of the decorations around the village. Can't have our apartment not festive he says. Come on, he told us to go to this store." Naruto points in the direction across the village.

Truthfully, the postage didn't matter at all when it came to the package. Well, at least that is what Dog was expecting when he opened the Post Office box that night. He was tasked by the Hokage to go to the mail box and get an envelope labeled for:

Santa-San

101 Candy Cane Lane

North Pole

He thought he was going to have a hard time finding it with all the other envelopes, instead there was a box with it. A crude taping job to make sure its contents don't fall out and handwriting that matches the Hokage's.

'Oh dear.' Dog thinks to himself. Judging by the weight, Dog has a good feeling of how many items are on the list. 'He's going to be one disappointed kid.'

Shortly after Sarutobi sent Naruto on his way, he called Dog into his office. He told Dog of the small ruse. The village was indeed decorated around this time, but that is for the New Years festival, not the arrival of some man giving presents to children. The Hokage tasked his trusty ANBU of making a stop at the closest mail box to Naruto's apartment, find an envelope addressed to 'Santa-san,' and get a few items from the list. He was told he would get reimbursed for expenses to a certain point.

Dog was told that it would be a couple of items. 'How did he write down every-. Ah, some of the things look in different handwriting and different ink. Meaning he had this list for a long time.' At least some of the things are still redundant. "He wants five thousand paint bombs. Five thousand? Geez."

"Well, at least some of these things are doable."

Kurama bursts through the apartment door. "Naruto, look! You got a letter!"

"A letter? I never get any mail. The Old Man said it would always go to him first. It's for me?"

Kurama hands it over to Naruto. "Yeah! And the return address says the North Pole!"

Naruto, not even looking at the return address, eyes bug out. "OH MY GOSH! It must be from Santa-san! I got a letter from him!"

"Read it, read it." Kurama chanted.

"Dear Naruto, you rotten little kid… OH NO! He called me rotten. He must have known!"

"Keep reading Naruto."

"I read through your list. All of the prank supplies. I thought you were extremely good this year. Obviously, you're the naughtiest kid in the world."

"What else does it say." Kurama tries to keep Naruto focused on reading the entire letter.

"I'm writing to you because you have seven days to improve yourself. Seven days! Oh thank goodness. I still have a chance. But what can I do?"

"Maybe he says somewhere."

"I'd suggest you start by helping animals. By being kind to animals for seven days, it will definitely bring you many of your presents. Perhaps you know of one that could use a snack. Or you should let one read your magazines. Think about it. Well, that doesn't seem so bad."

"Sounds like advice worthy of a sage." Kurama closes his eyes and leans back. "Yes, very wise advice."

"Wait a minute, Signed Sanda-san. SanDA-san?! Where's the letter-HA! It says SANDA-san on the return address. You nincompoop! It's Santa-san! And this handwriting, it's definitely yours Kurama!"

Naruto rolls his sleeves up a bit. "A snack huh, how about a knuckle sandwich wise guy."

Kurama is napping next to the heater on a cold December night.

"Hey, Kurama….Kuraaaama. It's bedtime."

"Gee, you woke up for that." He responds sarcastically.

Moving to the bathroom, Naruto starts brushing his teeth while Kurama combs his fur.

"I wo_bu_ wh_ h_ns_, ahhh." Naruto spits out his toothpaste so he can talk properly. "I wonder what happens when we sleep. Like, why do we dream?"

Moving out of the bathroom, the duo climb into bed. "Do our brains get bored? I wonder why we don't just plain sleep."

Kurama starts fluffing his pillow. "I think we dream so that we don't have to be apart for so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play all night long."

Raising his eyebrows at the realization. "Hey, yeah!" Naruto then extends his arm and hand towards Kurama, "Well, see ya in a couple of minutes, ol' buddy."

"I'll be right there."

Christmas Eve

On the window panes, the icy frost

Leaves feathered patterns, crissed & crossed

But in our house the Christmas tree

Is decorated festively

With tiny dots of colored light

That cozy up this winter night

Christmas songs, familiar, slow

Play softly on the radio

Pops and hisses from the fire

Whistle with the bells and choir

My fox is now fast asleep

On his back and dreaming deep

When the fire makes him hot

He turns to warm whatever's not

Propped against him on the rug

I give my friend a gentle hug

Tomorrow's what I'm waiting for

But I can wait, a little more