Sunlight was beating against my closed eyes. I blinked open against the bright light, the heaviness of the limbs that were too comfortable, had gotten too little sleep, biding me back to bed. Stretching my arms, I sat up, blinking away sleep until the infirmary room came back into focus. Memories from last night circled in my head, I had spent hours beside the bedside window, going to bed only after my exhaustion could be ignored no longer. My stomach growled and I swung my feet out from under the covers, looking forward to whatever weekend meal was being served at the Great Hall today. My feet hit the cold floor and I gasped in pain, the weight under my right leg buckling. Hadn't I taken SkeleGro? It should have been fixed my now… I hobbled myself to the nearby lavatory and quickly cleaned myself up with my wand, hair combed back, skin washed, robes straightened… It wasn't much, but it would have to do. I sighed as I examined the appearance of myself in the mirror. Eyes that were too hardened, a face that had lost its fat roundness too quickly, a tight line of lips pressed together. I was only 19 yet I felt decades aged over the last few months, and I looked like it too. I shuddered to think what I would look like in a few years if I kept up living at this pace.

In my absence, Madam Pomfrey had taken to cleaning up the infirmary, her brisk healer attitude taking in my re-appearance. "Tsk," she chastised me. "Didn't you sleep at all, child? Obviously not." She went on without waiting for a reply. "The SkeleGro would have set if you had slept."

"I found I couldn't sleep."

Madam Pomfrey waved her wand and the covers of the bed I had slept in straightened. "That is what we give Dreamless Sleep for. Tonight, you will be quite sore, you will have only delayed your healing by another day."

I slanted my eyes toward where the Dreamless Sleep potion sat, on the bedside table nearest the bed that I had dove under last night, blue sparking contents untouched. I walked gingerly over to the potion and pocketed it before Madam Pomfrey had the chance to chastise me about my continued health delinquency. She didn't seem like the type of nurse to put up with much excuses.

"And just why do you have several of the beds in here mused?" She demanded, her sharp Healer's eyes missing nothing. "Were there any guests I didn't know about?"

"Erm, no. I just woke up and went back to the wrong bed, I guess."

She huffed. "Just rest on that leg of yours, I have half a mind to keep you here today knowing all the wandering you've done on it in the Infirmary."

I grimaced. "No, I think it's nearly healed."

Madam Pomfrey snorted. "Yes, as surely as the merpeople sing like angels. No, you will only be discharged if you can follow my directions. Take your dreamless sleep tonight, you'll need it. Rest early, if you can, and eat big meals. It takes energy to heal that leg of yours, so you'll need the proper fuel to do it."

"Sounds manageable. Thank you for healing me."

The healer didn't nod but just pressed a slip of parchment of written instructions into my hands. "And see me back if it fails to improve!" She reminded me as I exited the Infirmary.

"Way to the Dining Hall?" I asked a painting of an old, matronly witch. She pointed and I hobbled down the direction of the hall.

I hobbled into the Dining Hall. It was as empty as I'd ever seen it, with only a few clusters of students scattered around House tables. I sat down at Gryffindor- there were only two first years at the far end- thankful to be left alone with my thoughts. Pouring myself a large cup of coffee and not even bothering with the creamer I hastily gulped down the scalding liquid. I stole a furtive glance towards the Slytherin table. Nobody I recognized, thank goodness. The Head Table was empty save for Professor Filch, who looked enthralled in some reading. I pressed my lips together as I angrily buttered a piece of toast. He wouldn't be there, anyways… it's the wrong time outside of meals… Not to be trusted, anyways.

Back in Gryffindor common room, I stretched out on one of the large maroon chairs by the window, tucked away in the corner, a mug of hot coffee spelled to keep warm on the elegant mahogany side table. A songbird swooped by the window, high above the grounds, tittering eagerly in the tepid rays of autumn. I smiled, just happy to have some time to myself, where I felt safe. Away from Dumbledore, away from the Death Eaters, away from the Slytherins. Up here, in this tower, I felt tucked away and hidden.

I cracked open my Charms reading and pulled out a quill to begin drafting my essay. I took a sip of my coffee, relishing in the rich undertones of the smooth earthy roast that is only tasted after a night of poor sleep. My quill scratched in the margins of my book. The common room was deserted save for a few students walking through, their footsteps muffled on the plush carpeting. The tension in my shoulders eased and I kept writing.

The sunshine from the window was streaming through now, casting my text into bright light. The warmth of the sun on my skin felt like a blanket. I exhaled more slowly and settled down more deeply in my chair. My eyes slipped shut as the sun hit my face. The Common Room was silent except for my breath and the far-off chirping of birds. Warmth and peace enveloped me...

"Oi!"

I jerked awake, one hand reaching for my wand, the other flailing wildly. Tue coffee mug crashed to the floor, spilling hot liquid over my charm's textbook.

"It's me!"

I blinked as my surroundings came into focus, Fred's red hair, the common room. I had my wand pointed at his neck.

"Sorry." I hastily stowed my wand away.

"Guess you're spooked easily," Fred gave me a cheeky grin.

I laughed and sat up in my chair. "Oh, no, my charm texts."

He pulled his wand and siphoned off the spilled coffee. "Reparo," he handed me my mug.

"I haven't seen you since they brought you to the hospital wing. McGonagall wouldn't let me stay overnight."

"Yeah, they repaired my leg with some SkeleGro," I explained. "I didn't sleep well there."

"Didn't they give you Dreamless sleep?" Fred looked inquisitive.

"I, ah, forgot to take it. There were too many thoughts in my head I had to work through."

The common room had filled when I slept. There were students engaged in conversation or else wise engaged in their school. I saw Harry, Ron, and Hermione by the fireplace, heads leaned in together, talking earnestly. The window beside me had taken on a dusky tone of twilight.

"Ah," Fred nodded. "Say, I've got some posts to bring to the Owlery, if you'd like to come along."

I nodded and stood gingerly. My leg gave a small throb, but the rest had helped bring the pain down some.

We exited the Common Room together and out into the hallway where it was immediately quiet. I fell in line beside Fred, our footsteps echoing across the corridor.

"Dumbledore came to talk with me." I started to talk, then stopped.

I bit my lip, unsure of how to continue. My anger at the Headmaster surged again. All of his lies, his dishonesty with me came rushing back.

"What did he say? Are they expelling Montague?"

"I wish. No, he seemed to think the Slytherins were honest about their motives to defend their Quidditch team. He's not doing anything."

Fred swore. "Cody, I don't know what you did to Montague, but he really has it in for you. It's not just Quidditch, is it?"

"No, it's not." I said slowly.

"Do you know why he might want to do you in, any inkling? If we can get ahead of this, we can put a stop to it. He's attacked you twice" Fred talked earnestly about his plans

I shook my head and took a deep breath as we began our descent up to the Owlery.

"I say it's time we fight back. Really stop this stuff once and for all. I know a few hexes that will put him in his place, completely undetectable."

I laughed. "Honestly, Fred, I'm so happy to have you on my side."

He smiled back at me, face reddening slightly. "Well, us Gryffindors have to keep an eye on one another."

We had arrived in the Owlery, the only humans yet hundreds of owls. They were unperturbed by our presences, flitting about the high ceilings or else perched on the rails. The last bit of sunlight was sliding beneath the horizon and the sky was a heady mixture of pinks and hazy blues of oncoming darkness. Owls were awakening for the night, preening their feathers before taking out into the night through the windowless openings. A soft breeze was blowing through, keeping the scent of birds to a minimum.

"It's beautiful up here," I said softly, feet carrying me to the nearest opening to take in the panoramic views of the grounds, wind tousling my hair.

"It sure is," Fred said, his voice hoarse.

I tore my eyes away from the sunset to look at him. He was looking at me and gave me a crooked smile down his long nose. He took a half step closer to me and raised an arm to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear.

I smiled and looked back at the grounds. "These views are nothing like my previous school." I said softly, awash with homesickness.

Fred's hand froze by my ear. "You're previous school?"

Oh, shit. "Uh," I stammered out.

"I thought you said you were homeschooled, Cody." he lowered his hand slightly and looked at me, a hint of suspicion tinging his voice.

"I, uh... Did say that." my voice had risen until it sounded shrill in my own ears, tinny and fake. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

"Why did you lie?" Fred had stepped back, looking at me reproachfully.

"I have to," I stammered out in a rush. "I couldn't say anything, not really… I really am American. But I'm not homeschooled. I went to Ivermony. But nobody can know. Not even George, I mean, I didn't even mean to say anything tonight, he forbade me to speak of it."

Fred interrupted me. "Who forbade you?"

"Dumbledore," I whispered.

"Our Dumbledore, as in the Headmaster?"

"Yes." I nodded miserably. "I can't say anything more, I really can't, I'm not supposed to. Nobody can know." I swallowed. "I have secrets that could get people killed if they get out."

He drew his eyebrows together and looked at me. "Is there something I'm missing out on? George? Even for you this joke has fallen flat, not in good taste at all. And I would appreciate it if you wouldn't follow me up to the Owlery." Fred spun around, as if expecting his twin to materialize from behind an owl.

"It's not a joke, Fred." I said, mouth dry. "I'm serious."

"Cody."

"Fred." I looked at him imploringly, begging him to understand. I took a deep breath and found that it was shaky. The sun had slipped behind the horizon, leaving us shrouded in early evening darkness. I saw Fred's blue eyes looking into mine, as if he could discern the truth there. He couldn't. I knew he couldn't because of my damn Occlumency skills that had put me in this situation in the first place.

"I'm missing out on something here." He ran his hand through his wind-tousled hair. "I don't understand, but I want to. Can you at least explain a little more?"

I watched a snowy white owl fly from the attics and out into the night, darkness swallowing it like a speck.

"I hate him." I blurted out into the darkness, staring straight ahead

"Who?"

"Dumbledore. I came here for his help, but he's done nothing to me so far, except lie to me and have me lie to others." My rage at Dumbledore came back in a vengeance. So, what if he forbade me not to tell anyone? When has he had my best interest out at heart? I hadn't forgotten how he had let two attacks occur to me, and his promise to Professor Snape that I was nothing more than a weapon. Well… this weapon had a brain, and a mouth, and it was time to think for myself.

"You deserve the truth especially after rescuing me twice from Montague. I came to Hogwarts seeking Dumbledore's help. I knew he was the only wizard strong enough to protect me… I was desperate and it was mostly by chance, anyways, just whispers on the street. I needed help, any help I could get. You see, he's the only wizard strong enough to protect me from You-Know-Who."

Fred swore loudly. "And this isn't a joke?"

"No, Fred, I wish it was." I said sadly. "I was at Ilvermorny until March last year, when I came home to find the Dark Mark over my house and my parent's gone. I don't know if they're alive or dead. I don't know where they are. I don't even know how to get them back. I ran as soon as I saw the Dark Mark, there were wizards there, waiting for me," a tear had gushed from my eye and I angrily swiped at it. "So, they followed me, but I escaped. But they kept following me, and I never really escaped, you know? It was never over. I was on the run, one place after another and it seemed like they would always find me. It was just a matter of time until they caught up, so I knew I couldn't run forever. There were whispers back in America about Dumbledore and his Order of the Phoenix that fights back against You-Know-Who, but mostly, we were all separate from that stuff… it didn't really touch us over there. It was just another foreign country going through turmoil. We just heard it in the news, in our history classes, we never really saw it, you know. It never really came over to the US. Until he came for me. And so, I ran because I had to, because I had to survive." The tears were falling freely from my face now, turning from hot into ice cold as the evening's wind blew against my face. "I ended up here by chance, it's only by dumb luck I'm alive. I ran into a wizard, Lupin, in Galway. He had fought off a couple of Death Eaters that had been tailing me but spotted him, and I figured anyone brave enough to go up a couple of them was one of the good guys. And I was right. He brought me to Dumbledore. And here I am."

"Lupin, as in, Remus Lupin?" Fred asked.

"Yes, that's him."

He yelped. "He never told me! I just saw him." Seeing my confused expression, he added "Lupin was our Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher a few years back. And now he's a family friend, you see-" Fred's voice lowered conspiratorially with mine. "He's one of the Order of the Phoenix."

"You know about the Order?" I asked, shocked.

Fred straightened up, looking affronted. "Me? Know about it? I should be inducted as a member by now, but they say I'm too young, even though both George and I are of age. And willing to fight." he scoffed. "My parents are both members. We spent all summer at Headquarters in-" but Fred's tongue seemed to catch on itself and he coughed. "Oh, that's right. Its secret kept."

"Fred! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Touché," I retorted. "It's just… you're one of them. One of the good guys." I exhaled. "I've been so alone since I got here."

Fred nodded. "Blimey, Cody, I don't blame you for wanting to keep that quiet."

"It wasn't me," I shook my head. "Dumbledore is going to kill me if he finds out you know."

"He won't find out." Fred said confidently.

I bit my lip. It sure seemed like secrets at Hogwarts wouldn't be easily concealable with two great Legilimens on staff, but I didn't argue with Fred. That was one part of myself that I wasn't able to share yet. Something about it just seemed wrong.

"Say, Cody?"

I looked at Fred. "Why did they come after you in the first place? Is it related to Montague?"

"Dumbledore thinks so. But we aren't certain yet. Montague's father may be trying to move up ranks within the Death Eaters."

"And delivering you would be the prize he needs to get ahead."

"Exactly." I nodded.

Fred let out a low whistle. "That's some serious problems you have."

I nodded, wiping my eyes against the sleeves of my robes. "I thought I would be safe here," I whispered.

Fred pulled a wand out of his pocket and waved it, it vanished with a poof and turned into a handkerchief. "Joke wand," he muttered. "But it serves its purpose."

"Thanks," I took it and blew not-so-daintily.

"I will have your back." Fred said solemnly. "And I'm sure if I talk to George, he will have your back too. I could write to Mum, tell her the situation, see she's part of the Order and when she says something, they really listen."

"No!" I exclaimed. "Not yet, I don't want anyone knowing."

"Not even George?" Fred asked hopefully.

"Yes...but not yet."

"Okay," Fred exhaled. "You know what's strange, Cody?"

"Huh?"

"I spent all summer at Headquarters and I never once heard you mentioned in the meetings. And believe me, I listened in to a lot of meetings."

"I don't think Dumbledore wants anyone knowing about me," I explained my theory to Fred. "He thinks if nobody knows who I am, then they won't think to look for me here. After all, I'm kind of hiding in plain sight. Dumbledore is relying on a lot to take me in as a student, for no one to recognize me, for one. But Montague did the first time he saw me, so that's already out. I'm actually not sure why he decided to stay here to complete my schooling."

"Dumbledore's a powerful wizard. If he wanted to keep you safe here, just his presence alone would be enough to protect you. It's enough for Harry, after all."

"Hmm." I contemplated. "So, you're in the Order, then?"

Fred smirked. "Well, just about. Mum says it's too dangerous, when I'm still in school, but my whole family is. My older brothers, Bill and Charley, both joined up straight away when we restarted a few years back. Mum about had a fit, but seeing as they were both of age, she couldn't do anything. And my parents both fought the first time. They said they knew when Dumbledore owled them last year, it was time to join again. If Dumbledore says You-Know-Who is back, then he is. Although nobody believes it yet," he scowled.

"Who else is in the Order then, is Ron?"

"No," Fred said. "He's too young still. Although he gets into more mischief than George and I do with Harry it seems. Professor McGonagall is. And Flitwick. Dumbledore says Snape is, and he would come by Headquarters sometimes, in the summer, but none of us really trust him… Lupin, you've met him, some others, but that's all at Hogwarts. There's not as many as the first time. We lost a lot of people in the first war. Mum told me once with all of us Weasleys, it feels like about half the Order is made of our family, now."

"Your whole family… Fred, how many siblings do you have?"

"Six,"

"So, the Order is what… a couple dozen people then?"

"I guess so." Fred said solemnly. "Like I said, we lost a lot of people the first time. Harry's an orphan, both his parents fought against You-Know-Who. Same with Neville." At my confused look, he added "A Gryffindor a few years below us. People are scared, they don't want to fight, they remembered how bad it was last time. Everyone had lost someone, a mother, an uncle, a sibling. And now, everyone is hoping that if we all just ignore You-Know-Who, it will be like he was never back! Just look at The Profit, look at Umbridge and her Ministry-sanctioned propaganda!"

Fred kicked the wall and scared a nearby owl into flight. "But if we don't fight, who will?" he ran his hand through his hair. "The only thing worse than being a dark wizard, is being an indifferent once. We don't have a choice."

"No, we don't," I said softly, reflecting on Dumbledore's decision to make me into a weapon. Did I truly have a choice in this war, anymore? Especially now that I had been marked as wanted by You-Know-Who. Did Dumbledore really have a choice to use me as a weapon? Maybe things weren't as simple as they seemed.

We stood quietly for several minutes, both of us lost in our thoughts by the window. The cool night air in my lungs cleansed me and gave me clarity of thought. The cold of my fingers against the stone, the bite of my toes against the ground, somehow seemed unimportant in this moment, the conversation was my source of warmth that warded off the chill.

"So, you do think that Montague is somehow tied up with You-Know-Who?"

"Yeah, that's what Dumbledore thinks."

Fred grimaced. "One more attack, Cody, and I swear, Montague is done for. I'm not putting up with him anymore. Especially if he's going to try delivering you to You-Know-Who wrapped up like a present."

"I know, I don't know what would have happened if you wouldn't have been there. I'm abysmal at dueling. And Montague just makes me so uncomfortable. I have to see him in Potions every day and I don't know if he's going to attack me that day or not remember me! It's disconcerting. I don't know why on earth Dumbledore thought this was a good idea."

"He has his reasons," Fred said wisely.

I chewed my fingernail worryingly. "I just hope they're the right reasons." I stretched my legs and found that they were both numb. It was pitch black out now, a cloudy night without stars or a moon. I found that I was shaking from the cold, a tremor in my hands and a slight chatter in my teeth. "It's cold out here."

Fred pulled his wand from his pocket and cast a quick warming charm for us both. "I suppose we better get back, seeing as how it's already past curfew."

I nodded and pulled my robes around me, walking with Fred back to Gryffindor common room.

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