Do not own Orange Is The New Black or any of the characters.
Sorry, I didn't mean to be gone for so long on this story, but life got in the way. Lol
Anyway, here is a very long chapter to make up for it!
Enjoy!
Monday, November 4th, 2002- Part 1
Alex lay awake in the early hours of the morning, listening to the soft pitter-patter of rain outside the open window of the bedroom. She stared up at the popcorn ceiling, deep in thought.
Ever since last week, she couldn't get Piper out of her dreams. The blondes' smiling face seemed to be there every time she closed her eyes. Normally, she wouldn't mind a few sexy dreams. But when it became a regular thing every night, it got old quick. Especially, when the person in those dreams comes by daily to the coffee shop where you work to study or just to say hi. Let's just say, it's become a little more complicated than just a few sexy dreams.
Piper was not only Alex's friend now, but someone she was definitely starting to have strong feelings for. Feelings that pushed the lines of "just a crush" into something much deeper.
At this thought, she looked guiltily over Sylvie's sleeping form. Alex knew she didn't have anything to be really guilty about...not yet that was. Nothing had really happened between her and Piper. Their relationship was still very much an innocent friendship between fellow classmates and Barista and customer. From the outside, it didn't look like anything. But the inappropriate thoughts that swirled constantly in the brunette's head every time the blonde was around painted a much different picture. Alex knew better than to be thinking about someone else while she was still with Sylvie. But no matter how many times she told herself it was wrong, she still allowed herself to go there. She didn't try to put any distance between herself and Piper. She couldn't keep herself from smirking and flirting with Piper every time she'd stepped through the door of the coffee shop over the past week either. And knowing that Piper now had a new fondness for pussy, it made her want the blonde even more.
If Piper had remained just another hot, straight girl, Alex would still probably fantasize about her, just not on an emotional level. It would be like fantasizing about a celebrity or someone who was unreachable…an innocent, healthy obsession.
But now, everything felt messy and complicated to her.
Alex groaned inwardly at the mess she was in before getting quickly but quietly out of bed. She was too wired up to get any sleep now. She needed to do something, but she wasn't sure exactly what.
If she was one of those people that were into fitness, this would definitely be the time to go for a run or to do some sort of gym workout. But Alex despised working out and just about any physical activity besides sex, of course.
Alex raked a hand through tangled locks while the other rubbed sand from her left eye as she made her way into a dark kitchen. The harsh red light of the oven clock blinked at her. As she dropped her hands to her sides, she squinted at the time flashing, trying to read the blurred numbers. She hadn't bothered to put on her glasses as she got out of bed, mere moments ago, a decision she was slowly regretting.
A few seconds passed before Alex was able to read the time clearly. It was just past three in the morning. "That is way too fucking early to be up on a Monday," she thought to herself, especially when she doesn't have to be anywhere for at least another six hours. But here she was anyway… up and wide awake.
Alex swore under her breath as her big toe caught on the hem of her pajama pants and she nearly face planted. But instead of falling face-first to the floor, she caught herself and sidestepped, crashing painfully into the side of the counter instead.
She cursed again, this time louder as she straightened herself and her hip flared in pain. She most definitely will have a bruise there later. Rubbing at her hip, Alex slowly made her way to the fridge and opened it with her other hand.
Alex stared aimlessly into the depth of the fridge. She wasn't sure what she was looking for or even if she wanted anything. She was itching for a drink but she knew there wasn't any to be found.
A finger or two of whiskey is what she craved at that moment, just enough to relax her body and nudge her back to a night of deep sleep. But there wasn't a drop of alcohol in the apartment. Sylvie had gotten rid of everything in her transition to becoming sober. She'd even managed to throw out the emergency vodka that Alex had put in the back of the freezer months ago for some forgotten reason now.
A dog barked in the distance as she continued to stand there, rubbing at her side, allowing for the coldness of the open fridge to wash over her for a few moments longer before letting out a deep sigh.
Well, if she couldn't have a drink, she was, at least, going to indulge in some cake. "Thank God that Sylvie hadn't decided to give up sugar," thought Alex to herself as she suddenly leaned down and grabbed for the cellophane-wrapped plate of chocolate cake. It was leftover from one of Sylvie's baking endeavors.
She left the fridge door open for a second longer, using it as a light source as she rummaged around in one of the drawers for a fork before closing it. She then made her way carefully into the living room. Taking a seat on the lumpy couch, she turned on the lamp before unwrapping the slice of cake and taking a seriously satisfying bite from it.
Rich, fudgy chocolate cake was the next best thing to aged whiskey.
As Alex sits in the stillness of the apartment enjoying every mouthful of cake, she allows her mind to drift once again towards Piper.
They'd seen a lot of each other over the past week, almost every day except for Sunday really, and in just a few hours, probably again for their early morning class. A wave of guilt filled her stomach suddenly as she thought about Piper and class. Despite it being weeks since their first meeting, the blonde had yet to discover Alex's secret about not really being a student. A part of her wanted to tell Piper the truth, because it was becoming harder and harder to make up excuses on why she didn't want to study with Piper or do assignments together. It was something that the blonde asked almost weekly now. It wasn't that Alex didn't want to be honest with her. She did. It was just that she was afraid that Piper would judge her on some level and stop wanting to be her friend.
That was the last thing that Alex wanted.
Licking frosting off the back of the fork, she closed her eyes and replayed every interaction she'd had with the blonde over the last week.
Last Tuesday...
It didn't take a genius to realize that Piper had gotten some the night prior as she practically came skipping into the coffee house mere moments after Alex had flipped the sign on the door from closed to open.
"Well, well…look at you! Someone is a chipper bunny this morning!" Despite the snake of jealousy beginning to awaken in her stomach as all her thoughts of last night came rushing to her, Alex couldn't help but tease Piper. She hated to admit it, but she'd been up all night with thoughts of what Piper and Zelda were getting up to. And seeing her now in the bright morning light, Alex was feeling conflicted. Yes, she was jealous of not being the one to take Piper's "flower." Not being the one to put that brightness in her step, that easy smile across her face. That sheer, easy to read look that screamed that Piper had had sex last night and was on cloud nine. As much as Alex hated to see Piper so happy on that morning, she also never wanted to see Piper any way other than this happy ever again. It made her beauty twice as radiant. And it made Alex's desire run even deeper for the blonde.
Piper just smiled sheepishly, a touch of pink brushing against her cheeks as she boldly met Alex's eye before looking away quickly. Piper hated how easily Alex could read her at the moment. She knew she couldn't keep the smile off of her face, but it still made her uncomfortable given the way that Alex was looking at her… knowing what she had done last night.
"Why shouldn't I be chipper? It's a beautiful morning!"
" A beautiful morning indeed!" Replied Alex, as she gave the blonde a knowing smile before walking past her and going behind the counter.
"So… did you come here to spill or what?" teased Alex as she adjusted her glasses and smirked at Piper. She didn't want to hear all the details of last night, but she didn't want Piper to go away so soon either.
"I...I I came here for coffee!" stuttered Piper, blushing slightly at Alex's bluntness. She did want to tell Alex about last night. She knew she would have to tell someone soon. She couldn't tell Polly just yet and Alex was her only other friend who would understand and not judge her. But Piper also didn't want to gush about her first slightly awkward but overall good time with a woman in such a public place.
"Really?" Alex couldn't help but cock an eyebrow up at this in surprise.
"Not here… it's too open."
" No one is fucking here." Nicky was in the back doing inventory but Alex wasn't going to mention that. That would just scare the blonde away faster.
Piper frowned slightly before chewing on her bottom lip deep in thought. Her insides were screaming to tell Alex about last night. She desperately wanted to compare and contrast notes on sex with a woman. She knew it was a little stupid of her, but she wanted to know if she had done it right. She was pretty sure Zelda had had a good time. She was pretty sure she had climaxed. But she also knew that women had been known to fake it, at least in straight relationships. So she wondered if the same could be said for same-sex relationships too?
"You don't have to give all the details away…" offered Alex as she gave Piper a soft smile before moving towards the espresso machine. Despite Piper not ordering anything yet, Alex began to make her a drink anyway. The slight awkward tension between them was killing her and she realized she needed to do something with herself other than stand there looking at Piper. " Just tell me this...did you enjoy it?"
Alex cocked an eyebrow and smirked at the blonde as she turned a deep crimson colour and looked suddenly down at her feet with interest.
Oh yeah, Piper had enjoyed it!
The wind whistled loudly against the apartment windows as Alex finished off the slice of cake. Her thoughts were deep and filled with confusion as she continued to sit against the pillows of the couch.
She hadn't seen or heard from Piper since Thursday night at the party. She still didn't know what to say or do when they finally did see each other later on today.
So they'd kissed.
That was all in the grand scheme of things. Just a kiss. A drunken, slightly sloppy, but good fucking kiss.
It had happened out of the blue. And Alex knew she should regret it. She wanted to regret it, she really did. But as much as she willed herself to do so, she couldn't muster the energy. She'd dreamt about what it would be like to kiss Piper and now that she had, she knew it wouldn't be long before she wanted a second.
It was all still very confusing, to say the least. Because after it had happened, they'd gone their separate ways back to their partners. Alex had stumbled home to find Sylvie up and waiting for her on this very couch. The moment she'd seen her, she'd had flashbacks to coming home late at night in high school to her mother waiting for her. Alex had been ready for another fight as her eyes locked on the face of her girlfriend. She was ready for the lecture that would surely come spilling out of Sylvie's lips any minute.
No lecture came though.
Just an apology.
And just like that, everything was alright again or so it would seem.
But as Alex took a seat beside Sylvie and allowed for her to be held close, her thoughts began to tumble. She'd thought for sure that arriving home in her drunken state would be the end of her and Sylvie for good this time. She thought they'd go their separate ways, that Sylvie would move back to her own place and that Alex would be free to start something with Piper.
Alex knew she could easily tell Sylvie what had happened at the party and that she would break up with her. She knew this to the core. She'd done it once before. However, the words weren't as easy this time around as they had been in those early weeks.
Sylvie was in a vulnerable state at the moment and Alex would just come off looking like a jackass. "Hell, she already kind of was a jackass," she thought, as the kiss flashed in her mind.
Last Thursday, Halloween.
Pop music blared out from the entrance of the building in which the annual literature department Halloween party was being held.
Only students with Literature or English majors were allowed to attend with one guest, but that rule only worked in theory. Despite the best efforts of the organizers of the yearly event, students of all departments made it through the doors. It made the headcount go through the roof, which always made someone on campus complain, which always made the police come to force the event to an end.
And this year would luckily be the same.
Despite the warning letter and email that had gone out to all students in the English department along with their two allowed tickets to the party, it hadn't stopped Piper from inviting not only Zelda, but all her roommates and Alex.
Piper had been attending the annual Halloween bash since she'd first come to Smith. She had only ever followed the rules of bringing one guest outside of the English department, freshman year. After that, she'd invited all her friends from different departments, knowing that everyone did the same. And this year was no different. And she hadn't really invited Alex, just merely mentioned it because she figured Alex was a student of the English department and already had her own two tickets.
However, when Piper had brought up the party the day before at the coffee shop during one of her breaks in class, Alex had no idea what she was talking about. Piper was surprised by this, since everyone who went to Smith knew about the party or so she assumed.
Piper wondered if she would see Alex tonight as she made her way up the stairs with her roommates. Zelda was meeting her inside having given her a ticket earlier. The blonde was still a little unsure about how she should introduce Zelda to her friends. She knew Zelda wanted to meet them and it was only fair after meeting Zelda's friends the other night. But it still felt a little rushed for the blonde. She and Zelda hadn't been going out that long and this whole queer thing was still very fresh. Piper didn't want to hide herself or Zelda from her friends, but she was afraid of how they were going to react to the news. She wasn't ready to be open yet.
Once getting passed the security point at the entrance, which was a breeze even though there was really only one ticket between the group of friends, they made their way further into the old, supposedly haunted building.
"PIPES!"
Piper immediately turned and grinned at seeing Zelda. "Hey," she spoke as she broke away from her friends and enclosed the space between them. She resisted the urge to reach out and kiss the redhead. Something she'd grown accustomed to doing every time she saw her.
Zelda smiled reassuringly at Piper and reached out briefly to take her hand and give it a squeeze before letting it go.
"Look at you, Super Girl!" Zelda's eyes looked over Piper from head to toe, taking in the blonde's costume.
Piper grinned and did a little pose for Zelda. She was pretty proud of her outfit. She had made it herself (well…made it as in going to the local thrift store) instead of buying one of those over priced, mass-produced costumes from Wal-Mart. Her costume was made up of a red, pleated mini skirt, a blue long sleeve top which she had cropped, a red bed-sheet for a cape, red converse high-tops, and red knee-high socks. Her long hair was done up in two high pigtails.
"I love your costume too," spoke Piper after a second had passed and she took in what Zelda had on. Zelda was dressed up as a sexy Velma.
"Who's your friend?" asked Polly as she came to stand beside Piper.
"Oh right…" murmured Piper as she looked briefly at her friends which had come to crowd around her and Zelda. She chewed on her lower lip for a second before making introductions. "Polly, Everyone, this is Zelda...she's my friend from yoga."
"Zelda, this is Polly, Jasmine, Clara, and Shelby. My roommates." Piper gestured to the group of girls on either side of her. Like most friends in college, they had decided to make all their costumes go together. They were all dressed up as some type of superhero.
There were murmurs of hi's and nice to meet you as they were all introduced to one another.
"OH MY GOSH! I LOVE THIS SONG!" cried out Shelby drunkenly as the music suddenly changed. The group of girls had done a little pre-drinking back at the house before heading to the party, so they were all a little buzzed.
Piper couldn't help but laugh as Shelby grabbed Jasmine's arm and dragged her off to the dance floor in the adjoining room.
"I'm going to go find booze!" announced Clara after a moment had passed. "I don't know about all of you, but I'm not nearly drunk enough yet to dance."
"Me either," agreed Polly. "You comin'?" She shifted her attention onto Piper as if knowing what she was hiding. Her brown eyes bore into Piper's face before shifting over to Zelda for a second and back.
"You guys go ahead. I'm going to pee first...I drank way too many coolers before coming here," lied Piper to her friend. She didn't want to think about what Polly was thinking at the moment as she continued to give Piper that look.
Polly looked briefly at Piper for a second longer before waving goodbye and following Clara in search of the bar.
Piper waited until Polly and Clara were out of sight before daring to turn back to Zelda. "What? What's wrong?" asked Piper as she noted the look on Zelda's face.
"Nothin'," replied Zelda, somewhat shortly. "Nothin' is wrong, Pipes."
"I don't believe you," Piper took a step closer to Zelda. She reached out and took both her hands in hers, her eyes searching her face.
Zelda held Piper's gaze for a second before sighing and looking away briefly for a second. "You called me your friend...your yoga friend."
"So? You are my friend from yoga!"
"We're clearly more than friends."
"I know that...but you know I can't tell them about you...about us...not yet…"
Zelda just huffed in reply but remained silent. Piper had clearly offended her in some way and she didn't know how to fix it.
"Look, Zel, I'm sorry you don't like it. I don't like it either. But I'm not ready. I told you that. This is all still pretty fucking new to me. Look, I don't want to fight."
"Me either," whispered Zelda in reply.
"So...we're good then?" asked Piper in a quiet voice. Blue eyes fearfully searching the face of the other woman.
Zelda, who held Piper's gaze for a second, did not say a word before giving a sharp nod of her chin. It wasn't the hundred percent reassuring answer that Piper was hoping for. But she took it as some hope. She liked Zelda and wanted to continue to see her, to date her, to fuck her. However, like any relationship she was in, she didn't want to be bullied into doing something she wasn't comfortable with.
She understood where Zelda was coming from. She really did. But it worked both ways. Zelda had to understand that Piper wasn't ready for being out and all that came with it. She wasn't sure when she would be ready, but she knew it wouldn't be on the close time frame that the other woman wanted.
This is so fucking stupid, thought Alex to herself as she stood a few feet away from the entrance of the party. She didn't know why she'd decided to come. She didn't know why she'd even put in the time to choose a costume. It was stupid really. All of it.
So Piper had hinted to her that she should come. She'd done that pouty thing with her bottom lip that could turn Alex to dust. How could Alex have said no to that face? That stupid, sexy...fucking sexy, pouty bottom lip? How could she say anything but yes to coming tonight? Right?
Well, Alex hadn't really agreed at first. She'd said maybe. Maybe she'd come to the party. But that was before she and Sylvie had gotten into a fight. Before Sylvie had informed Alex that she was going out with some of her new sobriety friends that night. Now, normally, the brunette wouldn't care if her girlfriend wanted to go hang out with her new friends. It was actually a good thing for Sylvie to get out of the fucking house and meet up with people other than Alex and learn how to have a good time without getting wasted. However, it wasn't the act of going out that irritated the brunette, it was the fact that Sylvie had chosen that particular night to do so.
It was kinda their anniversary of sorts. Even though their relationship was on and off over the last year, it was a year to the date that they first met. And Alex knows she isn't the best girlfriend and usually could care less about anniversaries and sappy things like that, but she was trying to make an effort. It wasn't like she and Sylvie had actual plans or anything. But Alex had thought that they would at least do something together. Maybe they couldn't go out and party, but Alex had thought that they would at least cuddle up on the couch and watch a scary movie or two together and binge on popcorn and Halloween candy. She'd even stopped off at the Blockbusters by their apartment and rented a couple of movies before coming home, only to find Sylvie getting ready for her night out...without her.
Now, here Alex was in some cheap, lame-ass Wonder Woman costume she'd worn two Halloweens ago. She felt stupid. Stupid, not because of the costume. She felt amazing in the costume despite the thin, cheap material it was made out of. She knew despite this that it hugged her body in all the right places. She felt stupid because she was going solo to a Halloween party that some cute blonde had hinted at being at tonight, some party she didn't even know if she would be able to get into. Alex suddenly felt very small as she continued to stand there freezing in the thin leotard and tights looking up at the building.
This is fucking stupid, she thinks again bitterly to herself before adjusting the gold headband on her head and making her way up the stairs to the party entrance.
Getting into the party without a ticket was easier than Alex thought it would be. It probably helped that her rack was nicely on display as she flashed her sexist smile at the pimply-faced guy managing the entrance.
Every inch of the building seemed to be pulsing and the loud bass of the music swarmed around her as she entered the main area of the party. The lighting in the room was low and smokey, making it hard for Alex to see no more than a few feet in front of her. She wondered how she was going to find Piper in this mass of drunken people.
She looked around the crowded room briefly before pushing her way through towards the back.
While she was searching for Piper, she figured she might as well have a drink or two. There was no Sylvie here to stop her. Not even the mere thought of her girlfriend was going to make her feel guilty about having a drink or seeking out a certain blonde.
Alex was here just visiting a friend.
Piper lay awake in bed.
She knew she should be getting to class but she didn't have the energy to bother with going today. She just wanted to stay in bed, buried deep underneath the pile of blankets and sulk.
She was also afraid to see Alex, again.
The blonde didn't know what to think or do about the kiss.
She'd enjoyed it. It had been welcomed. But now, she was dealing with the messy aftermath of it all. In short, Piper felt guilty. She shouldn't have gone and kissed someone other than Zelda at the party. Even if, at the time, they had been in a fight. Piper should have acted better and not gone off and kissed the hot girl that serves her coffee just because she was mad.
But it had happened and she couldn't take it back. Not that she wanted to, really. It had been a good kiss. A great kiss in fact. It had left Piper wanting more...oh so much fucking more.
But then that drunken guy had come and ruined it all. Leaving Piper suddenly aware of not only herself, but Alex too. She hadn't meant to run away as she had, but she'd been afraid of getting caught kissing someone other than the person she was supposed to be with. She'd been terrified that one of her roommates would see her, or that Zelda would suddenly appear.
So she'd left like the coward she was.
She'd thought about this and nothing else all weekend. Her life seemed to be much more complicated than it had been at the start of the school year. Not only was she dealing with coming to terms with being bi and trying not to feel shameful and repulsed by herself. But now, she was dealing with the complications of being with someone, but also being attracted to someone else at the same time. It didn't matter if it was two women. She knew she would be feeling this way even if it was two guys she was involved with. Gender wasn't relevant in this scenario at the moment.
After her moment of weakness and fleeing from Alex, Piper had found Zelda waiting for her outside the party.
Zelda had immediately apologized to the blonde for being a dick earlier and pressuring Piper to come out to her friends. The red-head had explained hastily as she took the blonde's hands that she'd been out for so long that she forgot what it was like at the very beginning. She didn't want to cause Piper any harm. She wanted Piper to come out when she was ready...on her own terms.
And just like that, everything was right in the world. Piper forced a smile on her face as she pushed the thoughts of Alex's lips against her own away and deep inside of her to look at later.
She allowed Zelda to pull her into a tight hug, her lips pressing ever so slightly into the curve of her neck.
It was hours into the party and Piper was drunk.
She was by herself in some unknown room away from the main area of the party. She had stumbled into the room, in search of the bathroom after the last shot of vodka she'd consumed didn't sit well in her stomach.
Piper had almost thrown up in the potted plant in the corner of the room but hadn't. Thank god!
The queasiness in her stomach had settled itself, finally accepting the vodka.
She stayed there, now seated at the desk. The room was small and appeared to be someone's office. The door should have been locked, but whoever's office this was had simply forgotten to do so. Probably forgetting there would be a rager of a party happening downstairs later on.
Piper knew she should be getting up and attempting to find Zelda. They had gotten into yet another fight an hour or so ago. It had happened on the dance floor. They had been dancing and having fun when Zelda attempted to kiss her. Piper had quickly moved away in fear of being watched.
That, like so many other little things that Piper kept on doing, had offended the redhead. They had fought again about Piper being shamed by Zelda for not wanting to kiss her.
After the blowout, Piper had sought out whatever alcohol she could get her hands on. She was feeling hurt and confused and guilty. She was tired of Zelda pushing her to be more open about their relationship. She wasn't ashamed of it as Zelda kept saying. It felt natural for her to kiss Zelda and to be with her. It was just that Piper was scared about doing those things in such a public place… where her friends were. Piper wasn't ready emotionally for all that. She wasn't sure how her friends would react to the news. She knew they watched tv shows with gay characters in them just fine without saying anything homophobic. But she knew that watching something on tv was very different than it is in your everyday life.
Piper chewed on the skin of her thumb when the door to the room suddenly opened filtering in the noise from downstairs.
Her head immediately snapped up and over to the door, thinking it was Zelda.
"Alex?!"
"Piper! Hey!" Alex was just as surprised to see Piper here in the room as she was of her. The brunette had been looking for the blonde for over an hour since arriving at the party. She'd just come in here to get some peace for a bit. Getting drunk on her own wasn't as fun as she thought it would be.
"What are you doing here?"
"You fucking invited me," replied Alex as she closed the door behind her and came further into the room.
"Oh! Right, yeah." Piper smiled at Alex as it became clear to her through her drunken fog that she'd indeed invited Alex to the party.
"Are you okay?" Alex's eyes narrowed in the dark as she took in the appearance of the other women.
"Yeah. Just needed some peace and quiet. You?"
"Yeah, and I was looking for you," admitted Alex with a smirk.
"You were?"
"Yeah! "
"Well...here I am. You found me." Piper pushed back the office chair and rose to her feet slowly.
Part 2 coming soon!
Thanks for reading and please leave a review!