Chapter Fifteen

She lay on the bed, steadying her breathing. Think. Think of something right now –

The water shut off. She forced herself up, sat on the end of the bed, wrapping her arms around her body as if she was cold. The good thing about the shocks was that her mind certainly felt a little clearer now.

You can't ask him how he found you. He'll take that as a bad thing.

As the bathroom door opened, she had one last fleeting thought before she looked into Sebastian's cold face: make him feel.

It was that look he gave her; the one that made her feel like the outcast, like he had something to share but she wasn't getting it. She still felt a dull kind of hurt when she initially saw it. She ducked her head.

He stayed where he was, leaning against the doorframe. "Now don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Make me feel like I'm the bad guy." When she didn't respond, he sighed. "Hailey, you can't even begin to imagine how hard this has all been for me."

Jesus, take me now, she thought, internally rolling her eyes. She kept silent, not looking at him.

"Don't do that," Shaw insisted, sounding frustrated and she heard his footsteps come closer. She shied away from him, ducking her head even further, and he stopped dead in his tracks. She heard him sigh again, although this time he sounded irritated rather than apologetic.

Except he'd never apologize.

"Hailey." He sounded stern. "Come on. Don't waste my time."

Her temper flared dangerously but she kept herself in check. Manipulative fuck, she thought. "Don't," she said quietly. "Please don't try to make me feel guilty."

"Oh, of course not. What have you got to feel guilty about?" Shaw shrugged innocently.

The injustice of it all made her want to scream; her family, and very likely her friends were dead now because of him, and it was meant to be her fault –

It is your fault why did you get involved with him and then why did you leave him when you knew he could hurt other people –

Her stomach was a knot, but her resolve didn't falter. This was what he did. He made her feel like she was ruining everything. He was used to winning, so she could play along.

Or she could throw him.

Shaw tutted, shaking his head. She could see the anger in his eyes slowly being dulled by affection, affection for God's sake, why does it have to be me? He even started to grin. "So tough, aren't you, princess?"

"Don't call me princess," Hailey snapped, clenching her fists in her lap.

To her surprise, a flash of hurt flickered across Shaw's face. Anger, she expected, but this…?

She bristled as he crouched in front of her, his hands resting gently on her knees. She waited for the pain to tear through her, but he simply looked at her.

"You used to like it when I called you princess," Shaw said dolefully and she tried not to flinch. She couldn't feel sorry for this monster, not after everything he had done.

He glanced up at her, apologetically, smiling tentatively. "You used to like a lot of things I did."

Hailey's breath caught in her throat. Her stomach, which had already been squirming guiltily, lurched in surprise and something else that wasn't as innocent. One of his hands was gently, teasingly, sliding up from her knee to her thigh. She swallowed, closing her eyes.

"Aren't you even a little happy to see me?" He sounded so pitiful, anxious mixed with just a dash of hopeful, and it was so unlike him that it almost broke her. She felt the urge to reach out and thread a hand in his hair, and clenched her fists tighter to stop herself.

It would be so easy. It would so goddamn easy to just let it go back to the way it was.

That's not what I want.

"Hailey." His voice was soft. She felt his hand on her own, so warm. "Honey, I'm sorry."

She squeezed her eyes shut even tighter, feeling a lump in her throat. He never apologised. Never. This was a trick. This was all some stupid trick and –

"Princess, look at me," Sebastian begged, but she just shook her head, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. "I'm sorry about everything, about your family, about whatever I did to make you leave, about – about hurting you." He sounded close to tears. "I never want to hurt you. You're everything to me."

She wrenched one of her hands from his, covered her mouth with it as she tried not to sob. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. This was something she would have dreamed of, so many months ago.

"And that's – that's why I get so –" He stopped. "Look, I'll do whatever you want, Hailey." His voice was so desperate. She couldn't bear it. "Anything. I'll be your fucking slave from now until forever if you let me. Please look at me. Please – tell me how to fix it."

She opened her eyes, saw his sad face looking up at her, pleading, begging, wanting –

But ultimately, she could see the satisfaction behind it all.

Because you did it, she thought, and the sudden flood of emotion she had felt mere moments before dried up. You made me feel guilty.

He wasn't sorry. He was proving her wrong, and he thought she was dumb enough not to know it.

She felt sick. How had she ever let him do this to her?

For a moment, she felt too calm. Serene, almost. Then a quick flicker of anger, so quick it was barely there. A simple thought, like tear, and her power groggily fought against the remnants of the drug.

A small cut, perhaps only an inch in diameter, appeared on Shaw's right cheekbone. He blinked, raised a searching hand to his face, fingertips coming away bloody. He stared at them as though hypnotized before finally his blank eyes turned to Hailey.

A heady mix of terror and triumph coursed through her whole being. It bottled itself up in her chest and escaped as uncontrollable giggles. Hailey clapped a hand to her mouth, unable to stifle them –

She didn't see the slap coming, so hard that she felt something in her neck and in her jaw break. She slammed against the bed, wanting to scream but her jaw hurt when she didand –

His hand was in her hair, his mouth was on her ear, and she struggled, tried to writhe away but he was pressing her broken jaw into the mattress, and it hurtit hurt it hurt it –

But she kept laughing, even though it felt like her insides were being carved out with rusty nails.

"If you ever do that again," he was saying, calmly, as though speaking to a particular tiresome child, "I will break you, do you understand? Every little part of you. And it will make everything I've done up until now seem like a fucking carnival ride. Got it?"

Her eyes were streaming as her jaw popped back into place and the laughter was gut wrenchingly painful – she almost couldn't breathe. She managed to suck enough air in to say, "You can break me, baby, but guess what? I'll bounce back. Will you?"

He let go of her then, standing above her. She had never been so in love with the sight of blood. If she could have married the cut on his cheek, she would have.

"Am I still your princess, Sebastian? Do you still love me?" Hailey cooed, forcing herself to sit up as she glared at him. She couldn't read the expression on his face. But God, if this was what control felt like, she fucking loved it.

Shaw was staring at her, breathing hard. She vaguely realised that she knew what was going through his head. He was loving this, no matter how nervous she was making him.

"Tell me you love me," she said. Something was different. Everything felt clearer now.

The drug…

"I love you," Shaw said, his voice breaking. He looked at her like she was nothing less than God. "Jesus, I love you. I would do anything for you."

And she knew that he did. In his own twisted, fucked up way, he loved her. But he didn't understand that she wasn't one of his possessions.

"You hurt me," Hailey said.

"I didn't mean to."

"You did," she said simply. "Because I hurt you and you wanted to hurt me back."

He looked almost hopeful then. You get it, his eyes seemed to say. I didn't want to hurt you Hailey but I had to because you started it.

"Say you're sorry," Hailey said. She felt as tense as a bow about to snap, and she could feel things in the room start to rattle before she heard them.

She could see him calmly taking in what was happening, his eyes flicking this way and that as he took in each trembling object: the drawers, the windows, the bed. He swallowed. "I'm sorry," he said steadily.

"Mean it," Hailey said, and one of the windows wrenched itself open.

Shaw turned, startled. He whirled back to her, and coolly got down on his knees. "Hailey, I'm sorry."

He was playing by her rules.

"For what?" she asked, her mouth dry.

Shaw frowned. He was done with the game now; he wanted the prize. He didn't understand it wasn't going to happen. Glass began to crack and the bedroom door began to slam violently, over and over –

"For what?" Hailey said coldly, standing up.

"Okay, princess," Shaw said, smiling complacently as though he could make everything all right, "what do you want me to –?"

"Think about it," Hailey said as something out in the hallway fell over and broke; she heard the glass shatter. The floor felt like it was shaking. Shaw furrowed his brow, and for one second, she saw his fear, his realisation that things were not going his way. Then it was gone, and he sighed, starting to stand up.

"Hailey, enough –"

She gritted her teeth and suddenly he was standing – only, he wasn't standing, he was hovering above the ground, frozen, eyes locked on her. He wasn't touching anything; there was no force against him. She could feel him struggling, but there was no point. She was in control.

"My family," she said. "Apologise."

"Enough, princess, you've made your point –"

Shaw let out a gasp of pain as the tear in his cheek ripped down to his chin.

"I'm sorry," he uttered.

"My friends," she said calmly as areas of his skin started to separate, between his knuckles, his ribs, his scalp. She tugged at his fingernails, grimly content as rivulets of blood started to trickle onto the floor. "Apologise."

"Hailey," Shaw managed, his face streaked with red, finally in pain, finally feeling one iota of the pain he had caused her. "Can we - talk about –?"

"Me," Hailey said. "Apologise."

"I love you," he croaked hopefully.

"Sebastian," Hailey said tiredly, staring at the pathetic excuse for a man in hanging in front of her, "I, and believe me when I say this, am so fucking over you."

She wondered what would happen if she held his heart still.

A moment later, she found out.

The pain on his face was terrible. But it was nothing compared to when she quite literally ripped his heart in two.

"You will never hurt anyone again," Hailey said quietly.

Shaw let out a soundless scream and she felt his struggling stop. For a moment, she was gripped by a maddening urge to cry. She dropped him and he fell to the floor like a rag doll, lifeless and useless. The furniture followed him.

He looked oddly disappointed in death. She smiled grimly. How fitting. It reminded her of when she had struggled to move three pencils at the same time.

Then she did cry.

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