Myra was frowning as she strode towards the Gromflomite base, her eyes dark as she watched all the blasters pointed at her, trailing her as she moved closer.
"HALT!" A Gromflomite at the entrance shouted loudly, gesturing towards her with his blaster, "You are approaching a Federation facility. Move no closer!"
Myra paused in her tracks, folding her arms across her chest, "My dudes…" She sighed wearily, shaking her head, "I must admit, although this whole thing wasn't entirely my idea; it does have some merit." She shrugged her shoulders slightly, starting to unbutton her blouse. She watched as they all glared at her in confusion, their weapons still poised in her direction. "Now, I understand you'll not see the beauty, of a naked humanoid body…" she continued, tugging her shirt over her head and starting to unbutton her trousers, "But you guys are quite happy running around with your dicks hanging out; so I thought… 'when in Rome', and all that." She shrugged her shoulders again, kicking her pants aside.
"Ok, t-they've seen the goods… stop showing off, Morty!" Rick snapped over her ear piece, sounding rather irritated, "Just do t-the thing."
Myra rolled her eyes, raising her hands high above her head and holding her pose, concentrating hard.
"HOLD IT!" the Gromflomite before her shouted, "Don't you move anymore appendages!"
Myra opened her eyes, her body shimmering with an iridescent light, growing brighter and brighter.
She let out a scream, directing the energy blast towards the front gates. It exploded in a blinding flash of purple, the front guard towers either side of the gate were sucked inside a vortex, which opened and closed swiftly, sounding an awful lot like a burst of flatulence. All of the Gromflomites who had been guarding nearby were dead; either from the blast or sucked into the vortex.
Myra was suddenly clothed again, walking through the decimated front gate as an alarm began to blare over the facility.
Rick was already in there, weapons slung over his shoulders. He shook his head over her, "You just love slapping your big, old dick on the table, don't y-you, Morty." He shook his head.
"You guys were already inside?" Myra snapped at him, glaring at him and the other two.
Bird Person frowned, "Rick said he wanted to see a show; so we did not want to interrupt you."
"I wasn't going to argue with some free Squanch." Squanchy snickered, "Nice Squanches you have, by the way."
Myra punched Rick in the shoulder and there was a sickening crunching sound.
"FUCK!" He snapped, his arm going limp, "You broke my fucking arm, Morty!"
Myra frowned, glaring at him, "You said I needed to help you guys get in, you son of a bitch!"
Rick had grabbed a little device out of his pocket and was rubbing it over his arm, "Fuck you; you were the one who suggested it in the first place!" He growled, moving and rotating his suddenly healed arm, "I wasn't going to tell you how useless you really are… I wanted to make you feel like you were contributing!"
There was a sudden plasma blast, which hit her in the back. Everyone suddenly hid behind her and she rolled her eyes.
"Meat shield time." Rick smirked, motioning to Squanchy and Bird person, who nodded in response. They all picked up Myra, moving her into a horizontal position to use her to block the plasma blasts. She went rigid to make it easier to hold her, though it did not make her feel any better doing so.
"Fuck you guys and the horses you rode in on." She frowned as they edged forward, moving her to block the shots appropriately. The Gromflomites were all shouting as they failed to make a hit, panicking as the foursome neared them.
They suddenly hurled Myra into the air towards the Gromflomites, who were crouching behind a series of crates. Myra's arms suddenly morphed into multi-barrelled blasters, which shot rapidly, blasting the heads off dozens of Gromflomites.
She started hurtling towards the ground, aiming at more.
"Whoo, Morty; do a flip!" Rick shouted, as they all started shooting any Gromflomites who emerged from their hiding places.
Myra snorted, landing with a sly back-flip before a rather burly-looking Gromflomite and blasting his head off. She was splattered with blue blood, it felt sickly, cold and gooey as it covered her.
She glanced over her shoulder as she heard a sudden roar from the entrance. It was the rest of the resistance, rushing towards the facility.
"Oh fuck yeah, l-looks like we have a real fight, now!" Rick smirked.
Bird Person suddenly Scooped Myra and Rick up, lifting them high into the air, "We must get you two into the building!" He shouted over the sudden commotion below them. They went higher and higher, blasts zoomed past them as the guards on the higher balconies took aim.
Bird Person tossed them onto one of the balconies, suddenly whirling around with his own blaster in a vortex of plasma blasts. His shots landed accurately, he continued to swoop and take aim, covering Rick and Myra from the on-coming attackers.
Myra dusted herself off, climbing to her feet, plasma blasts started to hit her in the head. She glanced down at Rick, who was taking cover around a corner.
"Uh, Morty…" Rick sounded annoyed, "M-maybe you should… I don't know… Make y-yourself useful?" He gestured to the sudden group of Gromflomites who were shooting at them.
Myra was frowning, "Oh, but I'm nothing more than a meat shield she frowned at him, her arm suddenly morphing into a plasma blaster. She shot a large ball towards the group of insects, without breaking eye-contact with Rick, the blast caused a large explosion.
"Stop sulking… let's get vagina… I-I mean Fanny out of here before Pers loses his slam piece." Rick climbed to his feet. They rushed forward, heading for the conveniently-placed elevator platform in the middle of the room. They stepped onto the circle, Rick briefly typing something in the keypad beside them. They started to descend, watching as the levels zoomed past them.
"You know how much she means to him." Myra frowned, feeling surly.
"I know." Rick frowned back, loading his guns with several more cannisters, "T-the real question is do you know?" He sounded irritated, "Miss 'there's no such thing as LOVE'." He snorted then, clicking the cannister into place.
The elevator came to a halt, and they were suddenly surrounded. Hundreds of Gromflomites were surrounding them in the room.
"Appendages in the air!" One of the Gromflomites shouted loudly.
Rick and Myra rolled their eyes, obliging them.
Rick was suddenly annoyed, "What the fuck are you doing?"
"I'm doing a thing." She shrugged her shoulders.
"What thing… t-there are many things you could be doing!?" Rick frowned, "One of which involves making sure none of these guys can y'know… kill me!"
Myra shrugged slightly, "The ape-man is correct." She said, stepping forward; all blasters were suddenly pointed at her, "He is rather useless… despite him thinking otherwise." She said, lowering her arms, "It is really me you should worry about." She said, suddenly rushing forward to grab the nearest Gromflomite. They started shooting her, to little avail. Her indestructible epidermis was the best thing, by far, Rick had ever accidentally created.
She walked through the room, literally grabbing the insects and ripping them in half, before she grew tired of that and let her hand blaster explode through them. The room was suddenly silent.
Rick was still standing on the platform, a frown curved his mouth, "A little redundant, but I guess t-they deserved it."
"Can you just admit you'd be screwed without me?" Myra asked, cocking her brow at him, "Just once?"
"Now's not t-the time for jerking you off, Morty." Rick frowned, walking over to the control panel near the door, "Maybe later."
Myra frowned, watching as he started to hack into the terminal.
"Just once…" She muttered sourly, "I promise I won't tell anyone." She folded her arms across her chest and leant against the wall.
Rick ignored her, concentrating on the sequence before him on the screen.
Myra got annoyed and punched the door, the metal crumpled like tin foil. She ripped the hole wider, until there was enough space for them to walk through.
"You have your advantages…" Rick muttered as she glared at him. Myra's lip curved in irritation and Rick let out a weary sigh, "Y-you know I wouldn't be able to do… a sixth of this shit without you." He frowned, "now get the fuck over y-yourself and let's rescue these guys."
Myra honestly knew it wasn't the time nor the place to hash out such petty issues, though she was feeling extra irritated. She squared her shoulders and walked through the hole, glaring into the darkness of the room. There were at least a hundred people huddled in the back corner, cowering. The lights were flickering eerily as Myra strode forward.
"Fanny?" Myra called, her eyes resting on Pers' female.
Fanny seemed to perk up, "It is ok, people.. this is Myra." She said, stepping forward to touch foreheads with Myra in an affectionate greeting, "This is my Mate's close friend…. And … Rick." She said, somewhat dismissively.
Rick frowned, "Oh… so much appreciation." Rick rolled his eyes.
"Feels great, doesn't it?" Myra shot back with a smirk.
"We must hurry." Fanny said, motioning for the other prisoners to step through the hole in the door, "There are thousands of guards who will be heading this way.
Myra nodded, "There are dead Gromflomites everywhere; everyone should grab a blaster and be prepared to put up a fight as we get you out of here."
Fanny nodded, and they all hurried through.
They did have to put up a fight on the way back out of the building. Myra and Rick proudly stood on the front line, ensuring all of the prisoner's safety until they left the building. When they walked outside, however, the scenery suddenly took a dark and gruesome turn.
There were ships hovering in the sky above them, clearly they had called in extra reinforcements. There were corpses, both Gromflomite and defiance members alike, littering the ground.
Myra and Rick shouted to the prisoners, trying to get them all to take cover; but it was too late. The ships had already locked onto their targets.
Everything seemed to happen in slow motion; Myra watched as the blasts blew into the prisoners, her eyes darted to Rick and Fanny, who were both still exposed beside her.
She leapt into action, pressing her body over them, against the ground. Blood was pooling beneath them, Myra clenched her teeth, trying to cover them both as much as possible.
"Fuck!" Rick hissed as a blast hit him in the side.
The blasts ceased and Myra swiftly threw Rick and Fanny under the cover of a large, metal crate. Her eyes peered around, hearing silence but feeling many eyes upon her.
She could see nothing but blood and decimation around her. Squanchy lay unconscious, in his beast form, blood seeping from a nasty wound in his abdomen. She could see many bird-folk, but not Pers.
She glared as a federation fighter ship hovered over her, "Surrender now, or be prepared to die!"
Myra frowned, "guess I'll die then."
There was a sudden whirling as Bird Person appeared, twisting and shooting as he flew past. He managed to down a few dozen Gromflomites as Myra leapt into action, jumping on top of several containers to take another massive leap onto the ship.
Bird Person flew by, aiding her with a swift shove. Myra made contact with the ship- slicing through it like a hot knife through butter. When she emerged there were many more plasma blasts trying to hone in on her and Bird Person, who was letting out a series of loud screeches of annoyance as he shot down the enemy.
Rick soon tumbled out from behind the cover, a shimmering plasma shield projected in front of him. His injured side was bleeding profusely, but he simply seemed to be grinning through it. Myra was falling, her eyes already tracing the sky for Bird Person, who gave her a boosting toss in the direction of another ship, which was frantically firing at them.
It took another hour of fucking around, but at last there was silence.
Myra had been injured, in the end, after the enemy discovered that she was quite vulnerable to electromagnetic energies, and had changed several of their weapons particle outputs accordingly. Although most survivors were sporting bruises, cuts and plasma burns, Myra was simply filthy and limping; her muscles overstimulated from the electric energies that had disabled her.
"L-look at you, Ex Machina." Rick snorted at her, gripping his injured side as he sat, slumped against some debris.
"What?" Myra frowned at him in confusion.
"Give it thirty something years… t-the joke will eventually land." He winced, snatching his broken healing device from his pocket with a scowl.
Myra limped around, watching the handful of survivors pulling bodies and injured people out from the rubble and Gromflomite corpses. Squanchy was snarling as one of the defiance leaders started to set to work on his abdominal injury.
Bird Person was still circling in the sky, letting out caws to try and locate Fanny. Myra watched him for a moment, before she stumbled over something. She glanced down, her heart suddenly in her throat.
She moved the larger pieces of rubble from the body, dusting off the pretty, lifeless face, feeling an array of emotions.
"Fanny!" Bird Person suddenly saw her and swooped down, landing beside Myra with a thud. "Fanny!?" He seemed even more distraught as he began to cradle her pale, lifeless body. She was riddled with plasma blasts; her body already cold.
"Pers…" Myra placed a hand on his shoulder as he stared down at his Mate's lifeless features, slumping with misery.
"We are too late…" His lip was trembling with emotion as he held her.
Rick was suddenly beside them, his expression solemn as he placed his hand on Bird Person's other shoulder. There were no words that could have made the situation better; they simply held each other, Myra and Rick wrapping Bird person and Fanny in a sombre embrace as the sun began to sink below the horizon.
It was later in the evening and everyone was tenser than usual. Emotions were running high, and Myra found herself watching a rather heated argument unfolding.
"Clone her!" Bird Person shouted, jabbing his finger in Rick's direction, "We all know you are capable!"
Rick was frowning, "Pers, there's so many reasons why I should clone her, but I'd have to return to earth and…"
"CLONE HER!" Bird person screeched loudly; Myra felt her ears ringing.
"Sanchez…" Myra frowned, "isn't there a way we can do it here?"
Rick whirled around, glaring at her, "Morty, need I-I remind you that both of o-our fucking portal guns were obliterated?" He snapped, gesturing to the two shattered devices on the bench before them, "I-I may be fucking god but I still need a little bit of time t-to get shit sorted!"
"What if we put a sample in some kind of Cryo-device?" Myra suggested in a gentle tone.
"T-there is nothing on this moon that will fucking even begin to act as a cryo-pod !" Rick shouted even louder and Bird Person suddenly seized him by the shirt, lifting him off the ground. His eyes were dark.
"She is just trying to help." He said in a stern tone to Rick, "At least she has not given up."
Rick shoved Bird Person away from him, "W-what the fuck do you think I am doing?" He snapped back, "I am simply stating the facts. I-it's impossible, without a fucking working portal gun w-w-we're going to be stranded here for…" he paused, throwing his hands up in the air in frustration, "A long-ass fucking time!" He suddenly strode over to the table and slammed his fists in fury, "FUCK!"
They all went silent, their shoulders slumping in defeat.
"We should be able to salvage a sufficient amount of materials from several of the space ships and facility." Myra frowned, "It will still take too much time to get a viable sample back to earth…" Her brow scrunched together as she mentally calculated, "Even if we could gather absolutely everything we need to make an entirely new portal gun… the fluid alone takes two weeks to finalise."
"Is there any planet nearby that we could…" Bird Person started.
"No." Rick snapped, cutting him off.
"I did not finish." Bird Person frowned.
"I-It doesn't matter. Your idea was stupid and pointless." Rick snapped back he ran his hands through his hair in agitation, leaning back on the table with a frustrated groan, "Pers, I am just being a realist w-when I say this, but I honestly don't think t-there will be a way that we can clone her… not the way that she was… the DNA will already be far too decomposed for me to…" He trailed off, looking at how Bird Person was glaring at him, "Oh and YOU have a better suggestion?" he asked, throwing his hands in the air.
"There may be a way I could make some kind of Cryo chamber… out of the influx plasma coils on a Federation ship." Myra cut in, "coupled with the correct power sources, we may be able to preserve her remains long enough for Rick to fix a portal gun and get back to Earth."
"It's an extremely long shot." Rick said in a terse tone.
Myra nodded her head wearily, patting Bird Person on the shoulder as he continued to glare at Rick, "C'mon, Pers… it will be faster if you fly us there…"
They left without another word and Bird Person flew her to the ruined facility, in virtually no time at all.
"I do not understand what you see in him." He scowled suddenly, as they walked towards a ruined Federation ship.
"Sanchez isn't a bad guy, BP." Myra frowned, peeling open the ship's door like a sardine can, "He thinks he's going to spare you the heartbreak from the hope, or some such. In his mind, it all seems pointless because he doesn't view the world with 'hope', only the facts he can see." She shrugged her shoulders, rummaging through some wiring in the side of the ship.
Bird Person was silent for a moment, "Sometimes I swear that he wants to fight me." He shook his head, "I often find myself wondering why he would want to fight a friend."
Myra shrugged her shoulders, "He lives with 'little man' syndrome, despite not being short." She said matter-of-factly, "Always wants to be right and be the best."
"He doesn't have to be such an arrogant… dick." He snapped.
Myra chuckled, "How often are you the one pointing out his flaws and good traits to me?" She pulled a device from the ship, and snatched up a few coils as well, "I don't want to seem insensitive, but usually you are the one who is quick to defend him."
Bird Person's mouth formed a thin line as he considered her words, "You are right." He frowned, his shoulders and wings slumping, "I am simply distraught…Fanny…" He choked, his throat suddenly seizing with emotion, "Fanny means so much to me. I know you aren't one to believe in love but… I love her."
Myra placed her hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle pat, "I can see that." She nodded, "I promise we will do everything we can to get her back…"
Bird Person nodded and lifted her up and they headed back towards the defiance camp.
When they arrived back, Squanchy was in a deep sleep, curled up in front of a fire. Rick was nowhere to be seen; Myra began to walk through their area, before she heard a muffled, hushed voice.
"I-I'm sorry, Dee.." Rick was whispering, "I promise i-I'll be back before you know it…" He sounded uncharacteristically melancholic.
Myra couldn't make out what Diane was saying over the space-phone, but she could tell she wasn't too happy. She sounded snippy, afraid… hurt.
There was a pause and Myra made out what she thought was an extensive sigh over the phone, before Diane muttered something.
"You're what?" Rick asked, sounding suddenly confused, "You're pregnant?!" He hissed, "Holy shit…how? I-is it mine?"
There was a sudden string of annoyed grumbles over the phone and Rick frowned, "I-I never know… never hurts to double-check these kinds o-of things…" He sighed, pausing briefly. "Holy shit… what are you going to do?"
Myra gently tip-toed away, deciding to leave Rick alone, despite desperately wanting to eavesdrop more.
"Fuck…" She found herself muttering as she walked back to the workbench area, 'Rick is going to be a father…' She thought, feeling confused by the prospect.
On one hand, Rick would make a terrible father… on the other hand….He would be a completely disastrous father. She found herself shaking her head as she set to work on making a Cryo pod. She started taking the plasma coils apart, her mind elsewhere.
Rick emerged sometime later, clearing his throat as he set to work beside her; each in tangent harmony with each other, mostly out of habit.
"How much did y-you hear?" Rick asked in a low tone.
"Hmm?" Myra asked, acting dumb.
"Morty…" Rick sounded exhausted.
Myra continued to work, "I heard enough to know that congratulations may be in order?"
"That might be a stretch… but yeah…" Rick frowned, suddenly throwing a tool at the wall in frustration. "I just don't understand how, Morty!" He snapped, seemingly choking up with emotion and anger, "I-I never wanted to be a father… of Diane's kid!"
"Have you been drinking?" Myra asked, dumbfounded.
"Believe it or not, I-I am fucking sober as hell… man I could r-really use a-a fucking drink right now, though!" He kicked a pile of random scrap and it crashed loudly. "I double-bagged it and everything!" He snapped.
"Are you a complete fucking moron?" Myra snapped, "You don't need to be a fucking genius to understand that that causes more friction and is more likely to cause rips or tears in fucking condoms!"
Rick snapped, "I'm not an idiot, Morty!" He frowned, "It was just my stupid way of explaining that I was extra cautious with the Sanchez sauce…" He looked in pain, as he slid down the wall, slumping in a miserable heap. "Ever since you and I had that little scare…" he looked up at her, and looked away swiftly, "I-i'm extra careful now… is all I am saying."
"If we didn't have so much unprotected sex, we wouldn't have had any reason to be scared." Myra stated, slumping down beside him, "If you guys were doing the right thing, with condoms and the pill etcetera…"
"We were!" Rick snapped, "That I know of, at least." He was frowning suddenly, "Holy shit… w-what if she wasn't taking the pill, Morty?!" He ran his hands though his hair in horror, "She's a-a pshyco bitch, Morty, I wouldn't put It past her to get pregnant on purpose!"
Myra snorted, and gave him a nudge, "I think you're overreacting, just a smidge…" She said, climbing to her feet and offering him her hand.
Rick took her hand and she pulled him to his feet, "Holy shit…" he frowned, "I'm going to be a father!" He said, completely beside himself. He looked panicked as he attempted to distract himself with work.
Myra shook her head, "Why don't you go take a walk, while I finish this up?" She said, cocking her brow at him.
"No." Rick frowned, "For once, I-I think I might need the company." His brow crumpled in emotion, "At least… give me a few to snap out of it and w-we'll get this shit finished."
Myra nodded her head in response, briefly watching him as they set to work on finalising the cryo-pod.