Chapter 8

*A/N: WARNING Mature and SENSITIVE themes in this chapter.* If you are uncomfortable with the mention of suicide I would recommend just reading Draco's point of view and skipping Hermione's point of view and I will write a brief summary at the start of the next chapter :).

Draco's point of view

I met Hermione the next morning in the library where her nose was already buried in a book. I sat down next to her in my usual spot and pulled a book off the shelf, opening it to the page that I had earmarked the last time I had been in there.

She looked at me knowingly but I ignored the look and turned my attention back to the page on arithmancy. I felt her curious gaze on me but I proceeded to ignore her. I didn't particularly want to know what that look meant. Yet it seemed she was going to bring it up regardless.

She was hesitant at first but as she spoke she seemed to get more and more confident. "Draco... I... I think I know what's going on between you and... Harry." I froze in shock not expecting that at all!

"Me and Potter? There's nothing going on," I put the book down on the oak table and turned to look at her. "Hermione I don't know what..." She held up a finger, face stern.

"Don't lie to me Draco. I notice things and I'm very good at remembering things too." I didn't doubt that. I was still unsure as to where she was coming from.

"I'm not." I tried to explain. Again I received that no nonsense look.

"Really, I know you like Harry and something happened between you and him- you were both really awkward yesterday." She paused and looked at me intently, "something must have happened Draco," she said condescendingly.

"Wow Hermione," I wasn't quite sure what to think. "You're right in one respect." I sucked in a steadying breath, this would be the first time I had allowed myself to say it aloud. "I like Potter, even though I'm trying to get over that, but nothing happened between me and Potter- nothing that would push us over the bounds of friendship." I assured her.

She smiled smugly but her brows were still furrowed, "You're trying to get over it? Why?" She asked me, her head tilted with confusion.

"Potter doesn't feel the same and I don't want to pine over him." I answered. She nodded knowingly as if she too had shared the logic that I was basing my justifications on.

"I'm sorry Draco." I tilted my head in acknowledgement. Then I noticed the look of pure mischief that made its way onto her face.

"What are you thinking Granger, and don't think about lying to me."

"Well Draco," she paused leaning on the table to bring herself closer to me, she lowered her voice carrying on," I may know a certain someone who perhaps may like you." My jaw dropped- that was definitely the last thing that I had been expecting. "Put your book back- I have a plan to put a smile back onto your face!" She grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the library to the quidditch pitch where a lone Slytherin was flying in circles.

"Him?" I asked pointing upwards.

"Yup, go talk to him," she said giving me a small push, "I want you to be happy Draco and to do that I see that you need to focus on something...new." She smiled and again I felt that knee-strengthening relief that maybe I wouldn't be stuck pining after Potter for the rest of my miserable existence.

"Okay." I took a deep breath looked once more at Hermione's reassuring face and stepped onto the pitch looking at the silhouette racing around above me.

Hermione's point of view

I left Draco and decided to go and pay a visit to Harry in the hospital wing. I felt awful for Draco not being able to be with Harry but I had done the best thing- I often wished that I could find someone new, someone that would notice me the way that Ron wouldn't.

The corridors were empty, most people having gone home for the Christmas holidays, which meant it was a fairly quick walk through the airy halls. Harry was where we had left him, and so was Ginny. They were both asleep so there was really no point staying. I decided to make my way back to the common room when I heard a crash come from a nearby storage cupboard- Peeves had probably trapped someone in there again.

Using my wandless magic, as it was always good practice, I opened the door and my heart sank when I took in the shirtless girl that was curled up in Ron's lap trying to hide her naked flesh into his similarly bare chest.

I closed it with a slam feeling all my self-hatred welling up inside me. How could I like a jerk who took a girl for a quickie in a supply cupboard? Then the small voice in my head spoke such sinister words making my mind crumble into a puddle of despair:

Why are you not enough Hermione? Maybe it's your flat chest, or your spotty skin? You're definitely not as pretty as her, not even close. What makes you think that you have a chance with him, you stupid naïve silly girl.

Round and round the harsh spoke and I couldn't concentrate on where I was going, tears streamed down my face and all I could see was her- that faceless nameless girl that was with him. He had never cared about me and the hope that I had carried in my heart for so long was now a dead weight in my chest, dragging me down into a pit of despair. I was nothing to him. Nothing and I was foolish to not realise it sooner.

My lungs hyperventilated trying to suck in more air as I spiraled, I would never be enough for anyone would I? I couldn't...breathe. It was too much- how many girls had I seen him with, how many times had I told myself that he would notice me soon. All of that wishful thinking of a stupid naïve silly girl.

Pain. So much pain as my heart cracked a little more each time I stepped away from the life-wrecking scene. But whose life was it really wrecking- mine? And my life didn't seem to matter to him did it. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Climb that's it, climb. You need air, take in that view. Climb over that you need to be higher girl. Higher.

I didn't take in the view, how could I when every time I closed my eyes I saw his face, the annoyance that had flashed when he had seen me. He had been annoyed at me!

That's it, now fly.

Fly? I couldn't fly but the wind buffeted my body as it would in fact catch my body and let me fly away from the mess. With one gush of wind I felt my body give up and I knew without a doubt that I would fly...

"STOP!" Strong arms wrenched my body back into the tower so hard that the backs of knees rattled against the railings that I couldn't remember climbing over. I landed on the floor of the astronomy tower in a jumble of lines. Shock woke me from my trance and I realised where I was and what I had been about to do- the voice had subsided and all I was left with was the sinking feeling that I didn't want to die.

"Hey are you alright?" Warm hands rested on my shoulders and pulled my weak form off the floor into their embrace, smoothing my hair as the last of my tears ran down my face. I nodded into him grateful that he had been there to save me. He placed his fingers on my chin and forced me to look at him- "Don't ever do that again, you scared me."

I noticed with a faint shock that the person that had saved me was Cormac McLaggen. Gone was the pretentious ass that I knew and despised, instead there was a strong man who had just saved me from plummeting to an irrational end.

"Not planning on it." I tried to remove myself from his hold but my legs were still shaking so I fell right back into his arms.

"Steady there." He held me up, his hands courteous and polite as he helped me over to the bench in the corner of the tower. Grateful, I latched on to him and didn't let go of him even after we'd sat down. He was the only thing that was holding back the voice.

"Thank you." I said to fill the silence but also because I owed him my life.

"Why were you up there? If you don't mind me asking." His voice was soothing and I knew that I could trust him, as I was definitely witnessing the truth of who he really was deep under all that muscle and bravado.

"I saw Ron with a girl and I... wasn't paying attention and the voice..." Fresh tears coated my cheeks but they were gently wiped away by Cormac's thumb. "Sorry..."

"Don't be. Hermione I... you are beautiful and you are way to good for him." I scoffed, " no look at me," I did looking into his comforting hazel eyes, " I mean it. You are worth so much more than you could ever realise." I blushed, glancing at my hands that were twisting chaotically in my lap. His hand tilted up my chin again.

"Let's get you some food, how about the kitchens. You can sit next to the fire, you're looking a bit cold." I nodded suddenly noticing the cold that was seeping into my bones. We got up and I shied away from the opening of the tower- I really didn't want to die. Cormac seemed to notice his as his arms tightened around me pulling me back down to safety.

XXXXXX

Cormac sat with me down by the fire in the kitchens and made sure that I had enough food and enough to drink. Eventually my shaking subsided and I regained my strength back bit by bit. When I was finished he stood up and held out his hand sensing that I still needed the physical comforting touch of another human being.

"Where are we going now?" I asked, putting my small hand in his.

"To get you some help." He never let go of me and for that I was extremely grateful as we went to see Madam Pomfrey. I saw that Harry was gone and was glad of that, I was also glad that we didn't bump into Ron on the way up from the kitchens.

Cormac sat with me, a steady presence, as I nervously recounted what happened. Madam Pomfrey listened her face warmer than I had ever seen it before and I felt this new seed of hope start to heal the damage. I had no doubt that they would both look after me and make sure that the voice never overpowered me again.

"We're both here for you Hermione, but I do recommend that we get you some form of therapy- I will speak with Professor McGonagall and we will all look out for you and teach you how to deal with your feelings when the voice does come back."

"I'm definitely here for you," Cormac whispered smiling at me.

"Thank you so much I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't off been there." I nestled into his chest feeling his steady heartbeat under my ear.

"I would save you any day." It was warm in my arms and I even let him walk me back to the common room right up to my dorm room door. "If you need anything I will be right here for you Hermione I promise." I let him pull me into his side, liking the way my head hovered over his heart.

"Would you like to do something tomorrow?" I asked knowing that what had happened today had forged a link between us.

"I would love to."

I settled into bed that night not with the heaviness of a broken heart but with the promise that tomorrow would be better. It also helped that I knew Cormac would be there for me throughout my path to recovery, to making better choices.

A/N: Please let me know what you think about this chapter, feedback would be really useful x.