Pranking Pranksters

Summary - Remus won't leave the common room, and the boys need to arrange his surprise birthday party. Lily takes matters into her own hands.

"Think he suspects anything yet?"

"What do you take us for, Evans? Amateurs?" Sirius whispers in affront, rolling his eyes at her, "We've been doing this for years."

"I'm very well aware. I'm just saying Remus is smarter than the rest of us put together."

"That might've been true if you hadn't counted yourself in with us," James pokes her teasingly with the tip of his wand, and she lets out a surprised squeak.

Immediately, Remus's curious blue eyes tear away from the book he's reading to look around for the source of the noise.

Cursing softly under their breath, the four sixth-year Gryffindors flatten themselves against the stairwell leading to the boys' dormitories, hiding from view.

"Did you have to poke her right now, Prongs?" Peter whispers accusingly.

"Sorry," James runs a hand through his hair, wincing under the weight of the three glares directed at him.

Lily huffs a breath, trying to look exasperated, but unable to properly wipe the smile that tugs on the corner of her lips. She quickly turns away from them with the pretense of checking on Remus again lest they catch her amused expression. "He's gone back to reading."

"This is so boring!" Sirius whines, "my legs are falling asleep."

"It was your idea to begin with."

"Yes, but I didn't expect him to be reading his book for a thousand bloody years!"

"That is literally what he does!" James scoffs, "how did you not expect it?"

"Maybe I should set the chair on fire. Incen—"

"No, stop! Put your fucking wand down!" Lily hisses, eyes wide with alarm as she slaps Sirius's hand away. "Why is arson always your first answer?"

"Because it's so effective!"

"I don't think Remus will be well pleased if we endangered his life, Sirius," says Peter.

"Collateral damage."

"It isn't collateral damage if you kill the person whom you're trying to make happy, you prat," James says, smacking him gently.

As Sirius goes on a tirade about how he isn't trying to kill but only scare and that Remus is way too smart to be maimed by something as small as a burning chair and does James even know him at all?, Lily rolls her eyes, pushing off from the wall.

"I'll go distract him, you get the job done."

"What? Lily, wait—"

But she's already descended the stairs, ignoring James's panicked voice behind her, and makes her way to where her fellow prefect sits by the fireplace, nose still buried in his book.

"Hello, Remus."

"Lily," He looks up, smiling pleasantly, "I thought you'd be outside with the girls on this fine day."

"I just had to finish the transfiguration assignment that's due tomorrow."

"In the boys' dormitories?" A rare smirk flits across his lips; eyes sharp as they challenge her.

"Went to return the book on Advanced Transfiguration that I'd borrowed from James," She counters, not missing a beat. "You know how rubbish I am at the subject."

"Hardly," Remus laughs, closing his book with a snap and giving her his undivided attention. "Maybe not as brilliant as you are in other classes, but not rubbish by any means."

"You flatter me. We both know James is trouncing me in Transfiguration."

"Only because McGonagall favors him."

"Remus Lupin, you take that back! McGonagall loves me."

"Oh, alright, I'll accept that James is better," He chuckles again, shaking his head, "didn't think I'd ever see the day when you, of all people, would be trying to get me to admit it."

"Weirder things have happened," Lily shrugs, unable to keep the blush from stealing across her face at the knowledge that the subject of their conversation is very possibly—most definitely—listening in on every word being spoken. "Hey, would you be interested in taking a walk around the lake?"

"I was just about to ask you the same thing," He says easily, getting up from the chair. "Maybe we could stop by the kitchens to see if the house-elves have any chocolate pudding left over from lunch."

"Sounds like a plan."

The pair of them make their way away from the couches and towards the portrait hole, chatting amicably all the while. Just before Lily steps outside, she turns around to give a swift 'all-clear' gesture, knowing that the boys hidden in the stairwell have their eyes trained on them.

"Well, that was rather easy," she says, turning back to Remus with a smirk once the portrait shuts behind her.

"Tell me about it," He laughs, "you'd think they'd try to be at least slightly more subtle with their plan. James, Sirius, and Peter, all wanting to stay in and study on a free evening after I invite them to the kitchens? On my birthday? I'm almost ashamed."

"Well, to be fair, it is you. Rather difficult to plan a surprise party when you know them so well."

"Which is why they solicited your help, no doubt."

"And yet, you got to me first," Lily grumbles, looking almost put off, "I feel rather guilty about tricking them. They're only trying to make your birthday more fun, you know."

"Now, now, Lily, remember that you were my mate first," Remus grins happily, draping an arm across her shoulder as they make their way down the third flight of stairs, "besides, I'm rather terrible at pretending I don't know what they're up to. Didn't want to ruin their plan by being obnoxiously aware."

"You're not terrible at anything, and you know it," She laughs, "In fact, I'm certain now more than ever that you're the worst of the lot."

"I'm hurt," he says, but goes and ruins the sentiment by laughing along with her, "those are baseless assumptions meant to tarnish the name of a good man."

"There you have it; you with your big words and innocent eyes. No one ever suspects you!"

"Says you! Remind me again who's the double agent amongst the two of us?"

"Touché," she sighs, "just remember to tell the boys that I was under your Imperius Curse if the truth ever comes out."

"You have a Marauder's word."