**BPOV**

"So why did Jake need to leave in such a hurry? It was barely even halftime," Charlie grumbled.

"I-I told him about being engaged to Edward. He actually took it better than I thought," I didn't meet his eyes, not wanting to see the disappointment there. I knew which side Charlie was rooting for.

"Ah. Right, that," Charlie cleared his throat. "You know it's not too late to change your mind. If you're feeling pressured-" Charlie began.

"My feet are toasty warm, Dad. I'll never change my mind about Edward," I reassured him.

"I guess I still just don't understand the rush. You're not pregnant," he glanced down at my midsection, "and marriage is such a big step. I mean..why not just live with the guy? I hate to say it. I feel like a bad dad saying it, but I'd rather you did that than find yourself divorced, or worse, a single mom before you've even turned 20. Just think about what you're doing, Bella."

I blinked at him, absorbing what he was saying.

"You were a young single father, Dad. Was it so horrible of a mistake?" I challenged him with a steely glare. He recoiled as if I struck him.

"You know that's not what I meant, Bella. You're the best thing that ever happened to me if you need me to say it out loud. You're a smart girl with your whole life ahead of you! Just...think about what you're doing," he reiterated, his eyes were heavy with concern.

I turned on my heel and stomped up the stairs. I took my phone out of my pocket to dial Edward, but he was already in my room when I slammed the door shut behind me.

I startled at the sight of him sitting on my bed, a mournful expression on his face.

"He meant that, you know. He's never once thought of you as anything other than a gift. He hates himself for putting that idea in your head," Edward murmured, regret etched in his eyes and the set of his mouth.

"Yeah well, he should remember who's side he's supposed to be on," I muttered.

"You expect him to take the side of the monster that abandoned you in the woods?" Edward asked gently, his sad eyes touched by incredulity.

"I expect him to take my side. To respect my choice." I pointed at my chest, poking myself in the sternum so hard I was sure it would leave a bruise.

"And besides," I railed, "someday Jacob could imprint on someone else, and then he'd just abandon me, too," I fumed. "How would I explain my shape-shifting kids to him?!" I tantrumed, throwing my hands up in the air. I knew my father couldn't possibly understand any of this, but I had to be mad at someone.

Edward looked like I could have knocked him over with a feather.

** EPOV **

Shape-shifting kids? I mouthed as my Bella- in all her glorious fury- painted a bleak picture of how she imagined herself fitting into the werewolves' world.

To her credit, and my horror, she had imagined a future with Jacob Black even more thoroughly than I had. But the corners of my mouth turned up a little as I considered that at some point Bella had imagined a future with Jacob, a future with children, but still she chose me.

Her choice, I'd always assumed, was made out of naivete or short-sightedness. She didn't know the realities of the soulless existence she was choosing, how could she? She was so young, she couldn't possibly know the magnitude of what she was giving up, or so I thought. But maybe she understood more than I knew. My guilt lessened marginally.

"How much did you hear, anyway?" Bella asked, momentarily distracted from her tirade.

"Oh, sorry," I smiled apologetically. "I was with Alice when your future came back into focus. I got here not long after Charlie suggested we live in sin," I said wryly. "I hope you don't mind that I came before you called me. I was more than a little anxious to get back to you."

"So you didn't hear what happened with Jake, then?" Bella asked, chewing on her lip. She plopped down on the bed next to me, and threw herself backward so she was laying atop her quilt with her mahogany hair fanned out around her face like flames.

I twisted my body around to look at her prone form. I took her small hand in mine, and in what I hoped was a soothing gesture, I stroked the back of her hand with just the tips of my cool fingers.

"I must've missed it," I tried to sound casual but was hoping she would tell me about every moment I had missed. I was imagining the worst. Bella threw an arm over her eyes, hiding her face from me. My anxiety heightened.

Before I could beg her to tell me what had happened, she moaned, "I told Jake we're getting married."

Her voice was garbled by the back of her arm that was still obscuring her face. Using as little pressure as possible, I took hold of her elbow, and peeled her arm away from her face. It was hard enough trying to read her face when she was looking right at me.

It would not be helpful to let her see how exultant I was in that moment, even if I was a little disappointed that I didn't get to tell him myself, or at least see the look on the mongrel's face when she told him of our engagement. I sighed too quietly for her to hear. I guess I would just have to imagine his defeat.

I focused my thoughts. No, what she needed from me in that moment was to be supportive and compassionate, not boastful and cheery, much as I might have felt that way.

"I'm so sorry, love. That must've been…" Amazing…"terribly difficult for you. I know how much his friendship means to you."

I tried to look as sincere as I knew I sounded. I wasn't proud of my skilled abilities to deceive, but being a good liar was 'Survival 101' for a vampire. And while I promised I would never lie to her again, I also promised that I would never hurt her again, either, and that promise seemed of far greater importance than the former one did in this particular situation.

"How did he take it?" I asked, surreptitiously checking her over for injuries.

"I'm fine, Edward," Bella missed nothing. "In fact, you'd be proud of me. I made him stand 20 feet away from me before I told him anything." '

I couldn't hide my smile at that.

"I'm always proud of you, love." I ruffled her hair. "But today, I'm exceptionally so. Though, you didn't answer my question."

"He didn't phase, if that's what you're asking. He looked like he was trying not to, and I tried my best to calm him down. He thought.." she hesitated. I swallowed a groan. It never got any easier for me when she kept her thoughts to herself.

"What did he think?" I coaxed.

"He thought you already changed me. Because graduation came and went, and I haven't been down to see him in so long." I stiffened. I wondered if his curiosity was his own, or for the wolf pack's benefit.

"He must've been relieved to see that wasn't true," I said. Making assumptions always seemed to get her to talk more than asking questions.

"Yeah, at first. Then he was freaking out about us getting married, so I reminded him of that. That marriage isn't nearly as big of a deal by comparison. Just a piece of paper, right?" She sat up then.

I grimaced at her lackluster description of what would be the most momentous day of my 105 years.

"So then he asked, if it was just a piece of paper, why get married at 18? I didn't want to tell him about our agreement, so I told him the other reason about wanting to give my parents a proper goodbye," her eyes looked far away as she remembered the confrontation. Her voice trembled slightly as she retold it.

My eyes burned into hers, silently willing her to tell me what she was obviously leaving out.

She sighed, averting her eyes from me.

"And then he said I didn't need to die for him. And at that point I was getting real sick of hearing that from both of you," she glared at me, "So I told him you're the only reason I breathe at all. And then he stalked off."

I'm the reason she breathes? The words felt wrong in that order. Once again, I found myself completely awestruck by her unwavering ability to love a monster like me so boldly and unapologetically despite the unforgivable ways in which I've hurt her. I would never be worthy of her.

"How ironic," I murmured, "because you take my breath away."

I cupped my hand around the side of her face and kissed her with all the enthusiasm I could muster without actually hurting her. I couldn't bring myself to kiss her chastely when it felt like to do so would make me explode with my unspent love and desire. We fell backward on the bed, feverishly kissing, panting, and touching.

I rolled her so that she was on top of me, straddling my lap, and I kissed her senseless. When she needed to catch her breath, I kissed up and down her throat instead.

As I worshipped the long lines of her throat, my fingers curled around her ribcage and glided down until they encircled her slender waist. My hands descended even further and, my God, the curve of her hips between my hands unlocked primal urges within me that I had never felt before, not even as a human.

When I found myself resisting the urge to thrust up at her, I knew I needed to reign myself in or else risk gravely injuring her. As I extricated myself from her soft, supple body, some part of me was revolted by the ungentlemanly ways in which I had pawed at her body.

Though, a larger part of me could never regret giving in to the passion that she inspired, especially given how enthusiastic of a partner she was. The sight of her above me, her fair falling down around us, the sound of her soft moans. Her scent. Before I could do something I'd regret, I was across the room. She froze at the sudden loss of contact.

"I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not," Bella panted, her face flushed scarlet from her hairline down to the smooth skin that disappeared beneath the neckline of her blouse.

Keeping my eyes closed, I held up a finger, needing a moment to compose myself. I swallowed compulsively at the venom that pooled in my mouth.

She giggled coquettishly. "17 more days, lover boy," she winked. My eyes flew open at her wanton teasing and I growled. Her heart stuttered at the sound.

What a dangerous creature she was.

"I said we'd try," I reminded her. I'd said that phrase to her so many times it was starting to feel like the punchline of a joke from some 90's sitcom. I could practically hear the laugh track playing in the background.

Thinking better of rejoining her on the bed, I sat in the rocking chair in the corner, instead. She sat up to face me, crossing her denim-covered legs beneath her.

"Wouldn't it make more sense to, I don't know, build up to it a little bit? As opposed to waiting until our wedding night to go 0 to 60? Or in your case, 0 to 100, 'Mr. Vampires like to go fast.'"

She might've had a point about that, but I was not willing to concede the merits of that position when I was still struggling to control myself. At least my most pressing thirst, for the moment, was not for her blood. Though the craving I had for her body and her touch was nearly just as dangerous to her.

"Bella," I groaned. "You are going to be the death of me! You are too desirable for your own good," I smirked at her.

"Really?" She asked in a surprised tone looking pleased with herself.

"You still don't see yourself very clearly, do you? Put it this way, I'm not sitting over here trying to control my bloodlust," I hinted. I glanced down at my hands that were folded in my lap hiding the uncomfortable tightness of my jeans. Her eyes widened in surprise.

She opened her mouth as if to say something, but then closed it, blushing fiercely.

"What are you thinking?" I implored, hoping I hadn't offended her with my vulgar innuendo.

She shook her head. "Too embarrassing."

"Bella," my tone reproached her. She still stayed silent.

"I know I've been...a bit repressive when it comes to the physical side of our relationship. And you know why I have to be. But that doesn't mean I don't think about you like that. And it certainly doesn't mean that I don't want you like that. That couldn't be further from the truth!

...So if there are things you want to talk about, or ask me about, I don't want you to feel embarrassed. I'll always do my best to be honest with you. And I'd never laugh at you," I said sincerely.

"I guess I was just wondering if...well if you were a human boy, I could be reasonably sure what you'd do when you got home after having those...urges. I was just wondering if that was the same for you?"

Was she really asking me about that? "Like I've told you before, Bella. I may not be human, but I am a man," I grinned devilishly at the little vixen.

That made me curious, but I snapped my mouth shut before I could offend her ladylike sensibilities.

"Nuh uh, you don't get to do that, either, Cullen. Spill it!" She pointed at me accusingly.

"I guess I was just wondering…" I repeated her words using the same reticent tone, "what you did about those urges when I'm not around."

She burst out laughing, a reaction I did not expect. "That's sort of my problem, Edward. I would if I could, but when am I ever alone?" She guffawed.

My eyes opened wide at the revelation. So if I wasn't with her all the time, she'd be...while thinking of me? I groaned at the mental picture of it. This conversation was not helping the matter of my control, at all. But it did give me an idea.